Bandit's Blurt and Vent Thread

[Bandit58]

I see several people have their own little corner of Lit where they can vent and blurt away, so I decided that instead of posting bits and pieces here and there that I would start my own thread.

I put this on the What Pissed You Off Today thread, and so I thought I'd put it here too:

It looks like there is a problem with Sir's fistula (for haemodialysis).

I had problems getting the venous cannula in on Friday (it seemed like it was in but no flash of blood in the tube). So we raced to the hospital where one of the nurses managed to get it in (with some difficulty I might add) and so we raced back home again to get Him on the machine....we managed the full 8 hours but the venous pressure was much higher than normal so we had to run the blood pump slower (210ml/min as opposed to 270/280 ml/min we normally get).

I've had problems before but have been able to resolve them - but not this time.

We believe there is some clotting or narrowing (again ). We rang the Sydney Dialysis Centre and told them, someone is coming tomorrow at 11.30am to watch me cannulate.....why I do not know as it's obvious there's a problem with the fistula and NOT my technique They've kept a spot open at the hospital tomorrow afternoon for an ultrasound, if there's clotting or narrowing then He will need a fistulagram (a clean out or stretching of the fistula with a stent). He may need another vascath in His neck so He can be dialysed, He's on blood thinners so they will need to be stopped for a couple days prior, and I am so upset because we do not deserve this....we've had six months of relatively trouble free dialysis why does this have to happen now

Maybe I am getting ahead of myself but we've been through this too many times. He's talking about going back to the hospital for dialysis - I do not want that, He's so much better when we can do it here at home.

I'm frustrated, angry and upset, I know it is nothing that I have done but it's hard not to blame myself

[minx1]

Originally Posted by Bandit58

I see several people have their own little corner of Lit where they can vent and blurt away, so I decided that instead of posting bits and pieces here and there that I would start my own thread.

I put this on the What Pissed You Off Today thread, and so I thought I'd put it here too:

It looks like there is a problem with Sir's fistula (for haemodialysis).

I had problems getting the venous cannula in on Friday (it seemed like it was in but no flash of blood in the tube). So we raced to the hospital where one of the nurses managed to get it in (with some difficulty I might add) and so we raced back home again to get Him on the machine....we managed the full 8 hours but the venous pressure was much higher than normal so we had to run the blood pump slower (210ml/min as opposed to 270/280 ml/min we normally get).

I've had problems before but have been able to resolve them - but not this time.

We believe there is some clotting or narrowing (again ). We rang the Sydney Dialysis Centre and told them, someone is coming tomorrow at 11.30am to watch me cannulate.....why I do not know as it's obvious there's a problem with the fistula and NOT my technique They've kept a spot open at the hospital tomorrow afternoon for an ultrasound, if there's clotting or narrowing then He will need a fistulagram (a clean out or stretching of the fistula with a stent). He may need another vascath in His neck so He can be dialysed, He's on blood thinners so they will need to be stopped for a couple days prior, and I am so upset because we do not deserve this....we've had six months of relatively trouble free dialysis why does this have to happen now

Maybe I am getting ahead of myself but we've been through this too many times. He's talking about going back to the hospital for dialysis - I do not want that, He's so much better when we can do it here at home.

I'm frustrated, angry and upset, I know it is nothing that I have done but it's hard not to blame myself

He doesn't call you wonder woman for nothing yanno

Hope tomorrow goes well. Thinking of you

[ultramarineblue]

Originally Posted by Bandit58

*snip*

I'm frustrated, angry and upset, I know it is nothing that I have done but it's hard not to blame myself

This is something I really struggle with in a variety of situations.

[daddiespet]

i hope it gets better *hugs*

[FurryFury]

*HUGS and HUGS*

[myinnerslut]

good luck.

[Bandit58]

Well, the woman from SDC came as arranged. I tried to cannulate the venous buttonhole - no luck. She took over, tried to draw back on the syringe filled with saline attached to the cannula and a small clot came through.

I filled a couple more syringes with saline and she drew out a long "tube" of soft clotted blood. Continued doing that until we had fresh blood, then flushed with a mixture of 9ml saline 1ml heparin. I put the other cannula in, flushed that, connected Sir to the machine and we were away. Pressures are good and He is comfortable. Relief all round

We are still going to insist on an ultrasound just to check all is ok. I am to try to cannulate again on Wednesday and to let them know the outcome either way. SDC woman tells me my cannulation technique is excellent - Sir tells me He knew that anyway

I can breathe again

[myinnerslut]

glad things are going well again, that must have been scary.

breathing is very important. i hope you keep doing that

[Bandit58]

Originally Posted by myinnerslut

glad things are going well again, that must have been scary.

breathing is very important. i hope you keep doing that

Thanks mis *grin* There are times when I have to breathe through my ears....

[myinnerslut]

Originally Posted by Bandit58

Thanks mis *grin* There are times when I have to breathe through my ears....

i know the feeling.

then there are the times im so caught up in life i forget to breath at all.... followed by the inevitable crash

[FurryFury]

I'm so glad things are looking better.

[ultramarineblue]

Originally Posted by myinnerslut

i know the feeling.

then there are the times im so caught up in life i forget to breath at all.... followed by the inevitable crash

And that crash usually sucks.

[Bandit58]

We decided to go to the hospital yesterday and ask for an ultrasound. This showed some stenosis (narrowing) of the fistula so it was arranged that Sir would have a fistulagram, hopefully that day.
Luckily for us there was a doctor available at one of the private hospitals who does not worry that a patient has been taking blood thinners or that they have not been fasting - in fact Sir was encouraged to have lunch before we went there

Sir had the fistulagram yesterday afternoon, under a local anaesthetic and a little sedation. He was awake when I was allowed to see Him, and we successfully made it home by about 5.30pm. We were told not to dialyse today so we won't know until tomorrow how things will go. His arm is quite tender so cannulation could be a fun time (not).

I am emotionally exhausted and I have developed a cold sore from all the stress Just what I need!

[graceanne]

*hugs*

Wish I could help.

[Bandit58]

Originally Posted by graceanne

*hugs*

Wish I could help.

Virtual hugs are good thank you grace....so sorry to hear about your grandpa *hugs back*

[FurryFury]

*HUGS*

I'm sending you positive thoughts.

[Bandit58]

Originally Posted by FurryFury

*HUGS*

I'm sending you positive thoughts.

Thanks FF Sir was impressed with this doctor, much more so than many others He has dealt with, but tomorrow will tell as we try dialysis again

[Bandit58]

Well we had problems again with the venous buttonhole. We went back to the hospital where our nurse cannulated with a sharp needle a little further down - success Sir is still dialysing as I type and things have gone smoothly so far.

It looks like we will have to form a new buttonhole - the other may have scar tissue in the tunnel preventing the cannula from going in. This means we use a sharp one for about 8-10 times to form a new tunnel into the fistula. The danger of using a sharp means more chance of "bombing" the fistula, meaning the needle goes through the other side causing a haematoma. I have used sharps before but am going to be very careful while we form the new buttonhole.

[Bandit58]

Sir is safely on the machine, the cannulation today was successful The new buttonhole is going to be about a centimetre (1/2 inch) below the old one.

I can't tell you how relieved I feel, that we were able to do this today without a problem. I was getting so sick and tired of things always seeming to go wrong for us. No doubt something similar will happen again, and Sir may need regular fistulagrams to prevent this, but we will see when He sees His renal doctor on Monday.

[FurryFury]

I'm so glad things are working right now.

*HUGS*

[Noor]

Originally Posted by Bandit58

Sir is safely on the machine, the cannulation today was successful The new buttonhole is going to be about a centimetre (1/2 inch) below the old one.

I can't tell you how relieved I feel, that we were able to do this today without a problem. I was getting so sick and tired of things always seeming to go wrong for us. No doubt something similar will happen again, and Sir may need regular fistulagrams to prevent this, but we will see when He sees His renal doctor on Monday.

Hugs to both of you! I am very relieved to hear things are better.

[Bandit58]

Originally Posted by FurryFury

I'm so glad things are working right now.

*HUGS*

Originally Posted by Noor

Hugs to both of you! I am very relieved to hear things are better.

Thank you
Seeing as Sir will have spent most of Valentine's Day on the machine, we are having our own Valentine's Day tomorrow

[Bandit58]

It looks like things have finally settled down again - I have managed another two cannulations with sharps with no problem and dialysis is going well.

Sir saw His renal doctor on Monday and was told to increase His dry weight, which is the weight we aim for at the end of dialysis. He has been having a lot of trouble with excruciating leg cramps. Now we know that His weight was too low, and He was too "dry". So instead of going for 83kg we are now going for 85.5kg. I must be feeding Him too well! The cramping has eased dramatically over the last couple of days and He tells me He feels better - not as "drained" (pardon the pun )

Also just wanted to add that we are back to "playing" again - when things like this past week happen I tend to stress and "switch off" my sexual self. We have resolved that no matter what happens we will still make time for our relationship and not let unpleasant medical shit put it on the back burner. Sir said that those times are when closeness is most needed....and those times are when we both need reassurance and love.

[Sir_Winston54]

Very glad to hear that things are looking up for you and Gil... and that you're wise enough to make some time in these difficult times for yourselves. While adversity alone can strengthen a relationship, it more often does when the parties are resolved that it do so and give it the opportunity.

[catalina_francisco]

Easier said than done, but try not to be so hard on yourself in these moments. We often forget what it is we do in our day to day service, or more to the point, the part it plays in serving the one we love...it is wonderful when they remind us and things are back on track.

Catalina