Corsets and other pretty things.

So, we've already established that I'm ridiculously new to this whole shindig. Now, I need help! After much discussion, my friend and I have decided that a corset would be a good option. I need support, he hates bras...that leaves a corset. The problem that I've been having is finding something I truly, truly like. I'm a pretty damned girly-girl. No PVC, no vinyl. He likes leather. I'm a-okay with it, as long as it's real and soft. Personally, I like the look of a very stiff and heavy brocade fabric. The problem comes in when it comes to design. I can't find something that we're both madly in love with. No straps is one of the requirements. He's also VERY insistent of being able to have instant access to nipples. (I'm not complaining! I just can't find something pretty, and practical enough, for every day wear.) HELP!!!! Ideas, pictures, whatever. Anything is welcome at this point.

A made to measure corset will be more comfortable long term, but will set you back $200-500 and take 6-8 weeks (or more) for delivery. If he wants easy access to your breasts, you need to research underbust styles, rather than overbust. Unless you are quite small busted, you'll still need to wear a bra for support while wearing an underbust corset.

Leather corsets will be stiff (at least until well broken in) - fact of life. Corsets period will be stiff, because of the steel stays. You willsit, stand, move differently. IMO, think hard about how it will impact your wardrobe, habits, lifestyle, activity levels before tightlacing (or it may be a waste of $$).

As to "hating bras"... Maybe the man's just never been exposed to the right sort.

This is entirely possible, his loathing of bras. Dunno, though. I don't mind spending the money, for a long term object, that would be utilized daily. I don't think it would impact life all that much, other than forcing me to have better posture! I could be wrong, though. The longest I've ever had one on, at all, was..oh, 6 hours? Give or take.

CutieMouse said:

A made to measure corset will be more comfortable long term, but will set you back $200-500 and take 6-8 weeks (or more) for delivery. If he wants easy access to your breasts, you need to research underbust styles, rather than overbust. Unless you are quite small busted, you'll still need to wear a bra for support while wearing an underbust corset.

Leather corsets will be stiff (at least until well broken in) - fact of life. Corsets period will be stiff, because of the steel stays. You willsit, stand, move differently. IMO, think hard about how it will impact your wardrobe, habits, lifestyle, activity levels before tightlacing (or it may be a waste of $$).

As to "hating bras"... Maybe the man's just never been exposed to the right sort.

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Bold text = very important

I despise corsets. I am an active person. My experience with them was on two different period shows that I worked on and the corsets I wore were authentic to those eras. Ugh. What a freaking nightmare. I could barely breathe, and eating...? Fuggetaboutit.

No wonder women were always fainting and swooning back then.

Now, you may love the experience but I think CM has a good point about considering the changes to your lifestyle before spending the dough. (And she is our resident lingerie expert, BTW).

You guys are the experts, not me! I've been plunged headfirst into everything. I'm just along for the ride. The only reason that this is up for discussion is because he's not really into bras, and I really, REALLY need the support. Or, a breast lift. Nix that. I hate doctors. I hate surgery more.

I suggest a 5K with him and no jockstrap. I mean if you're going to make someone do something you should have some idea what you're asking.

i absolutely adore corsets - buy as many as you can afford!
leather for him, brocade for you... enjoy the feeling
x

Corsets are nice looking, but there's a reason they're not used anymore. They're simply impractical. They're expensive and restrictive. If you need support, a bra is perfect. The convenience and cost far outweigh his irrational dislike of them.

If you want to wear a corset for fetishwear, go ahead, but they aren't an everything day at all.

bruisedangel said:

This is entirely possible, his loathing of bras. Dunno, though. I don't mind spending the money, for a long term object, that would be utilized daily. I don't think it would impact life all that much, other than forcing me to have better posture! I could be wrong, though. The longest I've ever had one on, at all, was..oh, 6 hours? Give or take.

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There very nice bras with half cups that basically leave your upper breast free and even some that will leave you nipples basically out as well. Since it sounds you are well endowed, make sure to get one from a good place with a good fitter (like our CM). I'm sure there are also strapless ones that you could find.

But I'll stick to wear also normal supporting bras to keep the sagging at bay.

Keroin said:

Bold text = very important

I despise corsets. I am an active person. My experience with them was on two different period shows that I worked on and the corsets I wore were authentic to those eras. Ugh. What a freaking nightmare. I could barely breathe, and eating...? Fuggetaboutit.

No wonder women were always fainting and swooning back then.

Now, you may love the experience but I think CM has a good point about considering the changes to your lifestyle before spending the dough. (And she is our resident lingerie expert, BTW).

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Oh yeah. Hmmmmm.

i just love them

Why not wear whatever it is that ITW's got on in her av?

I fail to see the access problem. Grab hold... rip down... there you go.

Okay. So, I'm thinking a big no to running a 5K! Eh, I've looked around, read everything posted here, and what other reading materials that I could find on short notice. Corset for play, pretty lacy things for everyday. I'm going to see about proper fittings, and what have you, for everything.

Netzach said:

I suggest a 5K with him and no jockstrap. I mean if you're going to make someone do something you should have some idea what you're asking.

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Love it!!


BruisedAngel, Are you living with this guy? Not living with him but seeing him several times a day? Or what? Because it doesn't seem to me that his hatred of bras should affect your health and comfort during the part of your life when the two of you aren't together. For small-breasted women, bras are fairly optional; for large-breasted women, going without can mean backaches, ligament damage, and other unpleasant.things*.

I'd think that wearing a corset or going braless during an evening or even a weekend wouldn't be so bad. Wearing a confining garment or going without a garment that you need all day, every day, well, that's a much bigger deal.

Also, you keep saying that you're new to all of this. How new is your relationship? How well do you know the guy in question? How he handles the bra question could well tell you something about whether he's somebody you want to play seriously with or somebody you want to back away from. Does he care about YOU or just about his preferences in lingerie?


*And I know whereof I speak, because I had quite small breasts as a young woman and much larger ones as a middle-aged lady. When I was in my teens, my mother insisted that I wear a bra, and when I asked why, she told me that it was "indecent" for me to go braless. When pushed further on this subject, she finally said that the purpose of bras was to disguise the fact that women had nipples, to smooth out our chests so that our nipples would be inivisible. I thought this was stupid, so I never wore a bra. I continued this practice when I gained a bit of weight, quite a lot of it in my chest, and didn't realize until too late that just because my mother was wrong about the reason for wearing bras, that didn't mean that the whole bra thing was an outmoded concept. I have quite a lot of sagging right now, whereas my girlfriend who's always worn a bra is 52 and still has breasts that stick straight out. You want a bra.

So, my post came across totally wrong. I think I should have phrased things far better than I did. Nono, absolutely, my comfort comes first. I'm pretty much just gleaning a little bit of information from all you guys, that's all. I'm just a big ol' dork. Over-excited. I tend to go overboard when I want information, and I KNOW I came across as a weenie. Not thinking before speaking, and all of that tripe. Mostly, this was something -I- wanted, for loads of reasons. Pretty things tend to make me happy, damn the practicality.


Anyhoo, this really is all about me, nothing else.

Best thing about wearing a corset for 10 hour straight (I've done it)?

The first few moments after you take it off.


Bodices are easier to wear, fewer stays.

Oops. Posted in Kitty's name. Sorry!

~Bunny

Corylea said:

For small-breasted women, bras are fairly optional; for large-breasted women, going without can mean backaches, ligament damage, and other unpleasant.things*.

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Even wearing bras most of the time doesn't help with the backache problem, LOL. Not only are mine big, but they're extremely heavy, way heavier than most people with the same size boobs. I have yet to be able to find a bra that can support these things properly. And, God knows, bras in this size are not cheap to come by.

JMohegan said:

Why not wear whatever it is that ITW's got on in her av?

I fail to see the access problem. Grab hold... rip down... there you go.

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Just a technical point, but that is not actually ITW.

*off to PM our resident lingerie expert*

bruisedangel said:

So, my post came across totally wrong. I think I should have phrased things far better than I did. Nono, absolutely, my comfort comes first. I'm pretty much just gleaning a little bit of information from all you guys, that's all. I'm just a big ol' dork. Over-excited. I tend to go overboard when I want information, and I KNOW I came across as a weenie. Not thinking before speaking, and all of that tripe. Mostly, this was something -I- wanted, for loads of reasons. Pretty things tend to make me happy, damn the practicality.


Anyhoo, this really is all about me, nothing else.

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Oh, well then. And hey, if you wanted to go non-bra for your man, I think that's swell, it's just a lot to ask is all I'm sayin'.

Corsets rock. Tightlacing as a way of life is a lofty goal. I can't really speak to that as it would not be safe for me to do. It's probably best to invest in a training corset made from cotton, breatheable. They're not as sexy as leather or brocade, but they're meant to be worn as foundational undergarment.

Vixandra said:

Best thing about wearing a corset for 10 hour straight (I've done it)?

The first few moments after you take it off.

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Call me a freaky maso, but I agree, and that's why I love them. Same with heels. I almost came when this girl massaged my feet out of torture shoes once.

I love how corsets look and love that feeling of restriction, but good ones cost a shit-ton of money that I don't have. I probably won't have the money for a good corset until at least a whole bunch of years after I graduate.

bruisedangel said:

You guys are the experts, not me! I've been plunged headfirst into everything. I'm just along for the ride. The only reason that this is up for discussion is because he's not really into bras, and I really, REALLY need the support. Or, a breast lift. Nix that. I hate doctors. I hate surgery more.

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Get professionally fitted for a bra.There are so many European companies that cater to women with absolutely stunning lingerie in everything from a 32A to a 46JJ - there's no reason to not have a beautiful, supportive bra.

I mean seriously, I hate to be a nag, but WTH is the man's problem with bras? Regardless of size, wearing a properly fitting bra is part of maintaining your physical health - protecting your breast tissue, avoiding back strain, enabling you to support the weight of your chest within your body's framework (and FYI letting your breasts sag unsupported makes you look about 10-15# heavier than you actually are)... Netz's analogy of him doing sports of any sort without a jockstrap is about spot on.

I tightlaced for a relationship for a while, and while I do love the look and feel of corsets, it was too great of a PIA to bother. At my smallest I was down to a 23 5/8" waist - which put my measurements at 37 bust / 23&5/8 waist / 39 hip...which meant no jeans, no pants, no sheath dresses, no pencil skirts, no pleated skirts. Driving the car was different; hell using the bathroom was different. LOL

Occasional wear - no biggie, but daily wear is a whole different ball 'o wax [IMO] - one which may end up being far more about functionality than pretty.

bruisedangel said:

You guys are the experts, not me! I've been plunged headfirst into everything. I'm just along for the ride. The only reason that this is up for discussion is because he's not really into bras, and I really, REALLY need the support. Or, a breast lift. Nix that. I hate doctors. I hate surgery more.

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You really shouldn't even consider surgery. Seriously. Anyone who wants you to have body modification as a condition of a relationship isn't worth having a relationship with. Seriously. However much you like him there are thousands of other men equally good who will value you as you are.

Is the corset a play item for scene time, or is it something he's going to expect you to wear in everyday life? Have you explored other alternatives? Is this something he has a fetish about, or just a preference? What alternatives can you explore?

It seems to me that CM has covered most of what you seek.

CM mentions European or French lingerei, check out Aubade for some really good lingerei. The French, bless them, cater for most shapes.

Corsets are fine for occassional wear and special "events". They really are impractical for daily life IMHO. Saying that, a good friend's partner wears a corset daily..but then again she does not work and the relationship is very special and unique to them.

I think perhaps you need to sit down and discuss the facts of everyday life with the bf.