Go Back   Literotica Discussion Board > Main Literotica Forums > BDSM Talk

Reply
 
Thread Tools

Old 11-21-2008, 02:13 PM   #126
JMohegan
.
 
JMohegan's Avatar
 
JMohegan is offline
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 8,226
Quote:
Originally Posted by eastern sun View Post
To everyone who feels that he is irresponsible or worse. . .

let me remind you that you are judging him on the basis of a story I wrote. I have intentionally painted a picture that captured the experience from my own perspective, one that reinforced my identity as "slave." If he were to write the story, it would undoubtably turn out differently.

To get a fuller picture, I would refer you to Homburg's posts. He has characterized who my husband actually is most accurately.

I don't doubt that fatherhood has cramped my husband's style. I know that there are a number of simple pleasures that he misses. But he would never put our children in danger. He believes that I am a better judge of our children's needs, and he rarely questions my judgement, even though it frequently goes against his wishes. And because he supports me when I'm right (and challenges me when I'm wrong - I really do need to give them a healthier diet) I trust him enough to call him my master.

Please do not use this story about our lives to judge us harshly. If you read carefully, we made no mistakes. Our children are safe.

I think the nature of the discussion is fascinating though. I do learn from your comments. And welcome everyone's perspective.
I have no idea if your husband is irresponsible in general. Everybody makes mistakes and errors in judgment at times. As I said earlier, I do believe his insistence that you leave the children alone demonstrated poor judgment, i.e., he acted irresponsibly "in this instance."

Homburg wrote: "If the other kid gets hurt, she could get sued or arrested. The burden of responsibility is enormous, and thus defiance is totally understandable IMO." I agree.

You wrote: "I hope most people have the response you have, and see clearly that being a slave does not abrogate you from responsibility, and the obligation of making good decisions regarding children in your care." I agree, but would add: I hope most people see clearly that being a master does not abrogate you from responsibility, and the obligation of making good decisions regarding children in your care.

You say he considers you to be a better judge of the children's needs than he is, and supports you when you're right. His response to your "defiance" seems an odd way of demonstrating that support. But if it works for you both, no problem.
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-21-2008, 02:16 PM   #127
eastern sun
hungry little creature
 
eastern sun's Avatar
 
eastern sun is offline
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: New York
Posts: 2,639
Quote:
Originally Posted by Homburg View Post
I'd hoped that my similar perspective would help, but I did worry about over-stepping bounds. You've said he reads this thread on occasion.
He's grateful for your shared perspective.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Homburg View Post

Something many people seem to miss is that slave's can still "take the lead" in an M/s relationship, in certain circumstances. Do they take a leadership position? No, of course not, but, as mentioned above, viv knows the kids' needs better, so I tend to give her opinion more weight.

A similar example would be Netz comment about making use of H's wisdom. When your slave is knowledgable and competent, you tend to make use of that knowledge and competence. There is nothing challenging towards the power dynamic about acknowledging that your slave knows more about a given topic than you do.
Thank you for bringing this up. It's an important aspect of our relationship. He is pleased when I take charge of a situation that doesn't interest him, or for which he doesn't have time. And he gives me tremendous freedom to do in those situations as I see fit. For instance, we just did a basement renovation that he left almost completely up to me. I was, in fact, serving him, by working with the contractors without troubling him.

That's why I keep saying that there are no set rules of behavior. What serves one M might piss another M off. The deeper reality is the nature of the relationship between M and s. And the pleasure we derive from it.

(I have found, perhaps ironically, though . . . if I want more freedom in any given situation, I need to more closely ensure that I am pleasing him day to day.)
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-21-2008, 02:19 PM   #128
Kathykitten
Really Experienced
 
Kathykitten is offline
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Norway! The country of Vikings and Barbarians
Posts: 125
Quote:
Originally Posted by Homburg View Post


"Dominant" is a less than accurate term for this particular milieu. While it puts a fine point on things, he is not a "dominant" in this relationship. He is the "Master". It is not D/s, it's M/s. The rules are different.

That said, even in D/s, while the dominant partner is not more important in toto, by the structure of the dynamic, said dominant partners wants are per force more important, and certainly more immediate. That is pretty intrinsic to the formation of an unequal power relationship.

Again, the dominant person is not more important in theory, but his or her wants are more important, at least in the sort of micro view we're talking here. In any functional relationship, no one's needs are more important in the macro sense, but there is no long view being taken here.
Is that to say that in all truth, he truly is more worth and more important than Eastern Sun? Not trying to strike any debate here, just out of curiosity. I fully respect that the masters needs and wants come first, that is a given in the M/S. but underneath all of this, surely they are both in it because they want, need, and love eachother pasisonately. And respect eachother at an equal basis, along with all their individual desires.

It is from that standpoint that I think its worth questioning if he has forgotten the worth of her sacrifice to him, when he could think of giving her punishment for a clearly wise choice. He should view it as just another way that she serves him; by actually having a clear mind and making that choice when he couldn't see it straight.

I may be out of my league here, but this particular case really interests me.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Homburg View Post
*blink* Why the vehemence? Did he drag her out into the street by hair and frog march her to the store? Did he set her on fire? Or did he just get sullen and pissy for a while? I'm not saying that he was the Dalai Lama, but, she-yow, mention silent treatment and people suddenly get their hair on fire.
Must appologise if I came of strong, I just have so little respect for the "Silent" treatment. It's a quick escape, when he can't find a way to communicate about it, or put words to things and then deal with them in other forms of disipline. If he needs time to sort himself out, then at least let her know this. It just makes me aggitated that he cannot face her with what happened, and actually talk about it. (Possibly talk about his own bad move if he as intothewoods suggested; is thinking things over).


Quote:
Originally Posted by Homburg View Post
We see it differently. At the end of the day, and per her descriptions, the guy is guilty of being sullen and uncommunicative. He may have wanted his needs served before those of the children, but I can want a rainbow in my backyard and it won't convince the rain to put one there.

I'm not saying his behaviour was sterling, but what is wrong with wanting something? Again, no violence or coercion was used.
Yup, guilty of that. You say no violence used, but I have to count what he is doing to be a form of mental and emotional abuse, even if in a light way.
I don't want to burn the fellah or anything like that, I just want him to get a grip and at least let Eastern Sun in on what he's going through.

Last edited by Kathykitten : 11-21-2008 at 02:28 PM.
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-21-2008, 02:23 PM   #129
eastern sun
hungry little creature
 
eastern sun's Avatar
 
eastern sun is offline
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: New York
Posts: 2,639
Quote:
Originally Posted by JMohegan View Post
His response to your "defiance" seems an odd way of demonstrating that support. But if it works for you both, no problem.
That has never failed to intrigue me. The fact that it works for us.

On the other hand, as this discussion clearly reveals, not necessarily "no problem."
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-21-2008, 02:24 PM   #130
Kathykitten
Really Experienced
 
Kathykitten is offline
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Norway! The country of Vikings and Barbarians
Posts: 125
Quote:
Originally Posted by eastern sun View Post
The only formal agreement we have made is that we will not leave. No matter what. Apart from that there are no rules. Just the consequences of our action.

Neither of us is spared from the other's bad behavior. I have learned, as his "slave," not to harbor any expectations of change. Change occurs, but it is not because I demand it.

On the other hand, also because I am his "slave," when he asks for something, I try to do what he asks of me. He has learned that I may not succeed.

We're both happy in this arrangement, happier than we were before.

There was a time when I wanted a set of written rules. The instruction manual that would help me get it right. It's much harder without it, but my understanding of cause and effect, of my own values and desires, of his values and desires, of the laws of nature (including human nature), are much deeper for having to learn it by trial and error.

Because there are no safety nets though, it is vitally important that I trust him. And I do. I have lived with this man for twenty three years. He still continues to surprise me. But I trust him deeply.

I would not willingly give up so much to someone I did not know well and trust implicitly.

Does any of that make sense?
It does

Thank you for sharing so openly, really do appreciate it. I hope I do not come off as to agressive or aggitated about this case, it only troubles me when children become a piece of the puzzle, and is in any way, shape or form endangered by our moves as human beings.
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-21-2008, 02:41 PM   #131
eastern sun
hungry little creature
 
eastern sun's Avatar
 
eastern sun is offline
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: New York
Posts: 2,639
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kathykitten View Post
Yup, guilty of that. You say no violence used, But I count what he is doing to be a form of mental and emotional abuse, even if a very light one. So I don't want to burn the fellah or anything like that, I just want him to get a grip and at least let Eastern Sun in on what he's going through.
I so appreciate your support, Kathykitten. You have a passionate nature, and I am grateful that you're in my corner.

But I certainly knew what he was going through. I knew why he was angry. I knew his anger would pass. I knew what would make him happy once his anger was gone.

The "silent treatment" is only a weapon if you react defensively to it. If you take it as a means of communicating unhappiness, or a sense of isolation, it changes.

I didn't say anything until the next morning. And then reinforced his perception that the other family had imposed on us (and they had). And then moved the conversation, with a gentleness that encouraged him to let down the wall, into areas that interested him, like politics and the stock market. And within a few minutes, the storm had passed, and the sun was shining again.

Why get hung up on "how could you treat me that way" discussions? He didn't hurt me. In fact, his evening was spent in a much blacker place than mine. (I spent the evening working with the girls on their puppet show. How fun is that!)

Please don't feel that I am being abused, even lightly. My life is filled with joy. And a few of these more challenging moments . . .

Thank you, again for your passion and support. (and your kind words too)

Last edited by eastern sun : 11-21-2008 at 02:44 PM.
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-21-2008, 03:46 PM   #132
Kathykitten
Really Experienced
 
Kathykitten is offline
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Norway! The country of Vikings and Barbarians
Posts: 125
Quote:
Originally Posted by eastern sun View Post
I so appreciate your support, Kathykitten. You have a passionate nature, and I am grateful that you're in my corner.

But I certainly knew what he was going through. I knew why he was angry. I knew his anger would pass. I knew what would make him happy once his anger was gone.

The "silent treatment" is only a weapon if you react defensively to it. If you take it as a means of communicating unhappiness, or a sense of isolation, it changes.

I didn't say anything until the next morning. And then reinforced his perception that the other family had imposed on us (and they had). And then moved the conversation, with a gentleness that encouraged him to let down the wall, into areas that interested him, like politics and the stock market. And within a few minutes, the storm had passed, and the sun was shining again.

Why get hung up on "how could you treat me that way" discussions? He didn't hurt me. In fact, his evening was spent in a much blacker place than mine. (I spent the evening working with the girls on their puppet show. How fun is that!)

Please don't feel that I am being abused, even lightly. My life is filled with joy. And a few of these more challenging moments . . .

Thank you, again for your passion and support. (and your kind words too)

Really glad to hear this, all I wanted to know

Can't help but get caught up when I get that suspicion of possible abuse, it just triggers my guns. Really glad you guys have a system that works for you, and that you are happy!

Thanks for the kind words <3
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-21-2008, 03:51 PM   #133
BiBunny
Spider...Bunny?
 
BiBunny's Avatar
 
BiBunny is offline
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Alabama
Posts: 9,723
See, here is my problem with the whole "slavery" thing to start with, even though I identify with "slave" (or "pet"), depending on which way the wind blows.

I know everyone's allowed to have their unreasonable moments. God knows, I've had plenty of them myself. My Master has his times where he's grumpy and unreasonable as well. But, to me, Mastery is not about the ability to pitch what basically amounts to a temper tantrum whenever one doesn't get one's way.

Let it be known that I'm not picking on Eastern Sun and her husband here. There are several stories that have been shared that, had they happened to me, I'd have slapped Master across the face and yelled, "What the HELL is wrong with you?" Perhaps my relationship is different, or perhaps when it comes down to it, I'm not a "slave" at all.

I would do anything for this man. Anything in the world. But I feel that way because I know how he reacts to things. If I try to please him, and I fuck up, no matter how big the fuck-up, he tells me it's ok. If it's important to him, he'll tell me to try again or offer to help me. I believe I'm a strong person in a lot ways, but I guess I'm still paying for my raising in others. I can be fragile inside. To have my attempts thrown back up in my face when I've been trying my best is the fastest way to get me to leave. I put up with it for 18 years from my mother; I'll not have it in any relationship I'm in now. This is why I don't understand the concept of punishment. He asks, and I try to do it. If I succeed, it's on to the next thing. If I fail, I try again. There's no need for anything more with us. It's common knowledge that many here think that if you don't get punished occasionally, then you're not being pushed hard enough. So be it. People are entitled to their opinions.

And this is my opinion...Mastery, at its core, is about control. To me, that includes control over oneself. I've met "dominant" people who are volatile and given to hissy fits when their orders aren't perfectly carried out to the letter every time. Every one of these kind, I can manipulate with absolutely no effort whatsoever. Someone who leads with selfishness and a childish "I'm going to get MY way!" attitude all the time can easily be reduced to a whining, ineffectual mess. Such is life for me. I tend to have a strong personality.

The reason Master can control me with such ease is that he is smarter than me, and he always maintains the upper hand. I can't manipulate the man because he keeps such incredible control over himself. Which isn't to say he isn't a passionate man, but I've had him so mad at me he was ready to kill me, and all he did was tell me he was going to need some time to himself to cool down. Ok, fair enough. I just don't think that not knowing what someone's response is going to be to a given situation is Mastery. I think it's more along the lines of unpredictability and possibly mental illness. I could not trust someone whose reactions I could not predict. (Also a by-product of living with a nutjob of a mother.) A Master is a man in control of himself and others, not an unpredictable, selfish child who flies off the handle and throws tantrums when everything doesn't work out to his exact specifications and takes advantage of his slave.

I haven't meant to ramble so. I am certain I've offended, but I wanted to offer a different view of what slavery means to me. Like I said, the "realness" of my slavery can probably easily be debated, but I try to call things as I see them.
__________________
"HOT CROSS BUNNY!" ~DGE



As a dreamer of dreams and a traveling Bun,
I have chalked up many a mile
Read dozens of books
About heroes and crooks
And I learned much from both of their styles


Grammar is very important to the Nazi party.

Last edited by BiBunny : 11-21-2008 at 03:55 PM.
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-21-2008, 04:26 PM   #134
Netzach
>semiotics?
 
Netzach's Avatar
 
Netzach is offline
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 21,189
Quote:
Originally Posted by eastern sun View Post
To everyone who feels that he is irresponsible or worse. . .

let me remind you that you are judging him on the basis of a story I wrote. I have intentionally painted a picture that captured the experience from my own perspective, one that reinforced my identity as "slave." If he were to write the story, it would undoubtably turn out differently.

To get a fuller picture, I would refer you to Homburg's posts. He has characterized who my husband actually is most accurately.

I don't doubt that fatherhood has cramped my husband's style. I know that there are a number of simple pleasures that he misses. But he would never put our children in danger. He believes that I am a better judge of our children's needs, and he rarely questions my judgement, even though it frequently goes against his wishes. And because he supports me when I'm right (and challenges me when I'm wrong - I really do need to give them a healthier diet) I trust him enough to call him my master.

Please do not use this story about our lives to judge us harshly. If you read carefully, we made no mistakes. Our children are safe.

I think the nature of the discussion is fascinating though. I do learn from your comments. And welcome everyone's perspective.
As a latch key NYC kid who frequently hung out with other kids after school and was left alone with them, even with an INSANELY protective family, can I pipe up and say non abusive?

Yeah, I know the other kid's parents would have a hissy. That would be MY family. And they would be wrong. Sane families around me saved my life, because having some examples of non-crazy is important.

You went around the corner for a few minutes. They were in a locked apartment and presumably aren't going to go wandering off somewhere.
__________________
In the spirit of equal time, sites like Huffington Post should have sections for male anatomy hanging out instead of just the idiotic celebrity “side boob” and “nip slip” camera ops. I have no idea what that would be like to have a camera in my face at every turn, looking for “the” shot. I know what some of you are saying. “Then why do they wear clothes like that unless they want those photos taken?” I don’t know what to tell ya. Perhaps just don’t take the fuckin picture? Evolve? I don’t know. - Henry Rollins
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-21-2008, 04:29 PM   #135
Netzach
>semiotics?
 
Netzach's Avatar
 
Netzach is offline
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 21,189
Quote:
Originally Posted by eastern sun View Post
I think you're absolutely right, Netzach. Context is everything.

In my life, in my relationship, identifying as a "slave" in the context of a marriage significantly reduces the feelings of resentment and even brings some mind-bending pleasure to situations that can tax the patience of most people, but are common to any long-term relationship.

And I also agree that having to put up with a partner's bad moods is hardly "a slavery thing." Instead, the context of an M/s relationship changes the way I perceive what I'm doing. And turns something I might reject in another context, to something I must accept in this context. Then, it's up to me what to do with it.

I am curious, since you are in both a marriage and an M/s relationship, how they play out in your life. I can understand how they meet different needs. Can you see how it might be possible to blend them? Would you want to?
They play out differently because different needs are met. The need I have for some really edge behaviors and edge conceptual container isn't matched in M and does not need to be.

I can see how other people *like* blending them, I can see the temptation to blend them, but I cannot find it possible in my own life. I would not want to.
__________________
In the spirit of equal time, sites like Huffington Post should have sections for male anatomy hanging out instead of just the idiotic celebrity “side boob” and “nip slip” camera ops. I have no idea what that would be like to have a camera in my face at every turn, looking for “the” shot. I know what some of you are saying. “Then why do they wear clothes like that unless they want those photos taken?” I don’t know what to tell ya. Perhaps just don’t take the fuckin picture? Evolve? I don’t know. - Henry Rollins
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-21-2008, 04:32 PM   #136
Netzach
>semiotics?
 
Netzach's Avatar
 
Netzach is offline
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 21,189
I'm not a bedrocklike bastion of calm. If someone needs that I'm not the right person. I tend to want slavery from accomplished men who really need some *UN*buttoning, whose lives need some intensity. I'm a chaos Goddess, what can I say.
__________________
In the spirit of equal time, sites like Huffington Post should have sections for male anatomy hanging out instead of just the idiotic celebrity “side boob” and “nip slip” camera ops. I have no idea what that would be like to have a camera in my face at every turn, looking for “the” shot. I know what some of you are saying. “Then why do they wear clothes like that unless they want those photos taken?” I don’t know what to tell ya. Perhaps just don’t take the fuckin picture? Evolve? I don’t know. - Henry Rollins
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-21-2008, 05:15 PM   #137
eastern sun
hungry little creature
 
eastern sun's Avatar
 
eastern sun is offline
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: New York
Posts: 2,639
Quote:
Originally Posted by BiBunny View Post
The reason Master can control me with such ease is that he is smarter than me, and he always maintains the upper hand. I can't manipulate the man because he keeps such incredible control over himself. Which isn't to say he isn't a passionate man, but I've had him so mad at me he was ready to kill me, and all he did was tell me he was going to need some time to himself to cool down. Ok, fair enough. I just don't think that not knowing what someone's response is going to be to a given situation is Mastery. I think it's more along the lines of unpredictability and possibly mental illness. I could not trust someone whose reactions I could not predict. (Also a by-product of living with a nutjob of a mother.) A Master is a man in control of himself and others, not an unpredictable, selfish child who flies off the handle and throws tantrums when everything doesn't work out to his exact specifications and takes advantage of his slave.
I understand exactly what you mean by this, BiBunny. I could say the same things about him. And I think it's an important part of the dynamic.

The slaves that I've known are often very bright, strong-willed women, defying the idea that only "doormats" would choose this sexual identity. I'd like to suggest that there's something incredibly passionate in the wrestling of two strong forces - and this is one shape it can take.

Maybe I thought at one time that it was kind of like the lock and the key. You'd find the perfect fit for your particular kink.

I don't know.

More often, for me, it was like the mating of two animals, where the dominance of one serves to heighten the sexual arousal and make the union possible.

I don't know.

I do think that the M/s dynamics can be a lot of fun in a relationship between a disciplined man and an undisciplined woman, if they share similar goals and values. There's a lot of stuff to work with.

By the way, I once hit him when we were very young. I was angry and I didn't know what to else to do. He looked at me, curled his fingers and gave me one solid push with the heel of his hand right in the center of my forehead. Totally in control. Undeniable force. No pain whatsoever. Just the communication that if he wanted to hurt me, he could. That I could count on him not to hurt me, but he could. I got the message. And we got married.

If I have painted the portrait of an unpredictable, selfish child in my stories, I owe an apology to my husband. It is not an accurate portrayal of him.

However, it is interesting, because often my position as a "slave" is reinforced when I have to accept his less than perfect moments. Or the moments when I'm going to absurd measures to please him. Or when my actions don't quite fit the social context I find myself in.

Also, he usually surprises me in good ways. (The bad stuff is totally predictable.)

You make me think along different lines, BiBunny. I haven't written much about the moments when I feel his power. Maybe I should.

But then I'd be accused of writing pornography.
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-21-2008, 05:17 PM   #138
eastern sun
hungry little creature
 
eastern sun's Avatar
 
eastern sun is offline
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: New York
Posts: 2,639
Quote:
Originally Posted by Netzach View Post
I'm a chaos Goddess, what can I say.
Cool.

(I am Hathor's daughter.)
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-21-2008, 05:18 PM   #139
BiBunny
Spider...Bunny?
 
BiBunny's Avatar
 
BiBunny is offline
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Alabama
Posts: 9,723
Quote:
Originally Posted by eastern sun View Post
I understand exactly what you mean by this, BiBunny. I could say the same things about him. And I think it's an important part of the dynamic.

The slaves that I've known are often very bright, strong-willed women, defying the idea that only "doormats" would choose this sexual identity. I'd like to suggest that there's something incredibly passionate in the wrestling of two strong forces - and this is one shape it can take.

Maybe I thought at one time that it was kind of like the lock and the key. You'd find the perfect fit for your particular kink.

I don't know.

More often, for me, it was like the mating of two animals, where the dominance of one serves to heighten the sexual arousal and make the union possible.

I don't know.

I do think that the M/s dynamics can be a lot of fun in a relationship between a disciplined man and an undisciplined woman, if they share similar goals and values. There's a lot of stuff to work with.

By the way, I once hit him when we were very young. I was angry and I didn't know what to else to do. He looked at me, curled his fingers and gave me one solid push with the heel of his hand right in the center of my forehead. Totally in control. Undeniable force. No pain whatsoever. Just the communication that if he wanted to hurt me, he could. That I could count on him not to hurt me, but he could. I got the message. And we got married.

If I have painted the portrait of an unpredictable, selfish child in my stories, I owe an apology to my husband. It is not an accurate portrayal of him.

However, it is interesting, because often my position as a "slave" is reinforced when I have to accept his less than perfect moments. Or the moments when I'm going to absurd measures to please him. Or when my actions don't quite fit the social context I find myself in.

Also, he usually surprises me in good ways. (The bad stuff is totally predictable.)

You make me think along different lines, BiBunny. I haven't written much about the moments when I feel his power. Maybe I should.

But then I'd be accused of writing pornography.
Pervert.

I know we're just seeing the things you choose to share, and I'm glad you know that I'm not trying to paint your husband in a negative light. Like I said, I wasn't just picking on you. There's more than one story here that made me twitch.

If it works for ya, it works for ya. I'm happy that you're happy.
__________________
"HOT CROSS BUNNY!" ~DGE



As a dreamer of dreams and a traveling Bun,
I have chalked up many a mile
Read dozens of books
About heroes and crooks
And I learned much from both of their styles


Grammar is very important to the Nazi party.
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-22-2008, 04:57 AM   #140
VelvetDarkness
Polysyllable Whore x
 
VelvetDarkness's Avatar
 
VelvetDarkness is offline
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Perfidious Albion (UK)
Posts: 6,521
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kathykitten View Post
Must appologise if I came of strong, I just have so little respect for the "Silent" treatment. It's a quick escape, when he can't find a way to communicate about it, or put words to things and then deal with them in other forms of disipline. If he needs time to sort himself out, then at least let her know this. It just makes me aggitated that he cannot face her with what happened, and actually talk about it. (Possibly talk about his own bad move if he as intothewoods suggested; is thinking things over).
I used to get very upset when Master went silent on me because I am the sort of person who needs an open channel of candid communication in order to feel secure. When he closes his thoughts to me, I know longer know how he feels about whatever caused him to go quiet and so I don't know how to behave in order not to make things worse. I get panicky and paranoid and start over compensating and seeking to atone, when he hasn't even told me exactly why he has reacted so strongly to something.

I don't really do this any more.

Master finds it difficult to be 21st century male who's in touch with his feelings etc. He's basically a caveman with an XBox360 and I can't complain because it's one of the things I love about him. He's not emotionally stunted, he just doesn't see the same need as I do for endless discussion about things. He quite often just goes out to the pub or for a walk around the town when he's upset with me. It's effective as silent treatment but also allows us both to clear our heads and talk calmly once he returns. When I used to question him about the silent treatment and told him how much it affects me he simply said. 'At that time, when I'm mightily pissed off, you don't want to know what I'm thinking and I won't tell you because I'm usually wrong.' He sees it as protecting me from his temper. There may be a 'punishment' later on once he has assessed a situation calmly and decided that I did fuck up but he won't touch me in anger. Most often, he's actually quietly questioning his own dominance and how such a situation arose and/or could have been prevented rather than steaming about, glaring at me and wishing all manner of torture on my ass.

Our situation is different. He is 25 and I'm 29. We've been M/s for a year and are still very much learning each other and figuring things out. Most 25 year olds I know are hotheads but Master is really doing a very good job of curbing his club swinging immature manliness. I know it'll never really go away. I know without question that if we make it as far as easternsun we'll have moments just like she described when he gets pissed off and fails to be calm and reasonable.

Cos after all.... he's still just a man.
__________________
Owned by and engaged to MajorMalfunction
Registered Slave no. 519-742-115

Lit fucktoy to Ms Indigo

Alais's Settlement Chapter 2 Chapter 3

"Humans need fantasy to be human; to be the place where the falling angel meets the rising ape." ~ Terry Pratchett

"We are animals. With language. What a responsibility." ~ easternsun
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-22-2008, 06:39 AM   #141
Kathykitten
Really Experienced
 
Kathykitten is offline
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Norway! The country of Vikings and Barbarians
Posts: 125
Quote:
Originally Posted by VelvetDarkness View Post
I used to get very upset when Master went silent on me because I am the sort of person who needs an open channel of candid communication in order to feel secure. When he closes his thoughts to me, I know longer know how he feels about whatever caused him to go quiet and so I don't know how to behave in order not to make things worse. I get panicky and paranoid and start over compensating and seeking to atone, when he hasn't even told me exactly why he has reacted so strongly to something.

I don't really do this any more.

Master finds it difficult to be 21st century male who's in touch with his feelings etc. He's basically a caveman with an XBox360 and I can't complain because it's one of the things I love about him. He's not emotionally stunted, he just doesn't see the same need as I do for endless discussion about things. He quite often just goes out to the pub or for a walk around the town when he's upset with me. It's effective as silent treatment but also allows us both to clear our heads and talk calmly once he returns. When I used to question him about the silent treatment and told him how much it affects me he simply said. 'At that time, when I'm mightily pissed off, you don't want to know what I'm thinking and I won't tell you because I'm usually wrong.' He sees it as protecting me from his temper. There may be a 'punishment' later on once he has assessed a situation calmly and decided that I did fuck up but he won't touch me in anger. Most often, he's actually quietly questioning his own dominance and how such a situation arose and/or could have been prevented rather than steaming about, glaring at me and wishing all manner of torture on my ass.

Our situation is different. He is 25 and I'm 29. We've been M/s for a year and are still very much learning each other and figuring things out. Most 25 year olds I know are hotheads but Master is really doing a very good job of curbing his club swinging immature manliness. I know it'll never really go away. I know without question that if we make it as far as easternsun we'll have moments just like she described when he gets pissed off and fails to be calm and reasonable.

Cos after all.... he's still just a man.
See I don't really see that as "silent treatment", but more a really wise move. In addition you know why he's going silent or going for a walk, and that you will probably talk it over later when things have calmed down. It's not a treatment he purposefully choose to dicipline or teach you something, but rather something he needs tojust clear things and not make a bad move. Which I highly respect!

What I view as the silent treatment is when a Dom / Master deliberately sets out to ignore and push away the partner, in order to teach them.

Last edited by Kathykitten : 11-22-2008 at 12:00 PM.
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-22-2008, 07:26 AM   #142
VelvetDarkness
Polysyllable Whore x
 
VelvetDarkness's Avatar
 
VelvetDarkness is offline
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Perfidious Albion (UK)
Posts: 6,521
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kathykitten View Post
See I don't really see that as "silent treatment", but more a really wise move. In addition you why he's going silent or going for a walk, and that you will probably talk it over later when things have calmed down. It's not a treatment he purposefully choose to dicipline or teach you something, but rather something he needs tojust clear things and not make a bad move. Which I highly respect!

What I view as the silent treatment is when a Dom / Master deliberately sets out to ignore and push away the partner, in order to teach them.
He has done that and I do find it difficult but I deal. Master is generally crueller and more inventive with his chastisements though. I know that silence and him ignoring me will pass so I generally get on with things and try not to worry about it too much. That, as far as L is concerned, does not constitute a sufficiently unpleasant punishment that acts as a deterrent against future bad behaviour.

Strokes for folks I guess.
__________________
Owned by and engaged to MajorMalfunction
Registered Slave no. 519-742-115

Lit fucktoy to Ms Indigo

Alais's Settlement Chapter 2 Chapter 3

"Humans need fantasy to be human; to be the place where the falling angel meets the rising ape." ~ Terry Pratchett

"We are animals. With language. What a responsibility." ~ easternsun
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-22-2008, 10:21 AM   #143
SinfulSailor
Really Experienced
 
SinfulSailor is offline
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by eastern sun View Post
Castagnus, you have been so kind in your comments. But I don't want to pretend that our relationship has been anything like "idyllic" on a continuous basis.

We have gone days, months, even periods of a year or more, during which we really didn't like each other that much. We have been mean, dismissive, insensitive, preoccupied and self-centered. (I have even thrown the word "divorce" at him because I couldn't find a better way to say "fuck you" loud enough. Needless to say, it only dug the rift deeper.)

One night about eight and a half years ago, a couple of months after my second child was born, I was so unhappy I loaded her in the car after he fell asleep and drove off into the night. I literally couldn't stay in the house. I just drove, without any real destination, until my adrenalin stopped pumping, and my heartbeat slowed down, and my mind calmed.

I probably could have returned to my mother's home, but my son, the man I'd tied myself to, and my life, was back in that house.

And apart from the way we were treating each other, we didn't have that bad a life.

I hadn't driven a mile before I knew I'd return. And face the challenges of being unhappy. By that time, I'd already figured out that it wasn't his responsibility to make me happy. And I had some tools to work with myself.

I knew, in that moment, that I had to face the seeds of deep-rooted, violent anger and seething resentments that had been planted in me when I was too young to know better, but which I had willingly watered and pruned and kept alive for too many years.

So I drove home. Kissed my little son. Put the baby to sleep, and climbed into bed. I don't even know if he knew that I had just "left."

And I think it took me five years or so to work through the resentment habit I'd developed. Petty resentments still arise, but my anger has lost its intensity, and I no longer fuel it with "stories" and "evidence" and "reasons" to justify it. Now, I let the initial wave of adrenalin pass, and wait until I can more clearly see the facts of the situation before deciding how to react.

I like the fact that the decision we made twenty years ago - that there was no other life for us, but one together - has been the only thing keeping us together at times. For it has forced me to learn how to care for myself, and to care for him, in the face of a wide assortment of human failings.

I write about idyllic moments because I want to capture them, remember them, in the difficult times. But, ultimately, the quality of my life is up to me.
Choice.

Exactly.

We can choose to resent. Or we can choose to embrace.

In a d/s relationship there is a defined leader and a defined follower. There is master and slave, dominant and submissive, owner and possession, captain and crew (so to speak). In another post, eastern sun pointed out how often and to what great degrees her husband has chosen to put his own needs and desires behind and below the needs and desires of those people in his care. So, it is not only the slave who must choose to embrace sacrifice. That said, it is the slave's choice to either resent or embrace her owner's choices for her.

Having chosen slavery, now she must choose happiness. Or be unhappy. She must reject resentment. And embrace her service. Or be unhappy.

The thing I find of inestimable value in this thread is a series of examples of choosing service instead of rebellion, the choice of happiness over resentment, and the personal happiness and fulfillment that resulted from those positive choices.

I rarely recommend my girl read something about d/s online. For the most part I find as much misconception and unproductive theorizing mixed in with whatever I might find to be of value that it just seems to cancel out. And then, when I add in the potential for creating confusion in her mind or between us.... it is decidedly not worth it.

This thread is the exception.
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-23-2008, 06:04 PM   #144
Homburg
Daring greatly
 
Homburg's Avatar
 
Homburg is offline
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: SE VA
Posts: 13,578
Lot's of stuff here.

Quote:
Originally Posted by eastern sun View Post
He's grateful for your shared perspective.
Glad to hear it. Cheers.

Quote:
Thank you for bringing this up. It's an important aspect of our relationship. He is pleased when I take charge of a situation that doesn't interest him, or for which he doesn't have time. And he gives me tremendous freedom to do in those situations as I see fit. For instance, we just did a basement renovation that he left almost completely up to me. I was, in fact, serving him, by working with the contractors without troubling him.

That's why I keep saying that there are no set rules of behavior. What serves one M might piss another M off. The deeper reality is the nature of the relationship between M and s. And the pleasure we derive from it.
Quite so. I know people whose relationship structures, while M/s, would very much not work for me. Not my thing. And there are slaves whose learned behaviour would just grate on me endlessly. Others, though? Not so much.

There is a local F/m M/s couple that I really dig. They're both older than I am, probably in the 50's or early 60's. They're both roughly of my parent's generation. Different worlds, F/m, different generation, etc, yet there are so very many similarities between their dynamic and ours that we have no trouble communicating whatsoever. It interests me that the dynamic can cross the generation gap like that and so similar. Part of the reason, I think, is our mutual preference for slaves that are on the more, well, feisty side.

More on that later.

--

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kathykitten View Post
Is that to say that in all truth, he truly is more worth and more important than Eastern Sun? Not trying to strike any debate here, just out of curiosity. I fully respect that the masters needs and wants come first, that is a given in the M/S. but underneath all of this, surely they are both in it because they want, need, and love eachother pasisonately. And respect eachother at an equal basis, along with all their individual desires.
Worth more? As a person? No. In the whole picture, the macro view, they are both people, and possess equal worth, in theory, to those around them, and to each other. Can't be a Master without a slave, after all. And, looking at worth, the relationship is going to be an equal one, in theory, with some slanting based on personal traits and what they bring to the relationship (for example, an unemployed alcoholic has less worth than his wife that works two jobs to keep food on the table)

Where worth becomes unequal is in the area of wants. Her wants are taken into account, and accorded or put off or ignored as is his wont. His wants are not treated that way. Her duty is to respond to those wants properly.

So he is not more important, but his wants are. Needs are another area that is essentially equal, if only because both parties' needs must be met, else the relationship will not survive. Where it becomes interesting is the need to realise that many things that most people consider "needs" are simply very strong "wants". The Master tends to get to know the slave very well, and figures out where the needs are, and where the wants are. The slaves needs get fulfilled on the macro scale, but it is not uncommon for the wants to be fulfilled only when it suits the Owner's purposes.

A very simplistic example of this would be orgasm control. The slave's body may want to orgasm as soon as stimulation reaches a sufficient point to trigger the orgasm, but the Master holds off on granting permission for that orgasm until later for various reasons. An immediate orgasm is a want. Whatever the goal of orgasm control for that dynamic might be is the need being fulfilled.

Quote:
Yup, guilty of that. You say no violence used, but I have to count what he is doing to be a form of mental and emotional abuse, even if in a light way.
I don't want to burn the fellah or anything like that, I just want him to get a grip and at least let Eastern Sun in on what he's going through.
Eh. People are quick to holler abuse (especially when the hot-button of "silent treatment" pops up). It may be functional behaviour in that relationship. There are plenty of people that would call what I do abuse, yet my gals are happy, content, healthy, and leading productive, fulfilling lives. What may be abuse to you, may well be functional damage control to someone else.

--

Quote:
Originally Posted by eastern sun View Post
The "silent treatment" is only a weapon if you react defensively to it. If you take it as a means of communicating unhappiness, or a sense of isolation, it changes.
HUGE TRUTH HERE.

Read that statement again. In this situation, in this dynamic, she recognises that silence is not abuse, but, in its' own way, communication of an emotional state.

Quote:
Why get hung up on "how could you treat me that way" discussions? He didn't hurt me. In fact, his evening was spent in a much blacker place than mine. (I spent the evening working with the girls on their puppet show. How fun is that!)
This is my experience as well. While I very, very rarely go silent, it happens. Usually for a very good reason (more on that later), and I am pretty much always miserable while it is happening. As ES says, it is a very dark place.

--

Quote:
Originally Posted by BiBunny View Post
Let it be known that I'm not picking on Eastern Sun and her husband here. There are several stories that have been shared that, had they happened to me, I'd have slapped Master across the face and yelled, "What the HELL is wrong with you?" Perhaps my relationship is different, or perhaps when it comes down to it, I'm not a "slave" at all.
*snort*

One of my favourite slaves is as loyal, submissive, and devoted to his mistress as anyone I have ever seen. Yet he will drag her recalcitrant butt to the kitchen and physically force her to eat if he knows that she's let her blood sugar dwindle.

Sometimes a solid "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING?!?" is the finest service imaginable. Especially as the consequence of such a move might just be painful for the person asking the question. Service, sacrifice, and looking out for your Owner's interest even at the possible cost of your own safety and comfort are precisely the marks of a good slave.

--

Quote:
Originally Posted by eastern sun View Post
The slaves that I've known are often very bright, strong-willed women, defying the idea that only "doormats" would choose this sexual identity. I'd like to suggest that there's something incredibly passionate in the wrestling of two strong forces - and this is one shape it can take.
You know, and this may well insult some folks, but whatever, the majority of slaves that I've met that were dead serious, not roleplaying some slave fantasy but living the life, were capable, intelligent, strong-willed people. I can think of some that might be called a doormat if the person saw how the slave treated their Owner, but very few that I've met are doormats towards everyone.

Quote:
By the way, I once hit him when we were very young. I was angry and I didn't know what to else to do. He looked at me, curled his fingers and gave me one solid push with the heel of his hand right in the center of my forehead. Totally in control. Undeniable force. No pain whatsoever. Just the communication that if he wanted to hurt me, he could. That I could count on him not to hurt me, but he could. I got the message. And we got married.
Perfect response. Damn.

Good show.

--

Quote:
Originally Posted by VelvetDarkness View Post
When I used to question him about the silent treatment and told him how much it affects me he simply said. 'At that time, when I'm mightily pissed off, you don't want to know what I'm thinking and I won't tell you because I'm usually wrong.' He sees it as protecting me from his temper. There may be a 'punishment' later on once he has assessed a situation calmly and decided that I did fuck up but he won't touch me in anger.
It's so weird to keep seeing my own reactions in the writings of others talking about their Owners. I've said almost the exact line bolded above. And I am also one that refuses to touch in anger. I'm a big cat. I've laid hands on people and caused injuries. There is no way in hell that I'm going to trust my fine motor control when I'm boiling mad.

Quote:
Most often, he's actually quietly questioning his own dominance and how such a situation arose and/or could have been prevented rather than steaming about, glaring at me and wishing all manner of torture on my ass.
Yep. Same here. When I am forced to punish (and by "forced" I mean that one of the few standing rules that have actual punishment as a consequence have been broken), I despise it. I spend the time before the punishment raking myself over the coals, trying to figure out where I went wrong, where I failed to communicate the virtuous path. Far too often, _I_ am the one to blame, because I did not set expaectations, rewards, and consequences up properly to prevent what happened. The punishment occurs because those are the consequences, and to help to prevent the same behaviour from recurring. And I hate it.

Part and parcel to TPE is realising that _I_ am wholly responsible for my chattel, and her mistakes in judgement are my mistakes in preparation.
__________________
"more than an awesome talking Cock."
-myinnerslut, from the Ropework Photos thread...


I am not usually one for titles. In my world, titles are reserved for relationships.
Millificent (aka "viv") and myinnerslut both call me "Master".
You can call me "Homburg". Still accepting Rope Bunny applications, of course.

Disclaimer: Live your life how you want to live. Be secure enough in what you do that _my_ words won't affect you. Because my opinion has no material meaning in your life beyond what you let it have.

Last edited by Homburg : 11-23-2008 at 09:44 PM. Reason: Fixed a wayward PHPbbcode
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-24-2008, 01:48 AM   #145
Kathykitten
Really Experienced
 
Kathykitten is offline
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Norway! The country of Vikings and Barbarians
Posts: 125
Quote:
Originally Posted by Homburg View Post
Worth more? As a person? No. In the whole picture, the macro view, they are both people, and possess equal worth, in theory, to those around them, and to each other. Can't be a Master without a slave, after all. And, looking at worth, the relationship is going to be an equal one, in theory, with some slanting based on personal traits and what they bring to the relationship (for example, an unemployed alcoholic has less worth than his wife that works two jobs to keep food on the table)

Where worth becomes unequal is in the area of wants. Her wants are taken into account, and accorded or put off or ignored as is his wont. His wants are not treated that way. Her duty is to respond to those wants properly.

So he is not more important, but his wants are. Needs are another area that is essentially equal, if only because both parties' needs must be met, else the relationship will not survive. Where it becomes interesting is the need to realise that many things that most people consider "needs" are simply very strong "wants". The Master tends to get to know the slave very well, and figures out where the needs are, and where the wants are. The slaves needs get fulfilled on the macro scale, but it is not uncommon for the wants to be fulfilled only when it suits the Owner's purposes.

A very simplistic example of this would be orgasm control. The slave's body may want to orgasm as soon as stimulation reaches a sufficient point to trigger the orgasm, but the Master holds off on granting permission for that orgasm until later for various reasons. An immediate orgasm is a want. Whatever the goal of orgasm control for that dynamic might be is the need being fulfilled.

Very well explained! This is mostly how I feel it works as well, but sometimes situations arise that makes you question things. Though through Eastern Suns generous responces and explenations I can see things clearer now =)



Quote:
Originally Posted by Homburg View Post
Eh. People are quick to holler abuse (especially when the hot-button of "silent treatment" pops up). It may be functional behaviour in that relationship. There are plenty of people that would call what I do abuse, yet my gals are happy, content, healthy, and leading productive, fulfilling lives. What may be abuse to you, may well be functional damage control to someone else.
I think perhaps as well what we define as silent treatment are on different levels. Like I spoke briefly with Velvet, I don't see the silent ways a master pulls back as any form of abuse, but rather a wise decision to let thigns calm down and to ponder over what went wrong and how to sort things out. (and as said so brilliantly: To spare the slave from the temper (and no doubt emotional abuse therein) )

When I think of silent treatment as a form of abuse is when it is used regularly, intentionally, and in full knowledge to distanse the slave, and in general bring her emotional and mental torment. Using it as a tool to shape the slave by breaking her down from the inside to build her as something else. (as opposed to inspiering her to becomming what the master seeks).
I am just convinced that the intended use of silent treatment as a tool of teaching can give a lot of long term scars.

I must really again appologise if it came off offensive in the start, it is as you say; Triggers my buttons.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Homburg View Post
Sometimes a solid "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING?!?" is the finest service imaginable. Especially as the consequence of such a move might just be painful for the person asking the question. Service, sacrifice, and looking out for your Owner's interest even at the possible cost of your own safety and comfort are precisely the marks of a good slave.
Exactly! And it's for this very reason that reacted to what happened, thinking he should have shown her grattitude for her clear head in the situation. I know I'd always want my own to, in a respectful way, challenge and question my motives and choices, so as to help me grow and become the best that I can be. I'm sure though from what we've read that he is thankful for her choices as well, but that he just needed those moment to think it all over.
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-24-2008, 09:07 AM   #146
eastern sun
hungry little creature
 
eastern sun's Avatar
 
eastern sun is offline
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: New York
Posts: 2,639
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kathykitten View Post
I'm sure though from what we've read that he is thankful for her choices as well, but that he just needed those moment to think it all over.
Actually, he is wondering why hardly anyone recognized that he went to two restaurants, on crutches, with gout in his ankle, to pick up food for the family.
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-24-2008, 09:38 AM   #147
eastern sun
hungry little creature
 
eastern sun's Avatar
 
eastern sun is offline
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: New York
Posts: 2,639
the kind master

We often focus on the cruelties of the master, and pity the poor slave who has to endure it. In this self-inflicted "slavery," though, the situation is far more complex.

I get hormonal migraines. Have ever since I was nine. They can be quite incapacitating, and we have often discussed whether they are "an excuse to rest," "self-indulgent," "avoidable," etc., conversations that have made me feel both extremely angry and/or ashamed.

I have learned to minimize their effects through meditation and relaxation, and sometimes have months with no pain at all, though the underlying feelings of physical sensitivity and vulnerability never really go away.

Anyway, yesterday I wake with one. The pain isn't bad, but the nausea is.

To make a long story short, he volunteers to take our daughter to her horse-back riding lesson, our son to football practice (which entails standing outside in the cold for an hour and a half), and then takes our daughter to see "High School Musical 3" while our son finishes up a major language arts project. Allowing me to stay at home, and take things slowly.

I use the time to do laundry, give my son moral support, and build a bookcase for his office, so the day is hardly lost . . . but the simple kindness he shows by offering to do things that would otherwise fall on my plate softens our feelings towards each other. And I am very grateful.

We can feel our gentleness towards each other at night, when our bodies touch and simply cup each other without pressure.
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-24-2008, 09:43 AM   #148
Kathykitten
Really Experienced
 
Kathykitten is offline
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Norway! The country of Vikings and Barbarians
Posts: 125
Quote:
Originally Posted by eastern sun View Post
Actually, he is wondering why hardly anyone recognized that he went to two restaurants, on crutches, with gout in his ankle, to pick up food for the family.
hm, good point that, I guess it's true that the focus so easily fall on the slave. Appologise for that.
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-24-2008, 11:13 AM   #149
Homburg
Daring greatly
 
Homburg's Avatar
 
Homburg is offline
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: SE VA
Posts: 13,578
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kathykitten View Post
I think perhaps as well what we define as silent treatment are on different levels. Like I spoke briefly with Velvet, I don't see the silent ways a master pulls back as any form of abuse, but rather a wise decision to let thigns calm down and to ponder over what went wrong and how to sort things out. (and as said so brilliantly: To spare the slave from the temper (and no doubt emotional abuse therein) )

When I think of silent treatment as a form of abuse is when it is used regularly, intentionally, and in full knowledge to distanse the slave, and in general bring her emotional and mental torment. Using it as a tool to shape the slave by breaking her down from the inside to build her as something else. (as opposed to inspiering her to becomming what the master seeks).
I am just convinced that the intended use of silent treatment as a tool of teaching can give a lot of long term scars.

I must really again appologise if it came off offensive in the start, it is as you say; Triggers my buttons.
See, now your description of the silent treatment as ongoing practice is something that I would be more likely to consider abuse as well, or at the least an unhealthy idea. The difference would be systemic versus isolated, and this case, VelvetDarkness', and my own, are (by appearances with the others) isolated.

--

Quote:
Originally Posted by eastern sun View Post
Actually, he is wondering why hardly anyone recognized that he went to two restaurants, on crutches, with gout in his ankle, to pick up food for the family.
Hey now, I mentioned it! My first thought was trying to figure out how he managed that feat.

A few years back, I sprained my right ankle. Sumbitch, time for crutches, and still working because I was a small-business owner. Two days later, I'm in the field, and, got-damn, tripped and sprained the other one! I'm sitting on the sidewalk with camera, clipboard, and crutches scattered around, ankle already starting to puff up, and trying to figure out how to get back in my car, with all my gear, and drive my manual transmission equipped auto home.

So I definitely noticed his plight.

--

Quote:
Originally Posted by eastern sun View Post
To make a long story short, he volunteers to take our daughter to her horse-back riding lesson, our son to football practice (which entails standing outside in the cold for an hour and a half), and then takes our daughter to see "High School Musical 3" while our son finishes up a major language arts project. Allowing me to stay at home, and take things slowly.
I'm sick. Not bad, but still sick. Been that way for better than a week now. Kids're sick too. They're better, but not up to snuff. MIS is down for a visit, and she picked it up too. viv though, is sick bad. 103 degree fever at one point, throwing up, etc. Sunday hit both my gals hard, so I let them sleep in, got the kids breakfast, then went and got breakfast for the gals.

After they ate (very little, as neither was up to it), I took care of the kids, food, pets, etc. This morning, I got up early, got the monkeys dressed and fed, and got them off to school. Fortunately MIS is feeling somewhat better so she was able to help. As the kids all ride different buses, at diferent stops, and incompatible times, it was a handy thing.

The point to all of this is that sometimes Master gets to get off his hairy ass and do the stuff that the slave usually does because the slave is laid up. It may irritate the hell out of me, and I guarantee that I'm doing everything just incompetently, but I'm doing it. She may exist to serve me, but she is my property, and that means sometimes I have to take care of her. And occassionally that means breakfast in bed, singing them to sleep when they're hurting, watching the kids, cooking, etc.

It's life, not some silly fantasy.
__________________
"more than an awesome talking Cock."
-myinnerslut, from the Ropework Photos thread...


I am not usually one for titles. In my world, titles are reserved for relationships.
Millificent (aka "viv") and myinnerslut both call me "Master".
You can call me "Homburg". Still accepting Rope Bunny applications, of course.

Disclaimer: Live your life how you want to live. Be secure enough in what you do that _my_ words won't affect you. Because my opinion has no material meaning in your life beyond what you let it have.
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-24-2008, 01:00 PM   #150
intothewoods
Truth seeker
 
intothewoods's Avatar
 
intothewoods is offline
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 10,937
Quote:
Originally Posted by eastern sun View Post
Actually, he is wondering why hardly anyone recognized that he went to two restaurants, on crutches, with gout in his ankle, to pick up food for the family.
Hey, I said he could pout. But it is still pouting!

Quote:
Originally Posted by eastern sun View Post
<snip>

To make a long story short, he volunteers to take our daughter to her horse-back riding lesson, our son to football practice (which entails standing outside in the cold for an hour and a half), and then takes our daughter to see "High School Musical 3" while our son finishes up a major language arts project. Allowing me to stay at home, and take things slowly.

High School Musical 3? Shit. The man is a saint!
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 05:40 AM.

Copyright 1998-2013 Literotica Online. Literotica is a registered trademark.