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Old 07-31-2010, 03:57 PM   #201
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holy fuck.
 

Old 07-31-2010, 04:11 PM   #202
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holy fuck.
Yeap what the fuck. I'm glad my mascara didn't get ruined.
 

Old 07-31-2010, 04:13 PM   #203
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Yeap what the fuck. I'm glad my mascara didn't get ruined.
hahaha! It was actually a reaction to reading most of your other posts

oh, and Blinc kiss me mascara is your friend
 

Old 07-31-2010, 08:16 PM   #204
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Unbelievable.
I'm standing at the bedside assisting Dr Mean place a central line in my patients neck.

Dr Mean while attempting to get an air bubble out of a 10ml saline flush syringe....


Shoots the whole fucking 10ml all over my face, by accident.
At least the taste was about right.
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My father considered a walk among
the mountains as the equivalent
of churchgoing. ~Aldous Huxley

"Your amiable slut makes the best of cooks."
~Dr. Steven Maturin, in The Surgeon's Mate, by Patrick O'Brian

"I saw you earlier, on the Discovery channel. You were terrorizing the nesting seabirds on the cliffs. You were totally awesome when you caught one of those somebitches in midair."
~StonedFox, to me.

There are some whose words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. (Proverbs 12:18)
"You're confident but kind, articulate and slightly bent."
~SheRem, to me.





This is what some of me looks like. Some twat's tits!
 

Old 07-31-2010, 08:57 PM   #205
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hahaha! It was actually a reaction to reading most of your other posts

oh, and Blinc kiss me mascara is your friend
Is that waterproof? The stuff never comes off and bothers me at bedtime!

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Originally Posted by Peregrinator View Post
At least the taste was about right.
salty.
 

Old 07-31-2010, 09:29 PM   #206
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Is that waterproof? The stuff never comes off and bothers me at bedtime!



salty.
We can work on the consistency.
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My father considered a walk among
the mountains as the equivalent
of churchgoing. ~Aldous Huxley

"Your amiable slut makes the best of cooks."
~Dr. Steven Maturin, in The Surgeon's Mate, by Patrick O'Brian

"I saw you earlier, on the Discovery channel. You were terrorizing the nesting seabirds on the cliffs. You were totally awesome when you caught one of those somebitches in midair."
~StonedFox, to me.

There are some whose words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. (Proverbs 12:18)
"You're confident but kind, articulate and slightly bent."
~SheRem, to me.





This is what some of me looks like. Some twat's tits!
 

Old 07-31-2010, 09:39 PM   #207
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We can work on the consistency.
viscous.
 

Old 07-31-2010, 09:56 PM   #208
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Scalpel to the Neck---Saline soaked face

Dr Mean shows up. He has his own Doppler. He tells me Janey, Janey, Janey. He then goes on to say how he is 55 years old, on top of his game, ya ya ya ya.

And he shows up at the same time I am supposed to be lunching and having cake love with my favorite ICU nurse. <screams>

Dr Mean is hot, with his silvery hair.

He asks me to stay to help out, and I oblige, torn inside.

I watch as he injects lidocaine into the patient’s neck
Takes a scalpel, jabs the whole fucking blade into the patient’s neck, then places hemostats in the wound and pops it fucking open.


Sterile.

I am coaching the patients neck towards me to distract. There is a sterile blanket over the head that I hold up to provide air.

The guide wire goes in.

Dr Mean takes the saline flush and squirts it all over my fucking face.

Great. I am so startled, I don’t know if I want to laugh or cry.
Dr Mean starts laughing, and I start laughing. I can’t touch my face because I am in sterile suit. <screams>

I am looking at the clock; he asks me if I am in a rush.

I blush.

Outside the room he says: Sorry about the flush on your face, it was sterile. I have a feeling you are in a hurry.

I replied: It is ok about the flush, but if I am going to get a face soaking, it should be some other substance, and normally when removing that small amount of air from a syringe, we hold it in the vertical position.

He did not get it, luckily for me.

Dr Mean again repeats his age while rambling on about work politics and stuff.

I told him: You look great; I like your silvery hair.

Then I escaped and made it in time for cake love, with my favorite ICU nurse who made me laugh for 30 minutes.

When I got back, Dr Mean tells me: The line is in the right place, the chest x ray looks good, you can infuse, and use it.
 

Old 08-01-2010, 07:22 AM   #209
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My collar has a leash attached to it.
I drag myself around with it
For twelve point five hours
Spinning

Listening to air exchange in the lungs
And blood flowing
Swish swish swish
In your heart

Every four hours.

And if I get sad or lonely
Making this coffee for one

At least I know how to push lopressor.
Make ugly necklaces.
And infuse positive inoptropes.
I got your dobutamine...right here.

Ahahahahahahaha

Bring it on baby.
 

Old 08-01-2010, 07:45 AM   #210
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I am the positive inotropic agent.
Increasing stroke volume.
 

Old 08-01-2010, 08:25 AM   #211
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At least the taste was about right.
you should eat more pineapple, mate.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sweepthefloor View Post
Is that waterproof? The stuff never comes off and bothers me at bedtime!


.
it's waterproof until you rub it with water and then it comes off in cute little tubes.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Peregrinator View Post
We can work on the consistency.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sweepthefloor View Post
viscous.
hyaluronic acid solution shaken with emu oil.
 

Old 08-01-2010, 12:42 PM   #212
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I'm in a funk. It might have something to do with no cake love for me. It could be because I told him I thought bondage was hot. He said he didn't get it. That was yesterday.

I'm better off keeping my mouth shut.

I'm just going to get excited about beta blockers again.

<fail>
 

Old 08-01-2010, 12:45 PM   #213
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It's ok. I was just using him to distract me from someone else.

I am a fucking bitch.
 

Old 08-01-2010, 12:45 PM   #214
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he says he doesn't get it...

i bet he wanked to it later.
gotta try it on for size.
 

Old 08-01-2010, 05:43 PM   #215
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he says he doesn't get it...

i bet he wanked to it later.
gotta try it on for size.
He might wank, but I'm not trying him on.
He most likely wants me to treat him like a dog, he wants to do tricks and beg me to throw him a bone. Fuck that.
 

Old 08-01-2010, 05:47 PM   #216
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You are like a necrotic leg wound
that won't heal.
So I cut my leg off
before I got septic.
 

Old 08-01-2010, 05:53 PM   #217
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You are like a necrotic leg wound
that won't heal.
So I cut my leg off
before I got septic.
That's like...coyote ugly.
 

Old 08-01-2010, 06:15 PM   #218
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Only subs are this weird.
 

Old 08-01-2010, 07:20 PM   #219
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Can I be your morphine?
 

Old 08-01-2010, 07:27 PM   #220
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That's like...coyote ugly.
That's like... I don't know what that is.
 

Old 08-01-2010, 07:48 PM   #221
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My goal for today
Is to drop some preload
Beat down the afterload
Increase contractility.

Improve output.

Give a boner to the little guy.
The one that does not smile.

He is probably the perv in quiet clothing.
You are a true humanitarian kinda perv.
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Beautiful corndog...
in your butthole
tastes so good
 

Old 08-01-2010, 08:17 PM   #222
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That's like... I don't know what that is.
Trust me.

Have I ever lied to you before?
 

Old 08-01-2010, 08:58 PM   #223
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You are a true humanitarian kinda perv.
If I could suck the world, I would eradicate stress.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bert Notorius View Post
Trust me.

Have I ever lied to you before?
You are innocent, till proven innocent.
 

Old 08-01-2010, 09:23 PM   #224
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stopcocks

I imagine, only plumbers and nurses know what a stopcock is.

Braun Medical Inc. makes a one, two, three or four way stopcock for intravenous tubing.

Directions: Use Aseptic Technique.
1. Peel open package and remove stopcock.
2. Rotate handle to control fluid flow.
3. Stopcock flow will be through ports aligned with indicator ribs on handle.
4. Port aligned with stopcock handle will be closed. All ports are closed when handle is turned 45 degrees from ports.
Caution: Do not remove cap from stopcock until using port. Close port before removing cap.

Whatever the application B Braun offers stopcocks that meet your needs.

It is the discofix.
 

Old 08-02-2010, 10:07 PM   #225
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Because the Hospital is not always Perverse.
Some of the best medical bloggers can be found on creative display at
Grand Rounds Vol. 6 No. 45 Killer Posts.
 
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