Old 01-09-2013, 11:45 PM   #901
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Originally Posted by MsQuote View Post
Love this!

If I were into PM chats or open to meeting men on Lit (provided you lived reasonably close by), I'd love to get to know you.
First of all, thanks for liking that. It was truly heartfelt. (Including the irony at the end)

Secondly: Fucking tease, LOL.

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Old 01-10-2013, 03:37 AM   #902
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Here we go again....

Quote:
Him: I am a real master, know how to control a wip well Get back asap

Me: You may be able to control a whip, but you clearly can't spell.

Him:Cunt, it was my ipad. I have three degrees, including an MBA and a Law Degree. I know how to spell and whip your ass.

Me: Okay, I'm gonna stop you there. A master needs to be able to control his temper and behave himself. I have zero interest in interacting with someone as undisciplined and temperamental as you.
We shall see if he submits to writing back.
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Old 01-10-2013, 05:19 AM   #903
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Just had a small novel of fantasy wank material delivered to my inbox and to add a special twist this asshat has his PM function switched off so that I could point out the error of his ways. Should I name and shame...... Hmmm the temptation!
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Old 01-10-2013, 09:05 AM   #904
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Originally Posted by Aurantica View Post
Here we go again....

Quote:
Him: I am a real master, know how to control a wip well Get back asap

Me: You may be able to control a whip, but you clearly can't spell.

Him:Cunt, it was my ipad. I have three degrees, including an MBA and a Law Degree. I know how to spell and whip your ass.

Me: Okay, I'm gonna stop you there. A master needs to be able to control his temper and behave himself. I have zero interest in interacting with someone as undisciplined and temperamental as you.

We shall see if he submits to writing back.
Wow. Not that I'd be truly threatened by a PM, but that guy is scary.

I hope you reported him.

No one deserves to be PM'ed like that.
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Old 01-10-2013, 10:51 AM   #905
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Here we go again....



We shall see if he submits to writing back.
Very nicely handled!
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Old 01-10-2013, 10:52 AM   #906
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Originally Posted by Sweetdaisymae View Post
Just had a small novel of fantasy wank material delivered to my inbox and to add a special twist this asshat has his PM function switched off so that I could point out the error of his ways. Should I name and shame...... Hmmm the temptation!
I find that sending a quote for my editing service get people to stop sending me their "stories". [laughs]
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Old 01-10-2013, 11:00 AM   #907
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I have three degrees, including an MBA and a Law Degree.
So his parents liked anal, then?
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Old 01-10-2013, 12:19 PM   #908
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i was under the impression that blocking users prevents them from PMing. ?

ed
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Old 01-10-2013, 12:20 PM   #909
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Originally Posted by Sweetdaisymae View Post
Just had a small novel of fantasy wank material delivered to my inbox and to add a special twist this asshat has his PM function switched off so that I could point out the error of his ways. Should I name and shame...... Hmmm the temptation!
Ah, I know who you are talking about. He used to send me stuff and I didn't answer him back within 5 min, and he sent me a pissed off pm about "people who don't appreciate his fantasies and ignore him." Haven't gotten a peep out of him since. Might work for you too.
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Old 01-10-2013, 12:21 PM   #910
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Originally Posted by Aurantica View Post
Here we go again....



We shall see if he submits to writing back.
What an ass. Can't help myself, that looks like it could be quite an entertaining mad lib. . .
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Old 01-10-2013, 12:59 PM   #911
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So his parents liked anal, then?
LOL. good one.
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Old 01-10-2013, 01:06 PM   #912
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What an ass. Can't help myself, that looks like it could be quite an entertaining mad lib. . .
Him: I am a real gardener, know how to bake a laptop well Get back asap

Me: You may be able to ride a passport, but you clearly can't sing.

Him:Cunt, it was my stop sign. I have three dogs, including a pencil and an aquarium. I know how to lie and whip your sandwich.

Me: Okay, I'm gonna stop you there. A master needs to be able to remove his paperclip and behave himself. I have zero interest in interacting with someone as undisciplined and temperamental as you.


Thanks Mrs E - random word generator.
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Old 01-10-2013, 01:18 PM   #913
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a taster of the pm

I come from behind you as you sit in your office now working at your computer checking your email face booking and the like. Its late after your night shift you are on your computer now seeing what interesting and exciting emails might have arrived that you must reply to that night. Its late as usual about 1 PM your time. I wrap my hands around you now and start to kiss your neck. You sigh a bit as you do my hands slip down the front of your tank top and I start to squeeze your breast now baby . My lips brushing across the silky texture of your skin, light kisses start from your neck to the back of your ear now . My tongue traces an outline of your ear then enters your ear licking you. My hands have slipped into the top of your bra now and my finger tips are rubbing each nipple at the same time right over the very tip of each one. I kiss the back of your neck sinking my teeth into your flesh and tasting you now. You start to moan with pleasure as my fingers continue to rub and squeeze your nipples. Your head turns toward me now and our lips meet in a passionate open mouth kisses our tongues meet each other dancing and exploring . You slip your tongue now deep into my mouth as you do I take you in all the way sucking on your tongue wanting you so much now. I reach and grab your hand now you rise from your seat. Pulling you towards me now our lips meet and we kiss a long passionate kiss your body comes close to mine my arms bring you all the way in next to my body. So warm so hot for each other filled with desire for the other. I start to undress you now removing your tank top then I unclasp your bra removing it. I start to kiss your breast as I squeeze them with my hands , licking your nipples one by one over the very tip.

My tongue pleasuring the base of your nipple then brushing over the very top so lightly now chills running up your spine at the sensation from the stimulation of your brest. Taking your nipple into my mouth now baby and sucking it ever so hard ummm your flesh taste so good. How I love to suck on your breast one at a time turning you on with passion and desire now wanting me to make love to you. I go down to your waist now and remove your shorts then I place my fingers in your elastic waist band of your panties and I slowly lower them down your thighs. As I do this I start to kiss your stomach and lick your navel now making nice circles around it. Your skin over your abdomen start to quiver as my tongue hits your erogenous zones there you sigh and start to breath deep as I continue pleasuring you with my tongue. I spread your thigh apart in your stance and kneel between your legs. My hands reach around to your soft butt cheeks running my hands up and down your flesh pulling your hips closer to me I start to kiss your smoothly shaved mound. My tongue gliding back and forth with very light strokes now my hand massaging your cheeks as I do.
My tongue slide down your opening and moves up and down between the lips of your sweet spot. Tasting your wet juices as they flow from your inner depth. Your flesh filled with desire now wanting me now wanting to feel me deep in your body. I lick your clit now taking it into my mouth and sucking on it you start to moan with pleasure as I brush my tongue over your clit back and forth driving you wild with erotic pleasure . Ummm my member feels so hard with the thought of entering you now wanting to feel your flesh around it your warmth your softness. I stand erect and we kiss our lips embrace our bodies so hot with desire for the other we can not hold back any longer. I have you straddle your desk now and I spread your cheeks with my hand my member throbbing for you wet orifice ummm wanting to enter your wanting flesh. I place my member at the entrance of your love canal and gently slide into your body. Feeling the warmth of your walls around me now as you feel the thrust and you feel me stretch your walls taking me all the way inside of you. Ummm our bodies flesh burning up from the passion and desire. Our bodies rocking now gently as I thrust my hips into you, my hands reach around and grasp your breast now squeezing them as I penetrate your essence with faster and faster strokes. So hard now as it moves in and out of your body you feel the sensation of my throbbing member .

So rocking your world now baby as I plunge deeper inside of you with each stroke of my hardness. Ummm feel me baby as I fill your with my own flesh. That union as we become so close so united in passion and love for each other pleasuring each other with our body. Giving each other all that we are and pleasuring the other out of pure love. My body starts to move faster my thrust are harder and more intense as I do you feel my hardness twitching inside of you, my body starts to harden. Biting the back of your neck now out of pure passion sucking your flesh like a vampire as my member start to go into spasm like contractions filling you with my hot juices in the very depths of your body. Ummmm a flood of exhilaration comes over my body now as my orgasm intensified and our bodies go limp. I step back and you get up turning to me we embrace and kiss each other.

You reach for my hand now and tell me its your turn to pleasure me in the bedroom. Walking into your bedroom you close the door behind us and lock it. Strolling over to the bed. You have me lay on my back your body straddling mine now your lips kissing mine your breast resting on my chest as you cradle my head as you continue to kiss my lips. I hope the sexy story made your nipples hard and your bottom a little moist sweet lady.

I love making you feel so erotic sexy lady at the sound of my voice at my heavy breathing. I love pleasuring your body with my words and hop that they make you explode everytime you hear me taking erotically to you here or on skype. Wanting to bring something new, something exciting each and every time we chat or IM .
[quote]


Yadda yadda yadda!!! Dude, if you don't have your PM turned on how can I tell you how very annoying I find you! Would you approach a woman in rl and spout this? Of course not, you would get kicked in the nuts. Please accept this as a verbal kick in the nuts from me.....and don't do it again!
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Old 01-10-2013, 01:55 PM   #914
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Originally Posted by Sweetdaisymae View Post
Yadda yadda yadda!!! Dude, if you don't have your PM turned on how can I tell you how very annoying I find you! Would you approach a woman in rl and spout this? Of course not, you would get kicked in the nuts. Please accept this as a verbal kick in the nuts from me.....and don't do it again!
OK, I have the day off from work today, so plenty of time to either read L Ron Hubbard's "Mission Earth" which contains over a million words, or skim thru this guy's PM.

Two things struck me about that PM:

1. The amount of times he uses the word "now"...33 times.

2. The part where he said "You reach for my hand now (lucky #33) and tell me its your turn to pleasure me in the bedroom." Maybe I was skimming too quickly, but to me that implies she had an orgasm and now it was his turn. I had to go back and read it. She did not have an orgasm, and he is "owed" two? Bad form. Selfish bastard deserves that kick in the nuts!
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Old 01-10-2013, 03:49 PM   #915
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Originally Posted by imemkay View Post
OK, I have the day off from work today, so plenty of time to either read L Ron Hubbard's "Mission Earth" which contains over a million words, or skim thru this guy's PM.

Two things struck me about that PM:

1. The amount of times he uses the word "now"...33 times.

2. The part where he said "You reach for my hand now (lucky #33) and tell me its your turn to pleasure me in the bedroom." Maybe I was skimming too quickly, but to me that implies she had an orgasm and now it was his turn. I had to go back and read it. She did not have an orgasm, and he is "owed" two? Bad form. Selfish bastard deserves that kick in the nuts!
you read it? all of it?....wow! I didn't get past the first couple of lines before the urge to evacuate my bowels became overwhelming.
I stand in awe
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Old 01-10-2013, 04:24 PM   #916
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A word from a "nice guy" who visited this thread out of writer curiosity....

How do I know I might be a nice guy? I have never PM a woman with a suggestive comment.

That said, have I wound up meeting some remarkably wonderful, vibrant, intelligent, sexy women online? You betcha.

How did I do it? (Guys trolling this thread, pay attention): I did it by being me.
That's good advice. If "being me" isn't being a complete and total dick. I think a lot of those guys ARE being themselves. Their personalities are just bad enough to make a buzzard fall off a shitwagon.

It's funny, because I can picture who these guys are in real life. I think the ones with the really awful spelling are the type of guys who think that they could fuck like a pornstar and they still hi five their buddies about "the chick with big tits they banged this weekend" and they wear Axe body Spray. I think the creepy ones with the looooong posts about wanting to be a daddy or whatever are nerdy, computer types:



Either way, they see girls simply as inanimate objects. Like a one size fits all kind of thing.

But to be honest, these things really make me laugh.
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Old 01-10-2013, 04:31 PM   #917
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I come from behind you as you sit in your office now working at your computer checking your email face booking and the like. Its late after your night shift you are on your computer now seeing what interesting and exciting emails might have arrived that you must reply to that night. Its late as usual about 1 PM your time. I wrap my hands around you now and start to kiss your neck. You sigh a bit as you do my hands slip down the front of your tank top and I start to squeeze your breast now baby . My lips brushing across the silky texture of your skin, light kisses start from your neck to the back of your ear now . My tongue traces an outline of your ear then enters your ear licking you. My hands have slipped into the top of your bra now and my finger tips are rubbing each nipple at the same time right over the very tip of each one. I kiss the back of your neck sinking my teeth into your flesh and tasting you now. You start to moan with pleasure as my fingers continue to rub and squeeze your nipples. Your head turns toward me now and our lips meet in a passionate open mouth kisses our tongues meet each other dancing and exploring . You slip your tongue now deep into my mouth as you do I take you in all the way sucking on your tongue wanting you so much now. I reach and grab your hand now you rise from your seat. Pulling you towards me now our lips meet and we kiss a long passionate kiss your body comes close to mine my arms bring you all the way in next to my body. So warm so hot for each other filled with desire for the other. I start to undress you now removing your tank top then I unclasp your bra removing it. I start to kiss your breast as I squeeze them with my hands , licking your nipples one by one over the very tip.

My tongue pleasuring the base of your nipple then brushing over the very top so lightly now chills running up your spine at the sensation from the stimulation of your brest. Taking your nipple into my mouth now baby and sucking it ever so hard ummm your flesh taste so good. How I love to suck on your breast one at a time turning you on with passion and desire now wanting me to make love to you. I go down to your waist now and remove your shorts then I place my fingers in your elastic waist band of your panties and I slowly lower them down your thighs. As I do this I start to kiss your stomach and lick your navel now making nice circles around it. Your skin over your abdomen start to quiver as my tongue hits your erogenous zones there you sigh and start to breath deep as I continue pleasuring you with my tongue. I spread your thigh apart in your stance and kneel between your legs. My hands reach around to your soft butt cheeks running my hands up and down your flesh pulling your hips closer to me I start to kiss your smoothly shaved mound. My tongue gliding back and forth with very light strokes now my hand massaging your cheeks as I do.
My tongue slide down your opening and moves up and down between the lips of your sweet spot. Tasting your wet juices as they flow from your inner depth. Your flesh filled with desire now wanting me now wanting to feel me deep in your body. I lick your clit now taking it into my mouth and sucking on it you start to moan with pleasure as I brush my tongue over your clit back and forth driving you wild with erotic pleasure . Ummm my member feels so hard with the thought of entering you now wanting to feel your flesh around it your warmth your softness. I stand erect and we kiss our lips embrace our bodies so hot with desire for the other we can not hold back any longer. I have you straddle your desk now and I spread your cheeks with my hand my member throbbing for you wet orifice ummm wanting to enter your wanting flesh. I place my member at the entrance of your love canal and gently slide into your body. Feeling the warmth of your walls around me now as you feel the thrust and you feel me stretch your walls taking me all the way inside of you. Ummm our bodies flesh burning up from the passion and desire. Our bodies rocking now gently as I thrust my hips into you, my hands reach around and grasp your breast now squeezing them as I penetrate your essence with faster and faster strokes. So hard now as it moves in and out of your body you feel the sensation of my throbbing member .

So rocking your world now baby as I plunge deeper inside of you with each stroke of my hardness. Ummm feel me baby as I fill your with my own flesh. That union as we become so close so united in passion and love for each other pleasuring each other with our body. Giving each other all that we are and pleasuring the other out of pure love. My body starts to move faster my thrust are harder and more intense as I do you feel my hardness twitching inside of you, my body starts to harden. Biting the back of your neck now out of pure passion sucking your flesh like a vampire as my member start to go into spasm like contractions filling you with my hot juices in the very depths of your body. Ummmm a flood of exhilaration comes over my body now as my orgasm intensified and our bodies go limp. I step back and you get up turning to me we embrace and kiss each other.

You reach for my hand now and tell me its your turn to pleasure me in the bedroom. Walking into your bedroom you close the door behind us and lock it. Strolling over to the bed. You have me lay on my back your body straddling mine now your lips kissing mine your breast resting on my chest as you cradle my head as you continue to kiss my lips. I hope the sexy story made your nipples hard and your bottom a little moist sweet lady.

I love making you feel so erotic sexy lady at the sound of my voice at my heavy breathing. I love pleasuring your body with my words and hop that they make you explode everytime you hear me taking erotically to you here or on skype. Wanting to bring something new, something exciting each and every time we chat or IM .

I think the best response here (if his PMs were on) would have been a simple "ok".
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Old 01-10-2013, 04:40 PM   #918
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OK, I have the day off from work today, so plenty of time to either read L Ron Hubbard's "Mission Earth" which contains over a million words, or skim thru this guy's PM.

Two things struck me about that PM:

1. The amount of times he uses the word "now"...33 times.

2. The part where he said "You reach for my hand now (lucky #33) and tell me its your turn to pleasure me in the bedroom." Maybe I was skimming too quickly, but to me that implies she had an orgasm and now it was his turn. I had to go back and read it. She did not have an orgasm, and he is "owed" two? Bad form. Selfish bastard deserves that kick in the nuts!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXPeLctgvQI
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Old 01-10-2013, 05:08 PM   #919
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Hehe where do you find all this stuff?
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Old 01-10-2013, 05:30 PM   #920
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Hehe where do you find all this stuff?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweetdaisymae View Post
I come from behind you as you sit in your office meow working at your computer checking your email face booking and the like. Its late after your night shift you are on your computer meow seeing what interesting and exciting emails might have arrived that you must reply to that night. Its late as usual about 1 PM your time. I wrap my hands around you now and start to kiss your neck. You sigh a bit as you do my hands slip down the front of your tank top and I start to squeeze your breast meow baby . My lips brushing across the silky texture of your skin, light kisses start from your neck to the back of your ear meow . My tongue traces an outline of your ear then enters your ear licking you. My hands have slipped into the top of your bra meow and my finger tips are rubbing each nipple at the same time right over the very tip of each one. I kiss the back of your neck sinking my teeth into your flesh and tasting you meow. You start to moan with pleasure as my fingers continue to rub and squeeze your nipples. Your head turns toward me meow and our lips meet in a passionate open mouth kisses our tongues meet each other dancing and exploring . You slip your tongue meow deep into my mouth as you do I take you in all the way sucking on your tongue wanting you so much meow. I reach and grab your hand meow you rise from your seat. Pulling you towards me meow our lips meet and we kiss a long passionate kiss your body comes close to mine my arms bring you all the way in next to my body. So warm so hot for each other filled with desire for the other. I start to undress you meow removing your tank top then I unclasp your bra removing it. I start to kiss your breast as I squeeze them with my hands , licking your nipples one by one over the very tip.

My tongue pleasuring the base of your nipple then brushing over the very top so lightly meow chills running up your spine at the sensation from the stimulation of your brest. Taking your nipple into my mouth meow baby and sucking it ever so hard ummm your flesh taste so good. How I love to suck on your breast one at a time turning you on with passion and desire meow wanting me to make love to you. I go down to your waist now and remove your shorts then I place my fingers in your elastic waist band of your panties and I slowly lower them down your thighs. As I do this I start to kiss your stomach and lick your navel meow making nice circles around it. Your skin over your abdomen start to quiver as my tongue hits your erogenous zones there you sigh and start to breath deep as I continue pleasuring you with my tongue. I spread your thigh apart in your stance and kneel between your legs. My hands reach around to your soft butt cheeks running my hands up and down your flesh pulling your hips closer to me I start to kiss your smoothly shaved mound. My tongue gliding back and forth with very light strokes now my hand massaging your cheeks as I do.
My tongue slide down your opening and moves up and down between the lips of your sweet spot. Tasting your wet juices as they flow from your inner depth. Your flesh filled with desire now wanting me meow wanting to feel me deep in your body. I lick your clit meow taking it into my mouth and sucking on it you start to moan with pleasure as I brush my tongue over your clit back and forth driving you wild with erotic pleasure . Ummm my member feels so hard with the thought of entering you meow wanting to feel your flesh around it your warmth your softness. I stand erect and we kiss our lips embrace our bodies so hot with desire for the other we can not hold back any longer. I have you straddle your desk meow and I spread your cheeks with my hand my member throbbing for you wet orifice ummm wanting to enter your wanting flesh. I place my member at the entrance of your love canal and gently slide into your body. Feeling the warmth of your walls around me meow as you feel the thrust and you feel me stretch your walls taking me all the way inside of you. Ummm our bodies flesh burning up from the passion and desire. Our bodies rocking now gently as I thrust my hips into you, my hands reach around and grasp your breast now squeezing them as I penetrate your essence with faster and faster strokes. So hard now as it moves in and out of your body you feel the sensation of my throbbing member .

So rocking your world meow baby as I plunge deeper inside of you with each stroke of my hardness. Ummm feel me baby as I fill your with my own flesh. That union as we become so close so united in passion and love for each other pleasuring each other with our body. Giving each other all that we are and pleasuring the other out of pure love. My body starts to move faster my thrust are harder and more intense as I do you feel my hardness twitching inside of you, my body starts to harden. Biting the back of your neck meow out of pure passion sucking your flesh like a vampire as my member start to go into spasm like contractions filling you with my hot juices in the very depths of your body. Ummmm a flood of exhilaration comes over my body meow as my orgasm intensified and our bodies go limp. I step back and you get up turning to me we embrace and kiss each other.

You reach for my hand now and tell me its your turn to pleasure me in the bedroom. Walking into your bedroom you close the door behind us and lock it. Strolling over to the bed. You have me lay on my back your body straddling mine meow your lips kissing mine your breast resting on my chest as you cradle my head as you continue to kiss my lips. I hope the sexy story made your nipples hard and your bottom a little moist sweet lady.

I love making you feel so erotic sexy lady at the sound of my voice at my heavy breathing. I love pleasuring your body with my words and hop that they make you explode everytime you hear me taking erotically to you here or on skype. Wanting to bring something new, something exciting each and every time we chat or IM .
Damn, that was hard work. M, you see how much work I do for you? You had better appreciate me. After all, I'm entitled to it. meow

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCv_OEtTn2M

Last edited by Christopher2012 : 01-10-2013 at 05:42 PM.
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Old 01-10-2013, 05:42 PM   #921
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Old 01-10-2013, 05:50 PM   #922
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Originally Posted by Christopher2012 View Post
Damn, that was hard work. M, you see how much work I do for you? You had better appreciate me. After all, I'm entitled to it. meow

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCv_OEtTn2M
I'm sure it was very strenuous, Christopher. You are SUCH a nice guy! I'll show my appreciation later...and in keeping with the theme of your posts, maybe I'll even wear my kitty cat ears! LOL
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Old 01-10-2013, 05:56 PM   #923
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I'm sure it was very strenuous, Christopher. I'll show my appreciation later...and in keeping with the theme of your posts, maybe I'll even wear my kitty cat ears! LOL
So M, how sexy would it be if I just read that whole post aloud to you tonight? I think I'm going to do that. It'll probably take like... a thousand hours.
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Old 01-10-2013, 05:58 PM   #924
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So M, how sexy would it be if I just read that whole post aloud to you tonight? I think I'm going to do that. It'll probably take like... a thousand hours.
A thousand hours...<sigh>
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Old 01-10-2013, 07:47 PM   #925
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License and registration chicken fucker! Bwaaaak!!
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