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Old 04-23-2015, 11:14 PM   #1
Julianoble
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vibrators during sex-lesbian

Question: I'm a lesbian and I need a vibrator (small bullet with battery 4-pack) to come and wonder how to introduce vibrator play with a new partner. It seems like everyone I've been with doesn't need one to come so I always feel awkward about using it. If they're not into them, I don't feel it's exciting to have it in action. What does anyone think-new partner this coming weekend
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Old 04-23-2015, 11:55 PM   #2
MmmMadam
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I saw your post on another thread and thought I'd try to answer your question. I'm a straight female but before now, all my partners felt like vibrators were the enemy. I'm assuming you need the clitoral stimulation, as opposed to you specifically needing a vibrator? Or is it that you've used vibrators so frequently that you can't cum by using your fingers? There is nothing at all with reaching and stimulating yourself whilst someone gives you oral or is penetrating you, or in any other way if that is what you enjoy.

A couple of months into my relationship, I was at my home and I briefly mentioned I had a box of toys after watching a program on TV which related to the topic and I turned it into somewhat of a joke. This piqued my partner's interest but he didn't say much about it because I hadn't asked. A couple of days later, I asked if he minded me using it during foreplay - when we kissed, caressed and worked up to the main event. He was fine with me using it on myself but felt a little envious especially as I guess I was a bit like you at first, I found many times I wanted to finish off with a quick buzz but for me, it was more of a mental thing than physical, after me using a vibe frequently for a couple of years. So after a while, I told him I wanted him to learn about my body so I showed him how I liked it and he experimented by using it on me. It was a journey, as much as I had to learn about my body as a young woman and with previous sexual partners, he had to educate himself about my body too - as I did with him.

Long story short: You have two options, talking about how you like your body worked beforehand, which is perfectly normal. You could talk about your best sexual experiences and mention that you like your trusty bullet vibe or keep your vibe near by and ask whether she minds if you use it, when you're engaging in foreplay. You could explain it after. The way I see it, if she isn't keen on you using it and understanding, then are you sexually compatible? I wouldn't see it as a deal breaker but I guess I'd see it as a challenge to see if I could wean my partner off of having to use it regularly.
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Old 04-24-2015, 12:16 AM   #3
Julianoble
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vibrators

Thanks for your thoughtful remarks. I've thought about this long and hard and I have avoided having orgasms with a partner for years because I didn't want the nice 'flow' to get interrupted by using a vibe. No one I've ever been with has indicated an interest in them much less needed them. I was with one woman once who used one and I had the feeling I was no longer involved because she was just concentrating on bringing herself to an orgasm. I thought to myself, this is how I'm afraid a partner will feel with me...involved and then put off to the side....
I'm thinking that I won't introduce it the first time and if she notices I haven't come I'll just lightly say I need a vibrator and I can teach her how to use one on me sometime. I want her to want me to come because it gets her off, not because she cares and wants to be 'fair'. Sexual pleasure for me is pleasing my partner but I can never truly believe that my pleasure is/would be arousing for her. Just a block I have. I'd rather not come at all if it's not arousing her (say if she's already come). I actually like feeling my own arousal go on and on without release, for me it makes sex wonderfully endless. Anymore thoughts are appreciated in advance. Take care!
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Old 04-24-2015, 01:35 AM   #4
ScottishTess
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I can fully identify with your dilemma Juila! My advice is to be open and honest about your needs. I'm a Lesbian too but I also love my toys! Not all my partners have enjoyed penetration though (either with toys or digitally) and everyone is different. Maybe just tell her you find it hard to come , set her the challenge. By clear communication of both your likes , needs and dislikes, she will understand that even though you might end up with her using the vibe on you, there is no reason why she must have it used on her too....

Good luck and feel free to IM me if you want
Tess
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Old 04-24-2015, 06:55 PM   #5
HunterAsh
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Depending upon the type of vibrator (you might need to go shopping), I'm wondering if one could be put between you so that both could enjoy it at the same time. Your partner might not need the extra stimulation, but would probably like it, nonetheless. And it prevents that separation of one person using the vibe and the other feeling left out.

Just a thought. :-) Actually, it's a rather arousing thought. For me, at least.
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