Old 03-07-2015, 03:37 PM   #1
pvc_sister
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What do I do?

I started speaking to a guy on a dating site a few months ago, we got on really well and started seeing each other. Nothing serious, we'd get together once a week and have great sex and email each other at least once a day.

Last Saturday night he came over, again great sex and he left on Sunday morning. I messaged him a couple of times but heard nothing. On Thursday I noticed he was on the dating site again. Now, I have no problem, neither of us seem to want to be exclusive, it's just a fuck buddy thing. He messaged me (probably because he saw me online) but he just responded to my earlier email, asked how my week had been and that was that. I've messaged him since, one with pictures, and one with what I'd like to do to him, which are quite common for us but still nothing.

I'm sure he's losing interest and I want to outright ask him but don't know how. Frankly I'm pissed off and a little upset, and knowing me maybe paranoid but I don't want to keep messaging him if he doesn't want me to.

What do I do?
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Old 03-07-2015, 03:53 PM   #2
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Originally Posted by pvc_sister View Post
I started speaking to a guy on a dating site a few months ago, we got on really well and started seeing each other. Nothing serious, we'd get together once a week and have great sex and email each other at least once a day.

Last Saturday night he came over, again great sex and he left on Sunday morning. I messaged him a couple of times but heard nothing. On Thursday I noticed he was on the dating site again. Now, I have no problem, neither of us seem to want to be exclusive, it's just a fuck buddy thing. He messaged me (probably because he saw me online) but he just responded to my earlier email, asked how my week had been and that was that. I've messaged him since, one with pictures, and one with what I'd like to do to him, which are quite common for us but still nothing.

I'm sure he's losing interest and I want to outright ask him but don't know how. Frankly I'm pissed off and a little upset, and knowing me maybe paranoid but I don't want to keep messaging him if he doesn't want me to.

What do I do?
It is a big thing and he dumped you. Move-on.
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Old 03-07-2015, 04:32 PM   #3
lovecraft68
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This is your choice of course, but whether you say anything to him or not he has moved on.

Those sites are meat markets. You guys had some fun and now he is looking for a new flavor. He has probably done it before and will again.

So you could send him a message saying so....we're through? Or just move on. UP to how much an actual response means to you.

My opinion is not to chase him. You will look pathetic if you do and it would let him know he can always use you as a plan B/C if he can't hook up elsewhere.

Another thing to consider is a lot of these guys(and some of the women too) are married or in some type of relationship and use these sites to play on the side. That type will move from girl to girl because he cannot have any type of attachment.

My question is if it was truly just FWB type thing, whu do you care? Just move on as he has.
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Old 03-07-2015, 04:43 PM   #4
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Assume that you are on the market for a new FWB and act accordingly. For one: in case he never comes back you will not have wasted time, and two you will be more attractive and less needy appearing if you look like a girl with options.

We can tell you are attached, he probably can too. Since that is not what you signed up for, you have to at least appear that you are not needy, even if you are fond of him.
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Old 03-07-2015, 04:47 PM   #5
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I guess the reason I care is because I'd rather he told me that was that instead of just messaging me. I can't really have a relationship because of my disabilities (I don't want to be a burden on anyone) so nsa is ideal for me.

I'm a grown woman so if he wanted to stop, all he had to do was say. I'm not going to chase him, but it would have been nice to know one way or another.
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Old 03-07-2015, 06:15 PM   #6
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Just because he continues to advertise on a dating site does not mean he wants to stop the FWB relationship with you. How you deal with that situation is entirely up to you.

The "I won't ask him" because it is up to him to tell me is not really working is it? Blaming him for not communicating answers to questions you are too afraid to ask will lose the relationship as assuredly as him offering up your worst fears of "it is over". If you have a question to ask of him - ask it.
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Old 03-07-2015, 07:11 PM   #7
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I don't know why women are like this. I guess it is the Mars, Venus thing. What is it you want to know that you don't know already? Do you have to be hit in the head with a hammer? This guy doesn't get any awards but this isn't rocket science. It's time to move on.

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Old 03-09-2015, 08:12 AM   #8
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I don't know why women are like this. I guess it is the Mars, Venus thing. What is it you want to know that you don't know already? Do you have to be hit in the head with a hammer? This guy doesn't get any awards but this isn't rocket science. It's time to move on.
Nailed It!!
You keep mentioning your a grown woman, so you should not need to be told. You were smart enough to figure it out. Now you have the opportunity to move on to something new with no issues to deal with. Enjoy that there was no drama.
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Old 03-09-2015, 09:33 AM   #9
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Long

A LONG time ago a counselor advised that sex does something to the brain of the participants in the way of creating a connection that is not casual. So you can SAY "It's just a FWB deal." But, judging by your reaction to his losing interest, your mind wants something more. You can say you just want him to be honest but it would not be surprising to this old guy if there isn't some grief and hurt involved. How are you plan to deal with the next bloke that comes along? The same way?
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Old 03-09-2015, 10:36 AM   #10
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The posters to HT remind me of the doomed souls in Dante's Inferno who chase their tails in search of something new and untried. All the worst ideas come here to die.
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Old 03-09-2015, 12:42 PM   #11
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Nailed It!!
You keep mentioning your a grown woman, so you should not need to be told. You were smart enough to figure it out. Now you have the opportunity to move on to something new with no issues to deal with. Enjoy that there was no drama.
This! If you really need confirmation, just message or whatever and ask him. Why be falsely coy about it?
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Old 03-11-2015, 10:58 AM   #12
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Be completely honest with yourself. Are you having emotional feelings for him? Only you can answer that. IF you are then that's a whole other issue and you need to be ready to accept that he really is into it just for nsa sex. However if you truly have no emotions tied to him at all and just miss the occasional sex (and it hasn't really been long enough yet to say that has stopped) then the first thing you have to do is stop messaging him. Do NOT chase him. If he wants to continue your arrangement then trust me he will find you. If not, then let it lie and find someone else. Horny men are a dime a dozen.
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