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Old 02-25-2010, 11:23 PM   #101
Varshanka
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why Won't It Stop Hurting!!!!
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Old 02-25-2010, 11:31 PM   #102
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I wish I had a magic bullet, or a magic word, or a sonic screwdriver setting I could use to make things right.

I don't. You have no idea how much I wish I did, but I don't.

All I can do is quote things.

"This too shall pass."

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' says The Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.'" (Jeremiah 31:9)

"If you're going through Hell, keep going." (Winston Churchill)
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Old 02-25-2010, 11:36 PM   #103
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the only reason i haven't done anything yet.. is because of you chas.. you've held on.. and so must I..
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Old 02-25-2010, 11:42 PM   #104
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Varshanka View Post
the only reason i haven't done anything yet.. is because of you chas.. you've held on.. and so must I..
We ever must hold on.

With every breath comes the opportunity for rebirth, redemption, reinvention.

It's like Spock was fond of saying, bless him. "There are always possibilities."
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Old 02-26-2010, 12:13 AM   #105
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i'm gonna cry myself to sleep again...
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Old 02-26-2010, 12:47 AM   #106
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*pats Var's head* Dare I ask?

though I can venture a guess.. in which case know that I share your pain. Over two months and it still hurts like a bitch!

..as for my post... it's coming.. some of my issue is I've worked from dawn til well about now for the past few days. I love my job for the most part but it drains me of a lot.

no work tomorrow though!
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Naah. With UM, offtopic IS ontopic.

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Old 02-26-2010, 09:05 AM   #107
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Take your time, UM. We're looking forward to it.

And, Var, I hope you're doing betterish this morning, I really do.
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Old 02-26-2010, 09:08 AM   #108
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Betterish.. don't know. still alive.. for now..
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Old 02-26-2010, 09:13 AM   #109
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Morning Whoites
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Old 02-26-2010, 09:27 AM   #110
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Morning, L-Vic.

(I always liked the term "Whovian," me.)
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Old 02-26-2010, 09:30 AM   #111
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Betterish.. don't know. still alive.. for now..
"Still alive" beats the alternative.
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Old 02-26-2010, 09:43 AM   #112
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"Still alive" beats the alternative.
not from my point of view.

doesn't help that i have a depressive attitude to begin with.

wal-mart: "Hello and welcom to wal-mart, how are you Today?"

me: "Not dead yet."

wal-mart: "Better than the other option."

me: "Wanna bet?"
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Old 02-26-2010, 09:55 AM   #113
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Ah been there. Done that. I know. It's comforting in a way to realize how easily, how sweetly, death could come.


It takes alot of strength to take your own life, but it takes even more to truly live.

Cry, Var. Cry until you can't anymore and then move forward.
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Quote:
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Naah. With UM, offtopic IS ontopic.

Mine
TTGB Next Gen:Inertia My Roommate is from Outer Space!
Theirs
Avatar: Thunder Rolls OOC

On the rare chance anyone out there is interested in doing an rp based on 'The Reluctant God' by Pamela F. Service, I am SO on board for that!
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Old 02-26-2010, 10:13 AM   #114
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most people don't understand, or don't believe, i was dead once. hit by a car and all that.

CPR brought me back, but i was dead..

i've seen what shouldn't be seen. and chas.. you're closer knowing the otherside than most.

when i was dead, it DIDN'T HURT. no physical pain, no mental/emotional pain. NONE

They said.. "It's not time.. Not yet."

and then i was looking at a paramedic...

I don't know what will happen if I take my own life. I don't know where I will go. But it hurts so fucking much..

And some times it hurts so much.. i don't know if i can NOT do it.
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Old 02-26-2010, 10:27 AM   #115
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I'm not going to try and say I understand what it's like to die. I've never died, almost drowned, but didn't die. I do have a vast imagination though and I don't see how it's so hard for others to believe that you have died.

Personally, I have not feared death for a very, very long time now. For about a decade, the only thing keeping me here was the need to keep my brothers safe.

Death is a siren's call. I know it is hard to live like this, but there is beauty in the world yet.

Don't sully the gift of a second chance. When it is your time, death will certainly come without you ushering it in.
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All the strength and force of man comes from his faith in things unseen. -- J. F. Clarke

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mephistophelily View Post
Naah. With UM, offtopic IS ontopic.

Mine
TTGB Next Gen:Inertia My Roommate is from Outer Space!
Theirs
Avatar: Thunder Rolls OOC

On the rare chance anyone out there is interested in doing an rp based on 'The Reluctant God' by Pamela F. Service, I am SO on board for that!
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Old 02-26-2010, 10:31 AM   #116
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but i don't think it was a gift. more of a curse..

my life has been hell since then.. and it's been several decades. i've tried twice before..

took 75 sleeping pills.

a few years later i took 150....

and i'm still here..
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Old 02-26-2010, 10:34 AM   #117
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i think mostly i'm still here for others. Mom. Dad. Brother. CHas.. Vic.. Rzantor.. Kris.. Gwen..

Mostly at this moment i'm holding on by fingersnails in the hope that maybe.. just maybe she'll come back to me.

a prayer.. one i know won't come true..
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Old 02-26-2010, 11:08 AM   #118
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Varshanka View Post
most people don't understand, or don't believe, i was dead once. hit by a car and all that.

CPR brought me back, but i was dead..

i've seen what shouldn't be seen. and chas.. you're closer knowing the otherside than most.

when i was dead, it DIDN'T HURT. no physical pain, no mental/emotional pain. NONE

They said.. "It's not time.. Not yet."

and then i was looking at a paramedic...

I don't know what will happen if I take my own life. I don't know where I will go. But it hurts so fucking much..

And some times it hurts so much.. i don't know if i can NOT do it.
I don't know that I know much about death or dying or after. I've never been.

I know there's times I would give anything for that Peace and Quiet.

But They told you to wait. They told you it wasn't time.

And it is our burden and our honour to hold on until They let us know when.
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Old 02-27-2010, 09:05 AM   #119
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another day has passed.. and i'm still here to pester and torment
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Old 02-27-2010, 09:36 AM   #120
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another day has passed.. and i'm still here to pester and torment
Yay!

(Hang on, I'ma get my pestering kit.)
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Old 02-27-2010, 07:56 PM   #121
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Old 02-27-2010, 09:02 PM   #122
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isn't a vulcan supposed to be standing next to him?
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Old 02-27-2010, 09:19 PM   #123
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isn't a vulcan supposed to be standing next to him?
:: winks :: She's in the box already.

Last in, first out, that's our Ten.
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Old 02-27-2010, 09:21 PM   #124
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sounds kinky.. is he ever gonna be in her box?
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Old 02-28-2010, 12:47 AM   #125
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sounds kinky.. is he ever gonna be in her box?

You might have some luck with this guy?


(No promises, tho'! XD )
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