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Old 08-14-2010, 12:06 PM   #301
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Originally Posted by never_event View Post
Ater Obamacare ignites, these will be nostalgically referred to as "the good ole days".

Please perv on.

So you know, this is Bert

Don't pay him or his Obama bashing no mind.
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Beautiful corndog...
in your butthole
tastes so good
 

Old 08-14-2010, 12:36 PM   #302
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Originally Posted by naughtycakes View Post
So you know, this is Bert

Don't pay him or his Obama bashing no mind.
Holy shit, a naughtyC sighting!
 

Old 08-14-2010, 12:46 PM   #303
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Holy shit, a naughtyC sighting!
Hi, beautiful!

I've been on a Summer sangria kick cause of you!

Thanks
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Beautiful corndog...
in your butthole
tastes so good
 

Old 08-14-2010, 12:47 PM   #304
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Hi, beautiful!

I've been on a Summer sangria kick cause of you!

Thanks
I'd be totally lying if I didn't say right the fuck on. I love turning everyone into a sangria hoor. I'm woefully lacking in the drinking department these days. Totally amateur hour with a sip of limoncello here and a random beer there. I sucketh. Zumi told me as much last night. Bwa ha ha! (Sorry for the thread hijack to the OP! Had to say hi!)
 

Old 08-14-2010, 12:56 PM   #305
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Originally Posted by never_event View Post
Ater Obamacare ignites, these will be nostalgically referred to as "the good ole days".

Please perv on.
After any care ignites, I will still be holding the same hands, and rubbing the same backs, still micromanaging the lives of the sick, and topping doctors from the bottom for more or less money.

And I don't kiss boys or girls, but the pill with those lips makes me think about it, just once and that is the never event.
 

Old 08-14-2010, 01:00 PM   #306
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Fuckers!
I did my laundry the day before yesterday, from about 2pm to 8pm... gah!
I'd been painting the town red and not doing any of my errands, invoicing, cleaning, wanking or lit-posting.
I think I need a punishment enema.
The perverse nurse will get you good and clean. All you have to do is bend over for the soap suds enema.

By the way naughty cakes, I am eating this greek yogurt, it is so good in my mouth.
 

Old 08-14-2010, 01:09 PM   #307
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After any care ignites, I will still be holding the same hands, and rubbing the same backs, still micromanaging the lives of the sick, and topping doctors from the bottom for more or less money.

And I don't kiss boys or girls, but the pill with those lips makes me think about it, just once and that is the never event.
Have I told you today how much I love the way you write?

Quote:
Originally Posted by sweepthefloor View Post
The perverse nurse will get you good and clean. All you have to do is bend over for the soap suds enema.

By the way naughty cakes, I am eating this greek yogurt, it is so good in my mouth.
*so bending over*

Greek yogurt is stuff of the gods.

Do you eat it with honey?

I usually add pumpkin pie spice and some chocolate syrup, then top it with light-whip sprinkled with cinnamon. Oh and I add some nuts in there, too.
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Beautiful corndog...
in your butthole
tastes so good
 

Old 08-14-2010, 01:46 PM   #308
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Originally Posted by naughtycakes View Post
Have I told you today how much I love the way you write?



*so bending over*

Greek yogurt is stuff of the gods.

Do you eat it with honey?

I usually add pumpkin pie spice and some chocolate syrup, then top it with light-whip sprinkled with cinnamon. Oh and I add some nuts in there, too.
<blush> You just did tell me, thank you naughty ego stroker. You like how I slip that little truth in there.
I am not afraid to clean out the rectal vault. I have a nurse tops doctor enema conversation for you coming right up.

I am a plain yogurt eating jane, but I would not mind some nuts on top.
 

Old 08-14-2010, 02:38 PM   #309
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Quote:
Originally Posted by naughtycakes View Post
So you know, this is Bert

Don't pay him or his Obama bashing no mind.
You think everyone is bert.

Your obsession does not go unnoticed.

 

Old 08-14-2010, 02:47 PM   #310
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What about that nephrologist? The runner up compared to cardiology and pulmonary, fear of a knowledge deficit keeps me away from them, it is just so complicated. They are the masters of fluids and electrolytes, acid base balance, and the precious bodily fluids.

Background: Patients in kidney failure have abnormal high levels of blood urea nitrogen and creatinine. If the levels are too high the patient has to be dialyzed. Patients already on hemodiaylsis will always have these abnormal labs. The nurse must still call the nephrologist and report these labs due to hospital policy.

Really fucking hot Nephrologist: Janey, if you nurses donít stop calling me about these labs on my dialysis patients, things are going to get ugly around here.

Janey: Oh Dear Nephro, you know it is a part of my job. What if you decide to do an extra dialysis treatment on that patient?

Hot Nephro: Unless the creat is >15 donít call me.

Janey: I will call you every time, at 0700 when the labs come back, and you might be sleeping stillÖand I have your cell phone number remember? I donít even have to call your service.

Hot Nephro: If you do that I will march in here and order Fleets enemas on all my patients for you to administer.

Janey: No, I donít think you will do that.

Hot Nephro: Yes, I will, just try it.

Janey: Really?

Hot Nephro: Yes.

Janey: You know that Fleets enemas are contraindicated in renal patients, secondary to the high levels of phosphate and the inability of the kidneys to clear this. So I highly doubt that you would be ordering Fleets enemas on any of your patients.

Hot Nephro: YOU!

Janey: Yes I am correct.

Hot Nephro: Fine, I will come down here and write orders for soapsuds enemas on all my patients for you to administer. How do you like that?

Janey: You must have a thing for imagining me giving enemas.

Hot Nephro: Just donít call me on the dialysis patients.

Janey: I will still call on every patient.

Hot Nephro: You need an enema.

I knew it. He wants to give me a sperm enema.
 

Old 08-14-2010, 02:50 PM   #311
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bert Notorius View Post
You think everyone is bert.

Your obsession does not go unnoticed.

You just ruined my dream. I almost wanted to kiss you.
 

Old 08-14-2010, 02:52 PM   #312
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You just ruined my dream. I almost wanted to kiss you.
Almost is just close enough.
 

Old 08-14-2010, 03:17 PM   #313
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Almost is just close enough.
hard cell cell cell (?)
 

Old 08-14-2010, 03:29 PM   #314
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hard cell cell cell (?)
Your pursed lips say yes but your fingers smell of KY and latex.
 

Old 08-14-2010, 03:36 PM   #315
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bert Notorius View Post
You think everyone is bert.

Your obsession does not go unnoticed.

Nope, just your alts.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sweepthefloor View Post
What about that nephrologist? The runner up compared to cardiology and pulmonary, fear of a knowledge deficit keeps me away from them, it is just so complicated. They are the masters of fluids and electrolytes, acid base balance, and the precious bodily fluids.

Background: Patients in kidney failure have abnormal high levels of blood urea nitrogen and creatinine. If the levels are too high the patient has to be dialyzed. Patients already on hemodiaylsis will always have these abnormal labs. The nurse must still call the nephrologist and report these labs due to hospital policy.

Really fucking hot Nephrologist: Janey, if you nurses donít stop calling me about these labs on my dialysis patients, things are going to get ugly around here.

Janey: Oh Dear Nephro, you know it is a part of my job. What if you decide to do an extra dialysis treatment on that patient?

Hot Nephro: Unless the creat is >15 donít call me.

Janey: I will call you every time, at 0700 when the labs come back, and you might be sleeping stillÖand I have your cell phone number remember? I donít even have to call your service.

Hot Nephro: If you do that I will march in here and order Fleets enemas on all my patients for you to administer.

Janey: No, I donít think you will do that.

Hot Nephro: Yes, I will, just try it.

Janey: Really?

Hot Nephro: Yes.

Janey: You know that Fleets enemas are contraindicated in renal patients, secondary to the high levels of phosphate and the inability of the kidneys to clear this. So I highly doubt that you would be ordering Fleets enemas on any of your patients.

Hot Nephro: YOU!

Janey: Yes I am correct.

Hot Nephro: Fine, I will come down here and write orders for soapsuds enemas on all my patients for you to administer. How do you like that?

Janey: You must have a thing for imagining me giving enemas.

Hot Nephro: Just donít call me on the dialysis patients.

Janey: I will still call on every patient.

Hot Nephro: You need an enema.

I knew it. He wants to give me a sperm enema.
Nephros are bad news. Dated one once... total dick.
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Beautiful corndog...
in your butthole
tastes so good
 

Old 08-14-2010, 03:38 PM   #316
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Nope, just your alts.

I guess you told me, obsessor.

 

Old 08-14-2010, 03:54 PM   #317
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Quote:
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Nephros are bad news. Dated one once... total dick.
They are too quiet at the hospital.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Bert Notorius View Post
Your pursed lips say yes but your fingers smell of KY and latex.
My fingers smell like Lux.
 

Old 08-14-2010, 03:55 PM   #318
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My fingers smell like Lux.
Lesbian (?)
 

Old 08-14-2010, 03:57 PM   #319
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She does not really want a kiss, look at her face.
 

Old 08-14-2010, 03:58 PM   #320
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Lesbian (?)
Latex allergy (?)
 

Old 08-14-2010, 04:01 PM   #321
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She does not really want a kiss, look at her face.
camel breath



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Latex allergy (?)
I'm on probation.
 

Old 08-14-2010, 04:04 PM   #322
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ewww

oral care is strictly enforced.
 

Old 08-15-2010, 10:51 PM   #323
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Is it possible to be sad and pervy at the same time?

When the emergency room calls to give report, and the nurse sees the name of a patient that frequently visits our unit, and sees awful results from an arterial blood gas, the nurse wonders, why is this patient not being sent to the intensive care unit on a ventilator?

The charge nurse gets on the phone to the supervisor, in busy bitch fashion: This patient belongs in the unit. (don't ever underestimate the power of the nurse to get the patient where he/she belongs)

The truth is, we fight for a while, but we all knowÖ

We know why inside our hearts. The patient does not want a breathing tube. How can the patient make that decision with numbers like that?

It is made in advance.

We know, the patient is coming to us, to finally die, and that is acceptable. The patient will die, with us. The patient could go to the medical floor to die, but the patient is ours, the patients doctor knows this too.

When the patient arrives, as the charge nurse for the day, I help the nurse settle the patient. The patient says: Is this it now, will I die soon now?

How does a person answer that? I answer: It could be, I donít know for sure. With my hand in the hand, and a blood pressure of 60/40, and the morphine drip infusing, riding next to the 0.9% Normal Saline, wide open.

I left the patient, and part of the patient that is the family, alone, with the nurse to cry.

And when I leave the room, like a switch, my mind is off that, but the sadness, the pending situation fills my chest. They are all my family. I know their life story, their secrets, their children, their gains, their multiple losses over a lifetime, and somehow I feel lucky to carry all of that with me.

And there he is, my favorite old time Pulmonary Attending at the nurses station before shift change. I know why he is there.

I still ask: What are you doing here on a Sunday after rounds?
He says: I am checking up on you young lady.

But it is fake rabble rousing banter, it is lifeless, we know the truth. His patient is dying. He took care of this patient for fifteen years, through health and pain and sickness. And when I watch him defeated, march into the room, and embrace the daughters of this patient, we all feel overwhelmed.

I love him for his brave, perverted talk of giving me medication via enema through his prescription when I get sick as a punishment for all those phone calls. I love him for his words about my smile, that he knows I am thinking something. I love him for how he knows that I escape the hospital on my lunch breaks. I love him for talking to me the way no young doctor would ever dare.

In the face of this emotion, I love him more now. He always shows up. He knows what is going on. He knows what he is doing. And he might sometimes be mean, but he is always tender when necessary.

I wanted to tell him, but I answered a call bell, and when I returned, he was walking down the hall, to the exit, to his car.

And sometimes this love

Is all we fucking got.


*And I will perv on next shift.
 

Old 08-16-2010, 11:08 AM   #324
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This Means War A cute little story of nurses playing pranks on the doctor.
 

Old 08-16-2010, 04:01 PM   #325
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I just bought these shoes! The Sanita Ingrid Red Oil.

Now, if the Director of Nursing finds me and gives me a tongue lashing, I can always clean them up, and wear them out.

Fun!
 
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