As The Hospital Pervs

[sweepthefloor]

The good thing about sharing space with Trauma is:
The violence, the lock down, and men dressed in blue with guns.

[Balladeer08]

Originally Posted by sweepthefloor

The good thing about sharing space with Trauma is:
The violence, the lock down, and men dressed in blue with guns.

The boys in blue
may be tried and true,
but the mark of a man
is green and tan.


Deputy Sheriffs are where it's at. 8)

I could be persuaded to show you my guns....

[sweepthefloor]

Originally Posted by Balladeer08

The boys in blue
may be tried and true,
but the mark of a man
is green and tan.


Deputy Sheriffs are where it's at. 8)

I could be persuaded to show you my guns....

Oh! I'm afraid of guns! I wouldn't mind playing with a water pistol.
A super soaker.

[vrosej10]

Originally Posted by sweepthefloor

Yes, medical records department paper work sucks. I think that every patient should be discharged with their records to take with them to their primary care doctor, and have a copy for themselves too.

I understand the MRI department, they are the ones putting the patient in the machine. I also empathize with the patients waiting patiently.

Sometimes the process takes time, but safety trumps all. I am the ace of diamond safety.

i would prefer that. I have complex medical needs and I've had to move doctors twice in three years. My life would be easier if I could take my records with me.

As to neurology, I can never figure out why anyone would choose that speciality. Its like palliative care, there's not much good news there.

[sweepthefloor]

Originally Posted by vrosej10

i would prefer that. I have complex medical needs and I've had to move doctors twice in three years. My life would be easier if I could take my records with me.

As to neurology, I can never figure out why anyone would choose that speciality. Its like palliative care, there's not much good news there.

Yes, you have to be your own best advocate.

Neurology. I have no regrets. I might not be in love with it, but I will carry the strict discipline of the neuro exam with me when I leave. It is a whole new language and I will climb it like a mountain and then roll down the hill laughing after I find myself on top.

I aim to climb fast and get down fast before it hurts me. My cynical nurse mentor followed suit to neuro and he says we are: pinching petunias in the veggie patch. It can be sad and even sickening, but there is good news and that keeps us working. And in between sad is a whole lot of other stuff to learn and be happy about: it is not all massive brain injuries.

Pinching. We pinch and leave bruises for a motor response to pain.

Somebody pinch me!

[sweepthefloor]

We're off to be submissive, as the wonderful hospital pervs.
Because because because because....
I forget why so I'll just follow the yellow brick road.

[sweepthefloor]

Mock Code! Does not mean make fun of the residents as they look at their protocol cheat sheets!

[sweepthefloor]

Add to my resume: Unit performance improvement representative for restraints!
I get to collect data, educate and ensure 100% documentation compliance.
Posters! These nurses want posters!

[sweepthefloor]

It's time to brush my teeth and pretend I just got here.

[sweepthefloor]

There is no secret to being a good stick. I don’t have magical venous powers. My eyes are not a Doppler.

My name is in the stick directory.

I am not afraid to blind stick it. If I can feel it with my fingers, I can see it in my mind and I get it every time.

It is like me getting fucked. My woman hole fears his man pole at the moment of entry but after that, it can be all right.

The sharp goes in and when it breaks vein it makes a pop that I feel in my wrist and I know I am there before the hub fills with blood. I am not fishing around, just straight shooting a small portal at the system I love, and that is circulatory of course.

Sometimes they look as I say now don’t move, the hard part is over, and I finish the job.
It is just like me getting fucked, I might look after a while if he can’t see me looking.

[blunt_trauma]

you make me want become a phlebotomist.

[sweepthefloor]

You can be what you want to be. The world is yours.
I want to be a secretary. I just haven't found a doctor to pay me enough yet.

[sweepthefloor]

It's that time during the shift to make a fresh hot pot and pretend I just got here.
--
Nurse! Support your resident! Don't keep the info crack to yourself. One day the orders you take will be from that same resident. If you have to teach them, do it gently. Watch them grow!

[sweepthefloor]

The MRI tech said on the phone that he would scan my head anytime.
I asked him if he'd talk sweetly into the microphone to me while when I'm in the tunnel. He said yes. I'm working on my checklist right now.

[sweepthefloor]

MRI tech: Are you ready to get into my love tunnel?
Me: The unit clerk wants to know if we can have a 2 for 1 brain scan. We will both get in the tunnel together, and make a whole brain.

ahahahahahahahahahahaha

[MedicalMuse]

Originally Posted by sweepthefloor

I am going to tattoo DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) on my chest, right at the xiphoid process, in black bold letters. Font: Impact.

When I “code blue” pre-hospital, the Paramedic will cut my shirt off with his trauma shears, see my chest splayed wide open before him.

I will leave this world happy, giving the last man to see me: A huge fucking boner.

As a medic, I'm not sure I'll have a boner, since I have no penis...

[sweepthefloor]

Originally Posted by MedicalMuse

As a medic, I'm not sure I'll have a boner, since I have no penis...

No worries. If you have no penis, you have no bone. It is sure and simple. You can always pretend for a while, but that doesn't last long. I am pretty sure your partner has a penis, you can appreciate his bone. Or are you two chicks on a truck? Cause that is kinda hot.

I would love a short story. :ambulance:

[veryfaithfull]

Originally Posted by sweepthefloor

There is no secret to being a good stick. I don’t have magical venous powers. My eyes are not a Doppler.

My name is in the stick directory.

I am not afraid to blind stick it. If I can feel it with my fingers, I can see it in my mind and I get it every time.

It is like me getting fucked. My woman hole fears his man pole at the moment of entry but after that, it can be all right.

The sharp goes in and when it breaks vein it makes a pop that I feel in my wrist and I know I am there before the hub fills with blood. I am not fishing around, just straight shooting a small portal at the system I love, and that is circulatory of course.

Sometimes they look as I say now don’t move, the hard part is over, and I finish the job.
It is just like me getting fucked, I might look after a while if he can’t see me looking.

This marks another first for me. I have never heard someone compare a IV start to sex and actually do it in a way that makes since. You have a gift for explanation or BS I don't know which.

[vrosej10]

Originally Posted by sweepthefloor

There is no secret to being a good stick. I don’t have magical venous powers. My eyes are not a Doppler.

My name is in the stick directory.

I am not afraid to blind stick it. If I can feel it with my fingers, I can see it in my mind and I get it every time.

It is like me getting fucked. My woman hole fears his man pole at the moment of entry but after that, it can be all right.

The sharp goes in and when it breaks vein it makes a pop that I feel in my wrist and I know I am there before the hub fills with blood. I am not fishing around, just straight shooting a small portal at the system I love, and that is circulatory of course.

Sometimes they look as I say now don’t move, the hard part is over, and I finish the job.
It is just like me getting fucked, I might look after a while if he can’t see me looking.

A nurse who can put in an IV without seriously bruising you is worth their weight in gold. The nurse who took my blood this morning did a good job; i don't have a bruise (a rare event) and she was nice enough to give me a bandaid (sticking plaster) and not tape so I don't have an itching rash. This is as good as you can get with this stuff.

[blunt_trauma]

i actually looked up phlebotomy training.
that's how good she is.

[sweepthefloor]

Originally Posted by veryfaithfull

This marks another first for me. I have never heard someone compare a IV start to sex and actually do it in a way that makes since. You have a gift for explanation or BS I don't know which.

Oh! We are starting lines, and sticking it in! We get it right the first time. Think about that the next time you are piercing that vessel with a #18 gauge in the antecubital. Pop, thread, lock, flashback, release. Here comes the morphine! We are all getting high.

[sweepthefloor]

Originally Posted by blunt_trauma

i actually looked up phlebotomy training.
that's how good she is.

It actually seems like a pretty good gig. Vampira!

[Wok]

All the paperwork and liability.

[blunt_trauma]

all the stabby stabbing

[sweepthefloor]

The paper work, the pain, the poking. The CYA (cover your ass) charting.
Life is a critical care flowsheet.