Old 12-17-2013, 06:38 PM   #1
someoneyouknow
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Dear X v. 2

Laurel has closed the original Dear X thread due to the number of posts, so now I get to start my first thread on Lit.

Dear Pedestrian,

No need to thank me for stopping my car as you walked in the cross-walk. My stopping gave me the time to admire the image of you in your somewhat short grey plaid skirt and boots.

How did you know I'm a sucker for skirts and boots and did you time it to make sure you showed yourself to me?

So long as you keep wearing such outfits, I will have no problem stopping for you. Take all the time you want crossing the street, I don't mind.

Finally saw something worthwhile on the way to work
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Old 12-18-2013, 04:27 AM   #2
BlueEyedGent
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Dear Violent Stomach Bug,

You got me...yeah, you got me good!

Satisfied now?

Now shoo and leave me the fuck alone!

Signed,
Your very sore victim
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Old 12-18-2013, 04:30 AM   #3
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Dear Universe,

Thanks for the show you put on every night !
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Old 12-18-2013, 05:06 AM   #4
Erochic
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueEyedGent View Post
Dear Violent Stomach Bug,

You got me...yeah, you got me good!

Satisfied now?

Now shoo and leave me the fuck alone!

Signed,
Your very sore victim
Dear Another Stomach Bug,

Why oh why did you have to choose to today to hit my poor lover? We had a really nice erotic afternoon planned - but we had to cancel.
Now the poor man not only feels like crap, but he doesn't get to have the great sex and blowjobs I had planned for him or enjoy my body as he wanted, and on top of that he feels like a real heel for cancelling.
And I feel really down and disappointed too - because I was really really looking forward to it too .... But of course I can't be mad because it really was just one of those things.

Just go away quickly now will you - we are hoping to reschedule for Friday afternoon. You wouldn't take that away from us too...
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Old 12-18-2013, 05:11 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Erochic View Post
Dear Another Stomach Bug,

Why oh why did you have to choose to today to hit my poor lover? We had a really nice erotic afternoon planned - but we had to cancel.
Now the poor man not only feels like crap, but he doesn't get to have the great sex and blowjobs I had planned for him or enjoy my body as he wanted, and on top of that he feels like a real heel for cancelling.
And I feel really down and disappointed too - because I was really really looking forward to it too .... But of course I can't be mad because it really was just one of those things.

Just go away quickly now will you - we are hoping to reschedule for Friday afternoon. You wouldn't take that away from us too...

I hope he recovers fast.....I had mine hit a few days ago and I am barely beginning to see some light that I might be getting better.
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Old 12-18-2013, 05:19 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueEyedGent View Post
I hope he recovers fast.....I had mine hit a few days ago and I am barely beginning to see some light that I might be getting better.
Yeah, he's holding out hope for Friday... but I really don't know if it will be possible.
Just as long as he is well enough to lie there and enjoy me pampering him... Fingers crossed

Wow ... It sounds like a horrible stomach bug that hit you. Glad to hear that there are some signs you are getting better.
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Old 12-21-2013, 04:37 PM   #7
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Dear people,

I realize at this time of the year some of you like to have friends and family reunions. However, would it be too much to ask NOT to block the entire aisle while you have them?

Annoyed


Dear counter service,

No, I'm not waiting to order, I'm just standing there for my health while you talk about all the fun things you and your family are doing at this time of the year.

A customer
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Old 12-21-2013, 10:59 PM   #8
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Dear mother of DIL aka "other grandma",

Over my dead body will you ever be allowed to keep my little sweetie overnight again. Fortunately even they realize it...and therefore, my body will remain alive. So leave them alone and quit asking!

Signed,
She who will protect her little sweetie


Dear idiot at work,

You're an ass!

Signed,
Been needing to get that out and this seemed like a better place than actually blurting it out at work
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Old 12-22-2013, 02:31 PM   #9
mulehead61
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Quote:
Originally Posted by newbiebabe View Post
Dear mother of DIL aka "other grandma",

Over my dead body will you ever be allowed to keep my little sweetie overnight again. Fortunately even they realize it...and therefore, my body will remain alive. So leave them alone and quit asking!

Signed,
She who will protect her little sweetie


Dear idiot at work,

You're an ass!

Signed,
Been needing to get that out and this seemed like a better place than actually blurting it out at work
Hmmm....seems Mule needs to make a road trip down to deep in the heart of and give some asses....(no, not relatives....)
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Old 12-31-2013, 07:19 PM   #10
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Dear chip on your shoulder for no apparent reason whatsoever,


Youíre special. Yes you are. I know, because I know these things. Your opinions, your insight, yourÖwell, just you in general, it all adds up to that little bundle of joy that is you. Though, I do suspect it actually is a rather small bundle, but thatís not the point. Donít let your unresolved issues get in your way. You can be somewhat yourself without actually admitting to yourself that you arenít that special. You are though. Special. Keep being you is all Iím trying to say. Because you guessed it, youíre special. I just wanted to let you know, without letting you know, youíre in my thoughts so much these days. How can you not be? You whine and complain if youíre not the center of attention. But I guess that just makes you all the more special to all around you.

Especially yours,

Amused by your antics
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Old 01-01-2014, 12:11 AM   #11
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Dear Litsters...

Happy New Year Y'all

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Old 01-05-2014, 08:06 PM   #12
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Dear Scotch.

You're so smooth. Warming me just enough to remind me you're there. You're so gentle as you pool in my belly. Sure, my judgment and filter suffer when you're around, but my dancing becomes sublime. You're like a warm spring wind after a cold dark frosty winter. And the adjectives flow whenever you're around. I think that's what those were. Who knows at his point, and who cares? I'm already lost within your liquid caress. I don't mind. I don't mind at all, you beautiful creation. And our nights. Don't get me started in how well you tuck me in at night. Just know, all my hazy half remembered memories are because of you.

With loving adoration,

Me.
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Old 01-05-2014, 08:11 PM   #13
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Dear head,

You've made it perfectly clear that you are upset with me. I promise to go to bed early tonight if you promise to chill out.


Sincerely,

Throbbing....and not in the good way.
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Old 01-21-2014, 07:40 PM   #14
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Dear driver,

Not sure what your thought process was, but when I have to slow down to make a 90 degree turn up a fairly steep hill while trying to maintain momentum so I don't get stuck on the snowy, slippery incline while not going so fast that I slide sideways into the curb, I don't need you being literally on my ass. All you had to do was sit at the stop sign a few more seconds to give some space between us in case I misjudged my speed.

Let me guess, when you got home you bitched at your wife/girlfriend at how slow some people were driving when the roads had barely been plowed, right?

Wondering when the Ebola outbreak will take place
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Old 01-23-2014, 02:57 PM   #15
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Dear Words,

I am so so sorry so many misuse you. I've been known to, but I do it out of adoration for you. Others are not so caring or gentle with you. They throw you about without reference or understanding of what you may imply. They lessen your value in attempts to shine a brighter light upon themselves. Too often they ascribe you to what isnít. Itís appalling, I know. I simply wanted you to know you shall always hold a special place in my heart. And that I will remember how you were once used in your proper context, definitions, and proportions.

Saddened by such callousness,
Me
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Old 02-13-2014, 05:00 PM   #16
flirtygirly
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Dear X:

It's been a year. A year ago, each day was a struggle. I avoided everyone and everything. You wanted to make changes in your life, yet you've not accomplished one of them. While I was completely heartbroken then, I am now relieved because you'd still be the sad lumpy person I was trying to make happy. Receiving and reading the card you gave me today made me laugh, as well as dropping it off so we wouldn't be able to talk, not that I was anxious to do so. You've not really moved on or changed at all. But in retrospect I must thank you for the freedom I didn't want. Sure I made mistakes in searching for my happiness since then. But I am extremely happy and content now. I no longer have your gray cloud lingering about. I still think you're a total schmuck, but hope you find your own happiness somewhere along the way.

Signed...

Happier now than I ever was with you
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Old 02-27-2014, 02:23 PM   #17
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Since I don't talk negatively about my students in the realworld, I must dump this here & move on.

Dear StudentNurse,

You made the appointment with me. One of your reasons? You feel I pick on you.

I don't, I expect better of you & will push you in that direction.

Too bad you didn't show up for your appt. I had coffee & blueberry lemon muffins.

Sitting with my door closed, eating all the muffins.
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Old 02-27-2014, 02:34 PM   #18
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Dear Teacher,

Pick on me next time. I'd love to eat your muffin behind closed doors.

Signed,

I'll show up to your perky party
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Old 02-27-2014, 02:40 PM   #19
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Dear SexySexyEdibleEden

My door is off the hinges for you.

*gigglesnort*

or is it...

*snortgiggle*
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Old 02-27-2014, 02:41 PM   #20
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Dear Wife's PC,

Stop giving us both a headache. Do what you are supposed to do. Or I will throw you into the ocean. Capiche?

Signed,
Man of Little Patience
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Old 03-19-2014, 07:43 PM   #21
someoneyouknow
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Dear bicyclists,

On my way home from work today, two of you almost went splut under my car as you were both under the mistaken impression the orange hand signal meant, "Shoot across the intersection without checking to see if a car is coming."

Be aware that had you gone under my car I would have been upset but only because of the damage you and your bikes would have caused as I went thump, thump over your carcasses and the fact that I would have to wait until you left the hospital to have you cough up money to pay for my repair bills.

As there are a fair amount of tractor trailers who traverse our roads, the next time you might not be so lucky to have someone able to stop in time and instead of splut as you go under the wheels, it might be squish.

Avoiding your asses to protect my car
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Old 03-23-2014, 09:52 PM   #22
Twlightdreamer
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Dear X,

Thank you.

Thank you for helping me to realize what a self centered, childish person you were/still are. Thank you for killing the last positive feeling I had for you.

Sincerely,
Iggy button user
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