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Old Today, 01:39 PM   #1
AMoveableBeast
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If you could sleep with one writer in history, whom would it be?

Let's hear it. If you could get inside the jacket cover of any author (for the purposes of this question, let's define this as someone who writes as his or her primary occupation), past or present, whom would you choose and why?

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Old Today, 01:54 PM   #2
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How about Jenna Jameson?
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Old Today, 01:55 PM   #3
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Define writer. Because if you're willing to include famous people who have written autobiographies, it's going to go haywire.

Keeping the true definition of writer, I'd say Dorothy Parker.

a) she looked hawt
b) the pillow talk would leave me rolling with laughter.
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Old Today, 01:56 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AMoveableBeast View Post
Let's hear it. If you could get inside the jacket cover of any author, past or present, whom would you choose and why?


EL James

I could care less she is frumpy looking I'd enjoy nothing more than showing her what real BDSM is and what a wuss of a bad boy her little friend Gray is.

If you're talking biographies, Jenna Jameson for obvious reasons.
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Old Today, 01:59 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by LaRascasse View Post
Define writer. Because if you're willing to include famous people who have written autobiographies, it's going to go haywire.

Keeping the true definition of writer, I'd say Dorothy Parker.

a) she looked hawt
b) the pillow talk would leave me rolling with laughter.
Good call, LaRascasse. Also, an excellent choice. She would be right at the top of my list, as well. Plus, I like a good drink every now and then, usually now.
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Old Today, 02:09 PM   #6
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EL James

I could care less she is frumpy looking I'd enjoy nothing more than showing her what real BDSM is and what a wuss of a bad boy her little friend Gray is.

If you're talking biographies, Jenna Jameson for obvious reasons.
I'd enjoy showing her what real punctuation is. Less erotic, but equally as brutal.

As to Ms. Jameson, are we talking old Jenna or Jenna 2.0? Honestly, after the reboot Jenna looks a bit too futuristic for my tastes. She's become so angular. The last time I saw cheekbones that sharp they were on a Chevelle.
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Old Today, 02:22 PM   #7
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Gore Vidal
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Old Today, 02:32 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovecraft68 View Post
EL James

I could care less she is frumpy looking I'd enjoy nothing more than showing her what real BDSM is and what a wuss of a bad boy her little friend Gray is.

If you're talking biographies, Jenna Jameson for obvious reasons.
You have some serious issues here. You realize she didn't write that book just to piss you, specifically, off?

As for the OP, hmm, I'll have to ponder.
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Old Today, 02:38 PM   #9
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Gore Vidal
Another interesting pick, though, strictly speaking, if I were to sleep with a vitriolic pansexual, I think I'd be tempted to go with the original model: Oscar Wilde.

Now, if we are getting creative, a three-way with Vidal, Norman Mailer, and Truman Capote, well, that I would pay to attend. Whether you're gay, straight, or what have you, good drama is good drama. It would be like Mr. and Mrs. Smith, only with intelligible dialogue.
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Old Today, 02:47 PM   #11
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Laura Ingalls Wilder.... Who actually wasn't a bad looking chick for the day. My first inclination was JK Rowling , rich and good looks.......
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Old Today, 02:48 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by AMoveableBeast View Post
Another interesting pick, though, strictly speaking, if I were to sleep with a vitriolic pansexual, I think I'd be tempted to go with the original model: Oscar Wilde.

Now, if we are getting creative, a three-way with Vidal, Norman Mailer, and Truman Capote, well, that I would pay to attend. Whether you're gay, straight, or what have you, good drama is good drama. It would be like Mr. and Mrs. Smith, only with intelligible dialogue.
Gore Vidal was a whole lot better looking than Oscar Wilde was. Truman Capote very young, yes, except for the inconvenience of him being a bottom. Norman Mailer, well, sure.

Did Alexander the Great write anything?
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Old Today, 02:53 PM   #13
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Laura Ingalls Wilder.... Who actually wasn't a bad looking chick for the day. My first inclination was JK Rowling , rich and good looks.......
This made me laugh so hard, because, truthfully, who doesn't want to pound the pig-tails off of the girl whom they based "Little House on the Prairie" on?

See, answers like this are why I asked this question. Never in my life would I have answered Laura Ingalls. Fantastic.
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Old Today, 02:55 PM   #14
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Gore Vidal was a whole lot better looking than Oscar Wilde was. Truman Capote very young, yes, except for the inconvenience of him being a bottom. Norman Mailer, well, sure.

Did Alexander the Great write anything?
And sr71plt wept for there were no more dashing homosexual authors to bugger.

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Old Today, 02:57 PM   #15
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And sr71plt wept for there no more dashing homosexual authors to bugger.
Bullshit. There are more homosexual and bi authors than straight ones. Like being Jewish, its a mark of well above average talent and creativity.
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Old Today, 02:59 PM   #16
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This made me laugh so hard, because, truthfully, who doesn't want to pound the pig-tails off of the girl whom they based "Little House on the Prairie" on?

See, answers like this are why I asked this question. Never in my life would I have answered Laura Ingalls. Fantastic.
I almost made a reference about sticking it to "Half Pint," but thought "Nah that souds too pedo."
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Old Today, 03:11 PM   #17
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Bullshit. There are more homosexual and bi authors than straight ones. Like being Jewish, its a mark of well above average talent and creativity.
You may very well be right, especially if you count ones who are, as I like to say, "Hemingway-gay", meaning what happened in Paris during the 20's, stayed in Paris during the 20's. Except when it didn't, which was always.

Since we are bedding our way through literature's great gays, what would you think of romancing some of the more repressed representatives of the printed word, like, say, John Cheever? Think that would be worth a roll in the proverbial hay? I mean, on one hand all of that guilt and self-loathing coupled with such a mind and passion could result in an explosively delightful situation. Or, as is often the case, all of that uncertainty might translate into the wish-fuck version of an awkward high school make-out session under the school bleachers.
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Old Today, 03:14 PM   #18
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Elinor Glyn

A scene in Glyn's most sensational work, Three Weeks, inspired the doggerel:

Would you like to sin
With Elinor Glyn
On a tiger skin?
Or would you prefer
To err with her
On some other fur?

Glyn also makes an appearance in a 1927 Lorenz Hart song, "My Heart Stood Still" from One Dam Thing After Another:

I read my Plato
Love, I thought a sin
But since your kiss
I'm reading missus Glyn!
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Old Today, 03:20 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by jeanne_d_artois View Post
A scene in Glyn's most sensational work, Three Weeks, inspired the doggerel:

Would you like to sin
With Elinor Glyn
On a tiger skin?
Or would you prefer
To err with her
On some other fur?

Glyn also makes an appearance in a 1927 Lorenz Hart song, "My Heart Stood Still" from One Dam Thing After Another:

I read my Plato
Love, I thought a sin
But since your kiss
I'm reading missus Glyn!
Hmmm. I am unfamiliar. She seems like a fun selection, however.
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Old Today, 03:20 PM   #20
sr71plt
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Originally Posted by AMoveableBeast View Post
You may very well be right, especially if you count ones who are, as I like to say, "Hemingway-gay", meaning what happened in Paris during the 20's, stayed in Paris during the 20's. Except when it didn't, which was always.

Since we are bedding our way through literature's great gays, what would you think of romancing some of the more repressed representatives of the printed word, like, say, John Cheever? Think that would be worth a roll in the proverbial hay? I mean, on one hand all of that guilt and self-loathing coupled with such a mind and passion could result in an explosively delightful situation. Or, as is often the case, all of that uncertainty might translate into the wish-fuck version of an awkward high school make-out session under the school bleachers.
Take your pick:

http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?...nower#mw-pages

There are only 951 listed here and not even some of the ones I know of.

I forgot to mention Tennessee Williams

I actually always wondered about Hemingway. I have stories here ("The Photograph," the novel "Wolf Creek") that deal with a takeoff on Hemingway as at least bi. "The Photograph" is actually a haunting of mine. Hemingway hunted from my grandmother's celebrity dude ranch and my father, as a teen, went out with him. I have a photograph of Hemingway with a really rather possessive arm around my father that I've always wondered about--and extrapolated from in some of my writings. ("Wolf Creek" is a takeoff on the ranch and other celebrities I knew of there: Dashiell Hammett, Lillian Hellman, Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Henry Ford, J.C. Penny . . .)

The Hemingway I remember was much too old and grizzly to be of sexual interest (and I had no such interests at the time).
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Old Today, 03:52 PM   #21
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Take your pick:

http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?...nower#mw-pages

There are only 951 listed here and not even some of the ones I know of.

I forgot to mention Tennessee Williams

I actually always wondered about Hemingway. I have stories here ("The Photograph," the novel "Wolf Creek") that deal with a takeoff on Hemingway as at least bi. "The Photograph" is actually a haunting of mine. Hemingway hunted from my grandmother's celebrity dude ranch and my father, as a teen, went out with him. I have a photograph of Hemingway with a really rather possessive arm around my father that I've always wondered about--and extrapolated from in some of my writings. ("Wolf Creek" is a takeoff on the ranch and other celebrities I knew of there: Dashiell Hammett, Lillian Hellman, Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Henry Ford, J.C. Penny . . .)

The Hemingway I remember was much too old and grizzly to be of sexual interest (and I had no such interests at the time).
Hemingway is very wonder worthy, even to himself, I think. He is the epitome of the macho writer, and he plays it to the hilt. He is among authors what Teddy Roosevelt is among presidents, this glaring abnormality, a strapping, mustached, big game-hunting, bull-fighting, anti-nerd jutting up from a sea of, well, bookish types. He talks about this early in his career, attempts to set himself apart what he considers "weaker writers" awash in "sexual confusion" and "bleeding androgyny". Yet later in life, and especially posthumously (The Garden of Eden, A Moveable Feast--from which I draw my nickname on here), we begin to see a side of Hemingway that is, sexually at least, more apologetic, more confused, sometimes even downright--gasp--intimidated. Along with some unsubstantiated claims of Hemingway older life having some scenes out of "Old Man and the Queens", it begs the question: was old Ernest perhaps history's greatest over-compensator? Wouldn't it be so poetic if the man with no use for cliches, poetry, or irony ended up living a life filled with all three? He is truly a fascinating individual.

On another note, this celebrity dude ranch of yours seems amazing. What an interesting chapter of family history, no? Very cool.
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Old Today, 04:02 PM   #22
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James Michener's basic research (or, rather, putting the research of others together) for Centennial came from his stays at the ranch and led to me doing some research for him (mainly on Chesapeake and some of two Alaska novels). My grandmother typed early drafts of Centennial.

Nothing gay about Michener.
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Old Today, 04:06 PM   #23
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Jhumpa Lahiri would be high on my list.
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Old Today, 04:10 PM   #24
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Jhumpa Lahiri would be high on my list.
Wow. A real beauty. Is the attraction just for her (obvious) physical attractiveness, or is there more?
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Old Today, 04:12 PM   #25
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Lord John Wilmot Rochester.

Also, Arpha Behn.
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