Old 01-30-2013, 10:27 PM   #1076
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My cock is measure in meters, silly.
That's your height, sillly. RS told me you're 1.5 meters tall.
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Old 01-31-2013, 08:33 AM   #1077
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At risk of getting shot down by a host of people who think I'm the aforementioned asshat - I've been guilty of sending the "odd" PM.

I do try to be polite, judge the intentions of the recipient by looking at their posts, similarities, or sometimes their frank and honest arousal.

The overwhelming majority of these "unsolicited" messages go unnoticed. Which is not for me to jump up and down about and whine for responses. I get the reality that a lot of women (even if they're men in basements with weight and self esteem issues in reality) on here get way too many messages.

But I'm that curious at to HOW many messages you poor fuckers get, that I've been tempted, transparently through this thread and being honest on the boards, to set up a fake female account - JUST to see how quickly the inbox goes mental and the crazy lunatic messages you all get.

Like I said, I'm NOT going to run the account for long - and for a few relevant people, I'll PM you the account name so you can track my movements and confirm I'm not just "another" guy posing as a horny slut. I'll keep the names private of those that jump on it - but I am happy to report volumes of messages I receive so it gives it perspective.

i think this would give me much better understanding of WHY so many never respond with a courteous "no thanks, I'm not interested in you".

Anyone think this is a decent idea?

Regards,

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Old 01-31-2013, 08:39 AM   #1078
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That's your height, sillly. RS told me you're 1.5 meters tall.
Hey! Don't drag me into this! :P
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Old 01-31-2013, 08:45 AM   #1079
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Originally Posted by XpersiusX View Post
At risk of getting shot down by a host of people who think I'm the aforementioned asshat - I've been guilty of sending the "odd" PM.

I do try to be polite, judge the intentions of the recipient by looking at their posts, similarities, or sometimes their frank and honest arousal.

The overwhelming majority of these "unsolicited" messages go unnoticed. Which is not for me to jump up and down about and whine for responses. I get the reality that a lot of women (even if they're men in basements with weight and self esteem issues in reality) on here get way too many messages.

But I'm that curious at to HOW many messages you poor fuckers get, that I've been tempted, transparently through this thread and being honest on the boards, to set up a fake female account - JUST to see how quickly the inbox goes mental and the crazy lunatic messages you all get.

Like I said, I'm NOT going to run the account for long - and for a few relevant people, I'll PM you the account name so you can track my movements and confirm I'm not just "another" guy posing as a horny slut. I'll keep the names private of those that jump on it - but I am happy to report volumes of messages I receive so it gives it perspective.

i think this would give me much better understanding of WHY so many never respond with a courteous "no thanks, I'm not interested in you".

Anyone think this is a decent idea?

Regards,

NOT AN ASSHAT/PERVERT/ETC
It seems to go through phases with me where I will get a bunch in one day and then nothing for weeks.

I have never responded to random PMs, and still don't. Perhaps you might view that as discourteous, but I would counter that with sending me a picture of your cock, some random filth, or using your scrotum as your AV and then forcing into my field of vision is even poorer behaviour.
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Old 01-31-2013, 08:51 AM   #1080
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Perhaps you might view that as discourteous, but I would counter that with sending me a picture of your cock, some random filth, or using your scrotum as your AV and then forcing into my field of vision is even poorer behaviour.
You got the mail then??! I'm only KIDDING!!

Oddly enough, when I did have an AV, responses and interest from other "unsolicited" PM's went through the roof. Not everyone comes on to a sex orientated message board, with PM capability, and doesn't want any sort of interaction with sexually aroused people.

It's kind of inevitable.
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Old 01-31-2013, 08:56 AM   #1081
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Originally Posted by XpersiusX View Post
At risk of getting shot down by a host of people who think I'm the aforementioned asshat - I've been guilty of sending the "odd" PM.

I do try to be polite, judge the intentions of the recipient by looking at their posts, similarities, or sometimes their frank and honest arousal.

The overwhelming majority of these "unsolicited" messages go unnoticed. Which is not for me to jump up and down about and whine for responses. I get the reality that a lot of women (even if they're men in basements with weight and self esteem issues in reality) on here get way too many messages.

But I'm that curious at to HOW many messages you poor fuckers get, that I've been tempted, transparently through this thread and being honest on the boards, to set up a fake female account - JUST to see how quickly the inbox goes mental and the crazy lunatic messages you all get.

Like I said, I'm NOT going to run the account for long - and for a few relevant people, I'll PM you the account name so you can track my movements and confirm I'm not just "another" guy posing as a horny slut. I'll keep the names private of those that jump on it - but I am happy to report volumes of messages I receive so it gives it perspective.

i think this would give me much better understanding of WHY so many never respond with a courteous "no thanks, I'm not interested in you".

Anyone think this is a decent idea?

Regards,

NOT AN ASSHAT/PERVERT/ETC
You're not the first person to wonder why you don't get a courteous "No thanks, I'm not interested in you" reply.

There's rarely anything courteous about some guy I don't know who messages me out of the blue who only wants to use my words (or Skype or a phone call) as fodder to spank his monkey. It's not my purpose in life and it's not why I'm on Literotica.
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Old 01-31-2013, 09:01 AM   #1082
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Originally Posted by XpersiusX View Post
You got the mail then??! I'm only KIDDING!!

Oddly enough, when I did have an AV, responses and interest from other "unsolicited" PM's went through the roof. Not everyone comes on to a sex orientated message board, with PM capability, and doesn't want any sort of interaction with sexually aroused people.

It's kind of inevitable.
Inevitable?

You need to read this.
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Old 01-31-2013, 09:02 AM   #1083
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You're not the first person to wonder why you don't get a courteous "No thanks, I'm not interested in you" reply.

There's rarely anything courteous about some guy I don't know who messages me out of the blue who only wants to use my words (or Skype or a phone call) as fodder to spank his monkey. It's not my purpose in life and it's not why I'm on Literotica.
But some are. And if you dont want any - turn them off.
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Old 01-31-2013, 09:04 AM   #1084
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There's rarely anything courteous about some guy I don't know who messages me out of the blue who only wants to use my words (or Skype or a phone call) as fodder to spank his monkey. It's not my purpose in life and it's not why I'm on Literotica.[/quote]

You started a thread called dick pics. What on EARTH did you expect?
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Old 01-31-2013, 09:09 AM   #1085
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Inevitable?

You need to read this.
Your writing infers you speak on behalf of EVERY woman on the planet. Which you don't.

I wrote one thing, to UNDERSTAND how bad it can be, and this sounds very much like your defensive stance is to attack me. There's so much angst on here.

This is why I dont post on the boards much. Every time, it's just a slanging match.
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Old 01-31-2013, 09:13 AM   #1086
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But some are. And if you dont want any - turn them off.
It's not that we don't want ANY. I think it's perfectly fine when someone sees my profile and sends me a pm to say hello, or wants to share a common interest after they see me post on a thread. I've made a few friends that way.

The objection is to the massive volumes of Pm's from strangers who think that the women on Lit must be pornbots who can't wait to jump into a dirty chat with them based on a generic or offensive PM. Of course, that kind of woman is here....but it's pretty obvious, with a bit of research, which ones are here for random cybersex and which ones aren't.

To me, turning off the PM feature is akin to wearing a sign on my forehead that says "don't talk to me" because a guy in line at Starbucks propositioned me right after handing me a coffee.
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Old 01-31-2013, 09:16 AM   #1087
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But some are. And if you dont want any - turn them off.

What what?!
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Old 01-31-2013, 09:23 AM   #1088
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Go ahead, do your experiment but I don't think it'll be a valuable exercise. If you can't see anything wrong with it as a male....PRETENDING you're a female won't change that.
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Old 01-31-2013, 09:36 AM   #1089
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Originally Posted by XpersiusX View Post
But I'm that curious at to HOW many messages you poor fuckers get, that I've been tempted, transparently through this thread and being honest on the boards, to set up a fake female account - JUST to see how quickly the inbox goes mental and the crazy lunatic messages you all get.
It's been done before.
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Old 01-31-2013, 09:47 AM   #1090
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Go ahead, do your experiment but I don't think it'll be a valuable exercise. If you can't see anything wrong with it as a male....PRETENDING you're a female won't change that.
You missed the point. I didnt say it wasnt wrong. I said I wanted to appreciate the volume of the issue. the SCALE of pestering. Because, quite honestly, this boils down to the mars and venus thing. Most men are flattered for the attention from unsolicited advances - we spend most of our lives trying to peacock to the opposite sex - irrespective of how slutty/romantic it is.

Forget it - way too much aggression on here for it to work. You're all assuming I dont understand that its a problem. And for someone who doesnt post on the boards (for EXACTLY this reason - everything becomes a moral debate) - I dont want the female race to think I'm an 'Asshat' for contacting them, based on THEIR posts.
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Old 01-31-2013, 09:51 AM   #1091
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Originally Posted by Eilan View Post
Great thread! I especially liked this response ...

Quote:
Originally Posted by RawHumor View Post

... There seem to be a lot of male trolls just waiting to pounce on women. Women simply need to have a name to get attention from men. Having a pulse, a working vagina, tits, any particular facial features... all those things seem to be optional.
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Old 01-31-2013, 11:29 AM   #1092
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Originally Posted by XpersiusX View Post
You missed the point. I didnt say it wasnt wrong. I said I wanted to appreciate the volume of the issue. the SCALE of pestering. Because, quite honestly, this boils down to the mars and venus thing. Most men are flattered for the attention from unsolicited advances - we spend most of our lives trying to peacock to the opposite sex - irrespective of how slutty/romantic it is.

Forget it - way too much aggression on here for it to work. You're all assuming I dont understand that its a problem. And for someone who doesnt post on the boards (for EXACTLY this reason - everything becomes a moral debate) - I dont want the female race to think I'm an 'Asshat' for contacting them, based on THEIR posts.
You said peacock.
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Old 01-31-2013, 11:49 AM   #1093
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Originally Posted by XpersiusX View Post

But I'm that curious at to HOW many messages you poor fuckers get, that I've been tempted, transparently through this thread and being honest on the boards, to set up a fake female account - JUST to see how quickly the inbox goes mental and the crazy lunatic messages you all get.

NOT AN ASSHAT/PERVERT/ETC
An honest answer.
On the whole it ranges from ten to forty PMs a day, all from people I don't know, have not interacted with on the threads, and all looking for wank fodder.
Some are basically banaal one liners that I have no response to, for example "I thought I would say hi"
Some may have read a comment I have made somewhere and have a valid point to make, in which case I politely reply.
There are those that drop a small novel into your inbox which frankly are too poor to submit to the stories section so are forced under my unsuspecting eyes. Then there are the ones who just want to yahoo or skype or RP.

I have made some friends through them pming me, however the vast majority go in the bin
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Old 01-31-2013, 11:52 AM   #1094
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case in point

Quote:
Originally Posted by asshat
you posted after the mother who said, "Last night I walked downstairs and caught my son masturbating. He is 19 years old and did not know I saw him. He was on his laptop but I could not tell what he was watching. "

Do you think that the mother got sexually aroused? Would you if that happened to you?
I think that the op is the 19yr old having fantasies.
I know you haven't read my profile.[/quote]

Yes I read your profile but decided to risk being shot down as I think you are a really hot sexy woman and I would like to chat about our common interest...sex. Are you interested in sharing experiences?[/quote]

no
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Old 01-31-2013, 12:08 PM   #1095
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Most men are flattered for the attention from unsolicited advances - we spend most of our lives trying to peacock to the opposite sex - irrespective of how slutty/romantic it is.
And therein lies one of the problems. Because many men are flattered by unsolicited female attention, they assume that women are also--or should also be--grateful for or validated by unsolicited male attention.

It's the same logic that compels men to send unsolicited cock pics: "I'm turned on by visuals, so women must be, too. I'm gonna send some random online chick a close-up pic of my dripping, veiny, scrotalicious manmeat. She'll love my cawk as much as I do!"
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Old 01-31-2013, 12:20 PM   #1096
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Originally Posted by XpersiusX View Post
At risk of getting shot down by a host of people who think I'm the aforementioned asshat - I've been guilty of sending the "odd" PM.

I do try to be polite, judge the intentions of the recipient by looking at their posts, similarities, or sometimes their frank and honest arousal.

The overwhelming majority of these "unsolicited" messages go unnoticed. Which is not for me to jump up and down about and whine for responses. I get the reality that a lot of women (even if they're men in basements with weight and self esteem issues in reality) on here get way too many messages.

But I'm that curious at to HOW many messages you poor fuckers get, that I've been tempted, transparently through this thread and being honest on the boards, to set up a fake female account - JUST to see how quickly the inbox goes mental and the crazy lunatic messages you all get.

Like I said, I'm NOT going to run the account for long - and for a few relevant people, I'll PM you the account name so you can track my movements and confirm I'm not just "another" guy posing as a horny slut. I'll keep the names private of those that jump on it - but I am happy to report volumes of messages I receive so it gives it perspective.

i think this would give me much better understanding of WHY so many never respond with a courteous "no thanks, I'm not interested in you".

Anyone think this is a decent idea?

Regards,

NOT AN ASSHAT/PERVERT/ETC
I don't know that I've ever posted here, but honestly, I am trying to respectfully understand your position. So let's say you get 100 PMs.... then what? And if you get 2? Once you know, first hand, the question of volume, what will you take away from that? What are you hoping to learn? If you get 2 responses, will it change how you approach folks?

There are days I am overwhelmed with PMs, and days when I get little to none. I would agree that putting yourself out there on an adult website does attract a certain kind of attention. I find most folks to be respectful, and in return, I tried the route of sending a polite response ~ even when not interested. What I found was that some folks kept pushing the issue, trying to tell me all the reasons why "they" were "the one to help me overcome my shy." (making an assumption that's why I am here) I now have a signature line that tells folks I am not here to chat/cam... that has reduced the 'asshat' PMs for that purpose, although it did prompt a PM that said, "If you're not here to chat or cam, why the fuck are you here?" Followed up by: "Good luck with that." (It made me laugh, actually ~ everyone is entitled to their own opinions).

Then there are times when I might just be quietly lurking, but messages and requests keep coming just because I am online. Just because I am here, doesn't mean I always want to/have time to chat, respond, PM.... sometimes I am in the middle of updating my thread. Sometimes no response is a polite way of saying "I'm just not interested right now" Or for me, sometimes, it's because I don't have time at the moment to properly respond, but I'll get back to it later. It isn't personal.

Thinking that a woman is obligated to respond to PMs whether she likes them or not because she posts here, is like saying because a woman wears a short skirt and shows a little leg, she wants to have sex. It ain't necessarily so.

It's like this: I am here on Lit for *me*. I enjoy getting PMs. If a PM strikes my fancy, I'll respond. If it doesn't, I won't. For me, there is no exact science... no real need to analyze like I would in real life... it either flips the switch, or it doesn't, which for me, is part of the fun.

IMHO, it seems you are over thinking something that should be a fun and fulfilling experience for consenting adults. If she doesn't return your call, get someone else's phone number.
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Old 01-31-2013, 12:29 PM   #1097
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Then there are times when I might just be quietly lurking, but messages and requests keep coming just because I am online. Just because I am here, doesn't mean I always want to/have time to chat, respond, PM.... sometimes I am in the middle of updating my thread. Sometimes no response is a polite way of saying "I'm just not interested right now" Or for me, sometimes, it's because I don't have time at the moment to properly respond, but I'll get back to it later. It isn't personal.
If it bothers you too much, you can always make yourself invisible via the User CP.

It's not uncommon for asshats to go through the list of who's online and send form-letter PMs to Listers with female-sounding usernames. I'm not sure if that tactic works, though.
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Old 01-31-2013, 02:00 PM   #1098
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If it bothers you too much, you can always make yourself invisible via the User CP.

It's not uncommon for asshats to go through the list of who's online and send form-letter PMs to Listers with female-sounding usernames. I'm not sure if that tactic works, though.
Good advice, thank you, I never think to do that, honestly. You know, I must be really naive, I would never think someone would randomly do that...but it does explain some of the (exact same) PMs that I've gotten multiple times from a few folks!

I can't say it really bothers me ~ if it did, I truly would just turn off PMs. I was trying to let the OP know that just because someone doesn't get back to you immediately, it's not necessarily personal...they might just be busy doing something else.

I am one of those people who really does try to respond, but sometimes the PMing party makes it very, very difficult.... sometimes when I say nothing, it *is* the most polite thing I can do.


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Old 01-31-2013, 02:03 PM   #1099
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And therein lies one of the problems. Because many men are flattered by unsolicited female attention, they assume that women are also--or should also be--grateful for or validated by unsolicited male attention.

It's the same logic that compels men to send unsolicited cock pics: "I'm turned on by visuals, so women must be, too. I'm gonna send some random online chick a close-up pic of my dripping, veiny, scrotalicious manmeat. She'll love my cawk as much as I do!"
Omg, That made me laugh sooooooooo hard!
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Old 01-31-2013, 02:15 PM   #1100
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... Thinking that a woman is obligated to respond to PMs whether she likes them or not because she posts here, is like saying because a woman wears a short skirt and shows a little leg, she wants to have sex. It ain't necessarily so.

It's like this: I am here on Lit for *me*. I enjoy getting PMs. If a PM strikes my fancy, I'll respond. If it doesn't, I won't. For me, there is no exact science... no real need to analyze like I would in real life... it either flips the switch, or it doesn't, which for me, is part of the fun.

IMHO, it seems you are over thinking something that should be a fun and fulfilling experience for consenting adults. If she doesn't return your call, get someone else's phone number.
Very true.

I enjoy talking and writing about sex in open and public online conversations, but it doesn't mean I'm here to be a free and personal on-demand porn bot for some guy looking to amp up his wank session in PM's, chat, phone or Skype. It's not my thing. I don't enjoy it. It does nothing for me.

I don't mean to infer that every PM from a guy I don't or someone else doesn't know makes him an asshat. Some of these guys are just lonely, bored and/or harmless. I've pointed that out to a time or to people that have cut and pasted PM's in this thread.
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