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Old 10-03-2016, 01:46 AM   #1
marshallrinkes
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Advice on being a Dom

Hi everyone I was wondering if anyone had any advice on being a Dom. I am almost 99 percent of the time a sub. I get pleasure from pleasing others. My husband is the Dom and I am the sub. I want to try something different and be the Dom and him be the sub but it's hard for me to get into that character. I'm not very forceful so i need some help. He has never asked. He has hinted that he would like me to try to be more dominate in bed. If anyone has any advice that would be awesome. Thanks!
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Old 10-03-2016, 11:29 AM   #2
MastersDelight
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Quote:
Originally Posted by marshallrinkes View Post
Hi everyone I was wondering if anyone had any advice on being a Dom. I am almost 99 percent of the time a sub. I get pleasure from pleasing others. My husband is the Dom and I am the sub. I want to try something different and be the Dom and him be the sub but it's hard for me to get into that character. I'm not very forceful so i need some help. He has never asked. He has hinted that he would like me to try to be more dominate in bed. If anyone has any advice that would be awesome. Thanks!
Ummm, he's hinted so maybe ask him what it is he has in mind? Or if he can point you to a video or a story that appeals to him? Whatever you do I would employ a blindfold so you can feel less awkward with him watching you. But it sounds like you aren't the dominant type. Don't force yourself to do something you aren't comfortable with.
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Old 10-03-2016, 12:54 PM   #3
NoeMasks
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Quote:
Originally Posted by marshallrinkes View Post
Hi everyone I was wondering if anyone had any advice on being a Dom. I am almost 99 percent of the time a sub. I get pleasure from pleasing others. My husband is the Dom and I am the sub. I want to try something different and be the Dom and him be the sub but it's hard for me to get into that character. I'm not very forceful so i need some help. He has never asked. He has hinted that he would like me to try to be more dominate in bed. If anyone has any advice that would be awesome. Thanks!
Think of it was a case of WWDD, or playing a role in a play. How would you like a Dom to treat you, then do it your self to him. For to sake of your relationship talk about it first, no hints, no ambiguity, no mincing words. Flipping the Switch, when both parties are not on board, can lead to disaster.
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Old 10-03-2016, 01:22 PM   #4
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You might be interested in this thread... for a little light reading about Doms...

"What is it that a Dom does?" http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1344232

and since you have ideas at least from the "s" /pyl side... you may have some ideas of your own to add....

good luck. and I would echo NoeMasks warning. Communicate.
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Old 10-03-2016, 04:49 PM   #5
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First, I'd have some type of dialogue about whether or not this is something he is looking for. Hints are good, they can subtly convey direction without the need for proverbial roadmaps, but you should perhaps attempt to find something a bit more concrete before springing this on him. That way, you avoid potential awkwardness, as well as any sort of rejection or feeling like you've somehow failed each other. You are already married and obviously love each other, there's no need to rush.

As for " tips ", it all depends on what he likes. Being " forceful " is good, but can take many forms besides the physical, something I'm sure you are already aware of. Simple verbal teasing, or leading, is one of the most basic and useful things you can utilize. Coaxing things out of someone, whether they are embarrassing answers to questions, requests for specific things they want done to them, or even just whether or not something feels good, can put an entirely new spin on things. This will not only allow him to relinquish control and adopt the role you suspect he has a desire to experience, but also tell you exactly what you want to know and how to act accordingly. You already know what he likes, now you are going to turn that on it's head and give him what you know he needs, while make sure he is vocal in how grateful he is. As for specific types of things you could do in regards to play, that will follow naturally once you get him good and " honest ". I wish you luck.
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