Old 03-19-2012, 11:12 AM   #2501
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Do tell *but quietly, rather delicately*
Delicately: Thanks for coming to work! Please put on your big nurse panties and take over!

Or…Sit down, STFU, take report!
 

Old 03-19-2012, 11:25 AM   #2502
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Originally Posted by Hopeorless1 View Post
Warning! Long and badly written rant.

16 patients, nurse aid left halfway through shift. Crazies went extra crazy, screaming all night long (had to give out IMs all night), bitchy patient bitched so badly about an injection that I thought I had hurt said patient and was in tears, had to call security because another patient punched spouse in the face, then got old that noone there cares about him or his health after spending 25 minutes with him explaining his pain medicine to him when I had no time to do so, and barely got done with charting or anything. Now- I am just happy I made it-- HOWEVER, it makes me worry even more about tonight, where we are going to be even LESS staffed. Don't you just love med-surge? >.<
Oh and as a post-disclaimer: I understand that everyone has a hard time at work and I am no different. I just bitch alot about mine.
I hear the bold. It's not easy. Everyone has a hard time, but these are the days when you say: Honey! I am home! And you just feel that no one will understand. Sometimes it is just awful. It's been crazy: leaving in the midst of security coding, 4 point-restraining, stat CT scans, and a transfer to critical care...and the night nurse says: Did the patient get a flu shot this year? Priority alert! Figure it the fuck out yourself! I am leaving!
 

Old 03-19-2012, 11:28 AM   #2503
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Such soothing syllables.

Alliterative derivative palliatives.
I am all about the comfort care.
 

Old 03-19-2012, 11:39 AM   #2504
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Like tears through the saline flush- these are the days of our lives.
 

Old 03-19-2012, 06:07 PM   #2505
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They gave me a Mohawk (a male version of a landing strip). They want patients to be completely immobile for 2-4 hours after the procedure. That means they don't want me to lift my head, shoulders, etc. At the same time, they've had me on an IV and pushing liquids to flush the dye. Well, a man who has to piss and can't move just needs help and they are so willing to provide it! Four or five times, they had to put my penis in the urine bottle for me. They nicer nurses wipe me afterward.
For those interested, the story I submitted is now available:

http://www.literotica.com/s/exhibitionism-in-cardiology
 

Old 03-19-2012, 08:26 PM   #2506
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Richard, i read half of your story the other day but my toddler was up and wanted to watch Sesame Street so I had to cut it short, but what I read was great- I plan to finish reading it either tonight or tomorrow. To be honest, I thought about some aspects of it at work last night!! I really appreciate hearing about all of that from a patients standpoint.

Last night was alright; we had a low census and ended up with 5 admits each, which was pretty rough. they had to call in extra help, but with the help it was doable. Crazies still went crazy and had to cath one of them, which set them off. Thank god for that clingy wrap- it gives them something nice to play with rather than pulling the cath out of their urethra xD.

The worst/funniest part of the night though, was getting a patient out of an ER bed with extreme confusion that was actually young (Yet a bad breather and a regular) and could walk okay. They mentioned in the ER that she had a few cases of diarrhea. Okay, I thought, that means shell prob be getting alot of IV fluids and the like. Well, they brought her up, and the ER nurse and I helped her to the hospital bed. Halfway through, she slowly just began to sit down instead of walking. We tried to talk her through it, and helped hold her up and encourage her, but she slowly kind of just sat down, except kneeling on her knees. Of course, due to the way we walk with patients, we each ended up with one foot under her ass. We hear something begin to flow on the floor, and think that she is peeing. Then, we realize she is cath'd. Then we realize the smell. She quite literally sat down ON OUR FEET and began to have explosive diarrhea all over us. It was all over my pants and my shoe, and I ended up just throwing the pants away. Shoes are in the wash. I hope to god it doesn't stain! It's one of those moments where it both fucking sucks and is absolutely fucking hilarious in a pitiful kind of way. Oh, goodness. Now the ER nurse and I have a very special bond, I imagine. Anytime I see her I will think of us getting shit on together.
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Old 03-19-2012, 08:30 PM   #2507
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Originally Posted by sweepthefloor View Post
Delicately: Thanks for coming to work! Please put on your big nurse panties and take over!

Or…Sit down, STFU, take report!
Sometimes I lie down to sleep after work and in my dreams I can hear the clerk's voice resonating, "We've got a call up for report! Who wants to take it?!"
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Old 03-19-2012, 08:35 PM   #2508
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and the night nurse says: Did the patient get a flu shot this year? Priority alert! Figure it the fuck out yourself! I am leaving!
HAH! This is how i have felt in the very few times that I have given report (we do team nursing and I am not the RN so i dodge that bullet, thank god!!)! They ask so many overwhelming, yet purely silly quesitons AFTER you tell the patients' details and its like, FIGURE IT OUT YOUR FUCKING SELF!!!! LOL
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Old 03-19-2012, 08:57 PM   #2509
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For those interested, the story I submitted is now available:

http://www.literotica.com/s/exhibitionism-in-cardiology
I enjoy the patient perspective, thanks. It is an accurate description of post cardiac cath. I will provide detailed commentary as soon as I have a chance.

Now, I wonder...about all the dicks I see, and exactly what the patient is thinking!
 

Old 03-19-2012, 09:18 PM   #2510
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....Now the ER nurse and I have a very special bond, I imagine. Anytime I see her I will think of us getting shit on together.
That is some damn bond, it's like getting beat up together, or coding a patient together.

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Originally Posted by Hopeorless1 View Post
Sometimes I lie down to sleep after work and in my dreams I can hear the clerk's voice resonating, "We've got a call up for report! Who wants to take it?!"
Hahaha! Yeap. 'ding ding'



Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopeorless1 View Post
HAH! This is how i have felt in the very few times that I have given report (we do team nursing and I am not the RN so i dodge that bullet, thank god!!)! They ask so many overwhelming, yet purely silly quesitons AFTER you tell the patients' details and its like, FIGURE IT OUT YOUR FUCKING SELF!!!! LOL
I LOVE this one:

Me: The patient is in heart failure, rales, on biPAP, Lasix drip, strict I/O, daily weight. The patient was rapidly responded today for respiratory distress, treated with a positive response, and will not transfer to ICU. The patient needs and ABG in one hour.

Her: When was the last bowel movement?

Me: (blank stare)
 

Old 03-19-2012, 09:50 PM   #2511
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I enjoy the patient perspective, thanks. It is an accurate description of post cardiac cath. I will provide detailed commentary as soon as I have a chance.

Now, I wonder...about all the dicks I see, and exactly what the patient is thinking!
We're watching your eyes for the little flicker of enjoyment that sneaks out from the woman inside, your mouth for the smile that lifts the corner of your mouth; we're thinking we wish we could read your mind and discover your hidden desire to see it get hard.

There is something about a nurse that moves me deeply. I wouldn't want to fool around with another woman but if a nurse ever ah, assaulted me, I'd be unable to deny her anything...
 

Old 03-19-2012, 10:06 PM   #2512
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Richard, i read half of your story the other day but my toddler was up and wanted to watch Sesame Street so I had to cut it short, but what I read was great- I plan to finish reading it either tonight or tomorrow. To be honest, I thought about some aspects of it at work last night!! I really appreciate hearing about all of that from a patients standpoint.
Call me Woody (or Jack). AirRichard is a username derived from my fetish.

AirRichard = Exposed Dick

You asked in an IM about my exhibitionist proclivities. Well, now you have two stories that are close to home for your profession. Maybe you, too, will wonder now about the thoughts of the patient whose cock you glimpse. I have always wondered if some of the nurses have secret thoughts that would blow my mind.

I had a Filipino nurse tell me (after reporting that the night shift nurse wrote that I slept naked), "We don't see penises. They're like the wall to us." Then she looked at my dick as I prepared to shower and smiled.
 

Old 03-20-2012, 08:13 AM   #2513
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See something on facebook about someone's family member that I did not know dying. Go to local obits website to see, end up finding out one of my favorite "regulars" that always remembered me and brightened up my night has died on my stretch of days off, and nobody mentioned it to me afterward. Oh I'll miss her. She always would chat with me and loved me Epic sux.
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Old 03-20-2012, 08:57 PM   #2514
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I love my job!
 

Old 03-20-2012, 09:05 PM   #2515
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Somebody has a new avatar. *stares*

I've got a sudden taste for cantaloupe.
 

Old 03-20-2012, 09:09 PM   #2516
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See something on facebook about someone's family member that I did not know dying. Go to local obits website to see, end up finding out one of my favorite "regulars" that always remembered me and brightened up my night has died on my stretch of days off, and nobody mentioned it to me afterward. Oh I'll miss her. She always would chat with me and loved me Epic sux.
It's a compound loss over time. I'll never tell you it's something you can get used to. I accept death as a natural part of life. I still cry, sometimes. I laugh too. And what makes it all manageable is the comfort provided, the relief delivered, and the humor of our existence.
 

Old 03-20-2012, 09:29 PM   #2517
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My favorite little regular in the stinky smokey pink robe: The same story: get the lasix, some steroids, xopenex…barely maintaining a saturation on a non-re-breather, setting up biPAP.

In goes the foley catheter…

She: There she goes playing with my pussy, again.
Me: Save your breath, we will talk later!

I don't work there anymore, but I wonder how she is doing.
 

Old 03-20-2012, 09:45 PM   #2518
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We're watching your eyes for the little flicker of enjoyment that sneaks out from the woman inside, your mouth for the smile that lifts the corner of your mouth; we're thinking we wish we could read your mind and discover your hidden desire to see it get hard.

There is something about a nurse that moves me deeply. I wouldn't want to fool around with another woman but if a nurse ever ah, assaulted me, I'd be unable to deny her anything...
My eyes always flicker, and my smile can't be hidden. My face is an easy movie, and my book brain is read like a dime-store novel.

I can't remember if I have seen an erection at work, but I vaguely remember an unnecessary apology. I have seen many dicks, and washed so many balls that it is a big naked blur.

My favorite doctor order is: "Elevate Scrotum." Hm, ok. Can I stand there for 12 hours with big balls in hand?

Anything? The white top is powerful, maybe my brand of kink is out of line, and I am missing out?

I recently walked by a room with a confused male patient masturbating. I closed the curtain, walked away, and let him go at it. He was furiously jacking.
 

Old 03-20-2012, 09:48 PM   #2519
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And yes, I have seen a couple most likely going at it, and there is sinus tachycardia on the monitor. I think: This patient is ready for discharge to home. That is the physical therapy evaluation.
 

Old 03-20-2012, 10:06 PM   #2520
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My favorite little regular in the stinky smokey pink robe: The same story: get the lasix, some steroids, xopenex…barely maintaining a saturation on a non-re-breather, setting up biPAP.

In goes the foley catheter…

She: There she goes playing with my pussy, again.
Me: Save your breath, we will talk later!

I don't work there anymore, but I wonder how she is doing.
great story

I love how much you love being a nurse
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Old 03-20-2012, 10:16 PM   #2521
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My eyes always flicker, and my smile can't be hidden. My face is an easy movie, and my book brain is read like a dime-store novel.

I can't remember if I have seen an erection at work, but I vaguely remember an unnecessary apology. I have seen many dicks, and washed so many balls that it is a big naked blur.

My favorite doctor order is: "Elevate Scrotum." Hm, ok. Can I stand there for 12 hours with big balls in hand?

Anything? The white top is powerful, maybe my brand of kink is out of line, and I am missing out?

I recently walked by a room with a confused male patient masturbating. I closed the curtain, walked away, and let him go at it. He was furiously jacking.
Contradiction?

I am not sexually aggressive in my exhibitionism; more like, casual about my genitals being exposed. I know nurses see many and mine is average; I'm not going to shock and awe you. But take a peek and you've made my day. Good medicine.
 

Old 03-20-2012, 10:29 PM   #2522
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Contradiction?

I am not sexually aggressive in my exhibitionism; more like, casual about my genitals being exposed. I know nurses see many and mine is average; I'm not going to shock and awe you. But take a peek and you've made my day. Good medicine.
Nope, no contradiction: I didn't walk in and rip the sheet off of him. I knew what he was doing-- he was jacking off madly under the sheet, that was very clear. He looked at me and didn't stop. I looked at him, provided privacy-- and walked away. He was baseline confused, and doing what nature dictates without shame. That is a good sign.

Take a peek? It's a complete full body assessment, no peeking: total look, touch, and listen and that is nursing practice. Hey, if you have a pulse, a blood pressure, ventilation and orientation to expose your dick: I am happy.
 

Old 03-20-2012, 10:31 PM   #2523
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great story

I love how much you love being a nurse
Thanks!
 

Old 03-21-2012, 12:02 PM   #2524
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As I say goodbye to the neurology specialty I take away these facts:
1.All changes in neurological assessment will be assumed to be brain bleeding until proven otherwise by CT scan of the head.
2.Intravenous Mannitol takes time and strength to draw up into a syringe but the
Quote:
Reduction of intracranial pressure and treatment of cerebral edema by reducing brain mass.
^^ is a priority in the hemorrhagic neurological emergency, so stay calm and keep pulling it up through the 5 micron needle filter, while anesthesia intubates.
3.The worse headache of your life really is the worse headache of your life: and you get no pain medications here when you got blood on the brain.
 

Old 03-21-2012, 12:48 PM   #2525
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My favorite little regular in the stinky smokey pink robe: The same story: get the lasix, some steroids, xopenex…barely maintaining a saturation on a non-re-breather, setting up biPAP.In goes the foley catheter…

She: There she goes playing with my pussy, again.
Me: Save your breath, we will talk later!

I don't work there anymore, but I wonder how she is doing.
I love how not only do we remember our regulars, but their entire medicine regimen. And that is so funny. Janey, stop playing with patients pussies!
Reminds me of the time our male nurse runs in the med room and throws his entire arms in the sink, washing up to his elbows.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"I was just elbow deep in nasty, crusty pussy!" He yelled, panicked.

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My favorite doctor order is: "Elevate Scrotum." Hm, ok. Can I stand there for 12 hours with big balls in hand?
This quite literally made me 'lol'.

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Originally Posted by sweepthefloor View Post
Nope, no contradiction: I didn't walk in and rip the sheet off of him. I knew what he was doing-- he was jacking off madly under the sheet, that was very clear. He looked at me and didn't stop. I looked at him, provided privacy-- and walked away. He was baseline confused, and doing what nature dictates without shame. That is a good sign.
I think that is something that we learn as nurses ourselves- how to accept sexuality, all reaches of it, simply as natural. And its good to see when people lose their inhibitions and shame, I think, because there is too much shame in the world to begin with.
Btw thank you for letting us all post and rant and speculate on your thread Janey
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