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Old 08-21-2014, 07:10 PM   #1
patientlee
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There is a naked plot bunny in my creek!

Apparently he didn't see me looking over the bank for the milkweed plant that disappeared because 1 minute later, I looked up and there was a naked man in the creek, right in front of my campsite. I wasn't trying to be sneaky or anything. I have a good campfire (which he probably couldn't see from down there), but I was even talking to the hummingbirds over the creek! (I was telling them to quit fighting. I do it all the time. It's not weird, right?)

I'm trying to write smut here, and a naked man just walks out in front of me. How am I to work under these conditions?!?!
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Old 08-21-2014, 07:24 PM   #2
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Apparently he didn't see me looking over the bank for the milkweed plant that disappeared because 1 minute later, I looked up and there was a naked man in the creek, right in front of my campsite. I wasn't trying to be sneaky or anything. I have a good campfire (which he probably couldn't see from down there), but I was even talking to the hummingbirds over the creek! (I was telling them to quit fighting. I do it all the time. It's not weird, right?)

I'm trying to write smut here, and a naked man just walks out in front of me. How am I to work under these conditions?!?!
Was he good looking--I mean, you know, like someone who'd do well in an erotic story?

Because my current series doesn't have enough men in it, and I could use at least one more. Maybe you could send him over so I could have a look.
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Old 08-21-2014, 07:34 PM   #3
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Why would he be naked? Is it wicked hot there? Remember what happened when you went camping before.
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Old 08-21-2014, 07:41 PM   #4
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He left and came back! He's throwing rocks in the water. I think he's trying to get my attention.

He's not too good looking. I was on the phone with hubby, talking about him, and he came back, just as I was saying that I couldn't believe there was a naked man in the creek. This guy's got some balls. I mean, he really has some balls. I can see them!
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Old 08-21-2014, 07:54 PM   #5
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I'm trying to write smut here, and a naked man just walks out in front of me. How am I to work under these conditions?!?!
Sounds like it's time to introduce yourself and tell him if he doesn't cover up, he's going to to be a character in one of your stories.
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Old 08-21-2014, 08:24 PM   #6
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You mean everyone doesn't swim naked in creeks? Oops. My bad.
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Old 08-21-2014, 08:27 PM   #7
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I called the campground owner who called the cops. The first time could have been a faux pas. The second time was creepy. It was deliberate. He knew I was there, and he was trying to get my attention. They're still looking for the guy in the park.

And for anyone that was thinking about the irony of my naked visitor after my audio story, the whole thing was fake. I was completely dressed the whole time, and the squishy noises were a handful of soft soap. I was actually outside. The rest was a lie.
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Old 08-21-2014, 08:54 PM   #8
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Perhaps the naked man was a German tourist? Nudity in nature is the norm over there. It's even accepted in city parks. Here in Arizona, the local resorts that cater to foreign visitors have to roust the naked Germans out of the jacuzzis on a fairly regular basis.
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Old 08-21-2014, 09:09 PM   #9
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He's not too good looking
Well, never mind. I only have openings for good-looking men right now.

But take care: stay safe.
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Old 08-21-2014, 09:22 PM   #10
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The police just left. They had the dive team out along with every local cop in the county to make sure he didn't trip and fall while he was running his naked ass away.

Shaking my head.
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Old 08-21-2014, 09:27 PM   #11
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My husband was home all evening ...
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Old 08-21-2014, 09:31 PM   #12
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My husband was home all evening ...
That's good to know.
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Old 08-21-2014, 09:44 PM   #13
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Are the police going to have you pick him out of a line-up?
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Old 08-21-2014, 10:01 PM   #14
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Are the police going to have you pick him out of a line-up?
I'm not that lucky, I guess.
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Old 08-21-2014, 10:14 PM   #15
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"Number four, step forward and drop your pants."

"I'm not sure, detective. Can I see them all again."
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Old 08-21-2014, 10:17 PM   #16
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Sop what did I miss? I just got back from a nudist wading retret up north....I was the only one who showed up though. At least the air line didn't lose my luggage.....cause I didn't have any!!

Damn PL, you almost made me spray my monitor down. That shit was funny.
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Old 08-21-2014, 10:48 PM   #17
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The police just left. They had the dive team out along with every local cop in the county to make sure he didn't trip and fall while he was running his naked ass away.

Shaking my head.
Dive team? How deep is that creek?
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Old 08-21-2014, 11:03 PM   #18
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Dive team? How deep is that creek?
Not at all. It's quite low right now. I figured they were the only ones with the proper footwear for a walk down the creek.
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Old 08-21-2014, 11:04 PM   #19
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Damn PL, you almost made me spray my monitor down. That shit was funny.
You are the second person to tell me that today.
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Old 08-22-2014, 01:39 AM   #20
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Phew!

The cops wouldn't give up. I had to run naked for half a mile before I could dive into a ditch.

Now, what's the news here?
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Old 08-22-2014, 01:50 AM   #21
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You are the second person to tell me that today.
And the first person is still waiting on the roll of Bounty and bottle of Windex so he can clean up all the splatters on his laptop!
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Old 08-22-2014, 02:38 PM   #22
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....

And for anyone that was thinking about the irony of my naked visitor after my audio story, the whole thing was fake. I was completely dressed the whole time, and the squishy noises were a handful of soft soap. I was actually outside. The rest was a lie.
Damn, I WAS going to do some clean up around the house, but now I'm going to have to read/listen to that story. Can I tell my wife when she gets home that it's your fault things are so messy?
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Old 08-22-2014, 02:39 PM   #23
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How am I to work under these conditions?!?!
With gusto. (Or Gustaff, if that's his name.)
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Old 08-22-2014, 03:45 PM   #24
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With gusto. (Or Gustaff, if that's his name.)
He looked more like a Dick.
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Old 08-22-2014, 03:54 PM   #25
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Damn, I WAS going to do some clean up around the house, but now I'm going to have to read/listen to that story. Can I tell my wife when she gets home that it's your fault things are so messy?
Go ahead. I've been told that I'm the root of all evil.
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