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Sex with Acquaintances

YourCaptor

YourCaptor

Cute Girl Connoisseur
Joined
Jun 17, 2007
Posts
4,550
Having sex with people you’re not so close with. No intimate relationship, not a close friend, etc. Oh and no other motives such as money, favors, etc.

Some potential aspects to discuss.

What’s your view on it?

Do you or would you do it?

Why or why not do it?
 
I started to write 'on my terms', but really I want mutually agreeable terms. Negotiating is only sexy to a certain point.

I'm somewhat greedy when it comes to women. I am happiest when my friends/acquaintances are free to come and go from my house. As long as my wishes are respected and said visitors provide food/keep tidy/ cook.

With an acquaintance where the relationship is approaching romantic but will never get there (but awkwardly or unwantedly), then sex is totally out of place. I'm reluctant because I know it's a bad idea.

If we can eat meals together and waste a lazy morning then that is a happy state indeed. This is where I like my acquaintances to be - sleeping together or sexing or bdsm or no. That I trust them enough to sleep near, they're willing enough to fumble around and cook bacon with me in the morning. Just perfect.
 
YourCaptor said:
Having sex with people you’re not so close with.

Some potential aspects to discuss.

What’s your view on it?

Do you or would you do it?

Why or why not do it?
Click to expand...


Uhm, I hate to mention it but everyone here had sex with someone they are "not so close with" - it's not like we live with someone 5 years together and then decide it's time to have sex. I would say sex happens within 4 weeks in real life relationships and that's really not hat much time to get "close" with someone - but hormones don't care that much about it.

Did you mean:"Fucking with random strangers." by chance?
 
Primalex said:
Uhm, I hate to mention it but everyone here had sex with someone they are "not so close with" - it's not like we live with someone 5 years together and then decide it's time to have sex. I would say sex happens within 4 weeks in real life relationships and that's really not hat much time to get "close" with someone - but hormones don't care that much about it.

Did you mean:"Fucking with random strangers." by chance?
Click to expand...

:rolleyes:

There are quite a few levels between acquaintance and significant other, plus I think it’s pretty easy to tell the difference between an acquaintance and a person you’d consider a serious relationship with.
 
YourCaptor said:
Having sex with people you’re not so close with. No intimate relationship, not a close friend, etc. Oh and no other motives such as money, favors, etc.

Some potential aspects to discuss.

What’s your view on it?

Do you or would you do it?

Why or why not do it?
Click to expand...

I think it's perfectly acceptable, I'm a grown woman and can make these decisions perfectly well....yes I do it and yes I enjoy it. I'm not in the place to have a lasting relationship at this stage of my life so "friends/acquaintenances" with benefits are the main source of my sexual life right now.
 
sex and play with friends and aquaintences is some of the best sex and play I've had. It's downright exciting to be perpetually at "the beginning" with someone (or multiple someones), if that makes sense.
 
Primalex said:
Uhm, I hate to mention it but everyone here had sex with someone they are "not so close with" - it's not like we live with someone 5 years together and then decide it's time to have sex. I would say sex happens within 4 weeks in real life relationships and that's really not hat much time to get "close" with someone - but hormones don't care that much about it.

Did you mean:"Fucking with random strangers." by chance?
Click to expand...

Not everyone had sex with someone they are "not so close with." While it may be a common practice, it is not a universally adopted one. That doesn't make the practice wrong, just not part of a valid assumption like that one. (Edited to say, I'm not including myself in that category because I had done it in the distant past, but do know others that have never and would never.)


YourCaptor said:
Having sex with people you’re not so close with. No intimate relationship, not a close friend, etc. Oh and no other motives such as money, favors, etc.

Some potential aspects to discuss.
Click to expand...

What’s your view on it?
My view is that anyone can and should do what they feel comfortable doing. If someone wants to have sex with only a physical attraction to base it upon, and is comfortable with the risks and possible regrets that might come with it, I hope they have fun. It isn't everyone's style to be so casual about it though, even if they swear they can handle it.

Do you or would you do it?
No and no.

Why or why not do it?
I'm very happy where I'm at, with who I'm with. Poly isn't his preference or mine. I stopped doing the casual sex thing long before he came along though, so it isn't just because of the current primary reason.
 
Last edited:
YourCaptor said:
Having sex with people you’re not so close with. No intimate relationship, not a close friend, etc. Oh and no other motives such as money, favors, etc.

Some potential aspects to discuss.

What’s your view on it?

Do you or would you do it?

Why or why not do it?
Click to expand...

There have been a couple of times I had sex with people who I wanted nothing from except sex and friendship.

I think it's a good idea to have sex with as many people as you can before you settle down personally. I didn't do that enough IMO.

:devil:
 
more people should do it! With ME!

I see nothing wrong with it, and if my relationship were not monogamous I would do it. I used to, before marriage to this particular husband (that sounds like I have had multiple husbands! I only had one before!!!!) and it was great.

I never had any type of negative out if the purely-friends fucking. The "I"m falling for you (either way)" sometimes got wonky. But that's life.
 
It's my preferred M.O. when I'm not in a relationship.

Less emotional messiness, just straight forward and honest tomfoolery. Everyone wins, no one looses.
 
Tomfoolery! I like that! I am going to use that word once a day for a week!
 
like martha said, "it's a good thing." sex with acquaintances (not friends) and even total strangers encompasses most of the sex i've had in my lifetime.
 
ownedsubgal said:
like martha said, "it's a good thing." sex with acquaintances (not friends) and even total strangers encompasses most of the sex i've had in my lifetime.
Click to expand...

:D

Hey OSG! I missed you, was almost convinced you were gone for sure.

Welcome back girl.
 
K, so surprise I’m not into it as I think I’ve said before somewhere.

Largely it’s just gross. Most people, within the context of sweating, smelling their breath, getting fluids all over me… no way in hell. There are a few exceptions , but then comes the dimwit barrier. Sex with people whos IQ is the square root of yours is extremely… infuriating, which frankly isn’t good for her either. And then I also have a pretty rigid trust barrier with most people. It all gives me a very strong no, or most of the time I don’t even think of it. When I’m talking to a new chick I’m attracted to I never think to invite her back to my place for some fun, I’m looking to see if I can thicken the connection.
 
Have done, will do. There's something very satisfying about climbing between the sheets with pleasure being the only purpose of all involved.
 
YourCaptor said:
Having sex with people you’re not so close with. No intimate relationship, not a close friend, etc. Oh and no other motives such as money, favors, etc.

Some potential aspects to discuss.

What’s your view on it?
Click to expand...

As far as you are both on the same wavelength in regard of each others' emotional investment in the act of having sex, as far as you are aware of any risk involved and take the necessary precautions, and as a woman as far as you are aware of the fact that having sex might release chemicals in your brain that make you think you are "in love" with them, I don't see anything wrong with it.

Do you or would you do it?

Why or why not do it?
Click to expand...

If you mean if I have sex with people in my vanilla circle of acquaintances, right now no. But that is simply because there are not enough people to begin with, and even less that would be ok with it. However if it were to happen, I would have no problem.

I can see thought that if I liked them enough to have sex, we would end up getting a sort of friendship going, as it happens even with my fuck buddies, people I just met for the purpose of sex. Unless I like them enough to spend time chatting with them over a cup of coffee, I tend not to see them more than once.
 
Primalex said:
Uhm, I hate to mention it but everyone here had sex with someone they are "not so close with" -
Click to expand...

Um. Hello? I've only ever had sex (in any way, shape, or form) with my husband and our families had been friends for four years before we even started dating.

I haven't had sex with someone I'm not close to, and doubt I ever will. I don't trust that quickly, and I'm very uncomfortable with touching. K is the only man I know who I'll hug (outside of my brothers) comfortably. I don't even sit by strange men (or acquaintances) if I can help it - it makes me claustrophobic.

YourCaptor said:
:D

Hey OSG! I missed you, was almost convinced you were gone for sure.

Welcome back girl.
Click to expand...

She does this; stays away until everyone thinks she's gone and then comes back.

YourCaptor said:
Largely it’s just gross.
Click to expand...

Yeah, me too. I just can't see having sex with someone I don't know. Ick.
 
YourCaptor said:
:D

Hey OSG! I missed you, was almost convinced you were gone for sure.

Welcome back girl.
Click to expand...

thanks YC. :)

like Graceanne said, i disappear from time to time. sometimes because i need a break, and sometimes because life just intervenes.
 
YourCaptor said:
K, so surprise I’m not into it as I think I’ve said before somewhere.

Largely it’s just gross. Most people, within the context of sweating, smelling their breath, getting fluids all over me… no way in hell. There are a few exceptions , but then comes the dimwit barrier. Sex with people whos IQ is the square root of yours is extremely… infuriating, which frankly isn’t good for her either. And then I also have a pretty rigid trust barrier with most people. It all gives me a very strong no, or most of the time I don’t even think of it. When I’m talking to a new chick I’m attracted to I never think to invite her back to my place for some fun, I’m looking to see if I can thicken the connection.
Click to expand...

i understand the gross factor in having sex with those you find physically repulsive (even if it's just their scent), or with those you find ridiculously unintelligent, but if neither is an issue with a particular individual, then what's the big deal? i also don't understand what trust has to do with sex? then again, i also don't understand what's "intimate" about sex. not trying to be contrary, i'm genuinely curious as i have never felt/thought that way about sex, even from the very beginning.
 
It didn't take me very long to have sex with my acquaintance but I was attracted to him. But I don't think I can have sex with just any acquaintances. There's just something missing.
 
I'm all for it, you just have to be careful. Oftentimes when two people engage in sex, at least one of them wants more out of it, and if that ends up being the case, it can spoil the fun for both parties involved. Well, both parties if the one who doesn't want more has a heart.
 
YourCaptor said:
Having sex with people you’re not so close with. No intimate relationship, not a close friend, etc. Oh and no other motives such as money, favors, etc.

Some potential aspects to discuss.

What’s your view on it?

Do you or would you do it?

Why or why not do it?
Click to expand...
I have no problem with it and yes, I've done it. Most of my sexual situations have been this way. Friends with benefits, two consenting adults and all that. And just like Stephen Stills said, "if you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with". And if there isn't anybody you love and the one you're with is willing... :D
 
I'm part of the "Gross" camp too. I was never able to comprehend the thought process that you should have sex with many many people before settling down, because that's somehow supposed to magically cure your curiosity...or something?

Well, um, no. Penis goes in mouth, penis goes in vagina, penis goes in rectum. When you're hetero, no matter if you're fucking 1 person or fucking 1000, it's essentially still fucking, no 'new' stuff happening there. *shrugs* Even if you're pansexual like myself, sex only has so many permutations before the lightbulb goes off that you're still doing the same thing over and over again. What are you learning? What curiosity are you sating? Once you become monogamous and 'settle down', you're still going to have that same curiosity, what's the point of being slutty in your youth and risking STDs and pregnancy with someone you may not even know OR LIKE when it makes no difference?

Plus, I'm not about to risk my life just to fuck a bunch of people for the sake of 'sowing my wild oats' which I never understood that concept at all either. There's some scary shit out there that isn't worth a new dick to risk. NO thank you.
 
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