What are your limits?

What are the things that no matter what you will not have done to you or will not do to someone else. How have these evolved/changed in your time in the "lifestyle?"


i find it interesting to see what is a hard limit for some vs. another whom it may be everyday behavior for.

i don't have any limits (in the sense of anything i would refuse to do) of my own, that is part of how my slavery to my Master works. He sets limits for me, which change and vary all the time depending on who i'm serving, the particular situation, and his whim at that particular moment. the only set in stone limits he has for me would be things that to him are so obvious they needn't even be mentioned...like anything involving me topping or dominating another person.

Whatever makes me feel like I need to walk from the relationship. I'm not sure what that is.

There are a ton of things I'm not interested in, most of which none of my partners are interested in either.

ownedsubgal said:

i don't have any limits (in the sense of anything i would refuse to do) of my own, that is part of how my slavery to my Master works. He sets limits for me, which change and vary all the time depending on who i'm serving, the particular situation, and his whim at that particular moment. the only set in stone limits he has for me would be things that to him are so obvious they needn't even be mentioned...like anything involving me topping or dominating another person.

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What she said.

It wasn't always like that for us, but it has evolved to be so. If you had asked me if I would consent to being blindfolded and led to the basement and have my cunt lips sewn together, I likely would not have checked the "yes" box.

Didn't stop her from doing just that

Wouldn't have it any other way.

HottieMama said:

What are the things that no matter what you will not have done to you or will not do to someone else. How have these evolved/changed in your time in the "lifestyle?"

i find it interesting to see what is a hard limit for some vs. another whom it may be everyday behavior for.

Click to expand...

Newbie here...

I have been in the lifestyle for about 18 months now..
I have evolved from thinking I was a subbie to understanding I am a switch.
I can't personally handle percussion play, but recently learned I wield a mean crop & cane
Click to see Yes my "canvas" ok'd it as long as I didn't ID him
I can't flogg with anything but a cushy denim flogger without feeling pukey.
Scat is a hard limit for me... power to those that enjoy it
ANY flogging, whips, canes, crops are hard limits right now as well.
the above will take a long time to change as they induce panic...
A few spanks CAN be put in during the stuff I enjoy
Spanks have been worked on for over a year with the "Top" I have
I still don't like them, but don't freak because I know it is his favourite thing to do...

I have evolved from hating the lifestyle a couple of years ago (as a hard core 'nilla) to now understanding it better & embaracing the freedom it has within it... I continue to evolve & grow the more I watch, learn & feel...

I have limits, not all of them are directly BDSM in a sexual sense.

I want to know where I am with a person, in terms of a relationship.

Prior to finding BDSM I had bouts of frenzy when I would have a series of one night stands. But I also had times of celibacy.

BDSM has levelled all of that. I now only become involved if that person is looking for a relationship.
A relationship that is a healthy mix of vanilla and D/s. Anything less is a limit that I won't cross. Of course I realise that my view of that mix is subjective and each person has a differing view of what the mix should be.

I have a need for honesty and respect. A limit would be when someone lies.
I have been lied to once, he did not intend to do that. He was unaware of his remaining feelings for someone else. That's is ok, he was honest once he figured it out.

I don't care about their sexual or relationship life before I met that person, I may not like what I hear; but that can apply in both directions. However, I want to know the truth. Nothing hidden.

I may crave to kneel, crawl, take a measure of pain and submit my mind to another person; but I want respect from that person.
An acknowledgement from them that they understand that they are someone I want to explore things with and trust enough to submit to them.

There are things I have no interest in, they are not a limit; but I would be doing them for that other person and they would need to understand I have no desire to try to them.

I am aware my limits in BDSM terms move and alter depending on the relationship.
There are specific things I don't want to leave out of a relationship, but they may not be right at a particular point in time due to the newness of knowing each other or the situation we are in.

In that sense some of my limits relate to things I want to have in my life as oppose to things I never wish to try.

Netzach said:

Whatever makes me feel like I need to walk from the relationship. I'm not sure what that is.

There are a ton of things I'm not interested in, most of which none of my partners are interested in either.

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Yup, that sums it up for me as well.

I had a bunch of limits in the beginning, but over time trust grew and we learned that we share the same limits. So, I can say, I have no limits because my Sir wouldn't make do something that would create one.

my generic hard limits are scat, bloodplay, knifeplay, and needles.

my soft limits are biting, choking, abrasion, and asphyxiation.

different limits for each person, but those are the ones that i just plain old don't enjoy.

I had to try most of those to get them on the list - I'm the kind of girl that won't say never to something until I've tried it

The biting thing turns a lot of people off of me. Biting seems to be a generic enjoyment among most people, not just kinky ones. But I absolutely hate the feeling. I also can't stand anything that punctures or any sort of abrasion.

I'm not interested in, and have made it clear in past associations that I will not be cut with a knife or burned. I also will not be choked or anything of that nature or be involved in anything that involves excrement or urine.

HottieMama said:

What are the things that no matter what you will not have done to you or will not do to someone else. How have these evolved/changed in your time in the "lifestyle?"


i find it interesting to see what is a hard limit for some vs. another whom it may be everyday behavior for.

Click to expand...

When I started this with myD I had some "soft" limits I didnt like to swallow and I didnt like anal sex. after 4 months now myD has me doing both and now he calls me his Cumslut... cause I bring up sucking him off everytime.... and he is getting me to love anal sex... My HARD limits would be blood, scat or urine or kids or animals no matter how much I love him I couldnt do it. And he wouldnt make me ..

I would do anything, anytime anywhere that my Dom asked of me. The key is I know him very well and I am well aware of his values, concerns, his temperment etc. I know he would never ask me to do something I would not be able to say yes to.

These include anything that interfers with my husband or my children. No posting of pictures anywhere that show my face (except masked). No drugs, no public sex. No permanent markings. (Piercings are ok if in hidden areas)

In general, if is isn't going to kill me or "out me" or interfer with my family I'm ok with it.

I do have clausophobia and aphyixation issues but I am working on those.

I like my asphyxiation issues, even if it means I poke secret breather holes in the back of the plastic bag I put on H's head or if I don't ask my Bull who *could* actually pass me out correctly, to do it.

Netzach said:

I like my asphyxiation issues, even if it means I poke secret breather holes in the back of the plastic bag I put on H's head or if I don't ask my Bull who *could* actually pass me out correctly, to do it.

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I'm pretty attached to my issues...lol Though I do like them being pushed a bit. At least I think so...that part of this relationship is still new.

ownedsubgal said:

i don't have any limits (in the sense of anything i would refuse to do) of my own, that is part of how my slavery to my Master works. He sets limits for me, which change and vary all the time depending on who i'm serving, the particular situation, and his whim at that particular moment. the only set in stone limits he has for me would be things that to him are so obvious they needn't even be mentioned...like anything involving me topping or dominating another person.

Click to expand...

I do not have limits on anything that I would not do...I will do everything within my power to Please Him...naked to the ends of the Earth...

However, there are the limits that He has set for me like, as ownedsubgal says, are obvious: He owns me. I am His whore. What He wants, He gets. Period.

Scientology.
Zoobas.
Swisher Sweets.

Face slapping: This has too many abusive connotations for me/us. I am freaked out by sudden moves towards my face anyway - instinct I guess

Breath play/choking: Due to a near drowning as a 5 year old I cannot stand not being able to breathe. It's funny though I can take being face fucked - we have a safe signal of 3 taps to His butt or leg to let Him know I need to breathe, which has given me much more confidence. Still the thought of hands around my throat or a bag over my head is very very scary

The usual suspects like scat, kids, knives and blood.. I used to say needles but this has become more like a soft limit now....I have read some articles/posts about the "endorphin high" some get with it which has piqued my curiosity. Watersports? I have peed on someone once, never been peed on, and have NO desire to drink any. But unlikely to happen seeing that Master does not pee (He has renal failure)

Netzach said:

Scientology.
Zoobas.
Swisher Sweets.

Click to expand...

Scientology is definitely on my list of hard limits, too, right up there with scat and kids.

My hard limits mostly is similar to the others; scat, blood, extreme violence and most importantly, the images of sharp knives. (children and animals are obviously other hard limits)

Watersports used to be a hard limit, but since being encouraged to play with myself as I desperately needed the toilets and I kinda enjoyed it. I don't think I could handle being peed on or anything extreme like that although.

Hard limits: Excretia, permanent harm, burns (this falls under permanent harm, really, as burning frequently causes scar tissue, thus being permanent).

I would say kids and animals, but that breaks the Consensual barrier (as niether children nor animals have the wherewithal to give consent IMO), so it really isn't needed.

Soft limits: Numerous. I have a soft hand (as far as I am concerned), generally, and will rarely go somewhere if I feel uncomfortable with it. None of my gals has been a painslut, or wanted anything that I would not generally do, so that hasn't been much of an issue.

Then again, "w" felt my hand was soft until I learned her body and felt I could trust her responses. Then she was suddenly less convinced that I was soft and thought that my insistence on the red/yellow/green scale was a good idea. Maybe I should say that I have a moderate hand. *shrug*

My hard limits: scat and kids

I am still discovering what my other limits are

Bold girl.

Hell honey even I have more hard limits that that.

You go girl

BiaTcHiNFiRe said:

My hard limits: scat and kids

I am still discovering what my other limits are

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*snort*

Damn that Dyanetics ...what the hell is it anyway?

Netzach said:

Scientology.
Zoobas.
Swisher Sweets.

Click to expand...

*sadly scratches Chicklet and Horny off his list after reading theirs... *

My HARD limits? I won't deliberately kill you or do anything that will require emergency medical assistance to fix. Voluntary sex with a male. Kids and critters.

My soft limits? Breathplay to unconsciousness, scat, rainbow play. I think those are it at this point.

Hard limits: scat, kids, animals and serious scarification and since EG mentioned it rainbow shower, just ewww!

Soft limits: watersports, knifeplay, needles, fire and anal.

most but not all of my soft limits are things I haven't tried but, I think I could handle if in the right situation with the right person.

Evil_Geoff said:

*sadly scratches Chicklet and Horny off his list after reading theirs... *

My HARD limits? I won't deliberately kill you or do anything that will require emergency medical assistance to fix. Voluntary sex with a male. Kids and critters.

My soft limits? Breathplay to unconsciousness, scat, rainbow play. I think those are it at this point.

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I'm afraid to ask...but what is rainbow play?