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Old 10-02-2016, 09:12 AM   #1
Sexstory61
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When did you first realize you were submissive or dominant? (No underage content!)

I was young when I first saw a movie called 9 to 5 with Dolly Parton seeing the women in that movie take control of their boss and dominating him I was glued to that movie watched it over and over and over again

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Old 10-02-2016, 02:10 PM   #2
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I have always been a dominant. I have this thing about not taking orders. From anyone. Even as a kid I wouldn't follow orders unless I wanted to do whatever it was anyway. I could be forced to do things but that's not the same thing as obeying.
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Old 10-02-2016, 02:20 PM   #3
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No option for a true switch?

I learned I liked being submissive in high school when the only way I could make my gf comfortable giving me a blowjob was being handcuffed naked to her parents kitchen chair. She liked that a little TOO much.

I also learned I love being dominant the first time I just growled at a girl on a dead end road by the airport, pushed her face down on the hood of my car, and just TOOK her. Without saying a word. She sent me a message on Facebook 20yrs later saying she still gets wet thinking about that.


So I'm greedy, I enjoy both.
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Old 10-02-2016, 03:22 PM   #4
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Very young but I had terms for it and accepted it only in my 40's. Would that we'd had internet back then . . .
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Old 10-02-2016, 03:29 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Porkwarrior View Post
No option for a true switch?

I learned I liked being submissive in high school when the only way I could make my gf comfortable giving me a blowjob was being handcuffed naked to her parents kitchen chair. She liked that a little TOO much.

I also learned I love being dominant the first time I just growled at a girl on a dead end road by the airport, pushed her face down on the hood of my car, and just TOOK her. Without saying a word. She sent me a message on Facebook 20yrs later saying she still gets wet thinking about that.


So I'm greedy, I enjoy both.
Mmhh very hot pork warrior.
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Old 10-02-2016, 04:15 PM   #6
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I don't have a submissive personality or disposition, and never have. But where sex is involved I prefer to submit. I like to be used, fucked, rather than the tender "love making". So I guess I realized I craved something rougher around 18 when I became sexually active. I didn't know at the time that's what I wanted, but looking back.... Hindsight is always 20/20.

As I've gotten older, and found my Master I'm becoming more submissive in my everyday. But as in any relationship, we're a partnership. I could never be completely submissive, he could not be completely dominant. We have kids, so we work together on most things.
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Old 10-02-2016, 04:32 PM   #7
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At a very young age, I tied up other kids while we were playing outside. I loved that. I remember cars slowing down and people staring, and with good reason.
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Old 10-02-2016, 04:53 PM   #8
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I've always been in charge tho I'm not ambitious or covet status. I'm in charge and the world says NO PROBLEM.

Because dominant isn't about playing sissy games at LIT with unstable bipolar girls, its about doing what needs doing, fuck anyone who doesn't like it. My outcome is what matters.
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Old 10-02-2016, 05:07 PM   #9
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Quote:
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At a very young age, I tied up other kids while we were playing outside. I loved that. I remember cars slowing down and people staring, and with good reason.
Some kids had all the fun!

I was always a princess. My brothers and my uncles protected me, took care of me. If I had a problem, I went to them. I was the one who took care of them - nurturing, making sure they had snacks at ball games, etc as we got older.

I was in my 20s when someone told me about BDSM, he was a Master - and I wanted to try it. It lasted a few months. I still didn't put a label on it until last year. I just knew how I wanted to submit, and I finally figured out what I wanted after coming here and asking questions from people who lurk but don't post (I don't know why people have an aversion to them!). I've spent the last year figuring me out, growing, wanting more. I want to live it in a relationship, 24/7.
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Old 10-02-2016, 05:31 PM   #10
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Old 10-02-2016, 05:37 PM   #11
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I had fantasies of control when I was pretty young. Introverted personality, I tended to enjoy the company most of people who were followers, as I was very independent and liked doing my own thing. When I got to about 28 I had a relationship with a girl who was very submissive and looked up to me, and it was fucking amazing sexually. It was cemented from there.
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Old 10-02-2016, 05:44 PM   #12
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Quote:
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Mmhh very hot pork warrior.
I've had some fun times, on both sides.
Like I said, I can be greedy. Bruises are love letters written on flesh. My flesh, her flesh, as long as I get to feed off her energy, it doesn't really matter.

I've got a half written story where a guy starts by taking her over the arm of a sofa...then ends up tied at the wrists by her stockings and she enjoys leaving her mark.

So yeah, us true switches need a space too. It just won't be too safe.

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Old 10-02-2016, 06:33 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by Porkwarrior View Post
I've had some fun times, on both sides.
Like I said, I can be greedy. Bruises are love letters written on flesh. My flesh, her flesh, as long as I get to feed off her energy, it doesn't really matter.

I've got a half written story where a guy starts by taking her over the arm of a sofa...then ends up tied at the wrists by her stockings and she enjoys leaving her mark.

So yeah, us true switches need a space too. It just won't be too safe.

This is great.

Me? In my teens, but I couldn't verbalize it.
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Old 10-02-2016, 06:34 PM   #14
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Quote:
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At a very young age, I tied up other kids while we were playing outside. I loved that. I remember cars slowing down and people staring, and with good reason.
Is that because you never untied them?
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Old 10-02-2016, 07:25 PM   #15
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Is that because you never untied them?
Um. I did. After a while. I really enjoyed them wanting to be untied and then me ... not.

Eventually I'd untie them.

Looking back, it was nothing more than bullying and I shoulda been given a serious talking to (or more), but what stuck with me was how much I loved the sadistic part, even at that young age.

And no, I never tortured animals or other serial killer traits (I actually tried to adopt every bird, turtle or snake I could find, much to my mom's chagrin).
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Old 10-02-2016, 07:42 PM   #16
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I think becoming sexually aware pre-internet and without the plethora of porn and images and terms means that labels like "submissive" and "dominant" weren't really in my vocabulary as a way to understand my sexuality until rather recently. I was mostly just me. And my life experiences have shaped me - both in making me perhaps less aware and unwilling to access my "submissive" tendencies than might have been desirable in a perfect sexually judgment free world.

Hindsight being 20/20... I would say that being kissed aggressively and possessively from my very first encounters really sent me reeling. I did not want it all soft and with a lot of checking and sweetness. I wanted my hair pulled back, my neck exposed, and that feeling of being a bit ravaged. Not many boys knew how to do that. The ones who did... I could not get enough of them.

It was not until I discovered Lit that I really understood the full spectrum of control and submissive behaviours and that a woman who is a feminist and powerful and competent could also be sexually submissive. I am grateful to be able to embrace this duality.
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Old 10-05-2016, 06:22 PM   #17
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Looking back I can see the first evidence of my pyl tilting in my early teens.
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Old 10-05-2016, 08:16 PM   #18
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I met a random taxi driver online when I was young.
He came over and we fucked and he smacked me around and said mean things to me.
It was awesome and I was hooked. Took me a couple years to figure out WHAT it was.
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Old 10-05-2016, 08:38 PM   #19
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I was having sexual fantasies before I even realized what sexual fantasies were. There was always an element of control in them, either pyl or PYL. Those elements cemented as I developed sexually and psychologically.

Like many, I had no idea what it was until later. I was actually in my late teens when my partner at the time (several years older than me) responding to something I did, said.. Oh, you're one of those. When I was confused, he explained to me what I was We explored pyl and PLY, and we even had several mini poly relationships within our relationship over the four or so years that we were together. He was an excellent partner to explore with
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Old 10-05-2016, 08:56 PM   #20
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I think almost as soon as I could find examples hidden in vanilla wrappers. Little things like the playfighting that resulted in me getting overly aroused if I was overpowered. I did not know it at the time and just brushed my feelings under the carpet of adrenaline. So many times after these little play fight sessions I would get myself off on the feelings it evoked. The romance books that had the rape scenes, I used to scour the shelves at the used book stores for the authors I knew would have this element. A few small things, I never knew what life the world had to offer for so long. I don't share my inner feelings easily and it took awhile to let my needs and hopes out, pretty sure I still have not delved all the way through the layers.

These were later broadened and developed with the help of a few special Persons. I think my horizons are just going to broaden more and more.
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Old 10-05-2016, 09:06 PM   #21
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I think almost as soon as I could find examples hidden in vanilla wrappers.
This ^
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Old 10-08-2016, 07:07 PM   #22
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I generally have always ended up in relationships and friendships where I end up being the strong one and the one to take care of others. This happened even though I've always been drawn and attracted to strong and dominant personalities that could take care of me instead.

The word "submission" has always been synonymous with "weak" for me. So I could never accept it from the place of strength I was told I was "supposed" to be in. I tried, years ago, when I was around 19-20, but th Domme I met then was a very bad example of the scene AND I wasn't really ready. I partially think the right match would have helped break down my "brat" but I'm not overly sure. Anyway... The whole experience left a bad taste in my mouth more than anything.

So it wasn't until recently that I overtly led myself to travel back to those realizations and desires. As soon as i did Mistress arrived soo... I guess timing works the way that it should.

If the question is in regards to realization as it relates to acceptance I would have to say I realized I was submissive very recently. If the questions is in regards to that when I had that first inkling.... it was probably long ago when my first boyfriend told me, very sternly not to do something (probably for my own good, I used to cause havoc) and I became aroused even as I stopped, like I was told.

Hindsight...
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Old 10-09-2016, 12:46 AM   #23
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I first realized...

I used to sneak and watch my uncles porns on vhs lol. He had the best selection of threesomes and orgies and I'd never get more turned on than I would watching a man or the men manhandle the woman.

once I reached my thirties, i started saying what i wanted. I met this man who was so perfect. In sex all he wanted was to hear my screams and cries and moans. Making me take 12 inches deep while he'd bite me, or spank me or choke me. Just knowing that when he came home he would make me take it whether I wanted to or not, or i'd purposely make him upset so that he could hurt me.

I wanted more time with him, but things didnt work out as planned... Now i want more pleasure and pain.

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Old 10-09-2016, 09:59 AM   #24
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This thread is dangerously close to violating Lit's rules on underage content. Please do not post details about sexual activity before age 18.
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Old 10-09-2016, 11:02 AM   #25
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This thread is dangerously close to violating Lit's rules on underage content. Please do not post details about sexual activity before age 18.
Thanks. While it's a shame that that's a factor in the context of a thread of personal histories, I realize that's something mods have to worry about that wouldn't occur to me.

Maybe from here forward posters should use euphemisms. I nominate chores.

I remember the first time I found out how fun it was to clean my room. I had no idea there was such a thing as room-cleaning at that point.
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