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Old 03-14-2010, 09:30 PM   #1
UnderYourSpell
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The Annikey Challenge

The Annikey has a lot of similarities to the Sestina but each stanza is made up of five lines using the same five words as the end word of the lines in this order, with a not less than 7 syllable meter and lines to be approximately of the same meter throughout.

A B C D E
B D A C E
D C B A E
C A D B E
E A C D B

as in this example

These are the sheets we lie upon, (A)
colourful and smooth, blue prints (B)
of forgetmetnot buds are drafted (C)
across where we loved before, (D)
new to your love as in rebirth. (E)

Nibbles at skin bring blue prints (B)
of ecstasy, begging for me before (D)
the need became too much upon (A)
your senses, nipples from drafted (C)
sighs erect, I seek inside rebirth.(E)

I haven't reached this place before (D)
nor has my mind and body drafted (C)
such brilliant yet crazy blueprints, (B)
bring into my life a yearning upon (A)
which I must now call rebirth. (E)

The sweetest breath has drafted (C)
across my cock, your lips upon (A)
the head teasing, touching before (D)
licking softly down to blue prints (B)
of veins engulfing, I moan rebirth. (E)

And now my love we share rebirth (E)
I move hard, erect and ready upon(A)
your slender body, already drafted(C)
for my desire, soft and open before(D)
we blend creating new blueprints. (B)

Your challenge is to write an Annikey on the subject of guns. Your take on the subject i.e for/against/usage/history etc I leave that up to you.
For anyone that's gone through the hell of writing a Sestina before this should be a doddle.
For anyone trying for the first time my tip is choose your five words and write them onto my example in the correct order and then write your poem around them.
Poems will be judged not only on subject matter but also on form.

It took me approx 1 hour to write this new form ..... it's not difficult!!
Post your poems onto this thread deadline is Friday 19th March 8pm GMT after that this thread is thrown wide open to comments/critiques etc
Any comments/questions before that please go to The Weekly Challenge thread
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Blessed are the cracked for it is they that let in the light
They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient.
But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
If at first you don't succeed....skydiving is not for you ....
If you don't pay your exorcist .... do you get repossessed?
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
....But I, being poor, have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet,Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.......
Nil Caborundum illigitimi
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Old 03-14-2010, 10:50 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UnderYourSpell View Post

These are the sheets we lie upon, (A)
colourful and smooth, blue prints (B)
of forgetmetnot buds are drafted (C)
across where we loved before, (D)
new to your love as in rebirth. (E)

Nibbles at skin bring blue prints (B)
of ecstasy, begging for me before (D)
the need became too much upon (A)
your senses, nipples from drafted (C)
sighs erect, I seek inside rebirth.(E)

I haven't reached this place before (D)
nor has my mind and body drafted (C)
such brilliant yet crazy blueprints, (B)
bring into my life a yearning upon (A)
which I must now call rebirth. (E)

The sweetest breath has drafted (C)
across my cock, your lips upon (A)
the head teasing, touching before (D)
licking softly down to blue prints (B)
of veins engulfing, I moan rebirth. (E)

And now my love we share rebirth (E)
I move hard, erect and ready upon(A)
your slender body, already drafted(C)
for my desire, soft and open before(D)
we blend creating new blueprints. (B)
I LIKE this poem, UYS! I think I'm going to give it a try...
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Old 03-14-2010, 11:00 PM   #3
UnderYourSpell
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Ooops forgot to put (but is probably obvious) poem is 5 stanzas long
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Blessed are the cracked for it is they that let in the light
They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient.
But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
If at first you don't succeed....skydiving is not for you ....
If you don't pay your exorcist .... do you get repossessed?
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
....But I, being poor, have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet,Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.......
Nil Caborundum illigitimi
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Old 03-15-2010, 01:03 AM   #4
champagne1982
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guns don't kill, bullets do

standing on the firing point
disengaged eye shut tight
inhale, exhale and squeeze
the hammer striking pin and flash
should ever bring surprise

keep the butt held in tight
the kick won't bruise, the flash
suppressed as bullets point
the way down range now squeeze
every hit at 100 yards a surprise

spent casings as the tracers flash
colourful trails and muscles squeeze
to aim and measure just how tight
the groupings set and point
the sniper hits the target and Surprise!

bullseye they die and tears squeeze
through blind eyes and fingers point
the way to failure as cameras flash
and armies war while moms hold tight
their babes and death is no surprise

in violent norm peace is the surprise
and farmers toil in fields and point
the way to happiness of family's squeeze
in hugs and joy as now news flash
the wish to sleep and hold each other tight.
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Old 03-15-2010, 05:43 AM   #5
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c-c-c-culture versus nature


his throat is rough as grit and twice as dry
he watches as the gunman lights a smoke
the muzzle's black, hypnotic, makes him freeze
it never wavers as he whispers "why?"
but silences his question with a choke

out there on the horizon they see smoke
hangs blue and lazy, makes them wonder why -
crops or homestead? season's way too dry
but when they see the corpses all thoughts freeze
they count the bullet wounds and start to choke

the hunter trusts his gun and knows just why
the critters caught in his sights start or freeze
he never wastes a bullet and will smoke
whatever he can't eat until it's dry
come winter, larder's stocked and he'll not choke.

the cop pulls out his sidearm and yells "freeze!"
then finds the sidewalk's kiss is cold and dry
his brain attempts to make sense of this why
his breath drifts up, away, it looks like smoke
and blood jets from his neck, to make him choke

the casualty statistics make me choke
in peace or wartime, can't be swallowed dry
but, faced with figures, politicians freeze
and bumble-mouth the platitudes, that's why
the bullets fly and we breathe in their smoke
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What strange machinery lies between her ears
HarryHill


'tender hearted...

Last edited by chipbutty : 07-04-2010 at 09:22 PM. Reason: breath not breathe
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Old 03-16-2010, 06:43 AM   #6
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Gun Show, Last Night in Vegas

You be rockin’ all night long
Before you head out, Johnny Boy,
With my CZ TT. Treat you right
And give you everything you need
For a fair and friendly price.

You mind I call you Johnny Boy?
Most my Johnnies have a need
For ah – no – nym - ity. l play along,
No need for forms to read or write
Your name on… for a friendly price.

What room you’re in is all I need
‘bring her with me when it’s right
After midnight, Johnny Boy.
Hairpin trigger I just know you long
To finger; one fine piece; one fine price.

Johnny Boy’s a working stiff. Am I right?
Work your ass off all day long
Get your family what they need
Put up with shit from half ass boys
You have to work with. What a price

You pay. And suburban life, the prize
You thought it once was? This lady longs
To have her chamber cocked just right.
CZ TT’s what you need.
What’s your number, Johnny Boy?
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Old 03-16-2010, 02:03 PM   #7
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This one was harder than I thought. I tried one out today but didn't deem it worth sharing. I think I'll probably sit out this contest unless I get a little inspiration at some point.

Last edited by bflagsst : 03-17-2010 at 02:50 PM.
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Old 03-16-2010, 10:20 PM   #8
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Revanchist Theology

What's ours must be retaken soon
or be forever lost,
says God
of territory, wealth, and love
we can't afford to lose. Don't brood
about some accidental blood

left drying on the pavement.
God
instructs us, His devoted brood,
to cache His weapons. Someday soon
He'll call upon our Faith and Love
to swaddle cartridges in blood,

becalm the homeland of our brood
and live in Harmony and Love,
for our God is an active God.
We pray; He placates us that soon
we'll bathe our babes in heathen's blood—

at least, so preach our priests. Our love,
our Holy Love, grows anxious. Soon
we waver and begin to brood,
begin to wish another God,
a God whose mouth and eyes spout blood,

will walk across a lake of blood
toward the Homeland and that soon
we'll reinherit Wealth and Love
once stolen from our blood and brood.
We'll grow a God to kill their god.


.
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Last edited by Tzara : 03-17-2010 at 12:15 AM.
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Old 03-18-2010, 06:23 PM   #9
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Due to unforseen events staying up for another week bumpety bump
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Blessed are the cracked for it is they that let in the light
They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient.
But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
If at first you don't succeed....skydiving is not for you ....
If you don't pay your exorcist .... do you get repossessed?
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
....But I, being poor, have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet,Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.......
Nil Caborundum illigitimi
Sestina slut
Annie submits
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Old 03-21-2010, 08:29 AM   #10
butters
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a li'l bump so it doesn't get lost.
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What strange machinery lies between her ears
HarryHill


'tender hearted...
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Old 03-21-2010, 11:01 AM   #11
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Revanchist Theology
That was kick ass, Tz.
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Old 03-22-2010, 03:31 PM   #12
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Thanks for the extension, Annie, but I have to admit defeat - I won't give up on your form though - it is less daunting than a sestina - or so I thought. I'll give it another try outside the bounds of challenge.

*Bows to all the excellent contributions* - kudos to all.
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Old 03-23-2010, 08:52 AM   #13
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Thanks for the extension, Annie, but I have to admit defeat - I won't give up on your form though - it is less daunting than a sestina - or so I thought. I'll give it another try outside the bounds of challenge.

*Bows to all the excellent contributions* - kudos to all.
whatever you do is ok by me lovely lady
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Blessed are the cracked for it is they that let in the light
They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient.
But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
If at first you don't succeed....skydiving is not for you ....
If you don't pay your exorcist .... do you get repossessed?
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
....But I, being poor, have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet,Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.......
Nil Caborundum illigitimi
Sestina slut
Annie submits
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Old 03-23-2010, 10:41 PM   #14
EroticOrogeny
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Hope to have mine up tomorrow or next day.
Besides fewer words, somewhat different in that the end word isn't always in a different line in different stanzas. E is last in all but the last stanza, all the rest have the same line someplace except B.
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Old 03-23-2010, 10:42 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EroticOrogeny View Post
Hope to have mine up tomorrow or next day.
Besides fewer words, somewhat different in that the end word isn't always in a different line in different stanzas. E is last in all but the last stanza, all the rest have the same line someplace except B.
pardon ?!!
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Blessed are the cracked for it is they that let in the light
They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient.
But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
If at first you don't succeed....skydiving is not for you ....
If you don't pay your exorcist .... do you get repossessed?
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
....But I, being poor, have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet,Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.......
Nil Caborundum illigitimi
Sestina slut
Annie submits
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Old 03-23-2010, 10:57 PM   #16
EroticOrogeny
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In both forms the end words form distinct permutations of the n (5 or 6) words.
In a sestina each permutation is such that the same word never occupies the same position in different stanzas, while in an annikey that is not the case. I'm not very strong on set or graph theory and only have considered basic combinatorial background. Senna Jawa probably knows this better than I do (and may have some even more obscure math terms for it).
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Old 03-24-2010, 03:04 PM   #17
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EO and Pablo should both be posting soon, yes?
c'mon, guys, show us what you got
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What strange machinery lies between her ears
HarryHill


'tender hearted...
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Old 03-25-2010, 12:21 AM   #18
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Two teens were shot dead. Who
went to the funeral, Victor, what
did you wear did you wear a fedora why
did you look at the I Ching, Victor, when
the Bible was right there where

did you sit on the bus, Victor, what
did you do on the weekend when
you went to the city, Victor, who
did you see don't you see why
I want to know I want to know where

you saw me and yes I'd like to know when
you left the funeral I'd like to know why
you wore a fedora I'd like to know what
building you entered in the city, Victor, who
do you think you're fooling I know where

you went what I want to know is why
are your friends in those boxes, Victor, who
entered that building why enter that building when
you had money in your pocket, Victor, what
did you want, Victor, did you want to be where

I could see you did you sit on the bus where
anyone could see you I know who
you gave your money to why
not to your friends, Victor, when
they needed it? Because what?
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Old 03-25-2010, 05:30 AM   #19
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oooh! a what where why when who poem
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What strange machinery lies between her ears
HarryHill


'tender hearted...
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Old 03-25-2010, 08:48 AM   #20
UnderYourSpell
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chipbutty View Post
EO and Pablo should both be posting soon, yes?
c'mon, guys, show us what you got
( @ )( @ )
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Blessed are the cracked for it is they that let in the light
They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient.
But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
If at first you don't succeed....skydiving is not for you ....
If you don't pay your exorcist .... do you get repossessed?
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
....But I, being poor, have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet,Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.......
Nil Caborundum illigitimi
Sestina slut
Annie submits

Last edited by UnderYourSpell : 03-29-2010 at 12:03 PM. Reason: boob
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Old 03-25-2010, 01:07 PM   #21
EroticOrogeny
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Gun Play

I long to lie with my love
I hear the beat of my heart
My feelings begin to gun
propelled by my passion’s play
I rise to romance my rose.

Happily hug, heart to heart
peel panties, prepared to play
Come together now in love
Exposed, you gaze on my gun
I bring you a bright red rose.

Provide partner pleasure play
You grab my great growing gun
by your breasts I hear your heart
You lie, I lap liquid love
cocked, my rigid rifle rose

Open, I holster my gun
Move together making love
penetrate in potent play
sated sighs, hot heaving heart
romance, ravish your pink rose

Ruddy release, glow in rose
liquids let loose, lie with love.
Little and limp, my empty gun
last scene of our private play.
Cuddle, caress, hold with heart.
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Old 03-25-2010, 01:39 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EroticOrogeny View Post
In both forms the end words form distinct permutations of the n (5 or 6) words.
In a sestina each permutation is such that the same word never occupies the same position in different stanzas, while in an annikey that is not the case. I'm not very strong on set or graph theory and only have considered basic combinatorial background. Senna Jawa probably knows this better than I do (and may have some even more obscure math terms for it).
With there being only 5 lines per stanza it wasn't possible to have each word occupying completely different line throughout (you can blame Chippy for that because it all started off with her five words in the first place!) I was doing ok until I got to the last stanza and because I wanted the 'E' word to change to be being on the first line I'm afraid I had to double up on the placings
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Blessed are the cracked for it is they that let in the light
They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient.
But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
If at first you don't succeed....skydiving is not for you ....
If you don't pay your exorcist .... do you get repossessed?
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
....But I, being poor, have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet,Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.......
Nil Caborundum illigitimi
Sestina slut
Annie submits

Last edited by UnderYourSpell : 03-25-2010 at 01:40 PM. Reason: talking double dutch
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Old 03-25-2010, 02:42 PM   #23
UnderYourSpell
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Although this doesn't end till tomorrow I've started the critiques ...... I've done the first two! I may be some time!
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Blessed are the cracked for it is they that let in the light
They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient.
But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
If at first you don't succeed....skydiving is not for you ....
If you don't pay your exorcist .... do you get repossessed?
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
....But I, being poor, have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet,Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.......
Nil Caborundum illigitimi
Sestina slut
Annie submits
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Old 03-25-2010, 03:27 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UnderYourSpell View Post
With there being only 5 lines per stanza it wasn't possible to have each word occupying completely different line throughout (you can blame Chippy for that because it all started off with her five words in the first place!) I was doing ok until I got to the last stanza and because I wanted the 'E' word to change to be being on the first line I'm afraid I had to double up on the placings
whoah whattami gettin the blame for now? what 5 words? you've lost me. easily done, that, lately
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What strange machinery lies between her ears
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'tender hearted...
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Old 03-25-2010, 05:43 PM   #25
EroticOrogeny
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UnderYourSpell View Post
With there being only 5 lines per stanza it wasn't possible to have each word occupying completely different line throughout (you can blame Chippy for that because it all started off with her five words in the first place!) I was doing ok until I got to the last stanza and because I wanted the 'E' word to change to be being on the first line I'm afraid I had to double up on the placings
A B C D E
B C D E A
C D E A B
D E A B C
E A B C D

A B C D E
B A D E C
C E A B D
E D B C A
D C E A B

There are many more, but don't want to take trh trouble to enumerate them either by brute force or some analysis
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