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Old 06-15-2012, 11:26 AM   #1
FurryFury
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Mental Illness

So, on a recent thread about what a PYL needs from a pyl lack of mental illness was mentioned.

Mental illness is often mentioned to explain (erroneously, IMO,) why people are into fringe behavior such as BDSM.

How do you feel about mental illness which, btw, seems rampant in Western Society today?

As someone with an Adult ADHD with depression child it breaks my heart to see the struggles she goes through every day. She is quite the warrior fighting battles by the score. OTOH, while not comfortable, having a Dr. Who brain can be quite miraculous in some ways.

FF

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Old 06-15-2012, 12:46 PM   #2
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Originally Posted by FurryFury View Post
So, on a recent thread about what a PYL needs from a pyl lack of mental illness was mentioned.

Mental illness is often mentioned to explain (erroneously, IMO,) why people are into fringe behavior such as BDSM.

How do you feel about mental illness which, btw, seems rampant in Western Society today?
I think "mental illness ... [being] rampant in Western Society today" is composed of a number of factors, though I wonder if it's truly more prevalent in our society than others, or rather more diagnosed and fragmented. Among those factors, I believe, are these:
  • Overcrowding. It seems there is a higher proportion of "mentally ill" people in urban and mega-urban surroundings than in more rural settings. Studies have shown that when a population of animals, particularly carnivorous or omnivorous animals, grows to a certain density, their behavior becomes equivalent to human "mental illness." Strangely, a few of those studies have indicated that if individuals from that overcrowded situation are removed to a lower density population, many of them revert to "normal" behavior patterns.
  • Overdiagnosis. I believe (without any studies to back up my belief) that the high proportion of doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists, etc., to our population as a whole contributes to their (the doctors, etc.) "needing" to justify their existence (and lifestyle) by diagnosing even the smallest psychological issues as being important and needing either therapy or drugs or both. Just as the U.S., with its highest per capita ranking in lawyersopulation, leads the world in lawsuits (see "frivolous" in any dictionary ), I think the high number of medical/psychological professionals to population in Western society contributes to the high number of diagnoses.
  • General wimpiness in a largely sedentary population. Western society has become, for the most part, a society of people who sit on their duffs WAY too much rather than getting out and *doing,* as our forebears did. I think this in itself contributes to a certain portion of the mental illnesses we suffer, as it is not our nature - as shown by tens of thousands of years of historic and pre-historic struggles to survive - to simply sit around. Again, I don't have "facks 'n figgers" to illustrate this, but a lifetime of observing people has led me to believe that there is a much lower percentage of "mental illness" in people who lead a vigorous, active life than in those who spend the majority of their time in a chair answering phones, pounding keyboards, or tapping figures and formulae into spreadsheets.
I'm sure there are other factors that contribute; those are just three that spring immediately to *my* mind.


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Originally Posted by FurryFury View Post
As someone with an Adult ADHD with depression child it breaks my heart to see the struggles she goes through every day. She is quite the warrior fighting battles by the score. OTOH, while not comfortable, having a Dr. Who brain can be quite miraculous in some ways.

FF

My son was diagnosed ADHD/depression (and *very* high IQ, higher than mine or his mother's) early on. Through a myriad of cycles of psychoactive drugs and talk therapy, he seemed to find little or no relief from his symptoms, though he did try and sometimes succeeded for short periods of time. He essentially divorced me when his mother and I divorced, and I've had no contact with him for about a decade. I hope he's found a way (or wayS) to deal with his issues and is becoming (or has become) a happy and productive adult in whatever ways can make him happy and give him peace. I empathize with your and her battles, and wish both of you all the best in life.
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Old 06-15-2012, 01:00 PM   #3
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Western Society tends to define an individual by what can be seen on the surface, and it begins almost instantly. A simple 'how are you' leads to an automated answer: 'fine, pretty good, I'm doing alright.' No one wants to dump their troubles into the lap of a stranger, and many will even restrain the communication from a trusted friend or family member--they see no good reason to compound those they love with more stress. Needless to say that if a confident breaks the mum rule, the lesson can be lifelong. Adult politics. *shrugs*

Voyeur style, Society inappropriately ogles citizens for class status and appropriate morality. If a person is rich, good looking and has a family the individual cannot afford empathy. If a person is poor, ugly and has a family the individual cannot afford respect. Singles are viewed as lonely, defunct beings. Abject Morality is the name of the game. Leaving out deranged murderers and the like, the rest of the normals form their own cultures, and the remaining voyeurs lable the normals deviants.

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Old 06-15-2012, 02:56 PM   #4
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I was diagnosed (finally!) with ADD when I was in college. My first Dom was the one who figured it out and sent me to his little sister's doctor to confirm it. The fact that certain illicit substances didn't behave the same way on me as 'normal' people was a big red flag for him.

I was treated with meds and behavior modification/therapy for 2 years. I gradually tapered off the meds and found employment that suited my temperament. I need structure and routine, BUT I also need variety. I had set out to be a history major and ended up as a medical assistant. LOL My favorite job, ever, was as an ER clerk at a major NYC hospital. I had a regular day job with a specialist, as well, but my alternating weekends in crazy-ville were wonderful.

Now I'm self-employed and often adrift, but I get things done thanks to Master's guidance and nudges (or more, eek!)

Curiously enough, I developed significant depression during a period in my life when I was attempting to be vanilla. Long story short, I think I'm more than mildly addicted to endorphins. It's not just our pain play, though, it's the sense of well-being that I have when I know I'm basically taken in hand by someone else. My vanilla ex was as non-dominant as possible and frankly drove me crazy with his passiveness. I can step in and take control in a power vacuum (and I'm a decent switch, too, I've been told) but I'm miserable the entire time.

My studio is an quirky litmus test of my mental well-being. If I have projects scattered around in various states of execution, things are good (contrary as that sounds). When everything is clean, orderly and put away, something is wrong somewhere in my life. Several months ago I discovered cobwebs draping various tools and materials. It was bad, very bad. But it's getting better now.
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Old 06-15-2012, 03:16 PM   #5
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Curiously enough, I developed significant depression during a period in my life when I was attempting to be vanilla.
ditto this!
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Old 06-15-2012, 04:55 PM   #6
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I have never made it a secret that in late 2010, I was diagnosed with Bipolar I. I was also diagnosed with social phobia in the past, but I've found that with the treatment for BP, the anxiety in social situations has become manageable.

In retrospect, my illness destroyed my life. I wasn't able to finish graduate school, couldn't get a "real" job, couldn't make new friends, alienated old ones, wrecked my credit, left my finances in shambles, hurt a lot of people, and lost the people I loved the most.

I'm on two medications now. They saved me. I feel certain that without them, I would be dead now.

All is not roses now, though. I still haven't finished grad school (and probably never will), still don't have a "real" job (but have my own business, so maybe that counts?), and still have a mountain of debt. I have very few people in my life who give a shit, but I'm finding that it's ok. I don't need to use other people as crutches anymore.

My cognitive function has declined considerably. I struggle with spelling and make grammatical errors I never would've made while I was in college. I grope for words that are right on the tip of my tongue but just won't quite come out and make themselves known. My memory is pretty much gone. I remember bits and pieces of things, but that's it.

These are not side effects from the medications, as they were all happening before I even started the meds. They're the results of years and years of untreated mania that fried out a whole bunch of my brain cells.

I rarely talk about these things to anyone but my closest friends and on a blog I started specifically for that purpose. (I promise, I'm not that asshole who has to tell you all about my health problems within five minutes of meeting you.) But Lit is different because I feel that a large number of you are my friends.

Additionally, I want to help people who are where I was two years ago. There is no shame in getting treatment. There is no Big Pharma conspiracy to keep everyone doped out of their minds. There is nothing wrong with taking medication for the rest of your life to control something that's bigger than you are. You do not have some sort of character flaw. You have an illness.

I dislike the notion that the mentally ill are supposed to sequester themselves from society and not inflict themselves on everyone else. Crazy people deserve to try to be happy just as much as anyone else does. If you abandon someone in their time of need, you're the biggest sonofabitch that ever walked the face of the earth.

"Mental illness" is not a monolith. It needs faces put to its names, so that people will stop treating it the way they do now. That's why I try to do what I can to help.
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Old 06-15-2012, 05:20 PM   #7
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"Mental illness" is not a monolith. It needs faces put to its names, so that people will stop treating it the way they do now. That's why I try to do what I can to help.
That's noble. Mental illness carries a huge stigma. It is hard to think of another social designation that is less advantageous.

I'm bipolar 1. I don't think it has anything to do with my kink.
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Old 06-15-2012, 06:59 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by BiBunny View Post
I have never made it a secret that in late 2010, I was diagnosed with Bipolar I. I was also diagnosed with social phobia in the past, but I've found that with the treatment for BP, the anxiety in social situations has become manageable.

In retrospect, my illness destroyed my life. I wasn't able to finish graduate school, couldn't get a "real" job, couldn't make new friends, alienated old ones, wrecked my credit, left my finances in shambles, hurt a lot of people, and lost the people I loved the most.

I'm on two medications now. They saved me. I feel certain that without them, I would be dead now.

All is not roses now, though. I still haven't finished grad school (and probably never will), still don't have a "real" job (but have my own business, so maybe that counts?), and still have a mountain of debt. I have very few people in my life who give a shit, but I'm finding that it's ok. I don't need to use other people as crutches anymore.

My cognitive function has declined considerably. I struggle with spelling and make grammatical errors I never would've made while I was in college. I grope for words that are right on the tip of my tongue but just won't quite come out and make themselves known. My memory is pretty much gone. I remember bits and pieces of things, but that's it.

These are not side effects from the medications, as they were all happening before I even started the meds. They're the results of years and years of untreated mania that fried out a whole bunch of my brain cells.

I rarely talk about these things to anyone but my closest friends and on a blog I started specifically for that purpose. (I promise, I'm not that asshole who has to tell you all about my health problems within five minutes of meeting you.) But Lit is different because I feel that a large number of you are my friends.

Additionally, I want to help people who are where I was two years ago. There is no shame in getting treatment. There is no Big Pharma conspiracy to keep everyone doped out of their minds. There is nothing wrong with taking medication for the rest of your life to control something that's bigger than you are. You do not have some sort of character flaw. You have an illness.

I dislike the notion that the mentally ill are supposed to sequester themselves from society and not inflict themselves on everyone else. Crazy people deserve to try to be happy just as much as anyone else does. If you abandon someone in their time of need, you're the biggest sonofabitch that ever walked the face of the earth.

"Mental illness" is not a monolith. It needs faces put to its names, so that people will stop treating it the way they do now. That's why I try to do what I can to help.


Just jumping in here to say that I find you to be a pretty inspirational person, all things considered.
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Old 06-15-2012, 09:23 PM   #9
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That's noble. Mental illness carries a huge stigma. It is hard to think of another social designation that is less advantageous.

I'm bipolar 1. I don't think it has anything to do with my kink.
Quote:
Originally Posted by KoPilot View Post


Just jumping in here to say that I find you to be a pretty inspirational person, all things considered.
Thank you both. I'm an asshole, but I try to be useful occasionally.

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Old 06-15-2012, 10:27 PM   #10
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Thank you both. I'm an asshole, but I try to be useful occasionally.

Well, I think you're awesome.



Odd time for this to pop up. I'm developing a new phobia (like I don't have enough), this time regarding my car. I've been in four, not at-fault, car accidents this year and it's becoming more and more difficult for me to drive myself places, and almost impossible for other people to drive me. I talked to my doctor, and he wants to me to see a shrink (I'd rather not) cause he thinks I have PTSD. I didn't even mention my other phobias - they don't really affect me on a daily basis in ways that are a big deal. (I can't be the only person in the world who sleeps with a night light. lol)
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Old 06-16-2012, 12:01 AM   #11
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I sleep with a night light! LOLz

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Old 06-16-2012, 12:05 AM   #12
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Okay so does anyone know any treatments for PTSD that actually work? Because I think my girl needs that but she has been to many therapists and they haven't helped.

A couple of them have tried this thing with lights. My girl thinks that therapy is total B.S.

BiBunny, I agree that was very courageous of you to share with us. *hugs*

However as someone with a mother that is not only mentally ill but also toxic to herself and everyone else, I have to say that in order to save oneself, sometimes strong limits are needed. I wouldn't say I've abandoned her but she would. She also wants to control me and eat my soul but anyway . . .
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Old 06-16-2012, 12:31 AM   #13
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Okay so does anyone know any treatments for PTSD that actually work? Because I think my girl needs that but she has been to many therapists and they haven't helped.
I've never heard of anything, personally. That's why I probably wont' bother with therapy, I'll just learn coping mechanisms for this new issue I have, just like I did for the rest.

Quote:
However as someone with a mother that is not only mentally ill but also toxic to herself and everyone else, I have to say that in order to save oneself, sometimes strong limits are needed. I wouldn't say I've abandoned her but she would. She also wants to control me and eat my soul but anyway . . .
My mom is at that point with my sister, who I believe is bipolar. It's probably as hard, from what I've seen, on the mother as it is on the child to have to do this. My mom wouldn't allow my sister to continue to abuse her. I'm really sorry you have to do this. *hugs*
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Old 06-16-2012, 12:46 AM   #14
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What does PYL stand for?
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Old 06-16-2012, 12:54 AM   #15
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Well, I think you're awesome.



Odd time for this to pop up. I'm developing a new phobia (like I don't have enough), this time regarding my car. I've been in four, not at-fault, car accidents this year and it's becoming more and more difficult for me to drive myself places, and almost impossible for other people to drive me. I talked to my doctor, and he wants to me to see a shrink (I'd rather not) cause he thinks I have PTSD. I didn't even mention my other phobias - they don't really affect me on a daily basis in ways that are a big deal. (I can't be the only person in the world who sleeps with a night light. lol)
Ugh, I know how that goes. Talk to me about guns and planes someday. Actually, don't.

-hugs-
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Old 06-16-2012, 12:55 AM   #16
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However as someone with a mother that is not only mentally ill but also toxic to herself and everyone else, I have to say that in order to save oneself, sometimes strong limits are needed. I wouldn't say I've abandoned her but she would. She also wants to control me and eat my soul but anyway . . .
Going through this same shit, except with a grandparent. Anyone have any tips?

...she asks, expecting none.
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Old 06-16-2012, 01:37 AM   #17
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What does PYL stand for?
pyl stands for pick your label. In uppercase it's for dominant/masters/sirs/etc and in lower case it's for subs/slaves/bottoms/etc.
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Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
*~*~*
A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs - jolted by every pebble on the road.
~Henry Ward Beecher
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Old 06-16-2012, 01:49 AM   #18
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Okay so does anyone know any treatments for PTSD that actually work? Because I think my girl needs that but she has been to many therapists and they haven't helped.

A couple of them have tried this thing with lights. My girl thinks that therapy is total B.S.

BiBunny, I agree that was very courageous of you to share with us. *hugs*

However as someone with a mother that is not only mentally ill but also toxic to herself and everyone else, I have to say that in order to save oneself, sometimes strong limits are needed. I wouldn't say I've abandoned her but she would. She also wants to control me and eat my soul but anyway . . .
This is a treatment I read about a few years ago, that some swear is effective; the empirical comparisons suggest it is comparable to other treatments. Still, worth investigating.

I am wowed by the bravery of Bunny and others. I sometimes have periods of anxiety and depression (Winter. Dear god, winter is not my friend.) and some athlete's foot, and an occasional toothache. Working out helps me tremendously, though, to make that recede, as does sociability and music. The kink, among other things, is a release valve on the molten core.

Tangent alert: I find SWs theories fascinating. Even as I type this, I wonder about the fragmentation of society into smaller areas of interest - like this board. On the one hand, when else in the world's history could you trade real-time barbs with people around the globe with, say, an obsession with garden gnomes? In one sense, that creates community out of emptiness. In another sense, is the larger physical community in which we evolved evaporating, and is that ultimately alienating? I compare it to the news: everyone used to watch the evening news or read the same paper and have a fairly similar experience. Now, our information intake is Balkanized, and while the diversity of sources is a plus, what's happening to that shared neighborhood experience, and does it poach our primate brains?
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Old 06-16-2012, 02:01 AM   #19
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Working out helps me tremendously
That is just sick and wrong. There is NO PLACE on these boards for sicko's like you.
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Think what a better world it would be if we all, the whole world,
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Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
*~*~*
A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs - jolted by every pebble on the road.
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You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old when you stop laughing.
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Old 06-16-2012, 02:19 AM   #20
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That is just sick and wrong. There is NO PLACE on these boards for sicko's like you.


Says the girl who is shedding pounds like a northwest leper.
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Old 06-16-2012, 02:51 AM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DeepGreenEyes View Post


Says the girl who is shedding pounds like a northwest leper.
Yeah, but do I exercise to reduce stress? HELL NO! I hate every fucking minute of it. I do it cause my weight is killing me, literally.

And, honestly, it's mainly the diet my doctor put me on that's doing the job.
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Old 06-16-2012, 05:06 AM   #22
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http://www.mind.org.uk/news/3908_unl...mental_illness

I suffered with severe clinical (unipolar) depression for 30 years. Anyone worth having will want you with your mental illness. They don't have to LIKE the fact that you're mentally ill, but if they can't see that it's part of a whole person then they're seriously not worthy of your care.

It's like people who only see the wheelchair, not the very real and very complete human being sitting in it. Fuck 'em! (not literally )
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Old 06-16-2012, 05:09 AM   #23
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Re. PTSD, I recommended a particular type of therapy to Kurokami and I know he followed it through. I never got to hear how the story ended though... but he may be able to offer some insight if he's around?
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Old 06-16-2012, 07:30 AM   #24
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I have never made it a secret that in late 2010, I was diagnosed with Bipolar I. I was also diagnosed with social phobia in the past, but I've found that with the treatment for BP, the anxiety in social situations has become manageable.

In retrospect, my illness destroyed my life. I wasn't able to finish graduate school, couldn't get a "real" job, couldn't make new friends, alienated old ones, wrecked my credit, left my finances in shambles, hurt a lot of people, and lost the people I loved the most.

I'm on two medications now. They saved me. I feel certain that without them, I would be dead now.

All is not roses now, though. I still haven't finished grad school (and probably never will), still don't have a "real" job (but have my own business, so maybe that counts?), and still have a mountain of debt. I have very few people in my life who give a shit, but I'm finding that it's ok. I don't need to use other people as crutches anymore.

My cognitive function has declined considerably. I struggle with spelling and make grammatical errors I never would've made while I was in college. I grope for words that are right on the tip of my tongue but just won't quite come out and make themselves known. My memory is pretty much gone. I remember bits and pieces of things, but that's it.

These are not side effects from the medications, as they were all happening before I even started the meds. They're the results of years and years of untreated mania that fried out a whole bunch of my brain cells.

I rarely talk about these things to anyone but my closest friends and on a blog I started specifically for that purpose. (I promise, I'm not that asshole who has to tell you all about my health problems within five minutes of meeting you.) But Lit is different because I feel that a large number of you are my friends.

Additionally, I want to help people who are where I was two years ago. There is no shame in getting treatment. There is no Big Pharma conspiracy to keep everyone doped out of their minds. There is nothing wrong with taking medication for the rest of your life to control something that's bigger than you are. You do not have some sort of character flaw. You have an illness.

I dislike the notion that the mentally ill are supposed to sequester themselves from society and not inflict themselves on everyone else. Crazy people deserve to try to be happy just as much as anyone else does. If you abandon someone in their time of need, you're the biggest sonofabitch that ever walked the face of the earth.

"Mental illness" is not a monolith. It needs faces put to its names, so that people will stop treating it the way they do now. That's why I try to do what I can to help.
As with many forms of mental illness, Bipolar is no picnic....I am glad you are feeling better now despite the problems you are still dealing with...hopefully all will continue to improve for you.

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Old 06-16-2012, 07:44 AM   #25
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I agree with a lot of SW's observations. Overpopulation has shown it tends to drive people a little crazy...and have to say after moving here from spacious Oz, I certainly felt at times I would go insane with the constant abundance of people everywhere. And yes, I do think there is a tendency to try and slot everyone into some form of mental illness by professionals, or simply to label people by what they see as their issues. Have been trying to deal with a little of that around here of late. And yes, exercise is now being noted as helpful for many who suffer from a variety of mental illnesses. That being said, there are also many mental illnesses which simply are.

Speaking for myself and my lifelong battle with severe depression, while exercise helps me cope sometimes, it doesn't remove the initial illness. Add to that I am someone who finds it impossible to sit and do nothing, especially watch TV without doing something else whether it be housework, craft, exercise. At the moment I have been renovating alone which has meant 14+ hours a day up and down ladders stripping layers of wallpaper, plastering, sanding, painting, laying floors and still depression slips in while I am working. I wish people could accept and understand mental illness as easily as they seem to physical illness....but even with physical illness there are levels of judgement involved for many, including health insurance companies. It seems to be human nature to some.

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