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Old 05-17-2015, 09:12 PM   #1
Kmhunt89
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I guess I'm in need of some advice

Hello,
I'm curious about a dom/sub relationship. Just wondering if anyone would like to discuss this topic with me, maybe give me
Some insight.
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Old 05-17-2015, 09:41 PM   #2
Terranim
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What are you looking for in it?
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Old 05-17-2015, 09:51 PM   #3
Kmhunt89
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I think a relationship with guidance, where the man would have control over my daily life. I would want him to be stern, but also caring and loving. When I think about this type a relationship it appeals to me.
I enjoy daydreaming about it
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Old 05-17-2015, 10:24 PM   #4
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It sounds like you're looking for a constant, long-term form of submission.

One of the most important aspects of a relationship like that is trust. This is someone who you must be reasonably willing to spend your whole life with and who you trust very, very deeply. They must also be someone who is mature and experienced enough to know when they are nearing the line. After all, this kind of relationship could turn abusive easily if you have the wrong partner.

Given your inexperience, I would suggest starting out very slow. Don't just jump in fully. You need the time to build up trust. The two of you will also need that time working your way up to get to know each other, which in turn will help your partner recognize when they are getting close to too far without needing you to say something.

Now, this is just general starting out advice, but it should give you a start.
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Old 05-17-2015, 10:43 PM   #5
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Welcome to the forum. Our stickies have some resources you can read through to get an idea of what you're looking for. You can find the library Here.

Lots of stuff in that link that can be helpful. Here's another helpful link.


Look through the available pages and you'll see other discussions for new members. The advice is usually the same. Research and see what you're interested in, narrow down your questions and come back. Or just join the many discussions already started.
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Old 05-18-2015, 02:44 AM   #6
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Take your time with this. Moving too fast can get you in too deep sooner than you want. Maturity is key in a partner. Someone who knows how it feels to experience new things should understand that you want to take your time and learn as you go.

Some people are more understanding with newbies than others. You should be able to go at a pace that you feel safe with. You should be able to experience all of these new sensations, savor them and decide what you want and what you don't want. That takes time. If you find a partner who isn't willing to proceed at a slow pace, drop him. If he can't cool his jets enough that you can learn, he's not worth it.
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Old 05-18-2015, 04:26 AM   #7
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I can only echo what has been written so far. Trust and communication are vital as it reading everything you can find on the subject... and by that I mean articles and information pieces, not some writers fantasy.

Know thy self.

You say you want someone to have control of your daily life... but how much. DO you want them to control every tiny aspect of it (when you eat, what you eat, when you go to the toilet) or just some aspects of it? Do you need them to work around your career and hobbies or do you expect them to control that also and run the risk of your dom's orders getting you into trouble at work?

Grand sweeping statements make great fantasy but real life is very nuanced. Make sure you have a good understanding of what you want so you can make sure you find someone willing to accommodate you needs.

Jumping in blind is a sure fire way of getting hurt, maybe even abused.
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Old 05-22-2015, 11:36 AM   #8
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Much like everyone else has stated here on the thread. You need to be able to take things at a pace that is comfortable for you, have time to enjoy the experiences and decided if it goes on the like it or don't like it side of things. You need to know you can trust your partner and its going to take time to build that, I know its cliche but Rome wasn't built in a day. Communication is super important, if you don't say that you are unhappy, scared, ecstatic, horny, want to be cuddled, etc. your partner may not know. Not everyone is good at reading the body language and no one is a mind reader. Ground rules are important too, say you like to be spanked or something of the like but are terrified of someone using a paddle, that's definitely something you and your partner need to talk about before taking that step.

I hope this was helpful
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