Warning - Do not stick butter up your ass

Ran out of Lube. Now I have the shits.

BTW if you do use butter make sure its unsalted. I feel like somebody stuck industrial grade sandpaper up my ass.

That'll teach you.

That reminds me, put Tabasco in your used condoms after you take them off.

Absolute_Kaos said:

Ran out of Lube. Now I have the shits.

BTW if you do use butter make sure its unsalted. I feel like somebody stuck industrial grade sandpaper up my ass.

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Oh no........... you didn't.

Did you really?

Where were you when Mewfie needed you this morning?

Absolute_Kaos said:

Ran out of Lube. Now I have the shits.

BTW if you do use butter make sure its unsalted. I feel like somebody stuck industrial grade sandpaper up my ass.

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doyouwantfrieswiththat?

olive oil.

sheesh! have you no class?

I hope MWF knew this this morning.

dolf said:

olive oil.

sheesh! have you no class?

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That usually pisses Popyeye off when he finds out.

dolf said:

olive oil.

sheesh! have you no class?

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I doubt you use virgin olive oil you tawdry slut.

Absolute_Kaos said:

I doubt you use virgin olive oil you tawdry slut.

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always.

ShamelessFlirt said:

That usually pisses Popyeye off when he finds out.

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head first or feet first?

If it wasn't meant to go in your ass it wouldn't be named butter.

dolf said:

head first or feet first?

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Head of course. With her nose any other way would be a crime.

You know how people do wine enemas and stuff, and get drunk? I wonder what would happen if they used coffee instead.

bluntforcemama said:

You know how people do wine enemas and stuff, and get drunk? I wonder what would happen if they used coffee instead.

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At the very least evacuation would be more rapid. I mean.. just drinking coffee loosens me up.

bluntforcemama said:

You know how people do wine enemas and stuff, and get drunk? I wonder what would happen if they used coffee instead.

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Actually they do ...

http://www.ineedcoffee.com/01/01/enema/

bluntforcemama said:

You know how people do wine enemas and stuff, and get drunk? I wonder what would happen if they used coffee instead.

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MMMM both are wonderful.

Did you rent "Last Tango.." or something?

Seriously, Tabasco. It might save you a lot of money in the long run.

ShamelessFlirt said:

Actually they do ...

http://www.ineedcoffee.com/01/01/enema/

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If I was into that sort of thing, I'd do it every morning.

http://www.ultimate-coffees-info.com/coffee-colonics.html

Coffee Colonics detoxify the liver, as well as providing a colon cleansing. Some people claim that they provide immediate relief to toxicity symptoms, such as congestion, indigestion, pain and headaches.

There are even some small studies that suggest that Coffee Colonics can aid in the treatment of pancreatic cancer.

At the very end of the colon, before reaching the rectum, is an "S" shaped segments called the sigmoid colon. There is a special circulatory system between this portion of the colon and the liver.


This is because stool at this point in the colon contains putrefied material and needs to be handled carefully in order to avoid toxicity leaking into the bloodstream.

This system of veins enables toxins to be sent directly to the liver for detoxification, rather than them passing through the bloodstream to the rest of the body and vital organs.

During a Coffee Colonic, the caffeine in the coffee goes straight to the liver where it becomes an extremely strong detoxifying chemical called glutathione-S-transferase. The coffee itself also stimulates the liver to make more bile.


The bile comes from the gallbladder and draws out environmental and metabolic toxins, as well as the toxins from Candida albicans and other parasitic organisms. The colon is responsible for ridding the body of these toxins.

In addition, the liver is then stimulated to produce enzymes that clean the blood since it’s no longer needing to work as strenuously on the colon. The coffee in the enema itself never enters the bloodstream as long as the coffee enemas are performed properly.

Only organic coffees can be used for coffees colonics. Non-organic coffees contain herbicides and pesticides that will hinder the coffee colonics healing properties, as do instant and decaffeinated coffees.

Organic Coffee is available through natural food stores, both in person or online.

How often you perform coffee colonics really just depends on what your goals may be. In the first few months of a more intensive regimen, many people prefer to take a coffee colonics as many as three to seven times each.


For people in a more relaxed regimen or in the latter, established stages of an intensive regimen, this is much too much.

At this point, it is recommended that you limit your enemas to only when you feel they are needed; you may feel constipated, have Candida overgrowth, or just generally feel out of sorts.

Currently, there is a clinical trial underway at the Columbia University Department of Surgery to test the so-called “The Gonzales Protocol.”

(1) This clinical trial is currently in its Phase III randomized study after the first two phases showed as much as three times the average life expectancy for patients with advanced pancreatic cancer.

(2) The Gonzales Protocol involves a diet of fresh fruits, vegetables, supplements, and detoxifying colonics, including coffee colonics.


In this study of seventy-two to ninety patients, half will receive standard chemotherapy and half with receive The Gonzales Protocol. The doctor hopes to recreate the promising results found in his pilot study in this more involved Phase III clinical trial.

While many within the medical community find The Gonzales Protocol extremely difficult to accept, it’s difficult to dispute its pilot study’s results.

The median survival rate for patients in the stage of pancreatic cancer as those in the pilot study is four to six months. Some of Dr. Gonzalez’s patients are still alive after three years.

This indisputable evidence has led some skeptics to acknowledge that maybe there’s something to the protocol that includes coffee colonics as a base part of the program. If nothing else, the skeptics feel that the results warrant further study.

Stuponfucious said:

Seriously, Tabasco. It might save you a lot of money in the long run.

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And a corn cob. Don't forget the corn cob.

a little spit goes a long way in emergency situations.

bluntforcemama said:

And a corn cob. Don't forget the corn cob.

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Nah, she can pull the cob out any time she damn well pleases, but the genius of Tabasco is she can't tell it's in the condom until it's too late.

bluntforcemama said:

If I was into that sort of thing, I'd do it every morning.

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I do them, for several reasons. Good to detox.

Plus I'm just a freak.