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Old 12-14-2014, 03:44 PM   #1
xtinelauren1
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Sexwork/Stripping specifically

Hello all,

so after a few weeks and a massive amount of research, I've decided that I'd like to audition at a strip club in NY when I move back in a few weeks. Has anyone here ever done any kind of sex work or does anyone here ever patronize strip clubs in their area(and not necessarily for extras)?Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
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Old 12-14-2014, 04:16 PM   #2
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Originally Posted by xtinelauren1 View Post
Hello all,

so after a few weeks and a massive amount of research, I've decided that I'd like to audition at a strip club in NY when I move back in a few weeks. Has anyone here ever done any kind of sex work or does anyone here ever patronize strip clubs in their area(and not necessarily for extras)?Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

I'm assuming you're at least relatively cute. You should probably try and find a place that already staffs girls who are of a similar cuteness.

Also be prepared, they're going to want to photograph you naked, and they get to keep those pics on file.

What questions specifically did you have though, your post is pretty open and vague.
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Old 12-14-2014, 04:35 PM   #3
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I'm assuming you're at least relatively cute. You should probably try and find a place that already staffs girls who are of a similar cuteness.

Also be prepared, they're going to want to photograph you naked, and they get to keep those pics on file.

What questions specifically did you have though, your post is pretty open and vague.
Just general tips for a newbie are appreciated. Like is it completely necessary to know pole tricks/will they want to see that during my audition?

Is taking photographs a common practice even for just topless clubs?

Is it unreasonable to aim for 4-500 during a shift in a smaller club as a newbie? I also know I need to invest in a good pair of really dancing heels, but I don't have an actual outfit yet, and I don't know if they're expecting me to have real dancewear.

Something I really want to know is how to deal with customers looking for extras when I ask if they want a dance. I'm afraid of 1: people trying to take advantage of me because I'm still green or 2: people rejecting dances because I won't give them a handjob or let them put my nipples in their mouths.

I'll post more as I think of them haha.
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Old 12-14-2014, 05:05 PM   #4
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Most clubs usually have a no touching rule which will be strictly enforced so they keep their license. You can touch the patron, but the patron can't touch you. They know that, you need to let them know you know.

Most workers, here in Texas at least, are contractors, not employee's. You make tips and that's it.

There are some states, I don't know about New York, that allow touching and in the back rooms, other stuff. Nevada comes to mind.

Most guys just want you to move and get naked. Well as naked as the law allows.

Get to know the bouncers, they will keep you safe while you are working.

Now, don't ask me how I know this shit. Please.
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Old 12-14-2014, 05:11 PM   #5
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Most clubs usually have a no touching rule which will be strictly enforced so they keep their license. You can touch the patron, but the patron can't touch you. They know that, you need to let them know you know.

Most workers, here in Texas at least, are contractors, not employee's. You make tips and that's it.

There are some states, I don't know about New York, that allow touching and in the back rooms, other stuff. Nevada comes to mind.

Most guys just want you to move and get naked. Well as naked as the law allows.

Get to know the bouncers, they will keep you safe while you are working.

Now, don't ask me how I know this shit. Please.
I won't ask, but the information is very appreciated haha.
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Old 12-15-2014, 03:26 PM   #6
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I'm baffled that someone that is clearly quite a self-proclaimed feminist is going to work at a strip club. How do you reconcile this in your head?

For the record, I think it is fantastic idea for you to do this, and I certainly don't object or mean to criticize. Go for it. Post pictures.
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Old 12-15-2014, 06:03 PM   #7
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I'm baffled that someone that is clearly quite a self-proclaimed feminist is going to work at a strip club. How do you reconcile this in your head?

For the record, I think it is fantastic idea for you to do this, and I certainly don't object or mean to criticize. Go for it. Post pictures.
Some feminists would argue that stripping and sex work can be hugely feminist, as it is the woman who is reclaiming her sexuality and that the activities are not inherently bad, but rather it is the attitude that needs to be changed. That by taking charge of one's sexuality, one subverts the perceived power instead of reifying it. In other words, if a potential stripper or sex worker enters said industry out of her volition, is treated with respect and the profession is de-stigmatised, then it is not degrading to women because it was the woman's (or man's, as many many feminists promote equality) decision to enter said workplace, thus contributing to an attitude shift that engenders acceptances.

Carol Queen and Sarah Bromberg argues their positions that most anti-stripping and anti-sex work feminism stems from theory rather than actually talking with the workers and finding out from the actual workers on how to change the abuses within the industry. In fact, Bromberg claims that anti-sex work (and stripping) is a political view that continues to degrade women into conforming to what they perceive to be patriarchal gender norms, reinforcing the concept of being a 'good' girl or 'bad' girl, which is inherently damaging to society and it will penalise any woman or man who choses to enter this industry.

Feminism is much more incredibly nuanced than it is often (unfortunately) taught to be.

To the OP, can't help you much. I did find this when googling, though, but you probably found it. Have fun and stay safe
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Old 12-15-2014, 06:13 PM   #8
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@xtinelauren1, you might want to take some time and read this thread: Tales from the Front Lines, which ran in the BDSM Forum a few years ago. While the tales are largely from the perspective of a young woman who went into direct sex work, as opposed to pole dancing, I think that you might benefit from what she revealed along the way about how she learned to deal with the customers and her own reactions to her work.
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Old 12-16-2014, 12:49 AM   #9
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Originally Posted by joelafayette View Post
I'm baffled that someone that is clearly quite a self-proclaimed feminist is going to work at a strip club. How do you reconcile this in your head?

For the record, I think it is fantastic idea for you to do this, and I certainly don't object or mean to criticize. Go for it. Post pictures.
For me, feminism means letting women have full autonomy over their own bodies.
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Old 12-16-2014, 12:52 AM   #10
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Originally Posted by fire_breeze View Post
Some feminists would argue that stripping and sex work can be hugely feminist, as it is the woman who is reclaiming her sexuality and that the activities are not inherently bad, but rather it is the attitude that needs to be changed. That by taking charge of one's sexuality, one subverts the perceived power instead of reifying it. In other words, if a potential stripper or sex worker enters said industry out of her volition, is treated with respect and the profession is de-stigmatised, then it is not degrading to women because it was the woman's (or man's, as many many feminists promote equality) decision to enter said workplace, thus contributing to an attitude shift that engenders acceptances.

Carol Queen and Sarah Bromberg argues their positions that most anti-stripping and anti-sex work feminism stems from theory rather than actually talking with the workers and finding out from the actual workers on how to change the abuses within the industry. In fact, Bromberg claims that anti-sex work (and stripping) is a political view that continues to degrade women into conforming to what they perceive to be patriarchal gender norms, reinforcing the concept of being a 'good' girl or 'bad' girl, which is inherently damaging to society and it will penalise any woman or man who choses to enter this industry.

Feminism is much more incredibly nuanced than it is often (unfortunately) taught to be.

To the OP, can't help you much. I did find this when googling, though, but you probably found it. Have fun and stay safe
I couldn't have said it any better.
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Old 12-16-2014, 01:00 AM   #11
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Also, thanks for the links! I haven't started yet, but I'm trying to get myself in the right mindset ahead of time.
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Old 12-16-2014, 04:48 AM   #12
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I recommend picking up a copy of 'Rent Girl'. ( http://www.amazon.com/Rent-Girl-Mich.../dp/0867196203 )
It is about hooking, not stripping, but it is a raw and unapologetic look at the sex trade - and how it affects the newbie worker.
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Old 12-16-2014, 09:19 AM   #13
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For what its worth I have many years experience with strippers, lap dancers, bordello hookers, street hookers, out-call hookers, lingerie models, porn actresses, etc. If you can imagine it girls do it.

That said, most of the bar girls I knew made their money at parties with customers where drugs, money, and liquor were plentiful. That is, gofers pick up girls for the boss or clients. Quite often the girls had babies and my job was to locate Baby-daddy for a dependency lawsuit by the state after mama applied for welfare.

Your greatest risk is pregnancy and drug addiction and HIS wife.
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Old 12-16-2014, 12:44 PM   #14
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Laws and enforcement thereof vary from state to state, county to county, and even within different clubs in the same county. As a general rule, the more "elegant" the club, the less tolerance there is for extra activities. The sleazier the club, the more the dancers and patrons are allowed to get away with.

You will find out very quickly from the other girls what is tolerated or expected from the patrons and dancers. Watch them. If you see hands being slapped and faces pushed away, then you know that isn't allowed. If nipples in men's mouths and handjobs under the tables, then you know that is tolerated there.

The only way to know precisely ahead of time is to talk to dancers and customers of the particular club where you expect to work. I could tell you about ten different clubs in Miami, but it tells you nothing about the club in NY where you are going.
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Old 12-16-2014, 07:13 PM   #15
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Laws and enforcement thereof vary from state to state, county to county, and even within different clubs in the same county. As a general rule, the more "elegant" the club, the less tolerance there is for extra activities. The sleazier the club, the more the dancers and patrons are allowed to get away with.

You will find out very quickly from the other girls what is tolerated or expected from the patrons and dancers. Watch them. If you see hands being slapped and faces pushed away, then you know that isn't allowed. If nipples in men's mouths and handjobs under the tables, then you know that is tolerated there.

The only way to know precisely ahead of time is to talk to dancers and customers of the particular club where you expect to work. I could tell you about ten different clubs in Miami, but it tells you nothing about the club in NY where you are going.
The information I've been finding for the club I'm looking into is mostly positive, so it's making me a little less nervous. Any insider knowledge/tips are more than appreciated
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Old 12-17-2014, 11:03 AM   #16
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You should have your own distinct 'style' different to the other girls too. That way clients get to know you more independently from the crowd of other strippers.
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Old 12-17-2014, 07:30 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by xtinelauren1 View Post
Just general tips for a newbie are appreciated. Like is it completely necessary to know pole tricks/will they want to see that during my audition?

Is taking photographs a common practice even for just topless clubs?

Is it unreasonable to aim for 4-500 during a shift in a smaller club as a newbie? I also know I need to invest in a good pair of really dancing heels, but I don't have an actual outfit yet, and I don't know if they're expecting me to have real dancewear.

Something I really want to know is how to deal with customers looking for extras when I ask if they want a dance. I'm afraid of 1: people trying to take advantage of me because I'm still green or 2: people rejecting dances because I won't give them a handjob or let them put my nipples in their mouths.

I'll post more as I think of them haha.
Deffinitely not necessary to know pole tricks, unless you're trying out for some specialized club. The management is just looking for more tits to be able to fill out the schedule with.

Yes, most places photograph the girls for some sort of record-keeping purposes.

$400-500 definitely seems on the high side for a newbie at a small club. My friend worked at a small club near our college and she usually could get up to 300 a shift.

A GREAT place to start for simple but stripper-ish clothes is American Apparel. They sell a variety of shiny/revealing stuff. Perhaps look at

Shiny vinyl crop tank: http://store.americanapparel.net/vin...tank_rsapsv384

Shiny vinyl skirt: http://store.americanapparel.net/vin...skirt_rsapv300

And american apparel has a special name for this kind of bathing suit, but I just call it the Boob Suit: http://store.americanapparel.net/nyl...swimsuit_rnt36

as someone else noted, most places have no-touching rules that are very VERY strictly enforced.



And in regards to the discussion going on about whether or not stripping/sex work in general is compatible with feminism, perhaps you guys are thinking about it wrong.

In a scenario where I am up on stage, literally don't have to do much of anything except stand there and let people gawk, and the guys are busy throwing their hard earned cash at me just to see my boobs, I would argue that its the GUYS being taken advantage of....
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Old 12-17-2014, 11:38 PM   #18
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I was actually thinking American Apparel. Thanks!
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Old 02-07-2015, 06:47 PM   #19
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*Bump*

...and reply:

I've spent a little bit of time in topless/strip clubs, not a lot. The clubs in my area are "go-go dancing" clubs only (bikini bottoms and pasties required at all times). I've been to a few while traveling. My experience is that I'm most inclined to tip and spend time with the girls that are sweet, friendly, quiet, make a lot of eye contact with me and have a "girl-next-door" look about them. I guess I'm there primarily for companionship and the girls that figure that out get my attention.
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Old 02-07-2015, 06:48 PM   #20
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Oh, also:

I assume you've spent some time in the clubs, found the one you like best, observed the girls in action, had private dances with them, talked with them, etc.? I would think that would be the best way to learn about the art.
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Old 02-08-2015, 12:03 PM   #21
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Did the OP ever audition for the club? Any updates?
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Old 02-08-2015, 02:50 PM   #22
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*Bump*

...and reply:

I've spent a little bit of time in topless/strip clubs, not a lot. The clubs in my area are "go-go dancing" clubs only (bikini bottoms and pasties required at all times). I've been to a few while traveling. My experience is that I'm most inclined to tip and spend time with the girls that are sweet, friendly, quiet, make a lot of eye contact with me and have a "girl-next-door" look about them. I guess I'm there primarily for companionship and the girls that figure that out get my attention.
Quote:
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Oh, also:

I assume you've spent some time in the clubs, found the one you like best, observed the girls in action, had private dances with them, talked with them, etc.? I would think that would be the best way to learn about the art.
Wow, you actually found it. I've actually only been to one club when I was living in Boston, and was severely unimpressed. If I didn't move, I'd of probably aimed to work there just to practice.
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Old 02-08-2015, 02:56 PM   #23
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Did the OP ever audition for the club? Any updates?
I never moved back to NY, so no. There aren't nearly as many choices where I live, but it's still a goal. I'm already a stripper in my head, it's going to happen.
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Old 02-08-2015, 04:35 PM   #24
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One of the sexiest things a woman can say:

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I'm already a stripper in my head...
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Old 02-09-2015, 12:26 PM   #25
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Originally Posted by xtinelauren1 View Post
Hello all,

so after a few weeks and a massive amount of research, I've decided that I'd like to audition at a strip club in NY when I move back in a few weeks. Has anyone here ever done any kind of sex work or does anyone here ever patronize strip clubs in their area(and not necessarily for extras)?Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
I used to be an exotic dancer.

A few tips if you get hired: Leave strong smelling perfumes at home for dates. Instead, wear a lightly scented lotion with shimmer in it to make your skin look nicer on stage.

Dim club lighting can wash out your makeup. Wear darker eye products than you would for everyday life. I suggest LOTS of -Mascara and False Eyelashes-, guys really respond to those.

Be creative with your costumes. Bikini's are fun and easy but don't be afraid to go nuts with your ideas. Don't be afraid to use fun UV responding cosmetics if the club has blacklights. Don't be afraid to use cosmetics on your body to make yourself stand out and look incredible. You're there to make money, so highlight your best features!

If you can afford it, wax or sugar instead of shaving. Smooth skin without stubble or razor burn will get you better tips.

I would say a solid 3/4 of your job is socializing with the guys. Stay relaxed and calm, be friendly and flirtatious. Pretend they're your boyfriends that you haven't gotten to see in a while. Treat them like you love them, they're there for the fantasy that a beautiful woman that cares about them is happy to see them. Eye contact and loving, gentle physical contact will earn you the best tips.

NEVER be afraid to tell a bouncer if a client is being inappropriate with you. Stand up for yourself and don't let a guy railroad you. It doesn't matter if "other girls have let him do XYZ" or "I've been coming here for years!", you're there to work, not to be abused or taken advantage of. It doesn't happen very often but if you work as a sex worker for any length of time it WILL happen eventually. Resign yourself to the fact and be prepared for it!
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