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Old 08-26-2014, 12:13 AM   #1
QX1994
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Starting a power exchange relationship

Any recommendations on how to ease into a power exchange relationship? I will be in the Dom role and want this to be something that provides energy to the relationship versus taking it away. This is something she is seeking. Her background has been as a Domme and is looking to be a sub. It will not be a 24/7, as I don't believe either of us would be able to support this without some serious rearranging in our lives.
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Old 08-26-2014, 01:55 AM   #2
seela
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Quote:
Originally Posted by QX1994 View Post
Any recommendations on how to ease into a power exchange relationship? I will be in the Dom role and want this to be something that provides energy to the relationship versus taking it away. This is something she is seeking. Her background has been as a Domme and is looking to be a sub. It will not be a 24/7, as I don't believe either of us would be able to support this without some serious rearranging in our lives.
Have you talked about what you'd like to experience? Have you talked about your respective limits?

I don't know if there's a way to really ease into it, other than just start trying the things you're interested in. Don't go all the way into the deep end first. Ie. if you're into bondage, start by trying her arms only, maybe even using some velcro cuffs that she can remove herself if you want to be really on the safe side, instead of trying suspension for the first thing.

Talk to each other a lot, even during the scene, and you'll be fine. If she's been a Domme, I'm sure she knows about safety and so on and can help you along if you get stuck with something.

I'm sorry I can't be of more help. I'm sure someone else will come along with more advice. In the meantime, it might be useful for you to read the essay about Doms, subs, Tops and bottoms Stella Omega has linked in her profile. It might ring a bell one way or another. Here's a link: http://forum.literotica.com/showpost...&postcount=148
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Last edited by seela : 08-26-2014 at 01:59 AM.
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Old 08-26-2014, 10:53 AM   #3
CutieMouse
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To the PYL in the relationship - don't abuse your power. Just because you CAN expect X doesn't mean you should or need to.

To the pyl in the relationship - do what you're told. The vast majority of this stuff boils down to "submissives, submit."

As for "easing into it", unless you barely know each other (in which case I would *NOT* suggest having a power exchange relationship without a lot of conversation ahead of time), I would suggest you probably already have [a power based 24/7 relationship].

Does the pyl let the PYL take the lead in decisions? Does the PYL generally direct the flow? Is the pyl happy pleasing the PYL? Is the PYL happy doing things that make it easy for the pyl to please him/ her? Guess what? Power dynamic.

The OP mentioned the presumed difficulty of being 24/7 without seriously rearranging lives... if one views a power based relationship to be kinky sexy naked bondage time every second of every minute of every day? Yep. Independently wealthy (and a very 2D mindset) would help. A lot.

But if one moves beyond the stereotypes, and recognizes that 24/7 is working with a common goal [the power dynamic] in mind... a whole new world opens up. When I'm in a relationship, I "belong" to my lover no matter what I'm doing. I reflect the relationship, even when he's not around. It's not as hawt and sexy to realize that I'm making decisions based on D/s when dealing with a plumbing emergency (instead of cleaning house in nothing but 6" heels [dear god] and kneeling at the front door when he walks in), but the reality of 24/7 is exactly that.

Just food for thought.

PYL = Dominant, Top, Master, etc
pyl = submissive, bottom, slave, etc
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