LOST: Sinister Paradise (closed)

LOST: Sinster Paradise

Closed for Ssunstorm and Jekyll87

This is not a group thread. But I tried to start one here.


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Name: Kate Austen
Age: 27
Description: Athletic build with dark curly hair and green eyes.

Before the crash of flight 815, she was a fugitive on the run. Now she struggles between her past and striving to be a better person.




Kate needed to have some time alone with her thoughts, something that had been happening a lot to her lately. Before the crash, she had allowed herself little time to sit idle and let her thoughts roam… or as she now dubbed it: wallowing. The Island made her nervous. It wasn’t just the strange whispers, a murderous, rampaging creature and lack of communication with the outside world. It was the fact she had to face things about herself that she would rather ignore.

If she had to sit and gaze aimlessly forward, she had found the perfect spot: Perched on a wet stone near the soothing thunder of a waterfall. She preferred to be alone when her mood plummeted and the spring she had discovered with Sawyer was still a secret from most of the other survivors. Her last spot on the beach had been prone to interruptions. Her bottom would be resting comfortably in the white sand, toes buried, and her chin held high while her green eyes watched the rolling waves of the ocean. She’d lament silently over the past, fret over surviving – then along would come Jack with his concern, or Sawyer with a snarky comment. Sometimes Charlie or Hurly might happen by, but the pair were often entertaining and helped her forget her depressing thoughts. Jack and Sawyer, however, were usually the cause of her sour moods. Both men, though each inherently different, appealed to her in different ways.

The raven haired woman stretched, arching her back into a curve that released some tension in her spine from having been sitting bent over her knees for so long. Her red tank top, soaked through and darkened to near black because of her swim to the rock, clung to every curve of her petite form. Her legs were bare, free of the heavy confines a wet pair of pants would have brought. The only other clothing she wore was black underwear.

A glance up at the sky showed the sun had begun to dip below the tree canopy. It was probably time for her to stop thinking about Jack and Sawyer and trek through the jungle back to the safety shelter would bring, surrounded by her fellow survivors. She dove smoothly from the rock and into the cool, clean spring. Her slender arms cut through the water and her legs kicked, propelling her towards the shore.

OOC: Closed for Jekyll87

Jack Shephard

Jack ran a hand through his stubble. It's been too long. Too long on this godforsaken piece of land. They should have been here by now.Rescued them .

Jack rarely had time to think nowadays. He had been appointed the unofficial leader of their paltry band of survivors, and even though he had refused the responsibility once, he couldn't help but lead them. They were so disoriented and confused all the time, he wondered how they would have gotten along without him. Jack sometimes felt that he was glad of the plane crash. His life hadn't been the best back home. His drunk father used to undermine him every chance he could get. The same father, whose coffin he had been carrying back. His life in the island, on the other hand was somewhat better. He had the respect of everyone on the island. Well not everyone, the others were still bent on killing them. But he had respect nonetheless, and Kate, who he was quickly falling for. He wasn't sure about her feelings though, she seemed to be in love with him for a moment, and then running away to Sawyer the next.

Jack had never thought that he would fall for such a woman. She was a fugitive, a convict being transported by the marshall on board. He wished the marshall was alive right now, he would have told her who she had killed.. Kate had told Jack only that it was someone she loved, and the sadness in her eyes had refrained him for asking more. But he wanted to know more about her, to learn about her past, the things which he thought he could fix. She was like Susan in some ways, she too was broken, and he thought that he could help her as well.

Jack had come to terms with the responsibility thrust on him, he was to be their leader, and as such it was important to act the part. He couldn't let on to the rest that he was terrified of the others too. There was always so much going on. Ana Lucia had stirred up everything again. Her bullet had not only killed Shannon but challenged his leadership as well.

Jack breathed slowly and cleared his thoughts. He couldn't waste time thinking about it, there was too much to be done. He went out, to see the sun dipping into the water. The beautiful sunsets now irritated him, and he had secretly given up hope that they would be rescued. Although he would still do everything he can to get them off this island.

OOC: I promise I won't always write novels for you, lol. I started writing and couldn't stop.


Kate emerged from the water feeling fresh and clean, not only from the dirt that always managed to cling to her freckled face, but from the worry that had been coursing through her since her last run in with Jack. It had consisted of sharing an awkward hello and weak smiles. Before she had kissed him yesterday, they would have stopped to chat and maybe flirt, but instead the doctor had only smiled politely, wished her a good day and walked away. Her heart had fallen as she watched his retreating back sadly. She doubted that he was angry about the kiss, or mad at her for it, but that he was probably confused by her erratic behavior.

She was certainly confused. It wasn't just that she had suddenly and impulsively kissed him when he had tried to comfort her, but the way the Island affected her and everyone else. Kate knew that she wasn't the only one to see or have strange experiences. She was sure that the spirit of her dead father Wayne had possessed an unconscious Sawyer while locked in a fevered sleep, recovering from the gun shot wound in his shoulder. She remembered fearfully how the con-man's big, strong hands had wrapped around her throat and squeezed, chocking the air from her and attemtpting to crush her wind-pipe.

The memory of her coughing gasps were still loud in her ears as Sawyer had said, "You killed me!" in an accusing, sinister voice. Panicked, she had clawed and struck him with her fists until a well aimed blow had impacted his face and sent Wayne back to hide in the depths of Hell a while longer.

She wondered What it was about this Island that brought the skeletons dancing out of all their closets. Kate was convinced that some kind of supernatural power was at work, something she couldn't explain. And that scared her. She had been a simple woman when it came to faith or spirituality. God had never been a big part of her life and she felt like she owed Him little allegiance. After watching her mother be beaten by a scumbag for most of her life, and suffering along with her, she had little patience for faith that something better would come along. She had acted to save her mother because waiting had done no good.

She had killed Wayne, something she didn't regret. There were times she wished she could feel remorse, but he had been so vile and made her feel so worthless... She was happy that he was gone. She wasn't happy about the fact her mother had truly loved the bastard and turned her into the police... Diane's betrayal still ran deep in her veins like a poison. How could she have chosen to be loyal to someone who had treated her badly over her own daughter?

Kate had later come to realize that in killing Wayne, the man her mother loved, had also been a betrayal. But Diane had deserved better. Both of them should have had better lives. Kate knew this with her head, but her heart was another story. Having Wayne be a physical part of her made her feel dirty and undeserving of good things. She'd resorted to being a murder... though Kate felt she'd done a horrible thing for good reasons, she didn't deserve to be forgiven. She didn't deserve to be happy. Not after ruining her mother, herself and the many other lives while running from U.S. Marshal Edward Mars.

She grabbed a pair of crumpled jeans and stepped into them. It took a few tugs to successfully pull them up her wet legs but she finally managed it. A glance up at the sky told her it was just after sunset and she'd have to hurry back to the beach to make it before dark. Normally she wasn't spooked to be on her own, but after seeing the black stallion, getting choked by her dead father, and Sayid telling her he'd seen Walt in the jungle, she was more than a little nervous. Daylight would allow her to see who or what was hiding in the trees. Darkness would conceal any possible dangers. And she didn't have a gun.

Kate quickly slipped her feet into socks and and a set procured shoes before setting off at a brisk jog.

She was less than halfway to the beach when subtle changes in the air announced an oncoming storm. Her pace quickened. Shed ben caught in the jungle multiple times in a downpour and it wasn't among her favorite experiences. The storms usually pelted the Island with violent torrents of rain that stung when it struck the skin. All around her thunder rumbled and echoed like distant avalanches and she knew she wouldn’t make it. She could smell the storm coming, taste it, feel it on the freshening wind. Soon the first droplets landed on the skin of her face and shoulders.

Lightning split the rainy twilight, turning the world to burning silver. Thunder followed instantly, loud enough to drown out all other sounds. Rain came down harder and then harder still, a torrent fit to put out the fires of hell. She was quickly soaked, and so was the ground beneath her feet which successfully became a slick, muddy mess.

Running became a chore as her footing threatened to slip out from under her. Relief came as she saw makeshift shelters through gaps in the trees, but it was blasted from her when her foot landed unevenly in a shallow hole. Kate wobbled and fell forward hard. She cried out as her front hit the mud and her breath was knocked from her lungs.

Her face scraped against something hard and she hissed through her teeth with the sudden burning pain. It took a minute for her breathing to cease being gasps and return to normal. She pushed herself up with her arms. At first it was hard to stand, her muscles aching from smacking the earth so hard. She pulled on a sturdy vine to pull herself up. She tested her weight on her ankle and only felt a tiny twinge. Reliefe came through knowing she hadn't twisted her ankle, but the side of her face was throbbing with pain.

She gingerly touched it while she walked the final length to the camp. Her fingers came away with blood that was quickly washed clean by the rain.

"Kate! You're back!"

Her head snapped up and she saw Hurly rushing up to her as soon as she appeared out of the trees. She saw worry change his plump face as he took in her injury. "Dude. What happened? Are you okay? Where were you?"

Her head swam with all of his questions. Pain was weakening her and making her feel lightheaded. She stumbled and Hurly caught her. She fell against his solid frame and heard him say, "Whoa! You're bleeding pretty badly. I'll take you to Jack." He began to lead her to Jack's tent.

"No!" She cried out forcefully. A little to forcefully. Hugo was shocked by her outburst. He knew she was tough, but it was strange for her to refuse treatment for a gushing wound. "I mean, no I can take care of it..."

He shook his head saying, "No way, dude. I'm not going to be the one who let you die." With finality he put an arm around her and lead her to the doctor's tent.

Jack moved through the ranks, almost everyone greeted him. He was sure to return everyone's wishes, adding a word or two of his own. It still bothered him some that they looked up to him, even though he didn't even know who half of them were. Sure he remembered their names, he had spent two afternoons learning them from Hurley, who had learned them while preparing the manifest. But he still didn't know much about them except for a handful of people. He silently decided to change that in the coming days.

He sopped when he reached Rose. She was washing some clothes on a stone slab, running the soap they had found in the hatch on the dirty linen. Jack again said a silent thanks to Locke. Though God knows what new calamity he had brought upon them, at least they had some supplies now. They would not have to live like animals now, and their quality of life had improved considerably after they had raided the store in there. Bu still Jack wondered if it had been worth it. Locke had them pushing numbers now, and Jack was quite strongly of the opinion that it was all a waste. He was convinced that Locke and him were going to lock horns over it sometime in the future, but for now, it didn't matter much.

He moved closer to Rose. Between her laundry and watching at Bernard who was at the beach, she hadn't noticed him.
" Hello Rose. How are you ?"

Rose had been the happiest one when the survivors from the tail section had shown up at the beach. She had clung to Bernard like she hadn't seen him for years. Tears had streamed down her eyes, and from the eyes of some onlookers too.

She turned her head up to him, and then resumed her work, " He just doesn't listen. I told him there was a storm coming. But look at him, running on the beach like a child. "

Jack could see the smile she had as she said it. She unnerved him sometimes, observing things that weren't meant to be observed. He looked up at the sky and sure enough it looked like there was a storm coming. He would have to make his rounds fast, before the rain made doing anything outdoors impossible. He said a curt, " Talk to you later Rose. Make sure you are both under your ......shelter....when the rain hits. " before moving off in the direction of other survivors.

He met up with Libby, who Sayid was helping. They were trying to put up a cloth on the shelter that Hurley had built with her, to protect her from the impending rain. He asked her where Hurley was, and she just shrugged her shoulders. Jack assured her that he was around here somewhere, to ease the worry lines that had formed over her face. He would have stood and talked to her some more but he had to make sure everyone was allright before the rain hit. Once the downpour started, the visibility reduced to a few feet, and he wanted to check on everyone once, before that happened. He wanted to especially see Kate and Ana Lucia. Ana Lucia didn't have a shelter, and well no one was feeling particularly friendly towards her at the moment to share theirs. And as for Kate, well he had his reasons.

Jack was halfway through the camp when the first drop hit him. Immediately millions followed, darting down like little stingers on the sandy beach. He was soaked in a minute, and though he wanted to continue on, he felt it would be better to remain in his hut. He was the only doctor among them, and as that, and as their de facto leader, anybody who needed him would seek him out there.

His thoughts turned back to Kate as he made his way slowly back. He was already drenched, and there was no point in hurrying and tripping over a rock now. His mind replayed the kiss. He had been pleasantly surprised. They had been flirting since day one, when she had been his nurse, but she had never shown her true feelings before the kiss. He had been scolding her, unaware of what she had been going through. She had broken down and told him she wasn't perfect like him. Her running off after the kiss had left him heartbroken and confused. He didn't know what to think of it. Since then he had been replaying the scene over and over again in his mind. 'She wasn't perfect', that could only mean her past, to the murder she committed. Something has happened recently to remind her of it, and that's why she had been missing from the hatch. If only Jack knew who she had killed. She had said it was someone she loved, and Jack was slightly inclined to think it was a former lover. But he couldn't be sure. Although his mind told him that her victim was a bad person and he deserved it, if only to make her more worthy of his love.

As he trudged on through the torrential rain, he heard a shout calling his name. His senses alert, he immediately moved toward the source of the sound, although it was a little difficult to tell, due to the constant noise of the falling water around him. It seemed to be coming from his tent, and Jack ran all the way , his naked feet catching the wet sand.

Kate no longer fought Hurly as he guided her through the blinding rain. Though she felt like avoiding Jack because she didn't want to get caught once more in an awkward silence, she knew he had to take a look at her head. By herself, she wouldn't have much luck diagnosing her self or stitching the cut unless someone could hold up a mirror for her. She didn't even know how bad the cut was at this point. It could have been small, or maybe it was deep and ugly. She couldn't tell through daze, but judging by how badly it burned, it wasn't a surface scratch. Another scar to add to all the others, her mind mused.

She seemed to finally realize how dizzy she actually was. Her sneakers stumbled in the clumping, wet sand but she didn't fall. Hurly gripped her tighter and helped hold her upright. She could hear him calling for Jack and his loud voice so close to her head made her wince. The rain pounding on her head wasn't helping either. It made her groan deeply.

Her vision shifted as she tried to focus through the gray rain obscuring her line of sight. She could see a form growing closer. By the line of the man's broad shoulders and shortly cropped hair, she could tell it was Jack. His visage seemed to swim like a reflection on water. She blinked, but gave up trying to focus and let her eyelids fall closed.

Her heart was quickening at knowing he was close and that his hands would soon probably be framing her face. A rush of warmth that had nothing to do with being lightheaded from the injury flowed through her. It made her breath catch and her chest feel light. There had been so many times when she'd imagined trusting Jack, allowing herself to finally confide in him all her secrets, all her fears... Wanting to feel him hold her to his chest and tell her she wasn't a bad person. But she felt like a bad person, even when she tried to do something good.

On the Island, she had hoped to keep her status as a fugitive to herself. The Marshal's death had helped to keep that fact unknown for a time - until Hurly and Jack had seen her mugshot. She hoped that now she had proven herself to all of them, especially after Sawyer had spitefully announced to the beach that it had been herself traveling as the Marshal's prisoner. With dread, she'd watched the people gathered around the doomed raft look at her hard and then walk away. Her past had seemed to come and go for them quickly, which had made her very happy. She had imagined herself becoming yet another exile, avoided and hated. However things had returned to normal. They knew she wasn't dangerous to them. Kate liked feeling accepted. It gave her a fleeting sense of belonging somewhere, no matter how restless she became.

"J-Jack?" her voice stammered as his blurry form passed left and right before her eyes. A violent shiver wracked her body from the icy rain pouring down on her. Her skin felt chilled, but inside she still felt a small glow of heat by seeing the doctor. She knew that as soon as he touched her, the bubble would burst and plunge her into a flush of heat. She worried about the red blush that would tinge her cheeks and if he would see it. "I'm ok... I'll be fine. I just tripped...."

In no time at all he was in front of the source of the noise. His heart stopped for a moment as he saw Hurley holding on to an almost unconscious Kate. The rain poured down and washed all the blood away, so that Jack couldn't guess where her injury was. All other thoughts cleared his head as he let his training and instinct take over. Kate muttered something but a clap of thunder drowned out her voice. His hands motioned for Hurley to put her inside the tent, and Jack followed soon after.

" Jack man, you've gotta help her. It's her head dude !"
A worried Hurley backed out, the blood he had seen on Kate's face making him nauseous. And there wasn't enough room in the small tent anyway.Now that she was inside, Jack could see blood oozing out of either her head or face, he couldn't tell which.

He got up and grabbed the first aid kit. It was much more than a first aid kit though, as he had supplemented it with many other medicines and equipment. It had proved useful many a time, as the injuries on the island were usually far from minor.

His mind was devoid of any emotion. It might as well have been anyone else beneath him. He was just a doctor, and saving the life of his patient was all that mattered. He poured the bottle of alcohol over her head and face, and winced as she screamed at the stinging pain the spirit caused.She immediately fell unconscious, but her screams had brought him out of his professional trance. The feel of her lips haunted him again as he remembered their kiss.

He was worried more than he ought to have been with any other patient. More than once he cursed himself at all the unsaid conversations between them.' I should have been there when it happened. I should have never let her wander the jungle alone. ' Even though he knew it was unreasonable, he blamed himself for her condition.

" Don't die on me Kate !! Don't you dare die on me. "

Jack chided himself and set to work again. He cleaned the spirit and blood and dirt off her face with cotton. He could see the wound clearly now. It was not too deep, but it wasn't just a flesh wound either. Jack heaved a sigh of relief, realizing that it wasn't fatal. He cleaned the wound carefully, making sure that not one particle of dirt remained around it. It was a cut, just below her hairline, on the side of her face. It would be hidden by her curls pretty well.

He dressed the wound, and stuck a patch of gauze on it with medical tape he had found in the hatch. Laying her head on a pillow, he sat beside her on the clothes he had placed on the sandy floor.

Hurley's curls preceded his chubby face into the tent.
" Is she going to be okay man ?"
Jack looked up at his face sticking in.
" Yes Hurley. She's going to be fine. How did this happen ?"
" Dunno dude. I found her like that in the jungle. I'll go check on Libby then. "

Jack smiled as Hurley's head disappeared again. Hurley was beginning to fall for Libby. 'Good. At least some good thing might come out of this wretched place.'

His mind wandered off to Kate again, as he kept her under observation. He hoped things would be better between them soon. She should never had kissed him. The two of them couldn't even look each other in the eye now. He wanted so much to be there for her, to save her from her inner demons. He remembered his ex wife telling him that he needed to fix things, that he just needed someone to save and then move onto the next person that needed saving. 'Had she been right about me ? Am I attracted to Kate only because she's broken ?'

He wasn't going to ponder on why he liked Kate. He liked her, that's all that mattered. Period. Instead Jack thought about his ex wife and his father. He still wasn't sure if he was the man she had been sleeping with. Anger and jealousy welled up inside him again as he thought of the way he had seen his father talk to her on the phone. And she hadn't denied it when he had confronted her. How could she have done that to him? He tasted bile in his mouth as the image of his wife and his father, together, came unbidden to him.

He came back to the present and looked at Kate's unconscious body before him. His hand shot out and caressed her cheek, before lifting a bang of her hair and tucking it behind her ear. He stood up, and undressed. No use remaining in wet clothes. He changed into a dark grey sleeveless tshirt and brown long shorts, glancing all the while to see that she wasn't looking. He placed the towel over her, and wiped her arms and neck gently. His hands trembled as he undid her jeans, pulling it down just a little to make sure she was wearing underwear. He pulled off her wet jeans, heavy with the water in them, and wiped her slender legs free of water. Jack had to remember breathing as he did so, telling himself again and again that it was only so she wouldn't catch something. He dared not remove her wet top though, because it was clearly apparent that she wasn't wearing anything underneath it.

Jack covered her slender form with a blanket and leaned back against the shelf he had built, closing his eyes and breathing in and out deeply, clearing his mind of the thoughts that touching her had put in his head.

Before Kate became too woozy to stay conscious, she thought, “If I have a concussion, then at least there’s a good doctor close by.”

The pain from striking her head on the mystery object - rock or branch, she didn’t know for sure – was dulling her senses and her ability to care about what happened next. All she wanted was a soft place to lie down… A soft, fluffy pillow to cradle her agonized skull. Her pink lips kicked into a slight smirk as she realized how fruitless it was to crave such comforts. Even the Hatch with its store room of food, kitchenette, bathroom and bunks was far from the luxury she wanted more than anything else in that moment.

Her smile vanished and her face turned into a grimace as she felt herself being heavily placed on the ground. Her eyes fluttered open and she saw the blurry faces of both Jack and Hurly above her without recognizing them. Beyond the fuzzy blobs, a dark blue background cut off the rest of the world. A tarp… I’m in a tent. Distantly she realized the loud rumble that she thought was her heart was the rain pummeling the tiny, makeshift alcove.

She could hear both of her fellow survivors talking, but the words had no meaning through the haze. However she felt a pair of warm hands holding her face and that did have meaning. Where ever he touched her chilled, pale skin, heat sank into her. But suddenly the warmth went away as her head felt like it was being shredded into a million pieces. The blackness that had been threatening to drown her since the disorientation began overwhelmed her. Her pained cry pierced the air inside the tent before it died and she fell willingly into the clutches of sleep.

Within her healing trance, Kate felt oddly soothed. The first thing she realized as she drew gradually awake was a cascade of unpleasant sensations. Her head was being hammered by what felt like the most violent hangover a human being could endure. Her breath came in with a gasp against the rhythmic twinging that pulsed in tandem with her heart.

What she noticed next was a flickering glow reminiscent of a fire flickering and casting moving shadows on the dark blue tarp draped over a sturdy shell of sticks secured by wire and vines. After that, the distant roar of waves crashing on the shore entered her ears. The rain had stopped, and judging by the fact she couldn’t see any shadow lines being cast onto the tarp from outside, night had fallen. No other sounds came from the camp which meant most of the 815 survivors had to be asleep.

Kate was allowed very little time to take it all in because her sharp breath, and following whimper had stirred Jack from a light doze. He must have been keeping himself awake to watch over her. A hand went quickly to his face to brush accidental sleep from his eyes. She saw him blink hard once and snap his head towards her, alarm visible in the harried lines of his face. Before she could even open her mouth to speak he had come forward to lean over her.

She swallowed hard and her dry throat came to her attention. So did the sudden influx of her heart. The pain increased until the spasms were almost constant. Silently, she scolded herself. Every time he was close, she reacted like a young girl with her first crush. There were so many feelings flooding her and many of them revolved around wanting to be closer to him, but feeling inferior to his integrity. Jack rarely flaunted his righteousness, but he still made her feel shameful of all the mistakes she had made.

She wanted to be better, to be a woman that he deserved, but she frequently found herself trapped by her insecurities, sabotaging the chances to prove she was worthy of his trust. There were times when she felt that he could love her. It lingered between them like all the unspoken desires she yearned to confess, a charged tension that was becoming harder for her to ignore with each day that passed. But she knew that she would hurt him somehow. It wasn’t her intention, but she felt that he held her in higher esteem than she was worthy of. The thought of disappointing him pricked her heart like shattered glass.

It was easier to push him away, but after kissing him yesterday, things between them were different. They'd have to talk about it eventually. Her wildest dreams imagined them finally telling one another the truth. The full truth, not just partial stories and keeping secrets from one another.

Would they have more moments like their golf game the day Eko had come charging towards them, a wounded Sawyer over his shoulders. She didn't want her ill-timed kiss to ruin the friendship they'd built. Rarely had she been happier than when they were together, laughing and teasing one another. She had been glowing with sheer delight during the golf game, simply enjoying the fact they were all alone together. She remembered the strong, fluid swing of his stroke and the hard, masculine lines of his body, the muscles of his arms visibly rippling beneath his skin…

Another tiny sound came from deep within her throat, but this one wasn’t from pain, but elemental female appreciation of the very handsome doctor she’d come to admire and even love…

Her heart twisted even more as Sawyer came into her pain addled brain. The con-man was someone she had more in common with. However he made her think of Wayne and when she felt the least bit attracted to his southern charm and chiseled body, she also felt a sense of revulsion. However he didn’t make her feel like she was imperfect. Miserably, she realized how she didn’t allow herself to love without being cautious. There was always a catch. Either she was insecure, like she was around Jack at times, or she settled for someone whom she knew could accept her as she was. Flawed.

OOC: I think i cleaned up all my errors up there! Forgive my missed typos.

Jack didn't even know when the dream overpowered him.

He was on a beach, not unlike the one they crashed on. But it was far more beautiful. The sun was drowning into the endless waters, bathing the world with a golden light. He could feel the white sand beneath his feet, grains of which were stuck on his legs. The ocean looked like it was made of a million glittering stars, except that the stars were twinkling golden instead of silver. It was only broken by the small waves, the tiaras on the water's head. There was no sound though, except that of his own breathing. The moon was up in the sky, its glow pale besides the setting sun.

Jack turned his head and looked beside him. She was there, holding his hand. It was strange that he hadn't felt her there, but he saw now that she wasn't holding his hand, rather holding her own. Her limbs were in handcuffs, the cold metal glinting yellow in the fading sunlight. She wasn't looking at him, she was looking down at her hands, a tear flowing down her cheek. A sudden pang of love hit him in the chest like a physical blow. He heard his breathing become faster, his medical mind comprehending it as a reaction to the adrenaline being pumped into his system.

" Kate....." , he said. But the world was muted, and he didn't hear anything break through the sounds of his short breaths. And she didn't look up at him. " Kate...", he tried again. Nothing. He reached across and touched her cheek, wiping away the wet tear, only to be replaced by another. But his touch seemed to have made her realize that he was there beside her, protecting her from any harm that might befall her. But still she wept.

The beach was silent, except for the sounds made by his body, but he distinctly heard her inhale and whimper as she cried.

Jack rubbed his eyes and shook his head. When had he fallen asleep ? Damn ! He needed to be awake to see if she was doing allright. The beach was silent just like his dream. And for a moment he was taken back to the dream world, sleep and exhaustion tugging at his consciousness. He rubbed the sleep away from his eyes, before it engulfed him again. He couldn't sleep, not when she needed him. Jack's body longed for a full night's rest, one where he wouldn't be plagued by the his dreams or interrupted by someone's problems.

There wasn't a moment to be lost as he hovered over her. She seemed to be awake, but he ignored her eyes as he changed her bandage, half soaked in blood. The cut had closed now, and she wasn't bleeding anymore. It would take weeks to heal completely though.

Jack looked into those deep orbs, hiding so much pain behind them, and whispered, " Kate, can you hear me ?"

Why wouldn't she let him in ? Didn't she trust him ? He could fix her. He could take away the memories of whatever she had done. He wondered sometimes if she was in love with Sawyer because he was more like her. He was the criminal of the group, grabbing everything he could from the wreckage. Even forcing Jack to permit Sayid to torture him for Shannon's inhalers.

He still remembered with disgust at how he had given Sayid permission to do that. He hated Sawyer for making him do that. By making Jack hurt him, he had broken something in Jack, something that even Jack couldn't fix. Jack was a changed man now, he was dedicated to be just and fair. And most of all, to getting the survivors off this island. Even if it meant killing another human being, probably the 'others' like Ethan.

Did she love him then ? Sawyer might be a crook, but didn't girls like Kate usually go for the bad boys ? Maybe it was just that. A physical attraction for the bad boy of the group. Jack had seen her looking at Sawyer the way she sometimes looked at him. Even though he didn't want to think about it, the image of Sawyer and Kate in each other's arms kept cropping up in his mind. He would grow jealous then, but if it was one thing his marriage had taught him, it was that how envy destroyed him. He had given up his life to find out who she was sleeping with. His life, his pride, his sanity, his wealth, his marriage and even his freedom had been sacrificed to his quest for finding the man. It wasn't like he even knew what he was going to do when he found out the man's identity. There was still a small sliver of doubt in his mind that it was his father. But punching him that night had certainly felt good. Even if he had to spend time in a lock up for it. And when Susan had come to bail him out, it had only reinforced his story that it was his father who took her away from him.

Jack had vowed then to never let jealousy take over him again. He was determined to keep that promise now. No matter what happened. However he wondered if this integrity of his would hold if he saw Sawyer and Kate together for real instead of just in his thoughts.

Candles from the Hatch's storage room gave the pair enough light to see one another. Kate's pounding head made her eyes want to remain closed and fall back into sleep's blissful embrace, but having Jack beside her filled her with contentment. Even if the doctor made her feelings as jumbled as a junk yard mess, his presence made her feel safe and protected.

"Yes," she spoke quietly. Her first instinct was to sit up, make an excuse and fumble from the tent, but she knew he would stop her. No matter how uncomfortable they might have been to be forced together, he was in care-giver mode. She decided it would be easier to give in for once and not fight him. With a slight chuckle, she knew her head would thank her.

The chuckle made her grimace. Though she wanted to react to the situation with humor to lighten the mood, laughter would only hurt. Keeping her voice even, but with a wry look in her green eyes, she said, "Will I live?"

Kate knew the answer. She'd be fine in time. Head injuries could be bad, but even if she suffered a minor concussion from the fall, death was not knocking at her door. At least not yet. She still hoped her good natured question would make him smile. His grin, short breathy laugh and trademark look away was one of the cutest things she'd seen a man do. It endeared him to her. She had to fight the desire to reach up and stroke the rough stubble of his cheek.

Jack was amazed that she answered and was still more surprised when she chuckled. He was sure that she would have a concussion. He saw her wince when the pain hit her.

She was one of the most brave women he had known. The pain must be excruciating. Jack's mind immediately went to the morphine he had hidden in his gear.But she still wasn't in that much pain to justify injecting her with it. He just had a few vials, and he had a feeling he was going to need them for much more serious injuries.

He knew she was trying to joke, but he didn't find her mortality something to laugh at. He ignored her question, and started sifting through the first aid box, looking for some aspirin for her. He found them and took out two pills. He held them out to her, along with a bottle of water. "For the pain.",he said.

" Want to tell me what happened ?". He sounded a little angry. Jack himself didn't have an idea what he was angry about.

Maybe he was angry at Sawyer, for telling him that he loved Kate when the doctor had went to check up on him earlier. He certainly seemed to have more in common to her than Jack ever could. And hearing him say what Jack had suspected all along didn't make it any better.

Maybe he was angry at Kate, for he had seen her whisper lovingly into Sawyer's ears. It might be her kiss, or the fact that she still wouldn't tell him about her past when she had obviously told Sawyer. She seemed to keep a part of her closed off to everyone with thick walls, and none but Sawyer had been able to penetrate them.

Or just maybe he was angry at himself, for not being there to protect her, for not being able to fix her, and most importantly for letting his envy seep into his nature despite his promise to never let it affect him again.

Kate's attempt at good nature fell away as Jack spoke coldly to her. That meant he was more upset with her than she had expected. It had been foolish of her to try and be friendly and hope things would go back to how they had been before yesterday. She feared pushing him even further away.

The urge to flee the tent came back as her face settled into a pained unhappiness. She averted her eyes so she wouldn't have to look at him. Her hand reached out, palm cupped upward. He tilted his own and the pills rolled into her grasp. She craned her neckupward and placed them in her mouth. She began to push herself up so she could drink the water without spilling it all over herself, but her head exploded with the movement. She fall back again.

Kate could tell that when Jack brought the bottle to her lips to aid her, he did so reluctantly. Her stomache became unsettled with the knowledge that he didn't want to touch her, not even briefily to cup the back of her head while she swallowed some water. He guided her head back down and twisted a cap back onto the water bottle.

"I was trying to hurry back to the beach before it became too dark. Then it started raining and I slipped. Hit my head on something." She spoke slowly, breathing a little heavier than normal, so talking wouldn't agitate her head. "Is it bad?"

Jack hadn't thought that his anger would be detected, especially after all his will was focused on controlling it. But it was clear that she had detected the tone in his voice. He concentrated on his breathing, willing himself to calm down. He let the silence hang between them uncomfortably for a few seconds before he answered, " It'll take a few weeks to heal. You'll have to rest a few days, but it should be all right. It might leave a scar though."

He looked into her eyes and added, " You should be more careful Kate." . The advise had a hidden meaning too. He wanted her to be careful around Sawyer too. Jack didn't trust the man. Maybe it was his jealousy again but he felt that he was hiding something sinister.

He needed to know if she was in love with Sawyer. Jack had to know everything. It was one of his quirks. It was what had gotten him into trouble in Thailand too.
" I saw Sawyer earlier. ". He let the unspoken hang in the air between them.

“What’s another scar?” The rhetorical question came out as an attempt to show him she was trying to be friendly. Kate had grown up around nature. She’d gone hunting with Sam Austen, the man she had once thought was her biological father. From him, she learned how to track, shoot guns and rifles, and how to skin an animal. Their many camping trips into the wilderness were some of the few fond memories from her adolescence. She’d spent as much time with him as possible to escape the dysfunctional home environment Wayne had created.

He was intent on ignoring the fact she was trying to get on his good side. She knew she deserved it so she didn’t push him. Jack looked at her with a very serious expression. She met his gaze and saw the concern in his eyes as he told her she should be more careful. There was something hidden in his voice as he said it. Her brow furrowed together slightly. She knew he meant that he didn’t want her going off on her own, but there was more to it than that.

Shanon’s death was still fresh and served as a harsh example to the dangers all around them – even from fellow survivors, let alone the hostile, mysterious Others.

Kate let out a breath and nodded her head minutely. “I know it’s stupid. But I just needed…” She had gone off to the waterfall to clear her thoughts and figure out her feelings for the two men who were both intent on having her attention. Her goal had been to come back with a decision made, knowing which man she truly cared for. No easy answer had come to her. Feelings aside, both Sawyer and Jack were her friends. Now that romantic feelings were involved on all sides of the triangle, someone would have to be hurt. Causing pain for either of them was not something she wanted. It seemed impossible for her to pick one to love and let the other be angry, loosing his friendship.

Kate knew in her heart who she wanted, no mater how impossible it seemed. If an affair with Jack would be short lived, at least she would have had the chance to care for him. She wanted to pick the doctor but she could clearly imagine how Sawyer would look at her. There did not seem to be a way to keep them both close to her unless she kept them both at a distance. The contradiction was maddening.

“I needed to be alone,” She finished finally. She remembered her emotional outburst in the jungle when he had confronted her about abandoning a sick Sawyer in the Hatch. She’d cried and told him the Island was making her nuts. He knew she was battling with her inner turmoil over something that had happened. She was loath to admit to him about how she thought she’d been attacked by Wayne’s spirit. Though Kate knew everyone else had experienced visions or apparitions, Jack among them, she didn’t want him to think badly of her. Feeling as if she’d gone crazy, then kissing Jack, and being torn between two men had left her tender and emotional.

He appeared to sense that her behavior had stemmed from the Island’s strange phenomenon. She was glad he wasn’t making her relive it. The pair of them had in fact both witnessed the monster that stalked the jungle together. And it didn’t stalk as much as it floated. Little here made sense, especially a hostile black cloud that killed and made clanking and roaring noises. They both understood the Island had many sinister secrets. Pressing one another about things they’d seen would be futile.

His announcement about seeing Sawyer made her forget about the stupid choice to wonder the jungle alone. His veiled comment from before about being careful was suddenly obvious to her now. He meant the con man. She understood his fears. As well as she and Sawyer got along at times, he also frightened her and angered her. He was very self-centered and arrogant with violent tendencies. She didn’t think he would hurt her physically, but he seemed so hell-bent on being a loner that he purposefully alienated his fellow survivors. How long would it be before he did the same to her?

After a moment she realized Jack could alienate her just as successfully. But he did it only after she screwed up or broke his trust. Sawyer was unpleasant just so that he could everyone from getting close to him. Kate remembered how Jack had once said he didn’t want her to owe Sawyer anything. He was honestly concerned for her safety. Hope stirred her heart.

She tore her eyes away from his and tried not to sound upset. “I know you wanted me to keep an eye on him. He was sleeping when I left. His infection didn’t come back did it?”

Worry crinkled her face as their eyes met once more. Romantic feelings for Sawyer left her thoughts as she pictured him shaking and helpless once more, possibly dying because she hadn’t kept her promise. She was one of the few people willing to put with Sawyer for long periods of time. She wasn’t off to a good start where regaining Jack’s trust was concerned.

He knew how she felt. Or thought he knew. Sometimes he wanted to be alone too. But his being alone had become almost impossible after the first week. He had been frustrated at not getting any time to think by himself. He still let himself think about why they weren't rescued yet. And not being able to ponder on the problems facing them had seriously hidered his abilities to get the survivors off this prison paradise. In a way he was glad too, because he still didn't want to think about some things.

He didn't want to think about his father's ghost. Or whatever he had seen in the first week. He had been shaky while following it, but after Locke told him to chase his visions, he had felt confident that he wasn't crazy. And his mind had been reassured when he had seen the coffin. But it being empty raised serious doubts in his mind about his own sanity again.

Jack also didn't know what the black cloud was. He had seen the damage it could do on the second day itself. He still remembered how the pilot's body had been impaled on the trees. The same pilot who had been alive minutes ago. A chill went up Jack's spine. He was a man of science. And being a man of science, he didn't believe in monsters and ghosts. But the island had been proving him wrong every day since they got here.

He wanted to reach out to her. To take her face in his hands and tell her that he understood. Tell her that he wasn't the perfect man she thought he was. He wanted to talk to her about Christian, his failed marriage and about Ach ara. There was something stopping him though. It could be that he didn't tell her anything about his past because she hadn't opened up to him yet. But primarily it was because he didn't want to break the image she had created of him.Though he would never admit it, he liked being the guy everyone turned to, he liked that no one on the island knew his past and had nothing to judge him by except his actions here.

Maybe she wanted that too ? But her past had followed her here. Everyone knew she was a fugitive, and though they didn't overtly show it, there was a mistrust in their eyes when it came to Kate. Even Sawyer, who she was closest to, had warned Jack that she was lying about whatever reason she gave him to get his help to open Mars's case. He had been inclined to believe the man, especially after seeing her sleight of hand with the key when they dug up the grave. Jack had been pleasantly surprised that she hadn't been lying about the box's contents. That day he knew that she would never be his. She idiolised him. She didn't want him to see her past. She was willing to lie and let him imagine far worse things about herself than include him in her thoughts.

She had chosen Sawyer, and he would just have to live with it.No matter what. Jack felt a stab of pain through his heart as he came to the realization. She had decided. His heart told him to ask the questions swarming through his head. ' Did she love Sawyer ? Did she love Jack ? Had she told Sawyer about her past ? Who had she killed ? Had they slept together..... ? '. Jack knew he was being ridiculous. Sawyer had been in no condition to sleep with her. But he couldn't help the images that flashed in his mind. For him sex was a much bigger issue than an emotional connection. There was no doubt about it, seeing his reaction to his wife, and also realizing the reason he had followed Ach ara in Thailand.He invouluntarily touched his arm when he thought about the mysterious Asian.

His teeth set, he controlled the flow of emotions within him. Only Locke had seen him break down before, and he was determined to keep it that way. The survivors needed a leader, and when he had accepted the unsaid decision, he had accepted that the responsibilities that came with the power. He would not, nay,could not show his emotions to anyone. He couldn't let anyone in.

" He's going to be fine.", Jack couldnt keep the emotion from his voice though. The thought sounded full of regret. And both Jack and Kate were surprised by it. He had thought that he could conceal his jealousy and hatred of the man boiling up inside him like a volcano ready to burst. And he hadn't realized that his envy had taken such a hold of him that he wanted Sawyer hurt. Jack immediately caught himself though, before he would fall into that dark abyss again.

" He'll be fine ". His words were devoid of feelings now. It sounded metallic, unnatural. The lack of tone told as much as the emtional voice a moment ago.

The candles provided a warm glow inside the tent. It would have been romantic, if not for the tension between them. Jack still had difficulty looking her in the eye. He couldn't deny that he had been aroused when he had wiped the rain off of her petite body. But a small part of him had also been disgusted when he had wiped her wet form, knowing that Sawyer's hands may have been where his hands were. He was disgusted more at himself though, for thinking that Sawyer got what he deserved when he was shot.

The sun was starting to rise, and Jack could hear one or two people waking up. The sounds of their feet, going away to the jungle to do their morning rituals could be heard outside. He looked at her again, his eyes focused on her wound. "Do you need something to eat ?". Wishing that she would say yes so that he could go outside, away from the awkwardness that had settled between them.

Jack regretted his decision earlier. Telling Kate to watch over the injured man had only brought them closer. But still his hero complex prevailed, and he was more sorry because she had left him alone twice, when he was in no condition to be left alone. Jack was as confused at his thoughts as when he was in front of the medical council presiding over his father. He hated Sawyer, yet he was angry with her for leaving his side when he needed her. The doctor didn't know what was right anymore.

Kate was relieved to hear that Sawyer was doing fine. She could sense the unhappiness swirling in Jack as he spoke. Normaly he didn't show harsh feelings for Sawyer, even though the pair were often in conflict.

Her body had seemed to have forgotten that it hadn't been fed in many hours until Jack mentioned food. They way her stomach came alive, it must have had ears of its own. She could imagine the organ, empty, begging to be nourished. She shifted under the blanket covering her body and put a hand to her abdomen to sooth her contracting stomach. The blanket moved and caressed the surprising nakedness of her thighs.

She froze as she realized her jeans were missing. A quick look with her green eyes found them hanging over one of the supports. She hadn't seen them before because she was so focused on the doctor. She swallowed with knowledge that he had undressed her. She knew it must have been to help keep her warm and so that she would dry more quickly. It still warmed her in a way that went beyond simple care for her health and appreaciation for his kindness. She worked very hard to surpress the blush rushing to her cheeks and to keep her breathing normal.

"I'm sorry," she blurtted suddenly instead answering his question about food. SHe knew that if she let him walk from the tent, she might never be able to say some the things that were bursting to be free. The moment, no matter how awkward, would be lost and once again they would returning to dancing around one another with half-hearted smiles and trivial small talk.

"I'm sorry for leaving Sawyer alone. I'm sorry I yelled at you. I'm sorry I kissed you." A small amount of tears gathered in the corner of her eyes. Inwardly she yelled at herself for being so weak and breaking down.

Even though he wanted nothing more than to walk out of there, Jack didn't move. He couldn't leave when someone needed him, especially Kate. Her tears were the ones which stopped him really, he wanted to be there to stop them. He had never seen her break down before, except when she had kissed him. There was something going on with her and he wanted to know what.

Jack's feelings became even more confused. But he immediately blurted," I'm not. " before he could stop himself. It was apparent to both for what he wasn't sorry for. The kiss had been the only thing which had told him that she returned his affections. Even the awkwardness that it resulted in, was endurable knowing that she would come around to him eventually. But after visiting Sawyer and hearing him confess his love, he wasn't so sure.

He whispered, " Sawyer told me he loves you. ". Jack didn't know why he told her that. He didn't even know how he expected her to react. Sawyer must have told her too, they certainly seemed very intimate in the hatch. He was secretly hoping that Kate would tell him that she loved Jack, and Sawyer can go to hell. But he would never wish that, not even on Sawyer. If she told him that she had chosen Sawyer, he would wish her good luck and leave it at that. Even though it would kill him to do so.

More and more noises could be heard from outside as most of the camp awoke. Soon they would be disturbed. Jack was sure that someone would come to get him in a few minutes.

Both of his statements caused her confusion to heighten. They way he'd been acting, she had been positive he was angry at her over the kiss. But maybe, she realized, he wasn't. He must have strong feelings for her as well. A little well of excitement began to flourish within her at the prospect. He COULD lover her and maybe she could finally be happy... But the sentence about Sawyer left her dumbfounded. Why would he have told the doctor something like that? Unless maybe it had been said in his fevered sleep. Could a confession like that be trusted when it was said during a state of delirium?

Her head spun, not from the pain, but from hearing both Jack's and Sawyer's confessions. She didn't even know which one to go after first. Elation was making her eager to ask Jack how he felt. Disbelief over Sawyer being able to truly love another human being other than himself made her want to scoff. She'd expected Sawyer to be attracted to her surly. He'd made no secret of that attraction, especially when conning a kiss from her when they had been trying to get Shanon's asthma medicine. Lust she could take in. Love? That was a brand new development. One that sent an unpleasant shiver coursing through her. Sawyer was too much like her dead father for her comfort.

Kate's mouth opened in surprise. Her lips moved as if she were going to say something, but she wasn't allowed the chance. From outside the tent came two voices. They were obviously drawing closer and she saw a cloud of displeasure pass over Jack's face at being interrupted.

"Jack? You awake, dude?" Hurly said in a voice just loud enough to possibly rouse Jack had he been asleep.

The tarp that currently acted as a door crinkled to the side and Hurly peered in. Gray, early morning light cast a shaft of light onto Jack and Kate, causing her to blink with the sudden change of brightness, no matter how dull it was. Past Hurly's curly mop of hair, she noticed Charlie curiously watching through the gap. When the musician noticed Kate was awake and squinting, he beamed and waved his hand. It was obvious to her right away that Hurly had told Charlie about her accident. Not many things stayed a secret if Hurly knew about them.

"Kate! You're alive. We're glad you didn't kick it during the night. A bunch of us were worried about you when you were gone for so long yesterday." His tone was his usual happy attitude. Hurly was always trying to entertain those around him, attempting to keep them cheerful.

Kate's mouth formed a half-hearted, tired smile for the pair. Though she loved them both, she was unhappy about her time alone with Jack being disturbed. "Yeah. Looks like I'll be fine thanks to Jack." Her voice was a little weak because of the pain throbbing in her head still, and rough sounding from lack of water.

Though she was squinting, she could see Charlie was grinning about something from behind Hurly's head. Part of her wondered if they were pleased to have found her and Jack awake and talking. There were times she suspected them at trying to play match-maker for herself and Shepard. They had been pleased with themselves after urging Jack to take Kate's bet and play a round of golf, something that would leave them alone for a while.

"Charlie and I just wanted to see how you were." More awkwardly, as if he felt bad for bothering them Hurly added, "Yeah so... you're not dead. Cool. We'll see ya later."

Jack was a little disappointed at being interrupted just before she was about to tell him something. A small part of him was also glad of the intrusion though, the part that didn't want to hear her answer. He was sure that she was about to tell him that she loved Sawyer too, and he wasn't ready to hear that. Not yet.

He wanted to get out before she had the chance to confess her love for the blond man. He shouted after Hurley,
" Hey Hurley. Wait. I'll come with you. I want to check on Sawyer."

He didn't know why he kept repeating his name in front of her. Maybe he wanted her to break down once again, to show him her emotions like she had in the jungle when her lips had met his. She had never let him in close before that, and she had again erected walls the around her heart which kept him from reaching to her.

It took a few seconds for his eyes to adjust to the light. For some reason Hugo and Charley were sharing secret winks and grinning like idiots. Jack knew they probably thought that something had happened between him and Kate. Especially after seeing Kate's jeans hanging on a pole.

Jack felt irritated with their conspiratorial smiles. He wanted to shout at them and tell them that she chose Sawyer, not him. But of course he didn't. He was too nice for his own good. Kate hadn't let him in for exactly that reason. He was just too goddamn perfect.

Finally Hugo elbowed him lightly and grinned, " Kate's good, man ?"
It was a loaded question, and it sounded well rehearsed. No doubt both of them had been talking about her since morning. Jack didn't return the smile but still answered, " She's going to be fine Hurley. I'll go check in on Sawyer. You want to come ?". He had done his best to keep his voice neutral.

Both of them followed him to Sawyer's shelter. Jack peeked in his head and saw that the big man was sleeping. The shelter was full of odd junk and stuff he had stolen from the wreckage and the hatch. Jack didn't wake him, he wasn't sure that he would be able to talk to him in a civilized fashion. His shoulder seemed to be doing better and the bandage still looked fresh.

" He's fine too. ".
Jack started moving towards Claire's tent. He wanted to check on Aaron before he left for the hatch.

She was already awake and nursing him. As Jack entered, she looked up and smiled. Her expression immediately changed to a frown when she noticed Charlie standing behind him.

" How is he doing Claire ? Need anything ?"
" He's great Jack. Thanks. "

It looked like Charlie wanted to say something to her, but he resisted. And Claire was giving such a cold eye to him, Jack doubted that Charlie could utter a single coherent sentence under that gaze. He decided to offer the poor man some respite.

" Charlie, I'm going to the hatch. Want to come ?"
Charlie's face lit up a little. He looked at Claire once and then said," Sure mate. I'll get the water and the bag. "Hugo looked a little disappointed at not being asked as usual. He was always the last one picked.

But Jack didn't want to take him too. He was the only one beside Sawyer and Sayid that Kate talked to, and Jack didn't want to leave her alone without a sympathetic soul to care for her. Soon Charlie and Jack were trudging through the jungle towards the hatch.

Before Kate's sore head could catch up to what was happening, she found herself alone in Jack's tent. The voices of the three men faded away into non existence as their strides took them further down the beach and away from her presence.

A miserable expression had settled onto her features while she stared unblinkly up at the crinkled canvas cloth serving as the roof Jack's shelter. She remained still beneath the thread bare cloth which was hiding her naked legs as numbness crept into her mind and burrowed itself a home. Her limbs felt frozen while Jack's voice replayed itself in her ears. She recounted everything they'd just said to one another since crawling out of her pain induced coma.

Harshly she berated herself within the tent's empty silence. "Why are you so stupid?" Without the doctor, the tiny shelter felt suddenly lonesome and uninviting. She felt like a reluctant intruder creeping into a place that was never meant to be entered. Jack's entire existence felt like that to her. She was the outsider who didn't belong, the puzzle piece that didn't fit within his life. She was a thief breaking in and stealing bits of his life to keep and hoard as her own. Something better… Something good. That was all she wanted. If she would only be allowed to taste it for a short time…

Her eyes closed tightly and her mouth stretched as she felt the tears coming to drown her. She felt her cheeks quiver as the first, short sob reverberated around her. I'll never be good enough for him. I'll never be able to be what he wants.

Slowly, Kate forced herself to sit upright even as she continued to gasp against the deep wrenching pain that was piercing her heart like steal talons. The makeshift blanket covering her lower half fell away as she climbed to her feet. She blinked through thick tears to clearly see her jeans hanging. She grabbed them with her hand and felt the still damp cloth in her grasp. Her sniffles were loud and hard while they fought against her leaky nose.

Moving too quickly while trying to redress herself nearly caused Kate to topple over. She managed to catch herself on one of the branches and felt the tent shiver with her weight. She paused and prayed it wouldn't fall. The structure settled again and she let out a relieved breath. Destroying Jack's tent, and nearly falling out of it with her jeans tangled around her ankles was not a sight she wanted to grace upon the camp. However in the back of her mind, she knew that after the initial concern for her wellbeing, they would find it humorous and juicy. The males would also have had no problem with seeing her only in a tiny tank top and her panties.

Being found half dressed in Jack's tent would have caused a lot of whispers and most of the survivors to get the wrong idea, even if they knew she'd hurt herself last night. It wouldn't have bothered her if they thought she and Jack had been intimate with one another. She had wanted, and even hoped for it. Where would their conversation have lead had they not been interrupted, she wondered. Certainly somewhere that both exhilarated and frightened her. She was both afraid of and longing for Jack to admit he had feelings for her.

Although she had desperately craved for him to hold her and comfort her, she suspected Jack might never touch her. If he wanted her, he would be too noble, too heroic, to follow through. She cursed his morality. He'd probably have it in his head he was doing the right thing for her by leaving her alone.

But I don't want him too, she thought miserably while making a second attempt to get dressed. This time so that she satisfied her aching head and counter acted her slight disorientation, she carefully braced one hand on a support branch. She was partially bent over so that her other hand could guide her jeans up her legs. One knee bent as her foot lifted of the ground and she tugged the chilled fabric up to her thigh. The next pant leg followed and she felt triumphant once she was standing, the zipper closed and the waist button secured. Triumphant but silly. With a sense of trepidation, she realized that the simplest of tasks would be interrupted by dizzy spells for most of her day.

She found her shoes and socks, but didn't put them on. Her intentions were to stay on the beach all day and going barefoot was more comfortable in the sand. The feeling of the tiny grains between her toes reminded her of happier days from her child hood, spent being chased around the surf by her mother.

Kate left the shelter, slowly making her way out into the early morning light. The sky was over cast, a blanket of white and grey fluff floating like a high ceiling in the atmosphere. It made her happy that she didn't have to worry about a possible sunburn. Her stores of sun block were quickly diminishing. She was sure the Hatch had plenty, but she wasn't in the mood to head out into the woods. She probably would have collapsed half way there. Sawyer also had some, but she didn't feel like coaxing anything from his precious stash.

"Hey," Hurly said from a spot a short distance away. He was sitting in the sand, looking her way with a friendly smile. "Jack went to the Hatch," he offered.

Kate nodded carefully, and settled into the sand beside him. She wasn't sure how she felt about Jack running away so fast. It wounded her, that much was clear, but maybe it was a good thing. She needed to stop fooling herself where he was concerned. It would never happen.

"How's your head?"

She knew Hurly wasn't comfortable with silences, but it was obvious he was attempting to cmfort her. Her misery must have been evident on her face. That, or he was feeling lonely and dejected. She smiled a bit, lifting a hand to the small bandage covering the gash Jack had patched for her. "Oh it's great. I think I'll be bashing my head against rocks and trees more often."

The pair shared muted chuckles and smiles while they sat together, watching the clear turquoise water become foamy surf and curl onto the shore.

Jack and Charlie tredged through the jungle slowly. A way has been cleared because of the comings and goings from the hatch to the beach and vice versa. But it seemed that the island didn't want any intrusions upon its bodice, for the plants and vines always took back any signs of humans passing through within days. It has been quite some time since the crash now, and though noone admitted it, most of them had secretly given up hope of being rescued.

Jack hadn't told anyone that they had been flying off course, and that no one knew where they were before the crash. He had hoped that with all the modern technology and satellite imagery it would take but a week to get them off here. But he had been wrong, and now Jack was more interested in keeping them all alive long enough for someone to find them, though it may be years before they do.

Finding the hatch had been quite a surprise for him. It proved that the island was inhabited, or had been inhabited by other humans before them. They had even created proper structures like the hatch, so it was apparent that they had lived here for quite some time. But he had no answers, only more questions after being inside it.

His mind wandered off to last night, and the image of Kate inadverantly sprung in his mind. He rememberd running the towel over her smooth legs, and the memory made the hair on his hand stand up. But he has to respect her choice. She had chosen the southerner and that was it. Although Jack was trying hard to come to terms with it he was still having trouble accepting it. Hadn't she kissed him in the jungle ? He was sure she had felt the spark in that kiss too ? Or was he just deluding himself ? Jack needed to get away from her for a while, at least until he could accept the two of them, Sawyer and Kate, were going to be together now.

Charlie was lost in his own thoughts, thinking about Claire and Aron. He had no clue what he had done to offend her. He had fallen for her, and made no attempt to hide it. But Claire kept pushing him away. And even when eventually he had been allowed close to her, he always had the feeling that she thought of him just as her friend. Charlie was happy to wait though, and he hadn't pushed her in any way.

Eventually, when they were halfway to the hatch, Jack broke the silence, " So..what's happening between you and Claire, Charlie ? She looked upset with you. Had a fight ?". Charlie didn't know the answer himself, so he decided to reverse the question and grinned before replying, " Nothin mate. Absolutely nothing has been happening between me an' her. And nothing at all like what you an' Kate been up to. "

Jack blushed but did not correct him. What would be the use ? And a small part of him was also glad that he would think that way. Now that Jack knew it would never happen between him and Kate, thinking that other people believed it did gave him a weird satisfaction. And when Kate and Sawyer would walk hand in hand on the beach, this ruse would be up too.

" You know Charlie, you should tell her how you feel. It would help, trust me. " . Even as Jack said it he realised how hypocritical he sounded. He had never told Kate how he had felt, even though she had taken the initiative once and kissed him. And here he was telling Charlie to confess his feelings. But maybe Charlie was stronger than him.

Charlie seemed to have caught the vibe coming from Jack and just remained silent. Even though Hugo liked to believe so, Charlie knew better. He knew that Jack and Kate hadn't slept together yet. Or he doubted it at the least. Jack was too considerate to take advantage if her when she was injured and lightheaded. And even though it won't be so, Jack would be convinced it was. And Charlie wasn't an eternal optimist like Hurley. He knew how hard it was to confess their love to someone else. The fear of rejection keeps them at bay.

Hurley on the other hand had just lost his only love on the island. Taken away in the most cruel manner when they had just found each other. Charlie didn't know what was worse, loosing someone you loved to eternal sleep or loosing them to someone else. He had often thought it was the latter, and he had seen the glances Jack kept throwing Kate and Sawyer when they were talking or doing something else together.

They walked the rest of the way in silence. Soon they were upon the hatch.....

As Sawyer attempted to lift his arm, testing how it moved after having been pierced by a gunshot within the last weak, he felt pain pierce him like shards of tiny glass. He made a growling sound deep in his throat as quietly as possible. He didn’t want any of his fellow castaways to see his weakness. Though the wound and following infection had been serious and almost claimed his life, he didn’t want any sympathy or anyone nosing into his business. He was still feeling surly after the hellish trip across the Island with that bitch Ana Lucia. The fact she’d been a cop mattered little to him. Who had parted the clouds and told her to play God? His dark thoughts were made no better remembering that he'd learned of Shannon's funeral, and that the Latina woman had accidentally killed the young blond. It was a damn shame, not only because Shannon had been attractive and leggy, earning his nick name of sticks, but she had finally begun to open up and be less snobby. He had certainly enjoyed giving the young blond a rough time and seeing her nostril flare with annoyance.

He grimaced again as he tightened his fist and felt that it was stiff and uncomfortable. He couldn’t wait for the wound in his arm to fully close and allow him the use of his limb again. It currently hung by his side, useless and weak. The only thing that brightened his mood were thoughts of Kate and how two days earlier she had helped him walk from the structure Locke had dubbed The Hatch. She’d allowed him to lean on her, arm draped around her shoulders as they walked. He had tried not to be too eager for the contact, but he had enjoyed her closeness and the feeling of her slim, firm body next to his. The scent of something flowery had found its way to his nostrils from her curly, dark hair. He could still imagine the fragrance as if she were right there in his tent at that very moment. The simple memory of her being so close to him made the organ between his legs stir slightly.

He silently thanked whatever God there was above for that strange bunker and the shower it contained. Kate had been clean and fresh, something he wasn’t used to since the crash. However, it wasn’t that seeing her sweaty and dirt streaked wasn’t just as arousing for him. Her messy appearance affected his body more deeply than the scent of any botanical shampoo could. She was petite but muscular, and a tough little warrior from what he’d witnessed lately. Her mixture of vulnerability and shear daring was impressive to him. He’d never been drawn to complexity – conning women out of their husband’s money had been a full time job for him and he hadn’t liked taking the time to figure them out. He normally didn’t stay long enough to become deeply involved. But Kate… she had so many secrets left for him to discover and he found himself wanting to learn them all.

He knew that she and the doc had been really close from the first day of the crash. He’d even teased her multiple times about how she went weak in the knees for Jack. Now the idea of her fawning over their leader made his insides churn with jealousy. He tried to calm his temper and clear the images of Kate and Jack flirting with one another from his mind.

Sawyer felt that Kate had really been warming up to him lately and that he might have a chance to dig himself deeper into her affections. He smiled at the notion. However his smile faded when his eyes caught sight of Kate leaving Jack’s tent. "Son of a..." the southern man muttered. He felt the jealousy beginning to take hold once more and wished he’d paid more attention to the movements outside of Jack’s tent earlier. He wasn’t acutely tuned in to anyone else’s outline other than Kate’s. No other person on the beach held his attention from a distance. He was always very aware of her when she was in the vicinity.

He glanced quickly around, searching for Jack. He caught sight of the tall doctor striding across the beach and towards the tree-line with Charlie by his side. Partial relief washed over him, but he was still suspicious of why Kate was leaving Jack’s tent so early in the morning. He’d barely seen her yesterday… and slowly he realized Jack hadn’t been around much either. His envious mind quickly created a visual of the pair alone together, hiding from prying eyes while they –

He stopped himself there. The idea of Kate naked with anyone other than himself made his blood simmer.

He closely watched the fugitive as she planted herself in the sand next to Hurly. He wanted to rush over and demand to know what she’d been doing with Jack, but confronting her in front of Hugo wasn’t the most desirable option. Sawyer still coveted his privacy, but he was coveting Kate more at the moment. He lifted himself from the former airplane seat and approached the odd mix of a tiny fugitive and large lottery winner chatting together. He ignored everyone else, not that many of them were keen to get in his way since they knew his arm pain was making him even crankier than usual. His jaw set with determination and he mentally told himself he needed to calm down. If he wanted to win her away from Jack, yelling at her wouldn’t do him any good. He needed to win points, not lose them.