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Old 12-07-2013, 01:50 PM   #1
butters
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title suggestions please?

this live write, subbed, seems to need a title. any offers?

tods already suggested 'set me free'


what's this? this dim, strange mood
suspended in ink and daub and charcoaled words
where words are thoughts and images primed to leap
right through the screen
right from a brain
fingertips midwive the pulse pulse pulse of half-forgotten frag
ments ripped and shorn dragged three-quarters blue for lack of
breath and weight of darkened soil upon a head
stones
stones
run a nail on through the happy moss
think
loss
but not the loss of living grief
this someplace feel i feel
unbereaved
and taking up my chalk i mark a tree
a bird's wing taking flight
the bird is me
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What strange machinery lies between her ears
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Old 12-07-2013, 04:18 PM   #2
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Liberty
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"I have set my life upon a cast, and I shall stand the hazard of the die." -- Richard III

"Watch out for this guy! He's slick! And dark... and mysterious... and maybe even a bit evil! But in a totally sexy way!" -- BooMerengue
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Old 12-07-2013, 04:49 PM   #3
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Liberty
i like that! thanks
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Old 12-07-2013, 05:31 PM   #4
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Three Quarters Blue
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"True glory consists in doing what deserves to be written; in writing what deserves to be read."- Pliny the Elder
"Words have the power to both destroy and heal. When words are both true and kind, they can change our world."- The Budda
"I'll never be a poet" - The Harry
"You are not the whim of a careless creator, experimenting in the laboratory of life... you were made with a purpose"."-Og Mandino
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Old 12-07-2013, 05:42 PM   #5
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Three Quarters Blue
*smiles - guess that line made an impact*
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Old 12-07-2013, 06:18 PM   #6
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Prelude of a journey (or flight)
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Blessed are the cracked for it is they that let in the light
They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient.
But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
If at first you don't succeed....skydiving is not for you ....
If you don't pay your exorcist .... do you get repossessed?
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
....But I, being poor, have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet,Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.......
Nil Caborundum illigitimi
Sestina slut
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Old 12-07-2013, 06:25 PM   #7
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Three Quarters Blue
2 votes, leads audience to find the other quarter
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Old 12-07-2013, 06:27 PM   #8
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I agree with UYS, although I might shorten it to "Prelude."
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Old 12-07-2013, 06:30 PM   #9
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I agree with UYS, although I might shorten it to "Prelude."
Or 'Preflight'
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"True glory consists in doing what deserves to be written; in writing what deserves to be read."- Pliny the Elder
"Words have the power to both destroy and heal. When words are both true and kind, they can change our world."- The Budda
"I'll never be a poet" - The Harry
"You are not the whim of a careless creator, experimenting in the laboratory of life... you were made with a purpose"."-Og Mandino
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Old 12-07-2013, 06:32 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UnderYourSpell View Post
Prelude of a journey (or flight)
actually, annie, i kind of like Prelude on its own, given this was a live write and therefore improvisatory

yes, liking this idea lots.
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Old 12-07-2013, 06:36 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by twelveoone View Post
2 votes, leads audience to find the other quarter
Quote:
Originally Posted by greenmountaineer View Post
I agree with UYS, although I might shorten it to "Prelude."
Quote:
Originally Posted by HarryHill View Post
Or 'Preflight'
oh damnit, i knew this was gonna happen. now i'm all conflicted with liking different suggestions. gm, i hadn't seen these three posts as i was replying to annie and checking out the implications of 'prelude'.

harry, liking preflight as it ties in with the wing/bird

12 - just argh! how do i decide?


ffs
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Old 12-07-2013, 07:33 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by butters View Post
oh damnit, i knew this was gonna happen. now i'm all conflicted with liking different suggestions. gm, i hadn't seen these three posts as i was replying to annie and checking out the implications of 'prelude'.

harry, liking preflight as it ties in with the wing/bird

12 - just argh! how do i decide?


ffs
prelude implies a postlude
how about a quaalude?

no quarter
how about
brain screen frag

look if you did not have a title, why does it need it? It looks to me as no suggestions add nor sum it.
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Old 12-07-2013, 07:36 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by butters View Post
oh damnit, i knew this was gonna happen. now i'm all conflicted with liking different suggestions. gm, i hadn't seen these three posts as i was replying to annie and checking out the implications of 'prelude'.

harry, liking preflight as it ties in with the wing/bird

12 - just argh! how do i decide?


ffs
dice!!!
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Old 12-07-2013, 08:13 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by twelveoone View Post
prelude implies a postlude
how about a quaalude?

no quarter
how about
brain screen frag

look if you did not have a title, why does it need it? It looks to me as no suggestions add nor sum it.
ok, well i know this is referring to music, but there's musicality to the poetry, right?
Quote:
A prelude (Germ. Präludium or Vorspiel; Lat. praeludium; Fr. Prélude; It. Preludio) is a short piece of music, the form of which may vary from piece to piece.[1][2] The prelude can be thought of as a preface. It may stand on its own or introduce another work. While, during the Baroque era, for example, it may have served as an introduction to succeeding movements of a work that were usually longer and more complex, it may also have been a stand alone piece of work during the Romantic era. It generally features a small number of rhythmic and melodic motifs that recur through the piece. Stylistically, the prelude is improvisatory in nature. The prelude can also refer to an overture, particularly to those seen in an opera or an oratorio.
quaalude? now you're just getting too clever! links to so many conversations!

nope and nope

ah, but it did. no title was its title, really - but it appears readers want a 'real' one
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Old 12-07-2013, 08:14 PM   #15
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Quote:
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dice!!!
*blows on 'em*
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Old 12-07-2013, 08:19 PM   #16
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*blows on 'em*
New shooter coming out. *puts chip on come line*
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"True glory consists in doing what deserves to be written; in writing what deserves to be read."- Pliny the Elder
"Words have the power to both destroy and heal. When words are both true and kind, they can change our world."- The Budda
"I'll never be a poet" - The Harry
"You are not the whim of a careless creator, experimenting in the laboratory of life... you were made with a purpose"."-Og Mandino
well buttered
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Old 12-07-2013, 08:20 PM   #17
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Quote:
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New shooter coming out. *puts chip on come line*
holy crap!
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Old 12-07-2013, 08:23 PM   #18
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holy crap!
Story of my life
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"True glory consists in doing what deserves to be written; in writing what deserves to be read."- Pliny the Elder
"Words have the power to both destroy and heal. When words are both true and kind, they can change our world."- The Budda
"I'll never be a poet" - The Harry
"You are not the whim of a careless creator, experimenting in the laboratory of life... you were made with a purpose"."-Og Mandino
well buttered
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Old 12-07-2013, 08:29 PM   #19
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Quote:
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Story of my life
ok, i know very little about dice games other than those kids play, so i assume it was a reference to shooting crap. did i get it wrong? but what's the 'come line'? that's a new one and conjures . . . well, several images

life? pah, journeys, harry, journeys. x
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Old 12-07-2013, 08:36 PM   #20
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ok, well i know this is referring to music, but there's musicality to the poetry, right?
praeludium for two in D minor
C major?

come line- harry's propositioning you, or preluding you if you prefer
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Old 12-07-2013, 08:40 PM   #21
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ok, i know very little about dice games other than those kids play, so i assume it was a reference to shooting crap. did i get it wrong? but what's the 'come line'? that's a new one and conjures . . . well, several images

life? pah, journeys, harry, journeys. x
craps, snake eyes a loosing toss unless wagered on specifically.
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"True glory consists in doing what deserves to be written; in writing what deserves to be read."- Pliny the Elder
"Words have the power to both destroy and heal. When words are both true and kind, they can change our world."- The Budda
"I'll never be a poet" - The Harry
"You are not the whim of a careless creator, experimenting in the laboratory of life... you were made with a purpose"."-Og Mandino
well buttered
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Old 12-07-2013, 08:42 PM   #22
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praeludium for two in D minor
C major?

come line- harry's propositioning you, or preluding you if you prefer
it's always worth following your signposts

harry wants to play dice? :halo:
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Old 12-07-2013, 08:43 PM   #23
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craps, snake eyes a loosing toss unless wagered on specifically.
you mind where you go loosing those tosses, harry - not in the eyes, never in the eyes!
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Last edited by butters : 12-07-2013 at 08:46 PM.
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Old 12-07-2013, 08:47 PM   #24
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I just want to stop and tell you two what a delightful Saturday night this is
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"True glory consists in doing what deserves to be written; in writing what deserves to be read."- Pliny the Elder
"Words have the power to both destroy and heal. When words are both true and kind, they can change our world."- The Budda
"I'll never be a poet" - The Harry
"You are not the whim of a careless creator, experimenting in the laboratory of life... you were made with a purpose"."-Og Mandino
well buttered
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Old 12-07-2013, 08:48 PM   #25
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I just want to stop and tell you two what a delightful Saturday night this is
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