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Old 01-18-2011, 04:01 PM   #176
hottalyssa
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hi ladies. take bored's advice, by all means . trust me, if i had been honest with hubby(ex) i might still be married and my son would have a father. men sre definitely a fragile bunch. they think only they can please us. few of them understand our need for a womans touch.....mine sure didnt.




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my advice is to ease into it if / when you do. Their ego can be fragile you know. Some ladies have talked about their husbands being all for it but mine is gonna take some time to get comfortable with it.
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Old 01-18-2011, 10:30 PM   #177
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Old 01-19-2011, 12:06 AM   #178
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Hope you make it back again soon, sapphic!
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Old 01-20-2011, 03:52 AM   #179
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I may like women but I am totally monogamous. I find other outlets for my desires. After all, are any of us completely satisfied with one person? I think everyone fancies the hotty in the street but monogamy is just a choice not to sex them up. Bisexuality is not an excuse for infidelity, an explaination, but not an excuse. We still only get to have one at a time (except in special situations where this has been prearranged).
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Old 01-20-2011, 07:57 AM   #180
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I may like women but I am totally monogamous. I find other outlets for my desires. After all, are any of us completely satisfied with one person? I think everyone fancies the hotty in the street but monogamy is just a choice not to sex them up. Bisexuality is not an excuse for infidelity, an explaination, but not an excuse. We still only get to have one at a time (except in special situations where this has been prearranged).
Agreed!
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Old 01-20-2011, 08:02 AM   #181
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if your single, screw everything that moves, that's my policy. You know what that say about bisexuality? It doubles you chances of getting a date...
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Old 01-23-2011, 04:37 AM   #182
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Life isn'r always that simple

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I may like women but I am totally monogamous. I find other outlets for my desires. After all, are any of us completely satisfied with one person? I think everyone fancies the hotty in the street but monogamy is just a choice not to sex them up. Bisexuality is not an excuse for infidelity, an explaination, but not an excuse. We still only get to have one at a time (except in special situations where this has been prearranged).
The operative word in your post is "I"- monogamy is a choice you have made for yourself. What i find problematic is the application you make to other people. You may be right, but you are either making a moral argument (which I reject because you haven't provided any basis for your moral judgment) or you are saying something about the human condition, which is also unsubstantiated.

Why do i offer these thoughts? Not because I'm doing my ph.D in philosophy (I am) and I like to debate but because I'm growing up and meeting people and I find that there are human conditions, not a single condition. There is a very real danger of your observation devolving into judging other people and you simply cannot do that, at least not on this site where we realize that everyone does not have the same needs as everyone else.

I have met women who feel the need for other women so profoundly that they cannot be happy without its fulfillment. For them, it isn't like a craving for chocolate. It's something deep and profound. And sometimes they find a modus vivendi in which they can guarantee their male partners the stability they both need while enjoying the intimacy with a woman that they need as well.

So I may in the end decide that your choice of monogamy is the right choice for me but I will use the words "for me" and not impose that choice on others until and unless I have something more than a general observation about dissatisfaction.

Sorry to lecture you but I found your post unintentionally offensive.

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Old 01-23-2011, 05:50 AM   #183
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I totally agree with the above statement. Its not something I would have expected to see on this board, a lecture on the merits or otherwise of being bisexual. Everyone is different, i think the key issue here is honesty. Speaking for myself, i know that if i ever engage in a relationshp with a man again, i will tell him there will be times when i need to be with a woman, thats just part of my make up, just as, if im with a woman in a loving relationship, i doubt the need will be their to be with a man. Sexual jealousy i find is one of the most corrosive emotions.
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Old 01-23-2011, 12:08 PM   #184
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If I could write words that I feel ( I can't ) they could never come out as well as 2wet4words put it. I have been married for quite some time but sadly didnt tell my husband before we married about the women I had been with prior. I have kept it to myself and yes strayed outside my marriage and it is difficult to say the least. I am neither proud of what I have done nor am I ready to swear that it will not happen again. I am also sick of being judged for having feelings that are almost all consuming at times. I have in fact opened up to my husband and thankfully we are on a good road to him understanding me and me being with him exclusively. I have met a woman on Lit that has turned me upside down however and given the opportunity I think I just might kiss her until she turns blue. I do enjoy this forum so much because of the wonderful ladies that are on it. Hopefully we will at least agree that we can support each other in our endeavors.
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Old 01-25-2011, 06:54 PM   #185
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This is exactly what I mean

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Originally Posted by boredVAwife View Post
If I could write words that I feel ( I can't ) they could never come out as well as 2wet4words put it. I have been married for quite some time but sadly didnt tell my husband before we married about the women I had been with prior. I have kept it to myself and yes strayed outside my marriage and it is difficult to say the least. I am neither proud of what I have done nor am I ready to swear that it will not happen again. I am also sick of being judged for having feelings that are almost all consuming at times. I have in fact opened up to my husband and thankfully we are on a good road to him understanding me and me being with him exclusively. I have met a woman on Lit that has turned me upside down however and given the opportunity I think I just might kiss her until she turns blue. I do enjoy this forum so much because of the wonderful ladies that are on it. Hopefully we will at least agree that we can support each other in our endeavors.
While a lot of Freud's work has been discredited, this thread (and others) provides testimony to the fact that repressing one's desires can cause deep unhappiness. This does not mean we can justify indulging every intention that occurs to us during the course of our erotic lives. If I had to guess, though, both partners in a heterosexual relationship can sometimes benefit from sharing their deepest needs. It isn't the act of being with another woman that hurts, in some cases. It's the betrayal through dishonestly and sneaking around.

I have recently become engaged to my guy for the second time (I chickened out the first time when he took too much control). The company of intelligent women on Lit and the opportunity to interact with them is therapeutic for me. I used this thread to work out some of my own issues. Interactions on this site with older married women who had chosen not to confront their own secret desires prompted this thread and the conclusion I am reaching is that I must share my need for intimacy with women with my fiance in the interest of honesty and our own healthy relationship. I love him desperately but I need to lie in bed every once in a while with another woman and talk intimately and, yes, touch and caress. Repressing this hurts me; sneaking around hurts both of us. It has nothing to do with social convention and misplaced notions of sexual morality. It has to do with balancing my need to be true to myself and true to him.

I very much appreciated this post. Thank you.
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Old 01-25-2011, 11:39 PM   #186
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sounds as if you know what you want and need.be true to your man,and yourself. i wish you all the best.and if you ever wanna chat, pm me.

kisses,alyssa


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Originally Posted by 2wet4words View Post
While a lot of Freud's work has been discredited, this thread (and others) provides testimony to the fact that repressing one's desires can cause deep unhappiness. This does not mean we can justify indulging every intention that occurs to us during the course of our erotic lives. If I had to guess, though, both partners in a heterosexual relationship can sometimes benefit from sharing their deepest needs. It isn't the act of being with another woman that hurts, in some cases. It's the betrayal through dishonestly and sneaking around.

I have recently become engaged to my guy for the second time (I chickened out the first time when he took too much control). The company of intelligent women on Lit and the opportunity to interact with them is therapeutic for me. I used this thread to work out some of my own issues. Interactions on this site with older married women who had chosen not to confront their own secret desires prompted this thread and the conclusion I am reaching is that I must share my need for intimacy with women with my fiance in the interest of honesty and our own healthy relationship. I love him desperately but I need to lie in bed every once in a while with another woman and talk intimately and, yes, touch and caress. Repressing this hurts me; sneaking around hurts both of us. It has nothing to do with social convention and misplaced notions of sexual morality. It has to do with balancing my need to be true to myself and true to him.

I very much appreciated this post. Thank you.
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Old 01-26-2011, 12:20 AM   #187
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I am 51, married, a bbw, and have had a life-long desire for women. I love to meet and play with women online, and have decided to draw the line there -- am I kidding myself that I can do this and still consider myself monogamous? In any event, I have been chatting with women online for years, and can't imagine giving it up. I would be happy to meet more same-age (ish) women through this thread and explore our desires.
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Old 01-26-2011, 01:37 AM   #188
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Not married..but I wouldn't care if someone was as long as 3somes weren't expected.
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Old 01-26-2011, 09:56 AM   #189
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I am the opposite actually, I have been trying to get my husband to join me in a FMF to introduce him to my bi side but so far he has been somewhat reluctant.
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Old 01-27-2011, 07:20 AM   #190
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2wet4words View Post
The operative word in your post is "I"- monogamy is a choice you have made for yourself. What i find problematic is the application you make to other people. You may be right, but you are either making a moral argument (which I reject because you haven't provided any basis for your moral judgment) or you are saying something about the human condition, which is also unsubstantiated.

Why do i offer these thoughts? Not because I'm doing my ph.D in philosophy (I am) and I like to debate but because I'm growing up and meeting people and I find that there are human conditions, not a single condition. There is a very real danger of your observation devolving into judging other people and you simply cannot do that, at least not on this site where we realize that everyone does not have the same needs as everyone else.

I have met women who feel the need for other women so profoundly that they cannot be happy without its fulfillment. For them, it isn't like a craving for chocolate. It's something deep and profound. And sometimes they find a modus vivendi in which they can guarantee their male partners the stability they both need while enjoying the intimacy with a woman that they need as well.

So I may in the end decide that your choice of monogamy is the right choice for me but I will use the words "for me" and not impose that choice on others until and unless I have something more than a general observation about dissatisfaction.

Sorry to lecture you but I found your post unintentionally offensive.
I understand where you are going and fair enough, but I have a counter position. However I expect other adults not to substitute my judgement for their own when I speak as I expect you do. I also expect that they are intelligent enough to realise what I am saying is an opinion, not a proclaimation from on high.

If you cannot be faithful, be honest and get a divorce. don't make some else suffer for your failings. That's just weak and cruel. This is not the 1950s. There are options.

In philosophy we were taught the best reason for ethical behaviour is because you want to be a decent person. You cannot be a decent person if you deliberately set out to do something which will injure another.. I don't think the chronically unfaithful are ethical, I am sorry if you don't agree. Infidelity tends to lead lying and it is everyone's best interest for individuals not to lie. As a Phd in philsophy, I should not have to point this out to you. Frankly for one so critical of people jumping to judgement, you seemed happy to do so quickly and without even considering that I might have thought about this.

Furthermore, this kind of chronically unfaithful behaviour in bisexuals is shooting us all in the foot. This is why we are frequently not trusted by both straight and gay people. They fear we will cheat and in supporting the position you are, you are encouraging this perception.
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Old 01-27-2011, 10:39 AM   #191
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My two cents on the matter is that doing something your mate is unaware of that will hurt them when they discover the truth (and they always do eventually) isn't fair to them. It is better to deal with the immediate surprise and shock of a new revelation in the relationship, i.e. one of you discovering that you have bisexual feelings, than for a spouse to discover months or years later that their partner has been cheating. Is there risk of them being sensitive, hurt, confused or angry when you tell them how you feel? Absolutely. Is it possible that they might say that they expect a 100% monogamous relationship, and that if you explore sex with others that they will leave the marriage? Yes. But those risks are heightened, and almost certain, if they find out after the fact.

I am all for having multiple sexual partners, even while married, as long as all parties involved agree to it and decide that their relationship is strong enough to withstand the feelings of jealousy and emotional attachment to others that open relationships inevitably bring. I feel that denying one's partner the opportunity to explore sexuality with you as you grow and discover new things cheapens the bond that is shared between a husband and wife (or wife and wife, or husband and husband).

I'd also like to add that even supremely good people can find themselves wanting or involved in extramarital affairs given enough motive, opportunity and temptation. I'm not wagging my finger at the "wicked", just sharing my opinion on the general topic of marriage and sexual exploration.
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Old 01-27-2011, 01:15 PM   #192
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Edit. Apologies to the OP. This thread was about women who fantasize about girls and not the place for me to get on a soapbox.

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Old 01-27-2011, 03:20 PM   #193
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Good stuff here but you miss the point

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I expect other adults not to substitute my judgement for their own when I speak as I expect you do. I also expect that they are intelligent enough to realise what I am saying is an opinion, not a proclaimation from on high.

If you cannot be faithful, be honest and get a divorce. don't make some else suffer for your failings. That's just weak and cruel. This is not the 1950s. There are options.

In philosophy we were taught the best reason for ethical behaviour is because you want to be a decent person.

.

You make a good point when you say you don't want to pontificate. Then in the next paragraph you pontificate.

My major point is simply this: human situations are full of grays, not blacks and whites. To generalize with a moral observation is out of place on this thread and probably on this website. But that, again, is MY opinion.

One thing I would suggest, respectfully. You should really stick to commonsensical observations because you have a lot to say. Your one sentence negation of centuries of moral philosophy into a folk aphorism is laughable, though. Why lecture me on philosophy when your common sense is well grounded? I got a chuckle out of your representation of the essence of good. Sounds more like Poor Richard's Almanac than Kant.

All this is written respectfully and with good humor. My mention of my studies was intended to be self-deprecating. I'm glad you picked up on that deprecated me even more! I need to be humble. I leave you to your posts and won't bother with Lit anymore.
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Old 01-27-2011, 06:32 PM   #194
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I think it possible that if someone "needs" to be with another woman and also be married to a man then they should find a man willing to accept that,

I think that in todays world it is not this impossible situation that could never be.

For those that are married and have found a growing interest and are with someone who could not accept it..

that could be difficult I would think.

I have always thought why the fuck have the cake if you cant eat it too?

pie would be better..
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Old 01-27-2011, 07:06 PM   #195
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Speaking of pie...

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Old 02-02-2011, 07:51 PM   #196
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hey!

Hey ladies! How is everyone this evenin?
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Old 02-06-2011, 05:24 PM   #197
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well on THIS particular evening I am not well. I was informed that a herd of my husbands friends are showing up shortly to watch the SB here. Funny how he "forgot" to mention this to me. Nothing like a gang of loud rowdy man/boys tearing the hell out of my house, destroying the kitchen, eating everything that is in sight and generally ruining my day to make me smile.......ok rant over
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Old 02-13-2011, 11:13 PM   #198
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oh no

Sorry to hear your house was trashed for the sb! Lucky I got mine out of the house!! I have hosted the sb before and it took awhile to get the man/boy mess cleaned up!

Visited this thread tonight not only bc I haven't been on much this week but also bc I am a married woman fantasizing like crazy tonight...all alone in my king size bed! Wishing that I had a girl (woman) in here with me to do all the things mind can think up! Ahhh memories...and wishes!

Everyone have a wonderful Valentines day!
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Old 02-14-2011, 11:45 AM   #199
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Baby you should NOT be alone in that kingsize bed.

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Old 02-15-2011, 08:54 AM   #200
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Next time give me a call, we can share that king size bed.
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