Go Back   Literotica Discussion Board > Main Literotica Forums > Authors' Hangout

Reply
 
Thread Tools

Old 07-31-2009, 11:20 PM   #26
sr71plt
Literotica Guru
 
sr71plt's Avatar
 
sr71plt is offline
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Mid-Atlantic, USA
Posts: 33,297
How's that, SINserely? How about breathtaking?
__________________
______________________


  Reply With Quote

Old 07-31-2009, 11:33 PM   #27
YoursSINSerely
Beach Fried Boobs
 
YoursSINSerely's Avatar
 
YoursSINSerely is offline
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: East of the River
Posts: 19,298
Quote:
Originally Posted by sr71plt View Post
How's that, SINserely? How about breathtaking?
The commas are for breathing, Pilot. I stuck a couple of them in there. This is really how I talk without actually speaking the comma. You'd love me if you knew me. I go on and on and on and the hands are going, too.
__________________
I am Yours SINSerely,

Babs

Something fun to read and fun to wear: Black Satin Stilettos

I'm begging for one more good vote - Please Don't Go Emily
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-31-2009, 11:43 PM   #28
YoursSINSerely
Beach Fried Boobs
 
YoursSINSerely's Avatar
 
YoursSINSerely is offline
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: East of the River
Posts: 19,298
Better?

The cop pulled over the prostitute's swerving car and she knew she'd get screwed.
__________________
I am Yours SINSerely,

Babs

Something fun to read and fun to wear: Black Satin Stilettos

I'm begging for one more good vote - Please Don't Go Emily
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-31-2009, 11:55 PM   #29
sr71plt
Literotica Guru
 
sr71plt's Avatar
 
sr71plt is offline
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Mid-Atlantic, USA
Posts: 33,297
Quote:
Originally Posted by YoursSINSerely View Post
The cop pulled over the prostitute's swerving car and she knew she'd get screwed.
If you want votes on this site, it might better read: "The prostitue was screwed when the cop pulled over her swerving car."

Saved you a couple of words and didn't need the comma you forgot to use.
__________________
______________________


  Reply With Quote

Old 08-01-2009, 12:49 AM   #30
sr71plt
Literotica Guru
 
sr71plt's Avatar
 
sr71plt is offline
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Mid-Atlantic, USA
Posts: 33,297
I turned from him, spent, exhausted, used, only to come face to face with a photo of a fishing trip evocative pose and the shattering realization that he had seduced my father as well.
__________________
______________________


  Reply With Quote

Old 08-01-2009, 12:57 AM   #31
ms.read
Literotica Guru
 
ms.read's Avatar
 
ms.read is offline
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: at my pc, typing smut for your spank bank
Posts: 2,012
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stella_Omega View Post
Angels do stupid things, like getting tattoos because a mortal likes to see them wearing one, and they step onto battlefields and into bedrooms, they smile at demons-- and demons really should be careful about smiling back at angels-- and the next thing you know your bed is full of feathers, and you've forgotten all about stealing souls because your own is simply too happy to be bothered.
STELLA MAY I BORROW THIS FOR SOME NICE INSPIRATION? PLEASE!?
__________________
Sex is the best activity in life.
  Reply With Quote

Old 08-01-2009, 01:06 AM   #32
vrosej10
Questioning your sanity??
 
vrosej10's Avatar
 
vrosej10 is offline
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: NSW, reading poetry
Posts: 6,196
A beautiful woman loves me wholeheartedly but I cannot love her in return and she plunges a knife into her heart, spread-eagled on the hood of my car; only then I realise my truth.
__________________
Neolithic Fertility Goddess

Queen of typos!!

We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are. –Anais Nin

(thanks for the great quote McKenna! ).

Tell me who you hate and I'll tell you who you are.
  Reply With Quote

Old 08-01-2009, 01:07 AM   #33
vrosej10
Questioning your sanity??
 
vrosej10's Avatar
 
vrosej10 is offline
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: NSW, reading poetry
Posts: 6,196
Quote:
Originally Posted by sr71plt View Post
I turned from him, spent, exhausted, used, only to come face to face with a photo of a fishing trip evocative pose and the shattering realization that he had seduced my father as well.
Much less funny in real life. Been there, done that.
__________________
Neolithic Fertility Goddess

Queen of typos!!

We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are. –Anais Nin

(thanks for the great quote McKenna! ).

Tell me who you hate and I'll tell you who you are.
  Reply With Quote

Old 08-01-2009, 02:07 AM   #34
sr71plt
Literotica Guru
 
sr71plt's Avatar
 
sr71plt is offline
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Mid-Atlantic, USA
Posts: 33,297
Oh, the sentence stories are supposed to be funny. (bops forehead with palm of hand)

But sorry you've actually experienced it.
__________________
______________________


  Reply With Quote

Old 08-01-2009, 03:14 AM   #35
slyc_willie
Captain Crash
 
slyc_willie's Avatar
 
slyc_willie is offline
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In the flesh
Posts: 17,300
Cool

He had always expected a woman almost twice his age to be, frankly, loose and dry; the tightness and heat of her were therefore exciting surprises -- though the dryness remained, for which he had applied liberal amounts of lubricant -- of which he, an impetuous youth, had carelessly commented and she, giving him a glaring look over her shoulder, replied with, "You do know you're fucking my ass, don't you?"
  Reply With Quote

Old 08-01-2009, 04:38 AM   #36
amber03
Experienced
 
amber03 is offline
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 76
Wow - these are sooo good! It's puts my first attempts to such shame...

*wanders off to get her coat*
__________________
Just once chance, just one breath, just in case there's just one left...

My Stories

My Blog
  Reply With Quote

Old 08-01-2009, 05:35 AM   #37
vrosej10
Questioning your sanity??
 
vrosej10's Avatar
 
vrosej10 is offline
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: NSW, reading poetry
Posts: 6,196
Quote:
Originally Posted by sr71plt View Post
Oh, the sentence stories are supposed to be funny. (bops forehead with palm of hand)

But sorry you've actually experienced it.
That came out wrong from me. I was being ironic but it obviously didn't swing. It did actually happen to me, but I still found it hilarious. I really liked it. I shall endeavour to be clearer in future. Hit us with another one.
__________________
Neolithic Fertility Goddess

Queen of typos!!

We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are. –Anais Nin

(thanks for the great quote McKenna! ).

Tell me who you hate and I'll tell you who you are.
  Reply With Quote

Old 08-01-2009, 06:02 AM   #38
JAMESBJOHNSON
TRAILER TRASH KING.
 
JAMESBJOHNSON's Avatar
 
JAMESBJOHNSON is offline
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 43,553
.

.

.

.


.
__________________
A man who will criticize you openly carries no connivance. From HAGAKURE

Last edited by JAMESBJOHNSON : 08-03-2009 at 09:03 AM.
  Reply With Quote

Old 08-01-2009, 06:30 AM   #39
YoursSINSerely
Beach Fried Boobs
 
YoursSINSerely's Avatar
 
YoursSINSerely is offline
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: East of the River
Posts: 19,298
Quote:
Originally Posted by sr71plt View Post
If you want votes on this site, it might better read: "The prostitue was screwed when the cop pulled over her swerving car."

Saved you a couple of words and didn't need the comma you forgot to use.
Well, it's kind of early in the day to argue about this comma, but I believe it would be optional in my sentence. The word and takes the place of a comma between two short phrases, or it can be used to break up a lengthy sentence to give the reader a chance to breath, as you felt you needed in my first attempt of a one-sentence story.

I also thought my shorter version captures the essence of my longer version better than yours. I think yours sounds like she's going to get a ticket for drunk diving. I think mine sounds like she's going to get out of getting the ticket by screwing the cop.

Maybe it should go up for a vote.

"The prostitue was screwed when the cop pulled over her swerving car."

The cop pulled over the prostitute's swerving car and she knew she'd get screwed.
__________________
I am Yours SINSerely,

Babs

Something fun to read and fun to wear: Black Satin Stilettos

I'm begging for one more good vote - Please Don't Go Emily

Last edited by YoursSINSerely : 08-01-2009 at 06:33 AM.
  Reply With Quote

Old 08-01-2009, 11:36 AM   #40
sr71plt
Literotica Guru
 
sr71plt's Avatar
 
sr71plt is offline
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Mid-Atlantic, USA
Posts: 33,297
Quote:
Originally Posted by YoursSINSerely View Post
Well, it's kind of early in the day to argue about this comma, but I believe it would be optional in my sentence. The word and takes the place of a comma between two short phrases, or it can be used to break up a lengthy sentence to give the reader a chance to breath, as you felt you needed in my first attempt of a one-sentence story.

I also thought my shorter version captures the essence of my longer version better than yours. I think yours sounds like she's going to get a ticket for drunk diving. I think mine sounds like she's going to get out of getting the ticket by screwing the cop.

Maybe it should go up for a vote.

"The prostitue was screwed when the cop pulled over her swerving car."

The cop pulled over the prostitute's swerving car and she knew she'd get screwed.
Yeah, optional on the comma in everyday English--not so much so with publishers, who are quite traditional, wanting the roadmapping to be crystal clear.

The point on "screwed"--given in jest--was that, this being a porn board, my version delivered the screw; yours only speculated about a possibility of it.
__________________
______________________


  Reply With Quote

Old 08-01-2009, 11:56 AM   #41
FallingToFly
Political Stance: Porn
 
FallingToFly's Avatar
 
FallingToFly is offline
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Naked On The Internet
Posts: 7,692
(Stella, that was awesome!)


Somewhere between the first curve of her lips and the last breath, he realized that he had been caught- and not just caught, but taken, possessed and destroyed by the woman whose eyes taunted and defied him even as the last scarlet drops of life spilled out of her and over him.
__________________
Trouble comes in threes; The weather, the Devil, and me.

Smashwords
  Reply With Quote

Old 08-01-2009, 11:56 AM   #42
sr71plt
Literotica Guru
 
sr71plt's Avatar
 
sr71plt is offline
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Mid-Atlantic, USA
Posts: 33,297
I struggled, maddenly without success, between moans as he dug his fingers into my buttocks, rolled my nipple with his tongue, and stroked ever deeper and thicker into the quick of me, to remember what he had said his name was and why I had paid the bar bill.
__________________
______________________


  Reply With Quote

Old 08-01-2009, 12:33 PM   #43
TE999
How 'bout a kiss, baby
 
TE999's Avatar
 
TE999 is online now
Join Date: May 2006
Location: www.blindate.com
Posts: 30,057
Andrew lay in exhausted sleep on his makeshift raft of deck chairs as it drifted into a secluded cove, watched in eager anticipation by a loathsome creature that chillingly turned into the woman of his dreams...and nightmares.
__________________
I used to be disgusted, now I'm just amused.

Never be led astray into the paths of virtue.

Artists are misunderstood. Not by people, but by themselves.

Life is but active anguish in a context of flux.

"Popularity is not whether people like you, it's how many people would like you to like them." Anon.

"Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company." Mark Twain (Samuel L. Clemens)

"Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret." Ambrose Bierce

"When my ugly ol' car won't climb the hill, I'll write a suicide note on a hundred dollar bill." 'Heavy Fuel' Dire Straits

"I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints, the sinners are much more fun ..." 'Only the Good Die Young' Billy Joel

TE's stories: http://www.literotica.com/stories/me...ge=submissions
  Reply With Quote

Old 08-01-2009, 01:19 PM   #44
penandpaper
Literotica Guru
 
penandpaper's Avatar
 
penandpaper is offline
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Southern California
Posts: 524
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stella_Omega View Post
Angels do stupid things, like getting tattoos because a mortal likes to see them wearing one, and they step onto battlefields and into bedrooms, they smile at demons-- and demons really should be careful about smiling back at angels-- and the next thing you know your bed is full of feathers, and you've forgotten all about stealing souls because your own is simply too happy to be bothered.
You see Stella, that's the real problem with angels - they make everyone forget about other people's souls.

Well done!
  Reply With Quote

Old 08-01-2009, 02:05 PM   #45
YoursSINSerely
Beach Fried Boobs
 
YoursSINSerely's Avatar
 
YoursSINSerely is offline
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: East of the River
Posts: 19,298
Quote:
Originally Posted by sr71plt View Post
Yeah, optional on the comma in everyday English--not so much so with publishers, who are quite traditional, wanting the roadmapping to be crystal clear.

The point on "screwed"--given in jest--was that, this being a porn board, my version delivered the screw; yours only speculated about a possibility of it.
My Dear Pilot,

I believe your screwed was an adjective. My screwed was a verb. There were no possibilities in my sentence. She knew it was going to happen. I think she knew the cop. I think she was in love with the cop. I believe they played this game together every night on their way home from the bar. Hah!

Yeah, I knew I was writing this for a porn board and I really do try to use proper English and grammar all the time. Why would a publisher or the publisher's computer be sticking in punctuation where it wasn't needed? Just because they do it, doesn't mean it's correct. But, the punctuation here isn't my point.

I believe by you removing a few words and rearranging the words that were left behind, you have changed my whole meaning to my one-sentence story. Perhaps this could be another writing exercise. Editors have to be very careful when they edit. Would you agree?

Nonetheless, I'm copying the two sentences here, again for your review.

The prostitue was screwed when the cop pulled over her swerving car."
The cop pulled over the prostitute's swerving car and she knew she'd get screwed.

Babs
__________________
I am Yours SINSerely,

Babs

Something fun to read and fun to wear: Black Satin Stilettos

I'm begging for one more good vote - Please Don't Go Emily
  Reply With Quote

Old 08-01-2009, 02:42 PM   #46
sr71plt
Literotica Guru
 
sr71plt's Avatar
 
sr71plt is offline
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Mid-Atlantic, USA
Posts: 33,297
Quote:
Originally Posted by YoursSINSerely View Post
I believe your screwed was an adjective.
Ummm. No. "was screwed" is verbal. An accomplished act. Yours is just a presumption. Which was my point. But I was trying to extend the fun part and you seem not to be with that program. So, that's probably more than enough of that.
__________________
______________________


  Reply With Quote

Old 03-20-2013, 10:50 AM   #47
loquere
Tell me a joke
 
loquere is offline
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Genoa city Wisconsin
Posts: 6,441
Cool

The ninjas stormed into the fortress, the Prince drew his sword and cut down all his attackers. The princess impressed by his bold strength, she lounged her naked body at her defender.
  Reply With Quote

Old 03-20-2013, 11:00 AM   #48
Tio_Narratore
Everybody Party!
 
Tio_Narratore's Avatar
 
Tio_Narratore is offline
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: North
Posts: 38,533
"You've omitted a coma," the editor said as he slipped his hand up Babs' skirt; "it should be inserted here."
__________________
Link to my stories...

http://www.literotica.com/stories/me...ge=submissions
  Reply With Quote

Old 03-20-2013, 11:04 AM   #49
loquere
Tell me a joke
 
loquere is offline
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Genoa city Wisconsin
Posts: 6,441
Cool

The General marched northward with the battle cry. "The South shall rise again."
  Reply With Quote

Old 03-20-2013, 03:12 PM   #50
mynameisben
Literotica Guru
 
mynameisben's Avatar
 
mynameisben is offline
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 6,967
Life is a public toilet, brimming with the pubic hairs and un-flushed feces of a thousand faceless strangers.
__________________
"She's just like potato salad -- creamy and delicious!"

My stories: ben's stuff
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 03:22 AM.

Copyright 1998-2013 Literotica Online. Literotica is a registered trademark.