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Old 10-14-2007, 12:16 PM   #1
Blase
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Ladies: Are you exploring or questioning your submissiveness?

*EDIT, MOST OF FIVE YEARS LATER*

I'm leaving the ad below as it is for now, because it represents a snapshot of the way I was feeling and thinking at a time when I had only recently realized an interest in D/s. I wouldn't write it the same way today (to get an idea of what has changed, see post #15), but it still says a lot of true things about me and about what I have to offer. And it has actually served me pretty well, these last few years...

So, please feel free to have a look at what my voyage of discovery has been like. And then, if you're a girl seeking a guide on her own journey, ask yourself if the hand to draw you onward, the voice to whisper into your ear might be mine.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hello, ladies, and welcome to the ad I never thought I'd write.

I originally came to Lit looking to read erotica, and stayed to write it in SRP threads.

Sub-Dom play? What about it?! I'd never been involved in it and never gave it much thought since, frankly, many aspects of the scene (e.g., the desire to cause a lot of physical pain) just don't resonate with me.

Imagine my surprise, then, when *all* of my early SRP partners turned out to either be self-identified subs or have submissive tendencies! I had realized an aspect of my fantasy life that I had been largely unconscious of.

I realized something else, as well. A lot of female subs, especially inexperienced ones, were experiencing rather shabby treatment from guys who called themselves Doms but who might be more accurately described simply as jerks.

So, I am placing this ad because I have come to see that I may, against all expectations - especially my own - have something to offer here.

Here's what I'm offering, in the full expectation that this ad will be one that interests the few, rather than the many...

I'm seeking girls (women) who would like to be dominated but NOT looked upon as my inferiors, cursed at or called nasty names, or treated unfairly, outside of the agreed-upon inequality implicit in our play or perhaps, to some extent, in our relationship outside of our "formal" playtime.

This would be all online, at least initially, though I'm not ruling out possibilities like phone or even real life should the chemistry be there.

It's got to be obvious, but let me state for the record that very submissive subs or girls who really want to feel personally degraded should NOT apply, as we will only frustrate each other.

My style falls mostly under the heading of "light humiliation", where I have you do deliciously indecent (largely sexual) things and simultaneously confront you with your own indecency, so that you're blushing to the roots of your hair even as that blush is mottled by the deeper flush of your impending orgasm.

Maybe I should mention that you have to take off your clothes a lot.

So, there you have it. If you're a female who's been hurt but still wants to explore her submissiveness in a gentler context, or if you're inexperienced and perhaps have been afraid to try...

Think about this ad. Feel free to read my writings in the SRP area (especially Backstage). See if you feel yourself responding to my fantasies and my imaginative, intellectual style. If so, contact me and let's talk.

No need to be scared. But trembling is allowed...

Last edited by Blase : 04-24-2012 at 05:08 PM.
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Old 10-14-2007, 01:59 PM   #2
Max ODrive
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Ordinarily, I wouldn't reply to an ad like this, however I do think this one time I should, if only to validate Blase's position on things.

I too have seen far too many subs denegrated by those who have no clue what it is to be a true Dom. There's a big difference between humiliation play and taking advantage of someone who is trying to explore their submissivness in a safe and sane manner..

And keep in mind that "play" is one thing and "lifestyle" another.. don't confuse your wants and needs and desires as "lifestyle" if all you're after is some immediate gratification. Make sure those limits are defined before getting into something you're not ready to handle. This way, everyone gets what they want out of it.

Good luck, have fun and enjoy!
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Old 10-19-2007, 11:46 PM   #3
MelancholyBaby
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*bump for a good friend *
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Old 10-22-2007, 12:23 PM   #4
unfoundiamond
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Diffrent strokes...

So... I have to start out by saying I agree with what you wrote previously.... pretty much all of it...
I used to do phone work... well phone sex... and I once had to role play with a male sub who liked to do that whole heavy humiliation thing... I kept him on the phone but I couldn't be mean enough... I couldn't understand it either, I can remember thinking how can he enjoy this....
When I realized who I am as an adult, and began digging into myself and this whole scene... I remembered that phone call. For a second I thought... I must not be a sub, I don't like humiliation... I don't want to be relentlessly barked at untill I kill myself.... I mean I like pain... but if my Master was to make me feel bad about myself by attacking my confidence on an emotional level, I would likely get up and leave... But then I realized, Everyone likes diffrent things, and there are facets that will appeal, and not appeal to everyone... Some will want a strict but loving master, and others will want a cold harsh dictator... Just as there is many diffrent names to call a master by, there are many diffrent kinds of masters... that's the beauty of it...
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Old 03-09-2009, 12:58 AM   #5
Blase
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Bumping this myself for the first time since I put it up nearly a year-and-a-half ago. Girls have responded surprisingly well, and even now I'm not *completely* unpartnered, but online relationships do tend to run their course and there is space in my life again for someone new who can appreciate being treated respectfully, emotionally engaged...and inevitably lead into doing things that would shock her friends.

And not being allowed to look away or pretend as she does them.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I've grown pretty confident in this role, ladies. My initial post above explains what I offer pretty well. Girls who want me to crush their will and prove to them how worthless they are should not apply.

But if you're the girl who's always been good and dreams of being bad, you will find that you can in fact be taken and made brazen...not by request but by fiat.

And you will thank a stranger for the privilege.
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My personal ads, for ladies who:

think they might be submissive,

just like the idea of running around naked,

or would really like to be rubbed the right way.
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Old 06-10-2009, 12:58 AM   #6
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This is a really great post, very thoughtful and articulate. Here's hoping you find what you're looking for.
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Old 01-29-2010, 06:08 PM   #7
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You're a sweet guy, good luck with your search
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Old 01-29-2010, 06:12 PM   #8
kimuk
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My Dom is lovely , I;m a happy lucky woman
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Old 02-01-2010, 12:44 AM   #9
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always open
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Old 02-02-2010, 09:51 AM   #10
MysticFlight_69
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Cool I like this thread

I am going to post my thoughts...

I know I am a submissive fem sexually. I don't want to dominate a man ~ I want an Alpha male who knows me inside & out & can "Master" me without any humiliation or just plain mean, aggressive bullshit or pain.

If you truly Master someone - it is not just sexually or physically - you have to be able to get deep into their mind & soul. A good man will appreciate a woman who will let him be a man - totally. As Nature designed him. A good man - wants the best for everybody involved - he doesn't just seek his own selfish desires.
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Old 02-02-2010, 12:29 PM   #11
Michael_Datche
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MysticFlight_69 View Post
I am going to post my thoughts...

I know I am a submissive fem sexually. I don't want to dominate a man ~ I want an Alpha male who knows me inside & out & can "Master" me without any humiliation or just plain mean, aggressive bullshit or pain.

If you truly Master someone - it is not just sexually or physically - you have to be able to get deep into their mind & soul. A good man will appreciate a woman who will let him be a man - totally. As Nature designed him. A good man - wants the best for everybody involved - he doesn't just seek his own selfish desires.

Well written
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Old 02-03-2010, 08:14 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Michael_Datche View Post
Well written
Thank you!
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Old 04-23-2012, 03:50 PM   #13
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In a way, I'm sorry that I've decided to take a break from all this. I mentioned to you on another thread one of the issues that I have had to deal with and I think that the best way to move forward in life is to swear off everything, reset my bearings and then stride forth with confidence.

Who knows, I may discover a whole new set of fetishes!
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open the curtains of your being
clothe you in a further nudity
uncover the bodies of your body
My hands
invent another body for your body.

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Old 04-23-2012, 10:53 PM   #14
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.....

Last edited by Jenneva : 07-18-2012 at 08:29 PM.
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Old 04-24-2012, 06:01 PM   #15
Blase
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cinner View Post
In a way, I'm sorry that I've decided to take a break from all this. I mentioned to you on another thread one of the issues that I have had to deal with and I think that the best way to move forward in life is to swear off everything, reset my bearings and then stride forth with confidence.

Who knows, I may discover a whole new set of fetishes!
Thank you for bumping my ad, Cinner. You add something valuable to these forums and will be missed if you take a break from Lit. But sometimes there are things that we know we need to do.

We all seek understanding and wholeness. I wish you the best wherever you're searching.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jenneva
Thank you for this (and the responses), and I'm sure we're sorry for hijacking your personal ad, although we are bumping you, so...

sub doesn't necessarily mean humiliation. I don't get turned on by someone putting me down, verbal abuse or humiliation. IMO, your Dom should build you up and think you the most precious gem in the world. Protect you and keep you safe, emotionally and physically. Just my 2 c
Thank you for your thoughts, Jenneva. (Although I'm not 100% sure whether you're agreeing with me or taking issue with me. Perhaps a bit of both?)

When I started this thread, I had only recently stumbled into D/s and I was just starting to develop a sense of what it was and what it meant to me. Over time, I've come to a much better understanding of it and found better ways to talk about it. Although, to be sure, I'm still exploring...

If I were writing my ad from scratch today, I wouldn't use the term "light humiliation", even though I think that term could still be fairly applied, based purely on its lexical meaning.

What I would say to a girl today is

"Come to me and I'll show you yourself.

Come to me and offer me what you have. Offer me what you're afraid to give.

If you're shy, offer me your shyness. If you're afraid, offer me your fear.

Come to me with your curiosity, your nervousness, your fantasies, your doubts, your hopes... and lay them all at my feet.

Come and offer them all to me, offer me yourself... then take my hand. Take my hand and we'll talk, and laugh, and as we talk and laugh I'll draw you onward, and teach you...

Come to me and I'll show you yourself.

I'll show you yourself from the moment of

'I don't know if I can'

to

'I can't believe I'm doing this'

to

'I want to give everything you ask for'

to

'See me now. Yours with no shame.'"

Blase
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Old 04-24-2012, 06:26 PM   #16
TeeTee
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blase View Post

What I would say to a girl today is

"Come to me and I'll show you yourself.

Come to me and offer me what you have. Offer me what you're afraid to give.

If you're shy, offer me your shyness. If you're afraid, offer me your fear.

Come to me with your curiosity, your nervousness, your fantasies, your doubts, your hopes... and lay them all at my feet.

Come and offer them all to me, offer me yourself... then take my hand. Take my hand and we'll talk, and laugh, and as we talk and laugh I'll draw you onward, and teach you...

Come to me and I'll show you yourself.

I'll show you yourself from the moment of

'I don't know if I can'

to

'I can't believe I'm doing this'

to

'I want to give everything you ask for'

to

'See me now. Yours with no shame.'"

Blase
Very well said. 'Like'
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Old 04-26-2012, 08:10 AM   #17
Edith_UK
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blase View Post

What I would say to a girl today is

"Come to me and I'll show you yourself.

Come to me and offer me what you have. Offer me what you're afraid to give.

If you're shy, offer me your shyness. If you're afraid, offer me your fear.

Come to me with your curiosity, your nervousness, your fantasies, your doubts, your hopes... and lay them all at my feet.

Come and offer them all to me, offer me yourself... then take my hand. Take my hand and we'll talk, and laugh, and as we talk and laugh I'll draw you onward, and teach you...

Come to me and I'll show you yourself.

I'll show you yourself from the moment of

'I don't know if I can'

to

'I can't believe I'm doing this'

to

'I want to give everything you ask for'

to

'See me now. Yours with no shame.'"

Blase
Oh my.
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Old 06-11-2012, 07:32 PM   #18
Chelynn
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Don't know

I don't even know if I'm doing this right, I'm sorry if I'm not but something made me reply. I have been in a relationship where there has been no touching, playing, I couldn't even talk about what I might like and I have no idea what that is. I'm a strong minded person and don't like to be made to feel stupid, but I want a man to have control. I'm very shy and I have just taken my 1st pics, which I hate. I'm insecure but I don't want to be. I want to play and enjoy. I found this site bu accident and I am feeling things that I haven't felt in a long time. I'm not a whore and I take offense to that but I would love to be w/a man that I respected and enjoyed calling me his. This is not easy for me and I can't believe I'm actually doing it, I hope you don't mind.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blase View Post
*EDIT, MOST OF FIVE YEARS LATER*

I'm leaving the ad below as it is for now, because it represents a snapshot of the way I was feeling and thinking at a time when I had only recently realized an interest in D/s. I wouldn't write it the same way today (to get an idea of what has changed, see post #15), but it still says a lot of true things about me and about what I have to offer. And it has actually served me pretty well, these last few years...

So, please feel free to have a look at what my voyage of discovery has been like. And then, if you're a girl seeking a guide on her own journey, ask yourself if the hand to draw you onward, the voice to whisper into your ear might be mine.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hello, ladies, and welcome to the ad I never thought I'd write.

I originally came to Lit looking to read erotica, and stayed to write it in SRP threads.

Sub-Dom play? What about it?! I'd never been involved in it and never gave it much thought since, frankly, many aspects of the scene (e.g., the desire to cause a lot of physical pain) just don't resonate with me.

Imagine my surprise, then, when *all* of my early SRP partners turned out to either be self-identified subs or have submissive tendencies! I had realized an aspect of my fantasy life that I had been largely unconscious of.

I realized something else, as well. A lot of female subs, especially inexperienced ones, were experiencing rather shabby treatment from guys who called themselves Doms but who might be more accurately described simply as jerks.

So, I am placing this ad because I have come to see that I may, against all expectations - especially my own - have something to offer here.

Here's what I'm offering, in the full expectation that this ad will be one that interests the few, rather than the many...

I'm seeking girls (women) who would like to be dominated but NOT looked upon as my inferiors, cursed at or called nasty names, or treated unfairly, outside of the agreed-upon inequality implicit in our play or perhaps, to some extent, in our relationship outside of our "formal" playtime.

This would be all online, at least initially, though I'm not ruling out possibilities like phone or even real life should the chemistry be there.

It's got to be obvious, but let me state for the record that very submissive subs or girls who really want to feel personally degraded should NOT apply, as we will only frustrate each other.

My style falls mostly under the heading of "light humiliation", where I have you do deliciously indecent (largely sexual) things and simultaneously confront you with your own indecency, so that you're blushing to the roots of your hair even as that blush is mottled by the deeper flush of your impending orgasm.

Maybe I should mention that you have to take off your clothes a lot.

So, there you have it. If you're a female who's been hurt but still wants to explore her submissiveness in a gentler context, or if you're inexperienced and perhaps have been afraid to try...

Think about this ad. Feel free to read my writings in the SRP area (especially Backstage). See if you feel yourself responding to my fantasies and my imaginative, intellectual style. If so, contact me and let's talk.

No need to be scared. But trembling is allowed...
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Old 06-12-2012, 04:08 AM   #19
love2spark
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Your post does make me tremble, in the best possible way. I do seek someone I can explore my submissive side with, without extreme physical pain or humiliation. Until I read your post I wasn't sure that such a thing was out there. I ache to give myself to someone who can take me with respect, to give myself and receive strength in return. I'm not a weak woman, quite the opposite, but I yearn to submit to a strong man and know what it feels like to safely give my submission.

I hope to hear from you,
love2spark
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Old 06-15-2012, 02:23 AM   #20
hunnyblonde
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blase View Post
What I would say to a girl today is

"Come to me and I'll show you yourself.

Come to me and offer me what you have. Offer me what you're afraid to give.

If you're shy, offer me your shyness. If you're afraid, offer me your fear.

Come to me with your curiosity, your nervousness, your fantasies, your doubts, your hopes... and lay them all at my feet.

Come and offer them all to me, offer me yourself... then take my hand. Take my hand and we'll talk, and laugh, and as we talk and laugh I'll draw you onward, and teach you...

Come to me and I'll show you yourself.

I'll show you yourself from the moment of

'I don't know if I can'

to

'I can't believe I'm doing this'

to

'I want to give everything you ask for'

to

'See me now. Yours with no shame.'"

Blase
I will join the chorus of other women saying "My god.... Yes. Someone finally understands."

How beautiful. Wish you every pleasure in the world and the best of luck in your search Blase.
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Old 06-16-2012, 11:06 AM   #21
kyrie1595
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~fanny myself~…Oh…My…

I must say, this is the most impressive BDSM personal ad I’ve ever read. Elegantly written with an obvious sense of self, what you want and who you’re looking for.

I wish you all the best in finding exactly who you’re looking for. ~smiles~

Sincerely,

kyrie


Quote:
Originally Posted by Blase View Post
If I were writing my ad from scratch today, I wouldn't use the term "light humiliation", even though I think that term could still be fairly applied, based purely on its lexical meaning.

What I would say to a girl today is

"Come to me and I'll show you yourself.

Come to me and offer me what you have. Offer me what you're afraid to give.

If you're shy, offer me your shyness. If you're afraid, offer me your fear.

Come to me with your curiosity, your nervousness, your fantasies, your doubts, your hopes... and lay them all at my feet.

Come and offer them all to me, offer me yourself... then take my hand. Take my hand and we'll talk, and laugh, and as we talk and laugh I'll draw you onward, and teach you...

Come to me and I'll show you yourself.

I'll show you yourself from the moment of

'I don't know if I can'

to

'I can't believe I'm doing this'

to

'I want to give everything you ask for'

to

'See me now. Yours with no shame.'"

Blase
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What is it you think I need...Love? Only men need to be loved Sweetheart...Women need to be wanted.
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I went looking for trouble
And boy
I found her...
TYPE O NEGATIVE "Black No. 1"
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guilty by design
she's nothing more then fiction.
she dreams in digital...
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Heaven's just a rumor she'll dispel.
As she walks me through the nicest parts of hell
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Old 06-19-2012, 07:40 PM   #22
searchformore
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What I would say to a girl today is

"Come to me and I'll show you yourself.

Come to me and offer me what you have. Offer me what you're afraid to give.

If you're shy, offer me your shyness. If you're afraid, offer me your fear.

Come to me with your curiosity, your nervousness, your fantasies, your doubts, your hopes... and lay them all at my feet.

Come and offer them all to me, offer me yourself... then take my hand. Take my hand and we'll talk, and laugh, and as we talk and laugh I'll draw you onward, and teach you...

Come to me and I'll show you yourself.

I'll show you yourself from the moment of

'I don't know if I can'

to

'I can't believe I'm doing this'

to

'I want to give everything you ask for'

to

'See me now. Yours with no shame.'"

Blase[/quote]




this touched me.
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Old 06-19-2012, 07:59 PM   #23
LordDean
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It is interesting the perception that some people have of a Dom/sub relationship, as opposed to a Master/slave one. I can't address the M/s one because it is too extreme for me. However, to me, a Dom/sub relationship (either face to face or online) is very special. A submissive is someone to be cherished and treasured. It is the Dom's role to learn the various facets of the submissive's being. When he/she likes, hates, tolerates, fantasizes about, etc. Pain for the sake of pain isn't part of a D/s relationship. That doesn't mean that there might be some discipline involved. Finding limits and pushing boundaries are the responsibility of the Dom. Accepting that he/she will be pushed has to be part of the mindset of the submissive.
I respect the fact that opinions vary from person to person. I hope everyone else does too.

Just my not so humble perspective.

LordDean
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Old 07-02-2013, 08:55 AM   #24
DeadlySin27
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Removed

Last edited by DeadlySin27 : 05-18-2014 at 05:29 AM. Reason: Removed
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Old 07-02-2013, 12:11 PM   #25
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Talking

Quote:
Originally Posted by searchformore View Post

this touched me.

i agree! what a generous, thoughtful, understanding offer!
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