Originally Posted by CutieMouse
Okay. Do you want punishment in your dynamic? And are you wanting "play" punishment (you bad, bad girl! I have to spank you now!), or are you talking about actual *punishment* (something designed to reinforce a rule that's been broken)?
If your partner isn't very experienced, he also has a lifetime of conditioning to overcome. Boys aren't supposed to be rough or physically aggressive towards girls. It's not really fair to expect him to go from zero to DOM; give the guy some space to find his way.
How's your communication? Do you share ideas with him? What are each of your limits? How do each of you define your idea of Master & slave?
That is SO true...my first hardcore session could have ended in disaster...my then fiance wanted me to tie her up after hearing of a tie-and-tease session with a previous girlfriend.
Once secure, she said "Spank me!" I love-swatted..."Harder!", then "HARDER!" I have NO IDEA where it came from but I slapped her across the face. I have NEVER had the balls to do anything like that before or since. She seemed to love it at the time, but I was seriously discomfited at getting a hard-on doing that.
I'm bunking with a friend while I rebuild his other place. He's young, tall, strong, and meek. He cannot understand at ALL why a woman might WANT it "rough". He is very much afraid he would do serious damage if he even tried. Silly really he is sensitive, isn't a klutz...he COULD figure it out, but his conditioning will not allow it.