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Old 05-17-2010, 12:40 PM   #76
Stella_Omega
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I've fucked at least 200 people because I wanted to know more about them, and fucking someone can tell me a lot. And because they turned me on.
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Old 05-17-2010, 03:42 PM   #77
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ownedsubgal View Post
"self-contempt?" possibly, who knows. personally i don't understand why promiscuity continues to get such a bad rap...(defining promiscuity by sheer numbers and casualness, that is). it's not right for everyone, possibly not even natural for most (not that monogamy is either, but that's a different topic), but does that make it some sort of universal evil? does that make it inevitably psychologically damaging and physically self-destructive?? i just don't buy that.
There are different reasons why some people are promiscuous. When you're doing it for the wrong or misguided reasons, it can seriously damage a person's self esteem.
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Old 05-17-2010, 06:43 PM   #78
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Originally Posted by satindesire View Post
There are different reasons why some people are promiscuous. When you're doing it for the wrong or misguided reasons, it can seriously damage a person's self esteem.
yes this is true, but that can be said of absolutely any and everything, including deciding to go through life having sex only with the person or people one loves.
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Old 05-17-2010, 06:50 PM   #79
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[quote=ownedsubgal;34135891]yes this is true, but that can be said of absolutely any and everything, including deciding to go through life having sex only with the person or people one loves.[/QUOTE

How do you define the difference between having sex with someone you love and someone you don't love - to me sometimes it's a fine line and other times a big difference in intensity...
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Old 05-17-2010, 06:50 PM   #80
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Quote:
Originally Posted by satindesire View Post
There are different reasons why some people are promiscuous. When you're doing it for the wrong or misguided reasons, it can seriously damage a person's self esteem.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ownedsubgal View Post
yes this is true, but that can be said of absolutely any and everything, including deciding to go through life having sex only with the person or people one loves.
Don't you two go all 'Bloved' on us, now. We'll have to put you in separate rooms.
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Old 05-17-2010, 06:52 PM   #81
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What the fuck is wrong with promiscuity?

I'm constantly surprised by how conservative and prudish this board is sometimes.
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Old 05-17-2010, 06:55 PM   #82
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Quote:
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What the fuck is wrong with promiscuity?

I'm constantly surprised by how conservative and prudish this board is sometimes.
Not me.

The whole of literotica is generally conservative and mono-hetero, if you hang around it long enough. I have made some wonderful friends though...
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Old 05-17-2010, 07:22 PM   #83
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What the fuck is wrong with promiscuity?

I'm constantly surprised by how conservative and prudish this board is sometimes.
Wow, take a Midol.
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Old 05-17-2010, 08:05 PM   #84
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[quote=DaneCopenhagen;34135942]
Quote:
Originally Posted by ownedsubgal View Post
yes this is true, but that can be said of absolutely any and everything, including deciding to go through life having sex only with the person or people one loves.[/QUOTE

How do you define the difference between having sex with someone you love and someone you don't love - to me sometimes it's a fine line and other times a big difference in intensity...
honestly, for me the only difference between having sex with someone i love and sex with someone i do not, is that with the person i love i can be 100% myself, meaning i don't have to feign enthusiasm or arousal or anything else. i can just be.

otherwise, it's really all just sex. sex is very different with every man i've ever been with, but every person is different and the chemistry between us is always different. but none of those differences have to do with the "L" word being a factor or not.
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Old 05-17-2010, 08:57 PM   #85
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Is it really sex if its not rough?

Really, otherwise it's just cuddling with genital stimulation.

Actually I once walked in on a roommate with his girl, and it took me a few seconds to realize, holy crap, they are having sex... I think. I've jsut never seen so little movement.

I suppose their are some exceptions, like when you are tiered but want to fuck before sleep, so you just do the dolphin kick thing. That's more along the lines of masturbating though, using a someone else.

I don't know, weird but it makes sense to me.

As for promiscuity, I think its disgusting having sex with people you aren't that intimate with. When I don't even want to be near enough to smell your breath, no way I'll have sex with you. And I don't like people, with few exceptions, so monogamy, it's the best.
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Old 05-17-2010, 09:25 PM   #86
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yes this is true, but that can be said of absolutely any and everything, including deciding to go through life having sex only with the person or people one loves.
Which do you think has a higher body count for actual misery caused? I'll bet anything it's this as a mandatory expectation.
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Old 05-17-2010, 09:42 PM   #87
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Which do you think has a higher body count for actual misery caused? I'll bet anything it's this as a mandatory expectation.
actually i wouldn't attempt to answer that with any authority, but in "real life" i haven't met too many miserable promiscuous people. but i have been faced with some real horror stories from people who were totally blindsided and devastated directly because they were sexually devoted to one person and one person only. like, the chick i met in college who got herpes from her boyfriend of 7 years...the only man she had ever had sex with. her misery was pretty intense, as on top of being betrayed, she felt certain no other man could ever possibly want her. obviously, he wasn't quite so devoted. but the fact is that many (perhaps most) sexual monogamy-minded folk believe condoms and such to be unnecessary as they waited until they fully trusted and loved that one special person. sluts like myself otoh are more likely to view condom use as a given, not to mention regular testing and just plain getting yourself checked out.
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Old 05-17-2010, 10:19 PM   #88
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actually i wouldn't attempt to answer that with any authority, but in "real life" i haven't met too many miserable promiscuous people. but i have been faced with some real horror stories from people who were totally blindsided and devastated directly because they were sexually devoted to one person and one person only. like, the chick i met in college who got herpes from her boyfriend of 7 years...the only man she had ever had sex with. her misery was pretty intense, as on top of being betrayed, she felt certain no other man could ever possibly want her. obviously, he wasn't quite so devoted. but the fact is that many (perhaps most) sexual monogamy-minded folk believe condoms and such to be unnecessary as they waited until they fully trusted and loved that one special person. sluts like myself otoh are more likely to view condom use as a given, not to mention regular testing and just plain getting yourself checked out.
What I got from that story is the betrayal of him cheating on her was what was making her miserable, NOT the fact that she had only slept with him and really WANTED to sleep with other people.

My story is the exact opposite of yours. I run into a LOT of promiscuous people that are miserable, and several who, once they have grown out of promiscuity, are much happier.

I never said that ALL promiscuous people are miserable, but my opinion has been colored by my experiences in that way. The people I've befriended and known who have slept around freely without attempting any kind of relationship are doing it because of bad reasons, I.E. bad home life, poor parenting, needing attention for self-esteem purposes, looking for love but mistaking sex for love, etc.

I'm not saying YOU ARE A BAD PERSON AND YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF! Please don't put that kind of label on me. I'm not a "conservative and prudish" person as some like to imply. My one and only point is that my view on promiscuity has been mostly negative, and that is why I strongly advocate getting to know the people you sleep with.

Here's my reason: In my eyes, abortion isn't birth control...And I can still get pregnant using condoms. If I fuck some random guy, get pregnant, and don't get an abortion, am I going to raise that child by myself, not ever letting him know, or am I going to tell him?

And say I DO tell him, and he wants to help me, but we two just can't get along in a civil way? I've seen this happen, this isn't wild conjecture. That child will be raised in an unhealthy household full of hostility just because I wanted to get laid by a stranger.

To me, risking bringing children into the world via random sex isn't worth the damage it can cause to that child's life. You don't have to defend your position, especially not to me! You can do what YOU want. You're free to live the way you are happiest! You obviously love being a "slut" (a word that YOU used!), so more power to you! Go be happy, I'm glad for you, honestly.

-I- would rather know that I can at least be civil and even better, friendly, with the people I fuck. And in order to KNOW that, I have to KNOW that person. Even if it's for just a few months. That's -me-. My opinion about my reality, which I am not trying to push on you.
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Old 05-17-2010, 10:25 PM   #89
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Well I am still a virgin. But, I have always had the fantacy of being taken, forced to do things. To be taken with no regard not me or my pleasure.
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Old 05-17-2010, 10:59 PM   #90
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sd, no need to get defensive (which perhaps you aren't, but that's the vibe i got reading your post). you certainly did not come across to me as particularly prudish, conservative or insulting. however you did/do seem to have a negative view on promiscuity in general, not simply in relation to you personally. and i was simply curious about how you and others come to such negative feelings about non-monogamous sex...you went a long way in helping me to understand that in your post above. if the people you have personally encountered in life who engage in casual sex with many partners are doing so when it is against their very nature, hence making them miserable, then i can certainly understand that coloring your perspective.

personally i have always been a strong proponent of following one's true nature, whatever that may be and however unpopular or unaccepted it may be in "mainstream" society. of course for most of us, that is far easier said than done. i have not always "loved" being a slut, i was quite miserable about it until maybe 7 or 8 years ago. what made me miserable was the fact that others looked down on me for being that way, that people would not accept me that way, and i believed no man would ever want or love me for his very own because i was that way. but, perhaps strangely, i never felt that it was "wrong" for me to be promiscuous. how could it be wrong when i could be no other way? it is not something i chose. i just felt that it made me a freak, an outcast, a status i've always hated.

of course now i've realized that there is great value in being a slut, that us sluts can do the world quite a bit of good. but it was a long and painful process to get to this point of total acceptance and even a bit of pride.

and while i understand your point about the pregnancy issue, especially if you are someone who desires children, the risk factor simply isn't high enough for me to think of casual sex itself as not worth having. and i say this as someone who has become pregnant as a result of casual sex. it was an emotionally trying time, but it was not the end of the world and it led to some well-learned lessons.

just as you have met many promiscuous people who are hurt because of the life they live, i have met many mono-minded people who are hurt due to their naivete and lack of experience. i also believe there is great value in just exploring the possibilities in life, because well...that's what life is about, is it not?
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Old 05-17-2010, 11:18 PM   #91
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Does anyone know any miserable promiscuous men? Does anyone know any men who are called promiscuous? If we were encouraged to have the same sexual freedom as boys, it would be interesting to see if most women still had hangups about having different sexual partners.

Getting pregnant is a risk. Contracting STIs is also a risk. We could really mitigate those risks a lot as a society if we (a) taught women about their cycles and timing for conception and (b) got over our obsession with PIV sex.

There was also a study recently about women on the pill and how they get married, go off the pill, and then their sex drive and desire change and they suddenly realize they're sexually incompatible with their partner. I'm not blaming my first marriage on the pill or anything, but it would have been nice if someone had filled me in on that info. I honestly thought that my sex drive wasn't affected, since I wanted sex 2x a week. Evidently you can want it more than that.
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Old 05-17-2010, 11:25 PM   #92
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Does anyone know any miserable promiscuous men? Does anyone know any men who are called promiscuous? If we were encouraged to have the same sexual freedom as boys, it would be interesting to see if most women still had hangups about having different sexual partners.

Getting pregnant is a risk. Contracting STIs is also a risk. We could really mitigate those risks a lot as a society if we (a) taught women about their cycles and timing for conception and (b) got over our obsession with PIV sex.
whaaa??!!?! i was with you until that statement there....get over PIV sex?! never!! i cannot fathom a life without it, that is crazy talk woman!!

on a different note, your last paragraph makes me wonder if perhaps my low sex drive is partially related to my being on birth control for so long.
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Old 05-17-2010, 11:31 PM   #93
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PIV has a risk for pregnancy.

Anal has an increased risk of contracting STIs

Cause of the lube issue, and the colon being meant to absorb fluids as fast as possible, it makes for a bad combination.
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Old 05-17-2010, 11:36 PM   #94
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whaaa??!!?! i was with you until that statement there....get over PIV sex?! never!! i cannot fathom a life without it, that is crazy talk woman!!

on a different note, your last paragraph makes me wonder if perhaps my low sex drive is partially related to my being on birth control for so long.
Ha ha, I'm a fan myself, but look, that's how you make babies. It's also one of the ways to spread diseases. If teenagers all did mutual masturbation instead of PIV sex, then they'd be a lot safer. I'm not saying they should never do it, but as a way to reduce risk, getting into other forms of sexual exploration is kind of an easy solution.

Have you considered a non-hormonal birth control? LOL osg, what if you got off the pill and became multi-orgasmic?
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Old 05-17-2010, 11:40 PM   #95
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Have you considered a non-hormonal birth control? LOL osg, what if you got off the pill and became multi-orgasmic?
If you feel better with a hormonal birth control an IUD can have fewer systemic effects than the pill. Keep all those lovely hormones in your uterus where they belong!
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Old 05-17-2010, 11:42 PM   #96
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Does anyone know any miserable promiscuous men? Does anyone know any men who are called promiscuous? If we were encouraged to have the same sexual freedom as boys, it would be interesting to see if most women still had hangups about having different sexual partners.
You know-- due to some odd circumstances, I had that kind of freedom, or at least, i perceived myself as having that kind of freedom, because I didn't give a fuck about what people thought of me. Nowadays, I do give a fuck, and-- i do perceive myself as having less freedom. But so do the men of my age too, I think.
Quote:
There was also a study recently about women on the pill and how they get married, go off the pill, and then their sex drive and desire change and they suddenly realize they're sexually incompatible with their partner. I'm not blaming my first marriage on the pill or anything, but it would have been nice if someone had filled me in on that info. I honestly thought that my sex drive wasn't affected, since I wanted sex 2x a week. Evidently you can want it more than that.
Somewhere I remember reading that it might be pheromonal-- that a woman on the pill 'reads' pheromones quite differently than a woman off the pill...

Now I'm going to go nuts trying to find that paper. Grr!
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Old 05-17-2010, 11:46 PM   #97
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Ha ha, I'm a fan myself, but look, that's how you make babies. It's also one of the ways to spread diseases. If teenagers all did mutual masturbation instead of PIV sex, then they'd be a lot safer. I'm not saying they should never do it, but as a way to reduce risk, getting into other forms of sexual exploration is kind of an easy solution.

Have you considered a non-hormonal birth control? LOL osg, what if you got off the pill and became multi-orgasmic?

one day my goal is to be on non-hormonal birth control (or better, just get the tubes tied), but the right option just hasn't come along yet. Daddy is unwilling to risk the potential complications of the Essure procedure, and other non-hormonal options are not recommended for those who have multiple sex partners due to increased risks of infection. *sigh*

i have been off the pill at various periods over the years for maybe 2 or 3 months at a time. if being off the pill for like a year or something suddenly transformed me from non-orgasmic to multi-orgasmic, i would be highly freaked out and disturbed. it took a long time for me to like me dag nabbit, i'm too old and tired to get to know and like a whole new me lol.
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Old 05-17-2010, 11:46 PM   #98
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For some women the hormones have a negative effect on their sex drive, but for some it is positive. The fact that a woman on the pill evidently feels safer having sex can make for a more sex happy attitude.
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Old 05-17-2010, 11:47 PM   #99
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and oh yeah, on the preaching alternatives to PIV sex thing...i know i'm out of touch and whatnot, but isn't oral sex the big thing among the kids today?
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Old 05-17-2010, 11:48 PM   #100
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Hate the pill. Hate, hate, hate. I had no idea what a huge effect it had on me - physically and emotionally - until I got off it. I did IUD for ten years...much better, IMO. If I needed to worry about birth control now, I would probably do the Mirena Coil.

I was pretty promiscuous as a youngster. Don't regret it. I had different needs at 20 than I have at 40...sleep being one of them, lol.
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