Old 05-19-2010, 06:19 PM   #5926
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Some of the most unlikely lines to ever hear in a Hollywood movie:

"Nemo, where the FUCK have you been?"

"Did you find Narnia in the wardrobe? No Edmond, we found your porn stash."


Also, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-3qncy5Qfk
It's a classic.
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Hear my call. We rule the nights, alone or with our sisters. We are the primal, the loyal and the fierce.
We are the Lupine
 

Old 05-19-2010, 10:13 PM   #5927
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Landing Announcement

The jumbo jet is just coming into Pearson Airport in Toronto on its final approach.

The pilot comes on over the intercom and says, "Ladies and gentlemen. This is Capt. Johnson speaking. We're on our final descent into Toronto. I want to thank you for flying with us today, and I hope you enjoy your stay in Toronto."

Unknowingly, the pilot forgets to switch off the intercom and the entire plane can now hear the conversation in the cockpit.

The co-pilot says to the pilot, "Well, Captain, what are you gonna do here in Toronto?"

By now, all ears in the plane are listening in to this conversation.

"Well," says the Captain, "First, I'm gonna check into the hotel and take a nice, long crap. Then I'm gonna take that new stewardess out for supper. You know, the cute one with the huge tits. I'm gonna wine and dine her, then take her back to my room, and then I'm gonna make love to her all night long."

Everyone in the plane is trying to get a look at the new stewardess.

She's so embarrassed, she runs from the back of the plane to get to the cockpit to turn the intercom off.

Halfway down the aisle, she trips over an old lady's bag and down she goes, flat on her face.

The old lady leans over to her and says calmly, "No need to run, dear. He said he's gotta take a shit first!"
 

Old 05-20-2010, 09:29 PM   #5928
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Dr. Chang's Diagnosis

A woman was very distraught over the fact that she had not had a date or any sex for over 5 years. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of the well known Chinese Sex Therapist, Dr. Chang.

Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, "OK, take off all your crose."

The woman did as she was told.

"Now, get down and craw reery, reery fass to odderside of room."

Again the woman did as she was instructed.

Dr. Chang then said, "OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me."

As she did, Dr. Chang shook his head slowly. "Your problem vewy bad. You haf Ed Zachary Disease. Worse case I ever see. Dat why you not half sex or dates."

The woman asked anxiously, "Oh my God, Dr. Chang, what is Ed Zachary Disease?"

Dr. Chang sighed deeply and replied, "Ed Zachary Disease is when your face look Ed Zachary like your ass.
 

Old 05-20-2010, 09:34 PM   #5929
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Before Hugh Laurie was House
 

Old 05-21-2010, 02:59 PM   #5930
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The President on Chatroulette!
 

Old 05-21-2010, 07:21 PM   #5931
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A Harley Biker

A Harley biker is riding by the zoo in Washington , DC when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents.

The biker jumps off his Harley, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch.
Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly. A reporter has watched the whole event.

The reporter addressing the Harley rider says, 'Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I've seen a man do in my whole life.'

The Harley rider replies, 'Why, it was nothing, really, the lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger and acted as I felt right.'

The reporter says, 'Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a journalist, you know, and tomorrow's paper will have this story on the front page... So, what do you do for a living and what political affiliation do you have?'

The biker replies, 'I'm a U.S. Marine and a Republican.' The journalist leaves.

The following morning the biker buys the paper to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads, on the front page:

U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS AFRICAN
IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH

That pretty much sums up the media's approach to the news these days.
 

Old 05-21-2010, 11:22 PM   #5932
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Back To The Hole

A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy finds an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole." The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole."

The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hairspray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. Then he puts the worm back into the hole.

The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hairspray, and runs into the house. Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and hands the little boy another five dollars. The little boy says,

"Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars."

The grandfather replies, "I know. That's from your grandma "
 

Old 05-22-2010, 03:41 PM   #5933
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Rye Bread is the Secret

Two old guys, one 83 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning. The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath.

The 83 year old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy. The 87 year old said, "Well, I eat rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."

So, on the way home, 83 year old stops at the bakery.. As he was looking around, the lady asked if he needed any help.

He said "Do you have any Rye bread?"

She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?"

He said, "I want 5 loaves."

She said, "My goodness, 5 loaves ... by the time you get to the 3rd loaf, it'll be hard"

He looked at her and replied, "I can't believe it, everybody knows about this but me.”
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" Earth Tremor on Stage ? "
" Charlie's Story "
http://www.literotica.com/stories/me...php?uid=883259
 

Old 05-22-2010, 11:51 PM   #5934
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Reid Harrison: Worst Magazine in the World

Hustler Magazine is probably the worst magazine in the world. You ever look at that thing? It's awful. You just get the impression that their motto is, 'We don't spend a whole lot of money on good looking women, and we pass the savings along to you.'


Cathy Ladman: Die While Making Love

I'd like to die while making love -- that'd be great -- but after the orgasm. It'd be terrible to die before the orgasm. I'd be up in heaven; people would be pointing at me: 'She looks so tense. Someone should send her back for, like, an hour.'
 

Old 05-23-2010, 04:12 AM   #5935
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http://globaleconomicanalysis.blogsp...-security.html
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3.11 Fukushima nuke blow up was false flag operation?
A must read:
http://www.jimstonefreelance.com/fukushima.html
 

Old 05-23-2010, 11:35 PM   #5936
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The Ultimate Guy Quiz

Scoring is at the end of the quiz. There are no right or wrong answers.

1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:

a) lovemaking
b) screwing
c) the pigskin bus pulling into tuna town

2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:

a) your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
b) your blood-test results
c) five tequila slammers

3. You time your orgasm so that:

a) your partner climaxes first
b) you both climax simultaneously
c) you don't miss SportsCenter

4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:

a) healthy, creative love-play
b) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend could ever agree to
c) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about

5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:

a) the best part of the experience
b) the second best part of the experience
c) $100 extra

6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is:

a) impossible - she looks too gorgeous!
b) not a problem, she can join your gym
c) a conservative estimate

7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:

a) a myth
b) an oxymoron
c) a moron

8. Foreplay is to sex as:

a) appetizer is to entree
b) primer is to paint
c) a line is to an amusement park ride

9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?

a) "I hope we can still be friends."
b) "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
c) "Welcome to Dumpsville, population, YOU."

10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:

a) probably needs more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy
b) is uptight and a waste of time
c) shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place


Score 1 point for every answer "a"
Score 2 points for every answer "b"
Score 3 points for every answer "c"


Your Score

10 points: You are a saint, a liar, or a eunuch.
11-20 points: You are an average joe. Good luck in the battle of the sexes.
21-30 points: You are a real man's man. Your fear of intimacy with women and your love of men's sports screams latent homosexuality. You need a nice she-male dominatrix to teach you respect.
31-40 You can't add.
 

Old 05-24-2010, 10:04 PM   #5937
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The Leper and the Prostitute
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
"Keep the tip."

Damn, that one ws bad.


Fathead goes for ice cream

A guy walks into an ice cream shop with his wife and son.
He says, "I'll have a chocolate cone."
The wife says, "I'll have a vanilla cone."
Then the guy slaps the back of his son's head and says, "What do you want, fathead?"
The lady behind the counter says, "Why did you smack your kid and call him fathead?"
The father says, "There are three things in life a man wants. The first is a nice big truck. You see that big truck sitting out there? That's mine. The second thing a man wants in life is a nice big house. You see that nice big house on top of the hill on the edge of town? That's mine. The third thing a man wants in life is a nice tight pussy. And I had that, until fathead came along.
 

Old 05-24-2010, 10:40 PM   #5938
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Q. What's the definition of a tiger?

A. A pussy that eats you.


Q. What are the first words Adam said to Eve?

A. Stand back, I don't know how big this thing gets.


Q. What's blue and comes in brownies?

A. Cub Scouts.


Q. What do you get when you cross a rooster with peanut butter?

A. A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth.


Q. What's brown and has holes in it?

A. Swiss shit.


Q. What's the difference between a hog and a man?

A. A hog doesn't have to sit in a bar all night buying drinks to fuck some pig.


Q. What's the difference between a gay rodeo and a straight rodeo?

A. At the straight rodeo they holler "Ride that sucker!"


Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up in the morning?

A. They don't have balls to scratch.


Q. How do you make a baby float?

A. A glass of root beer and two scoops of baby.


Q. What's the difference between mono and herpes?

A. You get mono from snatching a kiss.


Q. What's the last thing on a bug's mind when it hits your windshield?

A. It's asshole.
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I used to be disgusted, now I'm just amused.

Never be led astray into the paths of virtue.

Artists are misunderstood. Not by people, but by themselves.

Life is but active anguish in a context of flux.

"Popularity is not whether people like you, it's how many people would like you to like them." Anon.

"Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company." Mark Twain (Samuel L. Clemens)

"Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret." Ambrose Bierce

"When my ugly ol' car won't climb the hill, I'll write a suicide note on a hundred dollar bill." 'Heavy Fuel' Dire Straits

"I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints, the sinners are much more fun ..." 'Only the Good Die Young' Billy Joel

TE's stories: http://www.literotica.com/stories/me...ge=submissions
 

Old 05-25-2010, 09:22 AM   #5939
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Forgive me if this is impolite, but -


Top 10 reasons why there are no black NASCAR drivers:

# 10 - Have to sit upright while driving.
# 9 - Pistol won't stay under front seat.
# 8 - Engine noise drowns out the rap music.
# 7 - Pit crew can 't work on car while holding up pants at the same time.
# 6 - They keep trying to carjack Dale Earnhardt Jr.
# 5 - Police cars on track interfere with race.
# 4 - No passenger seat for the Ho.
# 3 - No Cadillac’s approved for competition.
# 2 - When they crash their cars, they bail out & run.


AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON WHY BLACKS CAN'T BE IN NASCAR...


# 1 - They Can't wear their helmets sideways.
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"Incident at Cemetery Junction"
"Pest Control"
"Mavis's Car Trip"
"Norman-the-dragon "
"Stacy & the Angel "
" Earth Tremor on Stage ? "
" Charlie's Story "
http://www.literotica.com/stories/me...php?uid=883259
 

Old 05-25-2010, 11:06 PM   #5940
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Tarzan went to the river...

Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath. Tarzan removed his clothes. All the animals laughed. Tarzan asked "Why"?

The animals told him..........."Your tail is in the front"...
 

Old 05-25-2010, 11:06 PM   #5941
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He Said She Said

He said.. I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.

She said..You wear briefs, don't you

He said.. Do you love me just because my father left me a fortune?

She said.. Not at all honey, I would love you no matter who left you the money.

She said.. What do you mean by coming home half drunk?

He said.. It's not my fault.. I ran out of money.

He said.. Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you in the worst way.

She said.. Well, you succeeded.

He said.. What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you

She said.. Turn sideways and look in the mirror.

He said.. Let's go out and have some fun tonight.

She said.. Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.

He said.. Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm?

She said.. I would, but you're never there.

He said.. Shall we try a different position tonight?

She said.. That's a good idea, you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.
 

Old 05-26-2010, 05:27 PM   #5942
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This had me roaring with laughter:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iGZSvdSsoAE
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"Incident at Cemetery Junction"
"Pest Control"
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"Norman-the-dragon "
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" Charlie's Story "
http://www.literotica.com/stories/me...php?uid=883259
 

Old 05-26-2010, 11:47 PM   #5943
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Charitable Donation

A local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.

"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"

The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"

Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um...no."

"--or that mybrother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"

The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology but was interrupted,

"--or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!"

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..."

On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again: "--so if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?!?"
 

Old 05-26-2010, 11:48 PM   #5944
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Q. What's an Australian kiss?
A. The same thing as a French kiss, only down under!



What thing is similar to a period?
Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5-7 days and if it doesn't come means you are in big trouble.
 

Old 05-27-2010, 06:47 AM   #5945
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Revenge of an Englishman

An English ventriloquist visiting Wales walks into a Small village and sees a local sitting on his veranda patting his dog.

He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the taff: 'Gooday, mind if I talk to your dog?'

Villager: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid English bastard.'

Ventriloquist: 'Hello dog, how's it going mate?'

Dog: 'Yeah, doin' all right.'

Taff: (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: 'Is this villager your owner?' (pointing at the Villager)

Dog: 'Yep'

Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?'

Dog: 'Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food And takes me to the lake once a week to play.'

Taff: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your horse?'

Taff: 'Uh, the horse doesn't talk either...I think.'

Ventriloquist: 'Hey horse, how's it going?'

Horse: 'Cool'

Taff: (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist: 'Is this your owner?' (Pointing at the villager)

Horse: 'Yep'

Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

Horse: 'Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, Brushes me down often and keeps me in the shed to protect me from the Elements.'

Taff: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your sheep?'

Taff: (in a panic) 'The sheep's a liar……'
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"Norman-the-dragon "
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" Earth Tremor on Stage ? "
" Charlie's Story "
http://www.literotica.com/stories/me...php?uid=883259
 

Old 05-27-2010, 06:51 AM   #5946
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An young lady American news reporter asks an Irishman:

"Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"

To which the Irishman replies:
"If they fell forwards, they'd still be in the fuckin’ boat."
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Old 05-27-2010, 09:45 AM   #5947
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This is worth reading!!
And remembering!!

This is a wonderful piece by Michael Gartner, editor of newspapers large and small. In 1997, he won the Pulitzer Prize for editorial writing. It is well worth reading, and a few good chuckles are guaranteed. Here goes:

My father never drove a car. Well, that's not quite right. I should say I never saw him drive a car.

He quit driving in 1927, when he was 25 years old, and the last car he drove was a 1926 Whippet.

"In those days," he told me when he was in his 90s, "to drive a car you had to do things with your hands, and do things with your feet, and look every which way, and I decided you could walk through life and enjoy it or drive through life and miss it."

At which point my mother, a sometimes salty Irishwoman, chimed in:
"Oh, bull----!" she said. "He hit a horse."

"Well," my father said, "there was that, too."

So my brother and I grew up in a household without a car. The neighbors all had cars -- the Kollingses next door had a green 1941 Dodge, the VanLaninghams across the street a gray 1936 Plymouth, the Hopsons two doors down a black 1941 Ford -- but we had none.

My father, a newspaperman in Des Moines , would take the streetcar to work and, often as not, walk the 3 miles home. If he took the streetcar home, my mother and brother and I would walk the three blocks to the streetcar stop, meet him and walk home together.

My brother, David, was born in 1935, and I was born in 1938, and sometimes, at dinner, we'd ask how come all the neighbors had cars but we had none. "No one in the family drives," my mother would explain, and that was that.

But, sometimes, my father would say, "But as soon as one of you boys turns 16, we'll get one." It was as if he wasn't sure which one of us would turn 16 first.

But, sure enough , my brother turned 16 before I did, so in 1951 my parents bought a used 1950 Chevrolet from a friend who ran the parts department at a Chevy dealership downtown.

It was a four-door, white model, stick shift, fender skirts, loaded with everything, and, since my parents didn't drive, it more or less became my brother's car.

Having a car but not being able to drive didn't bother my father, but it didn't make sense to my mother.

So in 1952, when she was 43 years old, she asked a friend to teach her to drive. She learned in a nearby cemetery, the place where I learned to drive the following year and where, a generation later, I took my two sons to practice driving. The cemetery probably was my father's idea. "Who can your mother hurt in the cemetery?" I remember him saying more than once.

For the next 45 years or so, until she was 90, my mother was the driver in the family. Neither she nor my father had any sense of direction, but he loaded up on maps -- though they seldom left the city limits -- and appointed himself navigator. It seemed to work.

Still, they both continued to walk a lot. My mother was a devout Catholic, and my father an equally devout agnostic, an arrangement that didn't seem to bother either of them through their 75 years of marriage.

(Yes, 75 years, and they were deeply in love the entire time.)

He retired when he was 70, and nearly every morning for the next 20 years or so, he would walk with her the mile to St. Augustin's Church. She would walk down and sit in the front pew, and he would wait in the back until he saw which of the parish's two priests was on duty that morning. If it was the pastor, my father then would go out and take a 2-mile walk, meeting my mother at the end of the service and walking her home.

If it was the assistant pastor, he'd take just a 1-mile walk and then head back to the church. He called the priests "Father Fast" and "Father Slow."

After he retired, my father almost always accompanied my mother whenever she drove anywhere, even if he had no reason to go along. If she were going to the beauty parlor, he'd sit in the car and read, or go take a stroll or, if it was summer, have her keep the engine running so he could listen to the Cubs game on the radio. In the evening, then, when I'd stop by, he'd explain: "The Cubs lost again. The millionaire on second base made a bad throw to the millionaire on first base, so the multimillionaire on third base scored."

If she were going to the grocery store, he would go along to carry the bags out -- and to make sure she loaded up on ice cream. As I said, he was always the navigator, and once, when he was 95 and she was 88 and still driving, he said to me, "Do you want to know the secret of a long life?"

"I guess so," I said, knowing it probably would be something bizarre.

"No left turns," he said.

"What?" I asked.

"No left turns," he repeated. "Several years ago, your mother and I read an article that said most accidents that old people are in happen when they turn left in front of oncoming traffic.

As you get older, your eyesight worsens, and you can lose your depth perception, it said. So your mother and I decided never again to make a left turn."

"What?" I said again.

"No left turns," he said. "Think about it. Three rights are the same as a left, and that's a lot safer. So we always make three rights."

"You're kidding!" I said, and I turned to my mother for support.
"No," she said, "your father is right. We make three rights. It works."
But then she added: "Except when your father loses count."

I was driving at the time, and I almost drove off the road as I started laughing.

"Loses count?" I asked.

"Yes," my father admitted, "that sometimes happens. But it's not a problem. You just make seven rights, and you're okay again."

I couldn't resist. "Do you ever go for 11?" I asked.

"No," he said " If we miss it at seven, we just come home and call it a bad day. Besides, nothing in life is so important it can't be put off another day or another week."

My mother was never in an accident, but one evening she handed me her car keys and said she had decided to quit driving. That was in 1999, when she was 90. She lived four more years, until 2003. My father died the next year, at 102.

They both died in the bungalow they had moved into in 1937 and bought a few years later for $3,000. (Sixty years later, my brother and I paid $8,000 to have a shower put in the tiny bathroom -- the house had never had one. My father would have died then and there if he knew the shower cost nearly three times what he paid for the house.)

He continued to walk daily -- he had me get him a treadmill when he was 101 because he was afraid he'd fall on the icy sidewalks but wanted to keep exercising -- and he was of sound mind and sound body until the moment he died.

One September afternoon in 2004, he and my son went with me when I had to give a talk in a neighboring town, and it was clear to all three of us that he was wearing out, though we had the usual wide-ranging conversation about politics and newspapers and things in the news.

A few weeks earlier, he had told my son, "You know, Mike, the first hundred years are a lot easier than the second hundred." At one point in our drive that Saturday, he said, "You know, I'm probably not going to live much longer."

"You're probably right," I said.

"Why would you say that?" He countered, somewhat irritated.

"Because you're 102 years old," I said..

"Yes," he said, "you're right." He stayed in bed all the next day.

That night, I suggested to my son and daughter that we sit up with him through the night. He appreciated it, he said, though at one point, apparently seeing us look gloomy, he said:
"I would like to make an announcement. No one in this room is dead yet"

An hour or so later, he spoke his last words:

"I want you to know," he said, clearly and lucidly, "that I am in no pain. I am very comfortable. And I have had as happy a life as anyone on this earth could ever have."

A short time later, he died.

I miss him a lot, and I think about him a lot. I've wondered now and then how it was that my family and I were so lucky that he lived so long.

I can't figure out if it was because he walked through life,
Or because he quit taking left turns. "
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Old 05-27-2010, 11:48 PM   #5948
DG Hear
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How to name a baby...?

A pregnant woman gets into a deep sleep after giving birth. Asleep for nearly 2 days, she wakes up and ask doctor:
- How is my baby?
- Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them.
- The woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother, he's an idiot!". Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor: - Well, what's the girl's name?
- Denise, the doctor says.
- The new mother thinks: "Wow, that's not a bad name! Guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise!". Then she asks the doctor: - What's the boy's name?
- DeNephew...
 

Old 05-27-2010, 11:50 PM   #5949
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Our Stupid Apartments On Fire!

Two blondes realize that their apartment is on fire and go out onto the balcony.

"Help, help!" yells one of the blondes.

"Help us, help us!" yells the other.

"Maybe it would help if we yelled together," said the first blonde.

"Good idea," said the other.

"Together, together!"
 

Old 05-28-2010, 03:29 AM   #5950
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Another cribbed without edits from Arcamax comics:

Ole and Clarence
Ole lived across River from Clarence who he didn't like at all. They all the time were yelling across the river at each other.

Ole would yell to Clarence, "If I had a vay to cross dis river, I'd come over dere an beat you up good, yeah sure ya betcha by golly!"

This went on for years. Finally the state built a bridge across the river right there by their houses.

Ole's wife, Lena, says, "Now is you chance, Ole, vhy don't you go over dere and beat up dat Clarence like you said you volud?"

Ole says, "OK, by yimmy I tink I vill do yust dat" Ole started for the bridge but he sees a sign on the bridge an he stops to read it, then he turns around and comes back home.

Lena asked, "vhy did you come back?"

Ole said, "Lena, I tink I change my mind 'bout beatin' up dat Clarence, you know, dey put a sign on da bridge dat says "Clarence is 13 ft. 6 in." You know, he don't look near dat big vhen I yell at him from across da river"


This news arrived on: 05/26/2005
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