polyamorous relationship, a question for the ladies...

[2TryAnything]

I think (as the number of posts in this thread would seem to indicate) that there are a great many women and men who would consider doing this ... and have done so. I and my wife among them. But, my take on "polyamory" is different than what is being described here. As I understand it, polyamory is a committed, loving, and, hopefully, long-term relationship among multiple partners. Two husbands and a wife to use the OP's example.

That would be a very different dynamic than simply a husband who encourages his wife to explore sexually and see other men - that's more of an "open marriage". Each has its potential benefits and draw backs. But from a strictly sexual standpoint, the idea of a woman having multiple male partners is much more accepted and sought after than we might tend to think.

Ok...just my 2 cents.

[gypseywolf]

Where do I sign up? I have a large appetite and find one male is rarely able to keep up with mw for long. But I am also bisexual, so I would want to be poly with both male and female partners.

[2TryAnything]

Originally Posted by gypseywolf

Where do I sign up? I have a large appetite and find one male is rarely able to keep up with mw for long. But I am also bisexual, so I would want to be poly with both male and female partners.

Oh Myyyyy!!

[DarkLisa]

Originally Posted by PaulBG

Another man chiming in here, though I realize the question is for women. Still, do know that there are men out here who love exploring this and are not interested in being doormats, wearing silly costumes, being called names, or any of the stereotypical images or practices some link with this. I love the idea of a woman, particularly a formerly reserved one, really learning to grasp her sexuality, to ask for more, to want to push boundaries in a healthy way, including taking another lover or bringing a third into our bed. I love exploring, reliving, sharing, fantasizing, discussing and more with those open, articulate females either experienced or truly curious about being watched, shared, or simply taking another man. Very, very enticing.....

Wow, I am that woman. Just had a talk with my spouse the other day about whether he could handle this type of relationship, and he cannot. I wish he thought like you!!!

[Mzelement]

Originally Posted by MrRetro

I'm wanting to know if there are women out there that would consider have a one way polyamorous relationship...

That is, you have sex with other men inside of a loving relationship... This is not cheating, rather, honesty and open communication allow you the freedom to take a lover as you please...

The expectation is that the man in the relationship is permitted to have sex only with the woman... He takes his pleasure from hers...

Is this something that is appealing to any women...?

I mean as long as my primary relationship is stable, then everything else is an enhancement? So absofuckinglutely I would love it. And if he got off on hearing all the details or watching even better.

[sbaudot]

As the daughter of a similar relationship I can tell you it take a lot of work. My biological mother couldn't handled it even though she was the other woman. Right after I was born she disappeared. My parents continued their multi-partner relationship for several years after I was born. They only stopped after momma got sick.

I make sure all my partners know they aren't exclusive and I don't expect them to be. Nobody has complained yet :-)

[PaulBG]

I would be more than up for a chat on this engaging, erotic topic tonight if anyone is interested....I'm very into women, particularly those who are formerly reserved, really developing sexually into this experience or desire. I'm game for honest, open, erotic exploration of this intriguing topic and experience.....

[Pj2424143]

I like this thread, let's keep it alive ladies

[gypseywolf]

I like to be quiet and nice and reserved in public, but at home or in private I can be very unladylike in my sexual behaviors....I won't argue in public or anything like that...I don't even cuss in public..lol and rarely cuss at home... So when those behaviors it is usually passion driven..

[PaulBG]

bump to the ladies....

[DallasDonna]

I'm not married, but have a long term BF that accepts my need for the occasional outside interest.


Most of the time it is another female, but there has been a male recently.


That one (the male) has been a bit tougher on him to accept, and we are still making adjustments to our arrangement as we go...

[MrRetro]

Originally Posted by DallasDonna

I'm not married, but have a long term BF that accepts my need for the occasional outside interest.


Most of the time it is another female, but there has been a male recently.


That one (the male) has been a bit tougher on him to accept, and we are still making adjustments to our arrangement as we go...

Well that sounds like a beautiful arrangement, you're obviously a very well suited couple...

[GILF_69]

My husband and I had the chance to live this for several months last year and it is definitely something I would do again. I wouldn't be into a bunch of random guys, and neither would he, but one or two special friends would be awesome. Because the guy we were with was already a friend, we had a great time and an emotional connection even when there was no sex involved - but the sex was incredibly hot and a major turn-on for both of us. You can count me as one woman who would be happy to accommodate my husband and another man or two - or another woman, although my fantasies lately tend to run in the several men at once category. I can personally attest to how hot and erotic it is to have several men seeing to your desires at the same time.

[DallasDonna]

Originally Posted by GILF_69

My husband and I had the chance to live this for several months last year and it is definitely something I would do again. I wouldn't be into a bunch of random guys, and neither would he, but one or two special friends would be awesome. Because the guy we were with was already a friend, we had a great time and an emotional connection even when there was no sex involved - but the sex was incredibly hot and a major turn-on for both of us. You can count me as one woman who would be happy to accommodate my husband and another man or two - or another woman, although my fantasies lately tend to run in the several men at once category. I can personally attest to how hot and erotic it is to have several men seeing to your desires at the same time.

Did your husband and the second man also have a relationship?

[GILF_69]

Originally Posted by DallasDonna

Did your husband and the second man also have a relationship?

No, although they had known each other since grade school. By the same token, my husband is not squeamish about balls rubbing, if it comes to that.

[MrRetro]

Originally Posted by GILF_69

My husband and I had the chance to live this for several months last year and it is definitely something I would do again. I wouldn't be into a bunch of random guys, and neither would he, but one or two special friends would be awesome. Because the guy we were with was already a friend, we had a great time and an emotional connection even when there was no sex involved - but the sex was incredibly hot and a major turn-on for both of us. You can count me as one woman who would be happy to accommodate my husband and another man or two - or another woman, although my fantasies lately tend to run in the several men at once category. I can personally attest to how hot and erotic it is to have several men seeing to your desires at the same time.

That sounds perfect...

[englishgent73]

My wife and I have just entered a polyamorous phase of our marriage. Our stance is that we're both allowed to date and love outside of our core relationship without ever damaging our own love for each other.

My wife's been the first to find a secondary partner and is the happiest she's been for a long time. It's completely rejuvenated her sex drive and our lovemaking has increased both in terms of frequency and adventurousness!

We went through a bit of an emotional roller coaster coming to this arrangement but it fits well with our beliefs on society.

We're not into hippy style free love, swinging or anything extreme. We just both enjoy loving other people as well as each other. It's made us stronger and our only regret is that we never talked to each other about this stuff earlier.

[spoiledchrissy7]

Originally Posted by englishgent73

My wife and I have just entered a polyamorous phase of our marriage. Our stance is that we're both allowed to date and love outside of our core relationship without ever damaging our own love for each other.

My wife's been the first to find a secondary partner and is the happiest she's been for a long time. It's completely rejuvenated her sex drive and our lovemaking has increased both in terms of frequency and adventurousness!

We went through a bit of an emotional roller coaster coming to this arrangement but it fits well with our beliefs on society.

We're not into hippy style free love, swinging or anything extreme. We just both enjoy loving other people as well as each other. It's made us stronger and our only regret is that we never talked to each other about this stuff earlier.

This is very encouraging to read. My husband and I have had many discussions on this topic. He knows that I don't believe that monogamy is really feasible. On the other hand I also believe dishonesty is deplorable. I would love to have more of an open relationship where we talk more openly. At this point though he doesn't see this as something he would like but we have come a long way from me being totally crazy for having these thoughts. So maybe there is hope for the future! Whats ironic is he sees phone play and online as an extension of porn so has no issues with it.

[MrRetro]

Originally Posted by spoiledchrissy7

This is very encouraging to read. My husband and I have had many discussions on this topic. He knows that I don't believe that monogamy is really feasible. On the other hand I also believe dishonesty is deplorable. I would love to have more of an open relationship where we talk more openly. At this point though he doesn't see this as something he would like but we have come a long way from me being totally crazy for having these thoughts. So maybe there is hope for the future! Whats ironic is he sees phone play and online as an extension of porn so has no issues with it.

I agree, dishonesty will make this arrangement unworkable for me...

It's great to see so many women are interested in this...

[TruGentMuldun]

I have seen the whole "Sister Wives" tv show and many other things. this is a discussion about pretty much the same thing in the opposite direction right. So what if it was set up as multiple husbands with multiple wives, anywhere from say 2 couples to 6 (so everyone has a day off per week)?

[Domesticity]

Originally Posted by MrRetro

I'm wanting to know if there are women out there that would consider have a one way polyamorous relationship...

That is, you have sex with other men inside of a loving relationship... This is not cheating, rather, honesty and open communication allow you the freedom to take a lover as you please...

The expectation is that the man in the relationship is permitted to have sex only with the woman... He takes his pleasure from hers...

Is this something that is appealing to any women...?

Yep. I don't want my husband to participate or be a cuckold in th sense that he gets off watching. I just have a much higher sex drive than he does. I've often said polyamory appeals to me if I'm the only one with another partner. I'm too jealous to share. Selfish, I am.

[MrRetro]

Originally Posted by Domesticity

Yep. I don't want my husband to participate or be a cuckold in th sense that he gets off watching. I just have a much higher sex drive than he does. I've often said polyamory appeals to me if I'm the only one with another partner. I'm too jealous to share. Selfish, I am.

Yes, but it's your drive and your desire that is so sexy... I agree, the cuckold arena seems to appease the men in the relationship, not really the women...

I don't mind a selfish woman at all, just one that wishes to act on her desires...

[2TryAnything]

Originally Posted by MrRetro

I agree, the cuckold arena seems to appease the men in the relationship, not really the women...

I think it all depends on how you approach cuckolding. I, for example, am not at all into the humiliation aspects of it and I don't need to find my wife a "bull" to satisfy her. But, I do get off on seeing her in the throes of pleasure and if being with another man, or men, can increase her enjoyment, I'm all for it. Ideally, though, I would want to watch or participate because then my pleasure is enhanced as well as hers - so everybody wins!

[MrRetro]

Originally Posted by 2TryAnything

I think it all depends on how you approach cuckolding. I, for example, am not at all into the humiliation aspects of it and I don't need to find my wife a "bull" to satisfy her. But, I do get off on seeing her in the throes of pleasure and if being with another man, or men, can increase her enjoyment, I'm all for it. Ideally, though, I would want to watch or participate because then my pleasure is enhanced as well as hers - so everybody wins!

I totally agree from the cuckolding perspective, I don't 'get' the humiliation aspect or the idea of finding a 'bull'... In fact I find it all a little derogatory and scripted... The way a typical cuckolding relationship is depicted shows a dominant woman that is sexually selfish and rude, and whilst I appreciate a sexually selfish woman, I don't like rudeness or a willingness to hurt another emotionally... A woman in a true cuckolding relationship will be very much aware of how much her partner enjoy's her sexual freedom, and should be kind and respectful towards her life partner even if she does make love regularly with different men...

I agree, the thought of watching my woman in the throes of sexual ecstasy with another man is mind numbing and erotic... Though to watch is not entirely necessary for me... To know that her desires are being catered for and her sexual contentment achieved is more than enough... To crawl into bed with my woman and caress her sensually knowing that she has been sexually pleasured by another man that day is incredibly arousing for me... And her knowing that I am sexually devoted to her, even through her sexual freedom, is quite satisfying...

[Amanda_T]

I haven't read every post in this thread. But as an experience poly woman, I will tell you that if you really think there is something in the poly lifestyle that appeals to you, I suggest reading the book, "The Ethical Slut" It is a very good beginners level book on the politics of it, as well as the ethics that one must have in order to even consider this kind of lifestyle.

Jealousy is a big factor for many. And if you or your partner is prone to that kind of emotion, you will have issues.

It takes a generosity of spirit in love. And I will also tell you that many live this lifestyle in different ways. But. the word, polyamoury, (I'm canadian), has it's roots in the words "multi" and "love."

Some, like an ex of mine, expect the only love to be between you and your partner, and expect only sex play, and occasional other partners out of this lifestyle.

Others, like myself, want a love relationship with every person we get involved with sexually. Because I will not get sexually involved with someone I don't care a great deal for. (Not usually anyway. There have been the occasional exceptions lol)

And in my case, my first partner who I was with when I started the poly lifestyle, was very jealous that I loved someone else.

Communication, openness, honesty, integrity. These will be your most crucial tools in this lifestyle.

I really do suggest anyone interested read that book. (Of course, maybe someone already suggested it, if so my apologies.)