Old 10-26-2012, 02:31 AM   #376
NippleMuncher
Masticatus Nipplicanis
 
NippleMuncher's Avatar
 
NippleMuncher is offline
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Lost in Imfamy
Posts: 3,625
Quote:
Originally Posted by luvnmyboys View Post
"do you smoke at all?
I'm 26, I find women who are slightly older who smoke to be very attractive."
Mmmmmm, do I smell BBQ? WHOA!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K4rpNX5YWYA
__________________
Boobies are like toy trains ... They are meant for kids but big boys like playing with them too!
  Reply With Quote

Old 10-27-2012, 10:56 AM   #377
silverwhisper
just this guy, you know?
 
silverwhisper's Avatar
 
silverwhisper is offline
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: in a home, of course
Posts: 10,853
so i was thinking more about the form letter response and i realized i didn't like it cuz it kinda requires selecting one or more reasons. i also realized that while i love the idea of bone-crushing snark in the reply, that approach is flawed because: a) some people like abuse and b) it kinda invites a reply, which is not desirable. so here's take 2:

Quote:
your unsolicited and (frankly) ludicrous attempt to hump my leg via PM has won you an award:

1) this form response, and
2) my copying & pasting your pathetic attempt at written english communication in the PM asshattery thread.

any future such communications will be treated in the same fashion.

have a day.
__________________
"i think this line's mostly filler"--willow rosenberg, once more, with feeling, season 6, buffy the vampire slayer

exemplar of youthful snark: "does it hurt little boy? are you going to cry now? well suck it up and be a man."

psst! hey, wanna see a blog?
  Reply With Quote

Old 10-27-2012, 11:14 AM   #378
Eilan
Paid Internet Troll
 
Eilan's Avatar
 
Eilan is offline
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: 'Murika! Fuck, yeah!
Posts: 9,852
Quote:
your unsolicited and (frankly) ludicrous attempt to hump my leg via PM has won you an award:

1) this form response, and
2) my copying & pasting your pathetic attempt at written english communication in the PM asshattery thread.

any future such communications will be treated in the same fashion.

have a day.
Where's the "Like" button?
  Reply With Quote

Old 10-27-2012, 09:46 PM   #379
Jessicasc1970
Literotica Guru
 
Jessicasc1970's Avatar
 
Jessicasc1970 is offline
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: SC
Posts: 1,022
Today I got my first dick picture, and one wanting to blow my husband while I watched. Neither are of interest to me, or my husband.
  Reply With Quote

Old 10-28-2012, 09:51 AM   #380
MsQuote
Polite Depraved Dame
 
MsQuote's Avatar
 
MsQuote is offline
Join Date: May 2012
Location: State of Arousal
Posts: 1,406
Here's one I just got this morning.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MsQuote
Quote:
Originally Posted by Asshat
Do u like presents? I'd love to spoil you. I'm Xxxxxx from xx
I love to give presents, too!

Here are two for you to use before you send your next PM:

The Chicago Manual of Style

Dictionary.com
__________________
MsQuote

http://agoodwomansdirtymind.com
Erotic Stories - Pleasures in Photography - Relationship Ramblings - Seductive Soundtracks - Seriously Sexy Fun

A Masterful Seduction by the Book, Taking Flights, Taking Rides , and A Good Woman's Dirty Mind available at Smashwords

Stories on Literotica
  Reply With Quote

Old 10-31-2012, 05:07 PM   #381
GrrlFriday
Literotica Guru
 
GrrlFriday is offline
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 553
Ooh, I've had that one too - I wrote him back a very thorough response about how 'spoiling' has been spoiled for me.

What's the best response to asshat queries about my attire, or what kind of 'panties' I'm wearing? I don't really understand it...
__________________
  Reply With Quote

Old 10-31-2012, 05:28 PM   #382
MsQuote
Polite Depraved Dame
 
MsQuote's Avatar
 
MsQuote is offline
Join Date: May 2012
Location: State of Arousal
Posts: 1,406
Quote:
Originally Posted by GrrlFriday View Post
Ooh, I've had that one too - I wrote him back a very thorough response about how 'spoiling' has been spoiled for me.

What's the best response to asshat queries about my attire, or what kind of 'panties' I'm wearing? I don't really understand it...
I've sent this pic as an answer a few times ...

__________________
MsQuote

http://agoodwomansdirtymind.com
Erotic Stories - Pleasures in Photography - Relationship Ramblings - Seductive Soundtracks - Seriously Sexy Fun

A Masterful Seduction by the Book, Taking Flights, Taking Rides , and A Good Woman's Dirty Mind available at Smashwords

Stories on Literotica
  Reply With Quote

Old 10-31-2012, 05:53 PM   #383
GrrlFriday
Literotica Guru
 
GrrlFriday is offline
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 553
Quote:
Originally Posted by MsQuote View Post
I've sent this pic as an answer a few times ...

That's GORGEOUS. Thanks!!!
__________________
  Reply With Quote

Old 10-31-2012, 06:07 PM   #384
jennytwoshoes
Really Experienced
 
jennytwoshoes is offline
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: A rural idyll
Posts: 115
Just ... all the guys who PM me after I make a comment on a thread asking if I want to "tell them more", or all the guys who blindly offer me an ASL and a request to chat ... stop doing it. :-/
  Reply With Quote

Old 10-31-2012, 06:14 PM   #385
GrrlFriday
Literotica Guru
 
GrrlFriday is offline
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 553
I tend to dryly note that yes, ASL is all I need to know about them before I leap into their arms.
__________________
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-01-2012, 01:58 PM   #386
Texguy84
Professional Pervert
 
Texguy84's Avatar
 
Texguy84 is offline
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Japan
Posts: 4,149
Quote:
Originally Posted by GrrlFriday View Post
I tend to dryly note that yes, ASL is all I need to know about them before I leap into their arms.
Well, if he knows American Sign Language, you KNOW he's good with his hands!
__________________
My newest story: Demonic Cuckold.

"There is no problem that can not be solved with suitable applications of lubricant or force."

I have a sexual purity score of 60.2% (39.8% corrupt). What's YOUR sexual purity score?

My Sex Map

My Stories

My Tumblr

If you need help, here are some places you can contact.
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-05-2012, 10:49 AM   #387
xBuxombabex
Literotica Guru
 
xBuxombabex's Avatar
 
xBuxombabex is offline
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: England
Posts: 1,074
Oh dear - can't be bothered pasting the last one I got here - it's too long, but
a) Don't send me crappy stories & then claim they were inspired by me - I very much doubt it &
b) I'm 37 - don't refer to me as 'an older woman' it's not appreciated!
__________________
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-05-2012, 11:08 AM   #388
Saucyminx
angry bitch for hire
 
Saucyminx's Avatar
 
Saucyminx is offline
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 3,241
Quote:
Originally Posted by xBuxombabex View Post
Oh dear - can't be bothered pasting the last one I got here - it's too long, but
a) Don't send me crappy stories & then claim they were inspired by me - I very much doubt it &
b) I'm 37 - don't refer to me as 'an older woman' it's not appreciated!
You know BB, I am 43 and get "mature" once in a while and think wow. . . not cool man, not cool at all. It does crack me up though. I think well, I guess when you are all of 16 and posting on here pretending to be 30, 43 would qualify as mature.

*strapping on my orthopedic stripper shoes, and hobbling away for the early bird special*
__________________
My first new story in 3 long years

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. -- Kathleen Casey Theisen

Some days it just doesn't pay to gnaw through the leather straps. --Emo Philips

Don't think about it, just swallow. --my friend Eileen

She went around with a broken heart, and she wasn't sure who'd broken it. She thought it was herself, mostly.
― Ann Brashares


Come on in--the smut is fine
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-05-2012, 11:22 AM   #389
Emerson40
An evening spent dancing
 
Emerson40's Avatar
 
Emerson40 is offline
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: It's not where, but who you're with that matters
Posts: 2,171
Quote:
Originally Posted by xBuxombabex View Post
Oh dear - can't be bothered pasting the last one I got here - it's too long, but
a) Don't send me crappy stories & then claim they were inspired by me - I very much doubt it &
b) I'm 37 - don't refer to me as 'an older woman' it's not appreciated!
Her Saucyness hit upon it. Keep in mind some of these guys probably only just recently took their Avril Lavigne posters down, and they're ranking you in the same spank-bank categories as their friend's moms.
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-05-2012, 12:34 PM   #390
xBuxombabex
Literotica Guru
 
xBuxombabex's Avatar
 
xBuxombabex is offline
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: England
Posts: 1,074
Quote:
Originally Posted by Saucyminx View Post
You know BB, I am 43 and get "mature" once in a while and think wow. . . not cool man, not cool at all. It does crack me up though. I think well, I guess when you are all of 16 and posting on here pretending to be 30, 43 would qualify as mature.

*strapping on my orthopedic stripper shoes, and hobbling away for the early bird special*
Thanks Saucy - that made me feel a bit better and made me laugh!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Emerson40 View Post
Her Saucyness hit upon it. Keep in mind some of these guys probably only just recently took their Avril Lavigne posters down, and they're ranking you in the same spank-bank categories as their friend's moms.
I know you're right E but I don't have kids yet so I don't feel like someone's Mum!
I feel like when we're talking sex most people want to feel young & gorgeous in their fantasies - it would be like me saying to them 'I want to lift your beer gut & lick your slightly saggy balls!'
__________________
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-05-2012, 12:52 PM   #391
imemkay
Lucky Girl
 
imemkay's Avatar
 
imemkay is offline
Join Date: May 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 1,693
Quote:
Originally Posted by xBuxombabex View Post
I know you're right E but I don't have kids yet so I don't feel like someone's Mum!
I feel like when we're talking sex most people want to feel young & gorgeous in their fantasies - it would be like me saying to them 'I want to lift your beer gut & lick your slightly saggy balls!'
HAHAHA!!! This just made me spit my water half way across the room!
__________________
I want to wake up where you are.
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-05-2012, 12:54 PM   #392
Saucyminx
angry bitch for hire
 
Saucyminx's Avatar
 
Saucyminx is offline
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 3,241
Quote:
Originally Posted by xBuxombabex View Post
I know you're right E but I don't have kids yet so I don't feel like someone's Mum!
I feel like when we're talking sex most people want to feel young & gorgeous in their fantasies - it would be like me saying to them 'I want to lift your beer gut & lick your slightly saggy balls!'
That should have come with a spew alert.
__________________
My first new story in 3 long years

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. -- Kathleen Casey Theisen

Some days it just doesn't pay to gnaw through the leather straps. --Emo Philips

Don't think about it, just swallow. --my friend Eileen

She went around with a broken heart, and she wasn't sure who'd broken it. She thought it was herself, mostly.
― Ann Brashares


Come on in--the smut is fine
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-05-2012, 01:00 PM   #393
imemkay
Lucky Girl
 
imemkay's Avatar
 
imemkay is offline
Join Date: May 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 1,693
Quote:
Originally Posted by Saucyminx View Post
That should have come with a spew alert.
It really should have!
When are we headed to Alaska, btw? I could use a good girls night out!
__________________
I want to wake up where you are.
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-05-2012, 01:01 PM   #394
Eilan
Paid Internet Troll
 
Eilan's Avatar
 
Eilan is offline
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: 'Murika! Fuck, yeah!
Posts: 9,852
Quote:
Originally Posted by xBuxombabex View Post
'I want to lift your beer gut & lick your slightly saggy balls!'
That's a mental image I wish I could unsee.
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-05-2012, 01:16 PM   #395
Emerson40
An evening spent dancing
 
Emerson40's Avatar
 
Emerson40 is offline
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: It's not where, but who you're with that matters
Posts: 2,171
Quote:
Originally Posted by xBuxombabex View Post
I feel like when we're talking sex most people want to feel young & gorgeous in their fantasies - it would be like me saying to them 'I want to lift your beer gut & lick your slightly saggy balls!'
Too funny!

At first glance, there is potential for this as a reply to an asshat PM.
But the risk of the sarcasm being missed entirely, and the potential that such a reply could be encouraging makes this a poor response.

But it is a great contribution to the thread, gave some laughs, and looks like some folks are wiping their screeens and keyboards.

Thanks for laugh!
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-05-2012, 05:48 PM   #396
xBuxombabex
Literotica Guru
 
xBuxombabex's Avatar
 
xBuxombabex is offline
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: England
Posts: 1,074
Excellent - I'm glad I could bring a little laughter to a Monday!

I shall defintely not be using that line - I could already name some people who would take that as a chat up line!
__________________
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-06-2012, 07:16 AM   #397
Lokishoney
Really Really Experienced
 
Lokishoney's Avatar
 
Lokishoney is offline
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: United States
Posts: 390
Being new, I must say this thread has been an educational experience for me. Thanks to all who posted here.
__________________
Nichts ist für immer - Der Graf
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-06-2012, 04:38 PM   #398
BeachMomma
Sweet n Innocent
 
BeachMomma's Avatar
 
BeachMomma is offline
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: In your wildest dreams
Posts: 3,976
Quote:
Originally Posted by xBuxombabex View Post
'I want to lift your beer gut & lick your slightly saggy balls!'
OK, whoever stole the disclaimer sign - No food and drink allowed while reading posts - bring it back! Bring it back NOW!
__________________
My Literotica Submissions

Gentlemen may prefer blondes, but it takes a real man to handle a redhead.


I came to Literotica for the Eros. I stay for the Agape (LakeSailer_MI, 2013).
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-07-2012, 08:44 AM   #399
MsQuote
Polite Depraved Dame
 
MsQuote's Avatar
 
MsQuote is offline
Join Date: May 2012
Location: State of Arousal
Posts: 1,406
Am I the only straight woman who gets asshat PM's from bi and bi-curious women? Most of them are as sleazy as the sleazy ones that come from men.

Guys and gals, have some class. Don't troll around and approach people unless you know they're open and receptive to these kinds of messages.
__________________
MsQuote

http://agoodwomansdirtymind.com
Erotic Stories - Pleasures in Photography - Relationship Ramblings - Seductive Soundtracks - Seriously Sexy Fun

A Masterful Seduction by the Book, Taking Flights, Taking Rides , and A Good Woman's Dirty Mind available at Smashwords

Stories on Literotica
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-07-2012, 09:03 AM   #400
Scheherazade73
Really Experienced
 
Scheherazade73 is offline
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: East Coast, near lots & lots of water
Posts: 157
giggles

You girls have made me laugh on a boring Wednesday morning. What a great thread this is
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 06:59 PM.

Copyright 1998-2013 Literotica Online. Literotica is a registered trademark.