Old 03-30-2013, 07:14 AM   #1376
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I'M SENDING YOU SOME SPRING!!!!! I think you may need a little spring today!
Click on the link. You will get a black page.
Click your mouse anywhere (& everywhere) on the page & see what happens!
Better yet, click (hold down) & drag your mouse over the black page...


http://www*****creo.jp/labo/flower_garden.swf
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Old 03-30-2013, 07:14 AM   #1377
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A gushy reporter told Phil Mickelson, "You are spectacular; your name is synonymous with the game of golf. You really know your way around the course.

What's your secret?"

Mickelson replied, "The holes are numbered."
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Old 03-30-2013, 07:16 AM   #1378
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No idea how this is done - clever programing I guess.



WHEN THE GUY STOPS RUNNING,PLACE YOUR CURSOR JUST ABOVE HIS HEAD.



http://www.selfcontrolfreak.com/pakken.html
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Old 03-31-2013, 07:07 AM   #1379
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How Can Anyone NOT Want Children or Grandchildren?


Could this be the naughtiest little girl ever to meet Santa Claus .
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Old 03-31-2013, 07:09 AM   #1380
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Old 03-31-2013, 07:10 AM   #1381
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A young man and a priest are playing together. At a short par-3 the priest asks, "What are you going to use on this hole, my son?"

The young man says, "An 8-iron, father. How about you?"
The priest says, "I'm going to hit a soft seven and pray."

The young man hits his 8-iron and puts the ball on the green.
The priest tops his 7-iron and dribbles the ball out a few yards.

The young man says, "I don't know about you, father, but in my church, when we pray, we keep our head down."
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Old 03-31-2013, 07:32 AM   #1382
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BusyAfternoon View Post
How Can Anyone NOT Want Children or Grandchildren?


Could this be the naughtiest little girl ever to meet Santa Claus .
Obviously, the Evil Twin showing her colors early.
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(Now if I could just figure out which questions they go to. )
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Old 03-31-2013, 10:09 AM   #1383
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Magician, Comedian, and Actor Michael Carbonaro is the Magic Clerk who amazes some customers when he shows them how the Insta-Chick works. Just add a little water and you'll have a cute baby chick just in time for Easter.

http://www.youtube.com/embed/cTbfkQo...layer_embedded
Magic Clerk - Easter Edition: The Tonight Show with Jay Leno
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Old 04-01-2013, 04:19 AM   #1384
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Did you know the average male's penis is 6 inches long, and the average female's vagina is 8 inches deep...? So in New York City alone there is over 2 miles of unused pussy...!
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Old 04-01-2013, 04:19 AM   #1385
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WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.

An earlier discussion had led to an argument and

neither of them wanted to concede their position.

As they
passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,

the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'

'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'
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Old 04-01-2013, 04:20 AM   #1386
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WORDS

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...

30,000 to a man's 15,000.

The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to
repeat everything to men....

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?'
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Old 04-01-2013, 01:52 PM   #1387
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Some good ones especially early on keep them coming please xx
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Old 04-01-2013, 05:33 PM   #1388
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BusyAfternoon View Post
How Can Anyone NOT Want Children or Grandchildren?


Could this be the naughtiest little girl ever to meet Santa Claus .
The one on the right is thinking, "SSSweeeeet!!!! I'm gettin' a double haul of shit this year!!"
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Old 04-02-2013, 06:15 AM   #1389
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Spending most of February in Florida has helped round my game into shape. Just need to smooth out the edges.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature...&v=6FMyblJkLSM
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Old 04-02-2013, 06:17 AM   #1390
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CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be

so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.

'The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain.

God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;

God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you !
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Old 04-02-2013, 06:18 AM   #1391
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Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody 3-iron standing over a lifeless man.

The detective asks, "Ma'am, is that your husband?"

"Yes" says the woman.

"Did you hit him with that golf club?" "Yes, yes, I did."
The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her hands on her face.
"How many times did you hit him?"
"I don't know -- put me down for a five."
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Old 04-03-2013, 06:43 AM   #1392
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Jack Daniel's Fishing Story

I went fishing this morning, but after a short time I ran out of worms.

Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in its mouth. Frogs are good bass bait.

Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in its mouth, I grabbed it right behind the head, took the frog, and put it in my bait bucket.

Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit. So, I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniel's and poured a little whiskey in its mouth. Its eyes rolled back, and it went limp. I released the snake into the lake without incident and carried on fishing, using the frog.

Not long after, I felt a nudge on my foot. It was that darn snake...with two more frogs.

Life is good in the South.
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Old 04-03-2013, 06:44 AM   #1393
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Here is a video of the greatest play ever in baseball.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQLlE...=player_embedd
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Old 04-04-2013, 07:02 AM   #1394
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Old 04-04-2013, 12:02 PM   #1395
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my recent three funny tweets

https://twitter.com/India_Unearth/st...65321295093760


https://twitter.com/India_Unearth/st...56844952297474


https://twitter.com/India_Unearth/st...23898807996416
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Old 04-05-2013, 06:23 AM   #1396
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Hamburger illusion

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujaMv...yer_detailpage
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Old 04-05-2013, 06:24 AM   #1397
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CIRCUMCISED
For all of you in education, with sons, grandsons, or who
just love the things little kids say ~ a reminder that adult words are
often taken literally.....


A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back
of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying
attention.
She went back to find out what was going on.
He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been
circumcised and he was quite itchy.
The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office.
He was told to telephone his mother and ask her what he should do about it.
He did and returned to his class.
Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room.
She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with
his 'private part' hanging out.
'I thought I told you to call your mum!' she said.
'I did,' he said, 'And she told me that
if I could stick it out until lunchtime, she'd come and pick me up from
school.
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Old 04-06-2013, 07:13 AM   #1398
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The Sensuous Wife:



“Have you ever seen a twenty dollar bill all crumpled up?” asked the wife.




“No,” said he husband.




She gave him a sexy little smile, slowly reached into her cleavage and pulled out a crumpled twenty dollar bill.




“Have you ever seen a fifty all crumpled up?” she asked.




“Uh, no,” he said.




She gave him another sexy little smile, seductively reached into her panties and pulled out a crumpled fifty dollar bill.




“Now,” she said, “Have you ever seen 40,000 dollars all crumpled up?”




“No,” he said, now really intrigued.




“Well, go look in the garage...”
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Old 04-06-2013, 07:14 AM   #1399
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A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were robbing a supermarket when a police officer walked in the store. The three women decide to hide in three potato sacks. The cop kicks the first bag, and the brunette says, "meow", the cop says, "oh, its only a cat" He kicks the second bag, and the redhead says, "woof, woof." The cop says, "its only a dog." He kicks the third bag, and the blonde says, "potato."
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Old 04-07-2013, 06:01 AM   #1400
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Observation Test

Colgate has created a very ingenious advertising campaign to promote their dental floss and promote cleaner teeth, but before I explain to you the main detail of these images, I will let you appreciate them quietly.





http://dribblingpensioner.files.word...pg?w=500&h=329

Alright, now that you had time to quietly observe the images, did you not see the deliberate mistakes.

In the first one you will now notice that she has one finger too many in her hand, in the second one a phantom arm is floating there, and in the third one the man has only one ear…

The campaign attained its purpose, because it proved that food remains on your teeth draw more attention than any physical defect.
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