bigdaddymackman
Experienced
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The threat of doing something to someone or actually doing it to them.
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Which do you think arouses more?
- Thread starter bigdaddymackman
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VelvetDarkness
Polysyllable Whore x
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Depends on far too many other variables. Not a well thought out question IMO.
Lizzie_Borden
Real & Spectacular
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Threatening for a looooooong time and THEN following through.yes yes yes.
But then, if you wait *too* long and the moment has passed... eh
YourCaptor
Cute Girl Connoisseur
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The roller coaster or the "click click click"
SirLeo
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Anticipation
Anticipation Always. The act itself has an entirely different effect, it is physical and then it passes. Mind you, the physical can be exquisite, but anticipation can last a lifetime.....
Anticipation Always. The act itself has an entirely different effect, it is physical and then it passes. Mind you, the physical can be exquisite, but anticipation can last a lifetime.....
subish2009
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I LOVE the anticipation of a threat, and find that it can be quite effective on me over a very long period of time. In fact, I've had experiences where the threat was worse/better (depending on your point of view) than the actual action when it arrived because I "feared" it more than it turned out I should have. (Hope that made sense; not my clearest explanation ever 
)
)polarbear79
Virgin
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words, in the end, are just words. actually doing it is power. and nothing arouses more than power does.
ecstaticsub
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yourmissl
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Perhaps... a bit of both?
I'm so in the beginning learning stages.... mostly learning from where I fucked up, lol.
But it seems to me that anticipation/fear can indeed be more delicious - but only when it comes from someone who has proven their willingness to follow through in the past. Does this make sense?
I never, never bluff with my husband or my teenagers. They all know this now, and so rarely challenge me when I issue an ultimatum.
<sigh>
Maybe I'm not a sub after all.
cheers,
miss l
I'm so in the beginning learning stages.... mostly learning from where I fucked up, lol.
But it seems to me that anticipation/fear can indeed be more delicious - but only when it comes from someone who has proven their willingness to follow through in the past. Does this make sense?
I never, never bluff with my husband or my teenagers. They all know this now, and so rarely challenge me when I issue an ultimatum.
<sigh>
Maybe I'm not a sub after all.
cheers,
miss l
bigdaddymackman
Experienced
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I hate roller coasters!
bigdaddymackman
Experienced
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I enjoy watching the outcome of both.
The anticipation of the person waiting for the threat or action to be bestowed upon them. Watching them squirm and sweat while they wait.
Then watching the relief and pleasure they get from the action being carried out.
I guess I win.
The anticipation of the person waiting for the threat or action to be bestowed upon them. Watching them squirm and sweat while they wait.
Then watching the relief and pleasure they get from the action being carried out.
I guess I win.
You asked an either or question, then decided to take both options anyway? Just not cricket, my man.
So long as they're credible threats, I like the concept of threatening everything under the sun. It's what makes rape play more than just rough sex, and I adore rape play.
bigdaddymackman
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The question I posed was for the good people of this board.
I knew my preference years ago and decided to share it in this thread after I saw what other people thought.
Respectfully
Bigdaddymackman
subish2009
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The talk can very much be a form of play for some people, though. We are discussing this on Lit after all...are we really going to question how real it can feel (not for everyone, I know, but for some) even when it's "just" talk? The irony will make my head explode if we're going to go down that road...
bigdaddymackman
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Very true!
BiBunny
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Talking about pain and humiliation = mildly interesting as I waste time while I should be working
Actually being subjected to real-life pain and humiliation = off the charts hot, when done right
So, yes, we are questioning how real it can feel when it's "just" talk. Please use the mop and bucket provided to clean up the mess on the floor, should your head explode. Thank you.
subish2009
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LOL, okay maybe head exploding was a slight exaggeration...
Well, I guess it's a to-each-his-own thing. And probably depends on exactly what one is looking for, the exact dimensions of one's kink, the exact sexual preferences one holds.
Unreal to some is real to others...and vice versa. And I speak from experience, but also only from my own personal perspective.
SimonBrooke
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Anticipation Always. The act itself has an entirely different effect, it is physical and then it passes. Mind you, the physical can be exquisite, but anticipation can last a lifetime.....
H'mmm... I think unpredictability is often effective. Once you've established the fact that sometimes there will be sudden (ruthless, scary, painful or humiliating, as meets the needs of the particular sub) unprovoked incidents, then the longer you're all sweetness and light, the more she fears what's coming. And, if she doesn't know what that will be, the anticipation can be the more.
Obviously, of course, you need to strike before the iron cools, so that the trick works next time.
ecstaticsub
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Being totally into humiliation submission I can attest to the fact that talk can be very effective. It works both while in the same room or 2500 miles away. I'm not into self-inflicted pain play, nor really PYL inflicted impact play to a great extent.
Being subjected to real-life verbal humiliation/objectification is off the charts hot, when done right (in this case "real life" means the verbal coming from a PYL who is a real live human who gives a shit and the verbal can be in person or over the phone)
Last_Rider
La Fin Absolue du Monde
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My perspective on this comes more from my experience writing stories and helping friends make films than from play, so feel free to arbitrairly discard my comments.
An action without anticipation or build up isn't worth much to me, in most forms. That's not to discredit those who enjoy it, but it seems to lack perspective. I'm paraphrasing what I learned about good horror both writing and movies here, but anticipation is often times more enthralling than the action that scares you.
That said, you can't exist on anticipation alone, for reference see The Village which didn't give much payoff for all the intensity it had. Of course, the flip side is something that relies on the action without the build up, see Saw III IV V which exist only for disgusting visuals rather than anticipating something.
As for which is a greater turn on, the anticipation is a tool, used to heighten the action. Either/or are more than acceptable on their own, and which, independent of the other, is greater I believe comes to personal preference. But used in combination, if done right, I can't imagine anything better.
Please take all that with a grain of salt, I'm fairly into tease and denial, so I'm all about anticipation with the appropriate pay off.
-Rider
An action without anticipation or build up isn't worth much to me, in most forms. That's not to discredit those who enjoy it, but it seems to lack perspective. I'm paraphrasing what I learned about good horror both writing and movies here, but anticipation is often times more enthralling than the action that scares you.
That said, you can't exist on anticipation alone, for reference see The Village which didn't give much payoff for all the intensity it had. Of course, the flip side is something that relies on the action without the build up, see Saw III IV V which exist only for disgusting visuals rather than anticipating something.
As for which is a greater turn on, the anticipation is a tool, used to heighten the action. Either/or are more than acceptable on their own, and which, independent of the other, is greater I believe comes to personal preference. But used in combination, if done right, I can't imagine anything better.
Please take all that with a grain of salt, I'm fairly into tease and denial, so I'm all about anticipation with the appropriate pay off.
-Rider
RJMasters
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Can't say...depends on the mood I am in.
Do I want to satisfy my power lust by making her squirm?
Do I want to satisfy my sadist lust by getting my pound of flesh?
I believe both are deep seated needs in my psyche. For me, I have observed that it tends to go in cycles.
The question is like asking do you like apple pie or blueberry pie more? I mean fuck its PIE!
Sometimes its just better off not quantifying anything beyond the level of Pi.......e.
Do I want to satisfy my power lust by making her squirm?
Do I want to satisfy my sadist lust by getting my pound of flesh?
I believe both are deep seated needs in my psyche. For me, I have observed that it tends to go in cycles.
The question is like asking do you like apple pie or blueberry pie more? I mean fuck its PIE!
Sometimes its just better off not quantifying anything beyond the level of Pi.......e.
