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Old 06-06-2010, 05:02 PM   #1
cuck_wantobe
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Old 06-07-2010, 08:12 AM   #2
jeninflorida
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I can see why you like the idea, but for me that moved too quickly. Maybe most of the men here will like that. if I was at someone’s house for the first time and they blurted out about being their slave, well I think I would freak. For me there has to be a little chemistry, heat if you will (with teasing and flirting).

How old are the couples? I’m guessing that someone 21 ish will not have any issues playing strip poker (cliché) and can use that to start to teasing. The guys want to see the girls and the girls.

Maybe while the men are freshen up the drink the one wife talks about how long her husband is and the other wife lets it slip that her husband is thick and the girls tease each other about trading to try something new


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My wife and I have met a new couple at the local gym and soon become friends. From the locker room, I know he's a skinny guy, but horse hung. His wife is almost as beautiful as my naive wife, and far more sexually experienced.

We meet at their house one Friday night and decide to play trivia. I'm all but unbeatable, as my wife explains as we get out to a sizable early lead. But the other wife looks at me long and hard, then proposes a bet in which the losing couple agrees to be the winning couple's slaves for the weekend. My wife naively believes that this would involve housework. I know better, but, for reasons I can't explain, allow her to make the bet anyway. Just as inexplicably, as soon as the bet is made, I go into a state of total brain freeze.
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Old 06-10-2010, 06:43 PM   #3
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Old 06-20-2010, 06:56 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by jeninflorida View Post
I can see why you like the idea, but for me that moved too quickly. Maybe most of the men here will like that. if I was at someone’s house for the first time and they blurted out about being their slave, well I think I would freak. For me there has to be a little chemistry, heat if you will (with teasing and flirting).

How old are the couples? I’m guessing that someone 21 ish will not have any issues playing strip poker (cliché) and can use that to start to teasing. The guys want to see the girls and the girls.

Maybe while the men are freshen up the drink the one wife talks about how long her husband is and the other wife lets it slip that her husband is thick and the girls tease each other about trading to try something new
I agree. There is no buildup of sentiments and emotions. The story would be more plausible if they couples knew each other for a long time, knew of each other's sexual proclivities and threw caution to the wind for that weekend.
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Old 06-20-2010, 07:30 PM   #5
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I think it works better WITHOUT the buildup. This isn't a story that wants sentiment and emotions, it's a story that wants "SURPRISE! THAT WASN'T WHAT WE MEANT!" Though I agree it would be better if the couple had known each other for a while, rather than just for a week or so. Too much buildup might detract from the purpose of the story: shocking naive wife. In fact, I think the story would be best if SHE suggested the wager, innocently thinking housework...
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Old 06-20-2010, 07:42 PM   #6
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I think it works better WITHOUT the buildup. This isn't a story that wants sentiment and emotions, it's a story that wants "SURPRISE! THAT WASN'T WHAT WE MEANT!" Though I agree it would be better if the couple had known each other for a while, rather than just for a week or so. Too much buildup might detract from the purpose of the story: shocking naive wife. In fact, I think the story would be best if SHE suggested the wager, innocently thinking housework...
Point taken. One should establish the story's nature at the outset. By that I mean, should the story lean toward a gonzo like depiction of a foursome or should it be embellished with character development, drama, imagery, et cetera as well as carnal pleasures? The answers depend on the writer and the intended audience.
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Old 06-21-2010, 03:51 AM   #7
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It does seem that some level of collusion between the husbands is required, perhaps in the locker room while checking out each other's manhood. Otherwise, it's just too impossibly rare of a situation.

In real life, the wives would also collude, as Jeninflorida points out, but I think the whole point of the story is that the Naive Wife is gonna get the surprise lesson of her sexual life. It's fiction and requires that tension, realistic or not. The idea of the naive wife not knowing what she is getting into is the central theme.

Maybe you could visit their sex lives a bit in a quick build up. Perhaps the naive wife is really multi-orgasmic screamer in bed with her husband, who has difficulty satisfying her sexual needs once she gets going, but she is really still quite innocent about sex in general. This is actually a very common sexual situation in real life that many people will recognize and will tie the story to reality. Therefore, although she has no idea about slave/master sex, it would be believable that once she is aroused anything is possible, if shocking.

Naturally, by the end of the nth installment of the story the once naive wife should have evolved into a full blown dominatrix reducing her now much chastised husband to total humiliation. Then the cycle will be complete.
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Old 06-21-2010, 03:36 PM   #8
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One of my soon to be edited stories is about a co ed gym, with a co-ed locker room. I don’t know why I just like the idea.



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It does seem that some level of collusion between the husbands is required, perhaps in the locker room while checking out each other's manhood. Otherwise, it's just too impossibly rare of a situation.

In real life, the wives would also collude, as Jeninflorida points out, but I think the whole point of the story is that the Naive Wife is gonna get the surprise lesson of her sexual life. It's fiction and requires that tension, realistic or not. The idea of the naive wife not knowing what she is getting into is the central theme.

Maybe you could visit their sex lives a bit in a quick build up. Perhaps the naive wife is really multi-orgasmic screamer in bed with her husband, who has difficulty satisfying her sexual needs once she gets going, but she is really still quite innocent about sex in general. This is actually a very common sexual situation in real life that many people will recognize and will tie the story to reality. Therefore, although she has no idea about slave/master sex, it would be believable that once she is aroused anything is possible, if shocking.

Naturally, by the end of the nth installment of the story the once naive wife should have evolved into a full blown dominatrix reducing her now much chastised husband to total humiliation. Then the cycle will be complete.
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Old 06-21-2010, 03:40 PM   #9
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[quote=cuck_wantobe;34335649]
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Originally Posted by jeninflorida View Post
If I was at someone’s house for the first time and they blurted out about being their slave, well I think I would freak./QUOTE]

Yes, because for you, "slave" has more sinister (and, accurate) connotations. But, for the wife in the story, she's simply thinking housework. And, sure they'll win, she's thinking about all the chores she's going to be having the other couple do.

The husband, who is poorly endowed btw, has no such illusions. The image that comes instantly to his mind is of being strapped to a chair, forced to watch, while his naive young wife kneels with her face in the other wife's muff, while "Mr. Donkey Dick" drills her from behind. And he's shocked to note that this image arouses him.

hum...gives new meaning to the work housework. I can spin that into a story where a couple short on cash starts to think of new ways to make money. and in time the wife flirts with one of the husbands, and she learns he's very dominate and takes control of this couple.
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Old 06-24-2010, 03:04 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jeninflorida View Post
One of my soon to be edited stories is about a co ed gym, with a co-ed locker room. I don’t know why I just like the idea.
Gosh, I know why.

That actually sounds like a great business plan! But remember: Location, Location, Location.

Reminds me of the novel/movie Starship Troopers where in the future the Marines are about 50 percent female and they shower and bunk together with the guys. Conscription not required. Duh. Great innovation by author Robert Heinlein.
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Old 06-25-2010, 10:41 AM   #11
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That part was interesting. I remember her on 90210, and she’s been on a couple of other movies (she’s hot and slutty, yummy). I think a lot of men would have problems with a co-ed locker room (that whole size thing).

I know that I started a story about this, now I just have to find it

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Gosh, I know why.

That actually sounds like a great business plan! But remember: Location, Location, Location.

Reminds me of the novel/movie Starship Troopers where in the future the Marines are about 50 percent female and they shower and bunk together with the guys. Conscription not required. Duh. Great innovation by author Robert Heinlein.
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Old 06-29-2010, 04:54 PM   #12
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Old 06-29-2010, 05:00 PM   #13
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