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Old 01-26-2015, 03:06 PM   #1
southern_gal
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Fantasies getting out of control

Lately my fantasies are getting darker and less normal than usual and perhaps more than I care to admit. Why is this? I like to think I am normal and have a normal sex life but for some reason I seem to masturbate more and more to fantasies that I regret later. Help?
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Old 01-26-2015, 03:09 PM   #2
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Lately my fantasies are getting darker and less normal than usual and perhaps more than I care to admit. Why is this? I like to think I am normal and have a normal sex life but for some reason I seem to masturbate more and more to fantasies that I regret later. Help?
Darker and less normal are relative. Maybe it's not a reget that you fantasized about them, maybe it's a regret of unfulfillment
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Old 01-26-2015, 03:21 PM   #3
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Darker and less normal are relative. Maybe it's not a reget that you fantasized about them, maybe it's a regret of unfulfillment
That is a whole other topic and one that I am trying not to let bother me tho it does.
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Old 01-26-2015, 03:24 PM   #4
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I think everyone's do to a degree.

Take porn. We start out with couples or one on one scene where they are both beautiful. Then soon it becomes threesomes...and then mature or cheating and then bukakke and then gang bangs and midgets and large boobs and complilations and ...It never ends. LOL Oh wait, that's just me!
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Old 01-26-2015, 03:30 PM   #5
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I think everyone's do to a degree.

Take porn. We start out with couples or one on one scene where they are both beautiful. Then soon it becomes threesomes...and then mature or cheating and then bukakke and then gang bangs and midgets and large boobs and complilations and ...It never ends. LOL Oh wait, that's just me!
And then what happens when we (I) start to blur the line between fantasy and reality? I am starting to consider things that I once wouldn't dare even imagine.
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Old 01-26-2015, 03:31 PM   #6
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And then what happens when we (I) start to blur the line between fantasy and reality? I am starting to consider things that I once wouldn't dare even imagine.
Good question. I think we need to step back a bit and be grateful for what we have, because then it never ends. It's never enough.
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Old 01-26-2015, 03:33 PM   #7
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Good question. I think we need to step back a bit and be grateful for what we have, because then it never ends. It's never enough.
Point taken. And thank you.
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Old 01-26-2015, 03:35 PM   #8
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Point taken. And thank you.
Of course, not all fantasies that go a bit darker are bad.
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Old 01-26-2015, 03:41 PM   #9
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Of course, not all fantasies that go a bit darker are bad.
Ever had an orgasm and a few minutes later cried because of the fantasy that brought it on? I have. Things just get fuzzy sometimes.
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Old 01-26-2015, 03:43 PM   #10
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Ever had an orgasm and a few minutes later cried because of the fantasy that brought it on? I have. Things just get fuzzy sometimes.
Sorry. I've had fantasies almost as crazy. never acted on them though.

I think as long as they are fantasies it's okay.

Lot's of people have incest fantasies, and read those stories but would never ever do that in real life.

Lot's of women have rape fantasies but would never want them in real life. Lit is a safe place to read and set those fantasies loose. I think if we don't let those fantasies loose in our minds every once in a while it makes us crazier.

You're normal.
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Old 01-26-2015, 03:51 PM   #11
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Sorry. I've had fantasies almost as crazy. never acted on them though.

I think as long as they are fantasies it's okay.

Lot's of people have incest fantasies, and read those stories but would never ever do that in real life.

Lot's of women have rape fantasies but would never want them in real life. Lit is a safe place to read and set those fantasies loose. I think if we don't let those fantasies loose in our minds every once in a while it makes us crazier.

You're normal.
I like to think I am. Unless it comes to buying shoes............
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Old 01-26-2015, 04:01 PM   #12
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I like to think I am. Unless it comes to buying shoes............
You're probably still normal there too! LOL

The last girlfriend I had had a closet full of shoes! and still needed more.
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Old 01-26-2015, 04:03 PM   #13
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There is no "normal." We're all a bit weird, though some are odder than others.

Care to elaborate on the fantasy? I know I have all kinds of weird daydreams.


Quote:
Originally Posted by southern_gal View Post
Ever had an orgasm and a few minutes later cried because of the fantasy that brought it on? I have. Things just get fuzzy sometimes.
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Old 01-26-2015, 04:04 PM   #14
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I know what you mean, that totally turns you on in the moment but once you cum you don't like them anymore or are not willing to try, and you're like what was that?
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Old 01-26-2015, 05:38 PM   #15
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Originally Posted by southern_gal View Post
Lately my fantasies are getting darker and less normal than usual and perhaps more than I care to admit. Why is this? I like to think I am normal and have a normal sex life but for some reason I seem to masturbate more and more to fantasies that I regret later. Help?
What you described is actually normal. As human beings we are not as evolved and civilized as we like to think. All of us carry dark fantasies in our subconscious. While some of us choose to face our darkest fantasies, others choose to bury their dark side. It is healthy both mentally and emotionally to explore our fantasies as long as we don't blur the line between fantasy and reality. And masturbating to these fantasies is actually healthy, it allows us to explore our thoughts and feelings to a greater depth. What is not healthy is burying our darkest fantasies and denying that we are less than perfect. To deal with these fantasies, you need to admit to yourself that like the rest of us, you are not perfect, that you are human. Our imagination is what makes us human.

Having dark fantasies does not make you a good or bad person, it just means that you have an active subconscious imagination like everyone else. Don't be so hard on yourself.
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Old 01-26-2015, 07:11 PM   #16
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Fantasies and daydreams are a safe way to explore the possibilities and the depth of ourselves in a private, safe avenue. The key difference, though, is recognising what is fantasy and what is reality and knowing that there are some fantasies that should never ever cross into the realm of reality.

However, if you are becoming uncomfortable with your fantasies, then maybe you should ask yourself why. Some fantasies should, in my opinion, make us uncomfortable, because they represent the depth of depravity. Some fantasies stretch our comfort zone and makes us question our very existence. Some fantasies are uncomfortable because we have never entertained that particular thought. And sometimes, some fantasies are the only way one gets off, prohibiting us from forming a relationship. So, in truth, it really depends on where on the discomfort spectrum you lie.

We've all have depraved fantasies. I think if you entertain the fantasy because it's enjoyable to you, it's not the only way you get off and you fully recognise that it should remain firmly as a fantasy, then rock on. Go nuts. However, if you are becoming scared of yourself, or that you fear that this fantasy is no longer enjoyable but still necessary to orgasm, or that you are terrified that you will enact this fantasy in reality (if it's something that should not be), then it may be time to talk to someone to just get a check. It really really depends on you, and what you feel comfortable with.

As Sethp said, not all dark fantasies are bad. But, not all people are equipped with enacting dark fantasies and handle the extreme intensity of it. You only you can decide what you are capable of.

Good luck
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Old 01-26-2015, 07:53 PM   #17
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I really do feel better and thanks to all for that. Can't quote everyone due to space but the comments were helpful and appreciated. I doubt seriously that many (if any) of my extreme fantasies will ever be acted out but goodness knows I think about a few of them a lot more than I used to.
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Old 01-26-2015, 07:59 PM   #18
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Keep it sane and safe and as long as it doesn't freak you out, enjoy them. If you decide to follow thru with some of them, follow the same rules, enjoy and live a little. Life is too short and too stressful not to let that inner you out from time to time.
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Old 01-27-2015, 01:11 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by southern_gal View Post
I really do feel better and thanks to all for that. Can't quote everyone due to space but the comments were helpful and appreciated. I doubt seriously that many (if any) of my extreme fantasies will ever be acted out but goodness knows I think about a few of them a lot more than I used to.
I'm sure that probably 99% of my fantasies will never be acted out or on. Even those considered extreme, or to some taboo others freakish will remain just that, fantasy.
While I may wonder or at times regret that my mind & imagination ventured to such places afterwards,
my time during and the wonderful orgasm(s) that result
I consider well worth any questions later.
There are times when I expect my "me time" to be more of the same mundane action,
and suddenly my mind is back to those naughty, dirty places in my imagination my breath quickens,
moans escape and I am there enjoying my naughty self again.
Have fun enjoy, know yourself and your limits
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Old 01-27-2015, 02:35 PM   #20
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In psychology, there is a significant difference between ideation and actually going through with an act, such as suicide or a fantasy. Just because people have fantasies of killing someone they don't like or of infidelity doesn't mean they will actually do it. It's an important distinction that should give you some comfort.
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Old 01-27-2015, 03:09 PM   #21
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Lately my fantasies are getting darker and less normal than usual and perhaps more than I care to admit. Why is this? I like to think I am normal and have a normal sex life but for some reason I seem to masturbate more and more to fantasies that I regret later. Help?
By nature we tend to seek new things. If you have certain fantasies for a period of time they tend to lose luster and you will find other fantasies.

For example I watch a pretty fair amount of porn and what type of video turns me on at one point will get a little tired and I moved into another type of fetish.

Darker is usually the direction they will go as you seek more taboo ideas to get that thrill.

Its like building an immunity to medicine after awhile you need a stronger fix.

As for normal? Normal is very relative.

Bottom line as long as whatever you are thinking about stays fantasy and you're not hurting anyone, or yourself, don't worry about it.
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Old 01-28-2015, 06:57 PM   #22
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Southern Gal

First off, there is nothing wrong with dark and "perverted" fantasies. After all, they're fantasies. Fantasies allow people to "explore" things they might never do in real life, but could certainly help the masturbation side of life.

I think fantasies, like real kinky sex, tend to get more dark and adventurous as time progresses. Often it takes a greater deal of "taboo" to bring about the same level of arousal that lesser levels once did. It's like certain physical meds or drugs. Sometimes you have to "cycle" them and go off for a bit to let the body come back to a state where they are more sensitive again. I will admit that there have been times when I've watched too much porn and needed kinker and kinker stuff to get my motor running. The best solution is to go off cold turkey for a period of time and then you get back to a more sensitive level.
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Old 01-28-2015, 08:41 PM   #23
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Normal

Southern Gal - You may be more normal than you think...read through this article.
http://www.everydayhealth.com/sexual...fantasies.aspx
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Old 01-28-2015, 08:47 PM   #24
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It's because over time we acclimate and need more down the road...deeper, harder, more intense, more pervy, and so on...
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Old 01-29-2015, 12:10 AM   #25
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Our brains have some weird wiring, and not all of our turn-ons make logical sense. You'll often reach erroneous conclusions if you try to figure out "What does this fantasy say about me?" Our turn-ons often say nothing about our character. As long as you make good judgments in dnstinguishing which fantasies are okay to pursue in real life and which fantasies are best kept as a fantasy, then there isn't a problem.
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