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Old 03-30-2015, 11:26 PM   #1
Mike_Yates
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Jesus turned a guy into a kid?

Someone told me a story about how Jesus was being sassed and bullied by some punk so he turned him into a kid.

Any truth to this?
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Old 03-30-2015, 11:39 PM   #2
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I dunno, I never met that guy, though it seems potentially plausible if you consider the holy super powers as a decisive factual factor.
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Old Yesterday, 03:24 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike_Yates View Post
Someone told me a story about how Jesus was being sassed and bullied by some punk so he turned him into a kid.

Any truth to this?


So when you met jesus, why did you sass and bully him?
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Old Yesterday, 03:26 AM   #4
DesEsseintes
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike_Yates View Post
Someone told me a story about how Jesus was being sassed and bullied by some punk so he turned him into a kid.

Any truth to this?
Worst garbled version of Pinocchio ever.
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Old Yesterday, 08:19 AM   #5
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I think you are thinking of the Gospel of Thomas.

Quote:
IV. 1 After that again he went through the village, and a child ran and dashed against his shoulder. And Jesus was provoked and said unto him: Thou shalt not finish thy course (lit. go all thy way). And immediately he fell down and died. But certain when they saw what was done said: Whence was this young child born, for that every word of his is an accomplished work? And the parents of him that was dead came unto Joseph, and blamed him, saying: Thou that hast such a child canst not dwell with us in the village: or do thou teach him to bless and not to curse: for he slayeth our children.

V. 1 And Joseph called the young child apart and admonished him, saying: Wherefore doest thou such things, that these suffer and hate us and persecute us? But Jesus said: I know that these thy words are not thine: nevertheless for thy sake I will hold my peace: but they shall bear their punishment. And straightway they that accused him were smitten with blindness. 2 And they that saw it were sore afraid and perplexed, and said concerning him that every word which he spake whether it were good or bad, was a deed, and became a marvel. And when they (he ?) saw that Jesus had so done, Joseph arose and took hold upon his ear and wrung it sore. 3 And the young child was wroth and said unto him: It sufficeth thee (or them) to seek and not to find, and verily thou hast done unwisely: knowest thou not that I am thine? vex me not.
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Old Yesterday, 08:20 AM   #6
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No he turned a gay onto a kid...


(not a gay slander, a priest joke, in the secular liberal orthodoxy, the former is verboten, but the latter is celebrated)
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Old Today, 02:52 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MNGuy View Post
I think you are thinking of the Gospel of Thomas.

Quote:
IV. 1 After that again he went through the village, and a child ran and dashed against his shoulder. And Jesus was provoked and said unto him: Thou shalt not finish thy course (lit. go all thy way). And immediately he fell down and died. But certain when they saw what was done said: Whence was this young child born, for that every word of his is an accomplished work? And the parents of him that was dead came unto Joseph, and blamed him, saying: Thou that hast such a child canst not dwell with us in the village: or do thou teach him to bless and not to curse: for he slayeth our children.

V. 1 And Joseph called the young child apart and admonished him, saying: Wherefore doest thou such things, that these suffer and hate us and persecute us? But Jesus said: I know that these thy words are not thine: nevertheless for thy sake I will hold my peace: but they shall bear their punishment. And straightway they that accused him were smitten with blindness. 2 And they that saw it were sore afraid and perplexed, and said concerning him that every word which he spake whether it were good or bad, was a deed, and became a marvel. And when they (he ?) saw that Jesus had so done, Joseph arose and took hold upon his ear and wrung it sore. 3 And the young child was wroth and said unto him: It sufficeth thee (or them) to seek and not to find, and verily thou hast done unwisely: knowest thou not that I am thine? vex me not.
Well, I think we can see why that didn't quite make it into the canon.
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Old Today, 05:26 AM   #8
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Quote:
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Well, I think we can see why that didn't quite make it into the canon.
Quite. Jesus: Too Hot for KJV!
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