Old 05-14-2016, 10:37 AM   #1
lance_c43
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Newest Offering

Pencil and Red Conte Called Orgasm
Please feel free to critique Thanks Loves all the comments

Another new Pencil Favorite Position
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File Type: jpg Orgasm2.jpg (106.5 KB, 0 views)
File Type: jpg Alice Having Sex2.jpg (57.3 KB, 0 views)

Last edited by lance_c43 : 05-19-2016 at 09:32 PM. Reason: Another Pencil
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Old 05-14-2016, 12:03 PM   #2
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my 2
Considering your medium and source material and what appears to be desire to make a relatively accurate recreation I'd suggest avoiding the hard "holding" lines. Sketch them in as guides, perhaps, but pencil and conte can be used in a way to define edges with value rather than line.

Beyond that, I'd say well done.

And hopefully more pieces where you bring more of you and your imagination to play. Even with a photo reference, one can add a story or context and sometimes a technique which make the piece unique and maybe more exciting or interesting than the original.
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Old 05-14-2016, 01:13 PM   #3
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The bridge of the nose looks too wide and makes the nose look misshapen. It's odd that on the pillow you use soft edges, shadow and light to define shapes, but then use a hardline to define the jaw, mouth and hairline. It almost looks like if you hadn't added the hardline lip definition, the lips would have been very clearly defined. The hardline lip line also seems to change the orientation of the mouth to the face. Whereas if you didn't add that, then the color/shading would orient the lips to the face better. There is something about the shadow of the Suprasternal notch that really makes it look like she has a rent opened up there. This draws my sight over to her (viewed) right shoulder which looks entirely too square. It seems like you focused more on the face and the pillow and rough sketched the rest in.

I would personally like to see more definition in the hair instead of just a dark blob (though this could be a byproduct of my having a bad computer screen), and while I'm at it I'd like to see her in a deeper orgasm instead of a slight exhale "uhhhh" orgasm. This could be best expressed with her eyes pinched a little more >.< but that's just my own tastes and isn't a negative against your work.

You also seem to have disagreeing shading; her Suprasternal notch, jaw and generally left (viewed) side of her face is more in shadow which means the light source is to the right (viewed), yet wrinkles in the pillow/sheet/whatever above her head seem to indicate the light source is to the left (viewed). shininess of the pillow/sheet/whatever to her left and right agree with the light source being to the left (viewed). As such, if the light source is in fact to the right then I'd expect her left (viewed) ear to be in greater shadow. The tones inside her mouth likewise, would seem to indicate the light source is to the left.

Which brings up her teeth. In either case of the light source being on the left or right, a greater amount of shadow at the top of her teeth would better suggest better orientation to her face. They look to be chiseled in toward her mouth instead of being inline.

I like the softline detail of the pillow/sheet/whatever on the right and above her head. Her nostrils are superb and her eyes are pretty good. The choice of color defines the warmth of the moment. The shading of her neck looks to be flawless between her sternocleidomastoid muscles.

If it's any consolation this is pretty much better than anything I can produce at the moment...
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Old 05-14-2016, 01:22 PM   #4
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...are you seriously going to open a new thread for every new submitted work??? Why not keep it all together so that people can view a progression of your work at a glance and all at once instead of having them open each and every thread, which most people would likely stop after opening up two threads...

Just sayin'
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Old 05-15-2016, 08:33 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lance_c43 View Post
...
Please feel free to critique Thanks Loves all the comments
Sorry you "Asked"? (offered).
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Old 05-16-2016, 10:44 AM   #6
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Sorry you "Asked"? (offered).
Was it something I said? Was this one of those thinly veiled "let the glad-handing commence!" requests?
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Old 05-16-2016, 11:45 AM   #7
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Was it something I said? Was this one of those thinly veiled "let the glad-handing commence!" requests?
Well.... Lance offered...HOWEVER, I'm not sure what he was expecting or hoping for... He got a couple OLD... WINDY...DUDES... CRITIQUING..

jack pot!!!

We shall see, when he checks in. Lance is not a frequent poster.
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Old 05-16-2016, 02:21 PM   #8
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Wonderful.

A wonderful piece of artwork, thank you for sharing it.
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Old 05-16-2016, 05:19 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by THROBBS View Post
Well.... Lance offered...HOWEVER, I'm not sure what he was expecting or hoping for... He got a couple OLD... WINDY...DUDES... CRITIQUING..

jack pot!!!

We shall see, when he checks in. Lance is not a frequent poster.
Who you calling old, wrinkled nuts?
...Gosh I could use a nap... okay, so maybe I'm old, but a younger half century plus old person, you will not find!

Well, I know he saw my critique 'cause he signed out about ten minutes later.
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Last edited by LWulf : 05-16-2016 at 05:22 PM.
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Old 05-17-2016, 10:48 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by LWulf View Post
...are you seriously going to open a new thread for every new submitted work??? Why not keep it all together so that people can view a progression of your work at a glance and all at once instead of having them open each and every thread, which most people would likely stop after opening up two threads...

Just sayin'
thanks always open to constructive criticisms was sure how to post new image to original post so it does not appear at end but as first post ... my mistake will figre it out
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Old 05-18-2016, 08:44 AM   #11
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thanks always open to constructive criticisms was sure how to post new image to original post so it does not appear at end but as first post ... my mistake will figre it out
You would have to edit your first post, for it to be in the first post.
It is all linear, time-wise most recent posts are last.
I think most folk know that, and expect that.

Folk who have already looked at your thread are less likelyto go BACK to the first post.

IF, you end up with pages of images, you can create an index with hot links of dates and/or descriptors.
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Old 05-18-2016, 10:15 AM   #12
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thanks always open to constructive criticisms was sure how to post new image to original post so it does not appear at end but as first post ... my mistake will figre it out
Some people even bypass all the blah-blah-blah and just click the paperclip on the thread lists to see any images posted to that particular thread.
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Old 05-18-2016, 01:22 PM   #13
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Some people even bypass all the blah-blah-blah and just click the paperclip on the thread lists to see any images posted to that particular thread.
Good tip, LWulf!
The down side of it... as a regular thing, is missing all the Blah blah...

unfortunately/fortunately the more who utilize that there will be less feedback, critique etc... (blah blah blah)
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Old 05-18-2016, 03:20 PM   #14
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Good tip, LWulf!
The down side of it... as a regular thing, is missing all the Blah blah...
...
This is a downside???
...ooooh! for the artist? maybe, I guess so.
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Old 05-18-2016, 03:33 PM   #15
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This is a downside???
...ooooh! for the artist? maybe, I guess so.
Yup.

I suppose for most, your commentary (and mine) becomes cumbersome, at best.
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Old 05-18-2016, 03:50 PM   #16
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Yup.

I suppose for most, your commentary (and mine) becomes cumbersome, at best.
*raises hand* I get tired of seeing me talk ALLLLL the time, so you can imagine how I see others...
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Old 05-19-2016, 09:35 PM   #17
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Another offering for oyur Critique

Quote:
Originally Posted by lance_c43 View Post
Pencil and Red Conte Called Orgasm
Please feel free to critique Thanks Loves all the comments

Another new Pencil Favorite Position
pencil
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Old 05-20-2016, 09:17 AM   #18
THROBBS
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lance_c43 View Post
pencil
I'm not so sure how well your method works...
At least for me, and my method of watching threads.

I look at the latest post, and yours has no new image (since you added it to your first post). At first, I though, "hmmm, Lance forgot his image"

This works alright for folk who are first timers to your thread.


BTW you are limited to 5 Uploads per each post. Which is not the same as a link to an image hosted elsewhere.
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