quick thread, anyonline Doms willing to talk to my friend?

SheDevilShay

Really Experienced
Joined
Jul 30, 2007
Posts
269
I have a friend.. she only has MSN... she's looking for someone who will help her understand better what the Dom (daddy) aspect could provide for her .. she is seeking someone to communicate with... She's pretty sure she wants a long term partner/dom (she's a single mom) but she wants to experiement online first so she knows what she would want in a long term partner...

If your interested, send me a brief piece of information in PM along with your MSN contact info and I will forward it to her. (she's making an account here but doesn't have time right this minute since she's a college student.)


Edit : she read the add and says she also has Aim and Yahoo.
 
Babe- you need to post this in the BDSM personals section... and she'd be better off doing some research, joining a message board to ask questions... yadayadayada.
 
CutieMouse said:
Babe- you need to post this in the BDSM personals section... and she'd be better off doing some research, joining a message board to ask questions... yadayadayada.


I know ;o but you guys are less "cyber" freaks here then the personal adds haha
 
SheDevilShay said:
I know ;o but you guys are less "cyber" freaks here then the personal adds haha

Tough shit.

If she wants to "explore" BDSM she needs to grow up and do the work, herself. If you want to help her, post your kinky personals ad in the right place, and let her weed through the asshats like everyone else has to.
 
CutieMouse said:
Tough shit.

If she wants to "explore" BDSM she needs to grow up and do the work, herself. If you want to help her, post your kinky personals ad in the right place, and let her weed through the asshats like everyone else has to.


Exactly.


CM..you are officially my new "girlie" crush.
 
you're right, there are a lot less freaks here than in the personals section. Better off posting this request here.

Besides, she's not asking for a relationship. She's asking for some guidance and maybe her friend is really shy.

Maybe if you guys didn't snap and claw at everyone new who asks a question we could at least appear to be a little bit above the trolls.
 
Betticus said:
you're right, there are a lot less freaks here than in the personals section. Better off posting this request here.

Besides, she's not asking for a relationship. She's asking for some guidance and maybe her friend is really shy.

Maybe if you guys didn't snap and claw at everyone new who asks a question we could at least appear to be a little bit above the trolls.

*nods* thank You Betticus, i was going to say something like that, but decided maybe i was just in a bad mood and didn't need to be posting..LOL....
 
Betticus said:
you're right, there are a lot less freaks here than in the personals section. Better off posting this request here.

Besides, she's not asking for a relationship. She's asking for some guidance and maybe her friend is really shy.

Maybe if you guys didn't snap and claw at everyone new who asks a question we could at least appear to be a little bit above the trolls.

Ya know what Bett? I have spent a lot of this week answering Shay's questions, and was (and am) happy to do so; I've even defended her a few times.

However, in the past week to 10 days, Shay has stated she is a switch who leans heavily towards being a dominant, then that she's decided to submit to her husband, then there were threads about wanting to make him make her submit, then threads about Daddy Doms and that that was what she needed, then kajira/exploring slavery, and she's talked about what a struggle all this is for her, because it's a huge change... now she's been explaining all this to a friend who after hearing about it, wants to talk to a Daddy Dom online and find out if she's intersted in being a submissive.

IMO, Shay's being a bit frenzied, and has no business acting as a filter for a friend, when she doesn't know what the ever lovin' eff she's talking about, because she hasn't even processed this crap for herself, yet.

I also don't like the idea of playing favorites, and letting people who are too shy/new/uncertain/uncomfortable to wade through the sludge of the BDSM Personals section, to put their ad up here. If we tell the average Joe off the street looking for cybersex to fulfill his fantasy of being ass-raped by an Amazon queen while having honey dripped on his cock to post in the BDSM Personals section, we should tell members of this forum to do the same.
 
SheDevilShay said:
I have a friend.. she only has MSN... and says she also has Aim and Yahoo.

I'll agree with Cutie, this is a personal ad of the "looking for a mentor" variety. It should go up in the BDSM Personals forum.

That being said, feel free to give her the YIM address in my profile.
 
I have been watching these threads, posts and poster in question, off and on for most of the last week.

Personally, I think that people, including Cutie, have been more than kind, patient and generous in their advice and support to her over the last week. But there is a point for everyone where those things wear thin in the face of so much confusion, indecisiveness and waffling.

This thread is no different than any other like it. It belongs in the Personals and most definately not on the BDSM Talk board.
 
A Desert Rose said:
I have been watching these threads, posts and poster in question, off and on for most of the last week.

Personally, I think that people, including Cutie, have been more than kind, patient and generous in their advice and support to her over the last week. But there is a point for everyone where those things wear thin in the face of so much confusion, indecisiveness and waffling.

This thread is no different than any other like it. It belongs in the Personals and most definately not on the BDSM Talk board.

Thank you DR.
 
Your welcome. ;-)

I think that if there ever was an example of a new-to-the-lifestyle person who needs a mentor/confidant this is a prime one.

This lady is very confused and seems to be trying to bombard herself with as much information as she can get all at once and is not able to absorb even a fraction of it. It's like a frenzy. She is rushing herself into something that she doesn't seem to understand and the worst part is, she has no real clue, yet, who or what she is.

I know for a fact that there are dozens of posters here of all shades (subs, switches, Dom/mes) who would be glad to step up and help anytime anyone asked to be mentored and helped.

It's not my intent to offend her or make her feel inadequate. She needs some time to reflect on herself, her needs and desires and I think, someone to be a guide, teacher and a listening post.
 
Eh.

Nobody is forcing anyone to click on her threads or respond.

If people feel their advice is falling on deaf ears then just move on.
 
Well, she's a bit hard to ignore as she seems to be starting about every 2nd thread over the past week.

I agree, everyone, particularly CM, has been very patient & welcoming, but this girl doesn't have a clue what she really wants & to me is more of the attention seeking kind of poster than one looking for serious answers.

I feel particularly sorry for her husband who must be wondering what the hell he's gotten himself in for.
 
this may be crazy....but....

Isn't that what the literotica boards are for? So people can sort out what they want to explore without all the pressure of the real world?
Silly me to think that we could all be nice to each other....
 
This is a personals ad and so that is where it will reside. I'm sure you will find many more people here willing to talk to you online...or your 'friend'. Good luck with it.

Catalina :catroar:
 
incubus'_sub said:
Well, she's a bit hard to ignore as she seems to be starting about every 2nd thread over the past week.

I agree, everyone, particularly CM, has been very patient & welcoming, but this girl doesn't have a clue what she really wants & to me is more of the attention seeking kind of poster than one looking for serious answers.

I feel particularly sorry for her husband who must be wondering what the hell he's gotten himself in for.

I don't agree with you at all. You are free to ignore anything you don't want to see and just because someone is starting a lot of threads doesn't mean they should be censored. As far as I've seen, all her threads have been about different subjects, so what's your complaint?

It is really irrelevant how "patient & welcoming" anyone is. So what if she doesn't have a clue what she wants? Duh. That's why she's here and asking questions. I don't think she's attention seeking at all. Sounds more to me like you think you are all that because you think you know what you want and feel the need to put down someone who is going through a time in their life where they have just found BDSM and have tons of questions.

How rude of you to say that comment about her husband and her. Who do you think you are? A God of BDSM or Lit or what? Give me a break. :rolleyes:
 
In her defense, and I by no means claim to be an opinion worth listening too, I really sit the fence sometimes too. Mostly knowledge vs. lack thereof. So I can see where she's coming from with the constant switching of her story. But still...

I'm not touching this one with a ten foot pole.
 
A standing OVation

sister76 said:
I don't agree with you at all. You are free to ignore anything you don't want to see and just because someone is starting a lot of threads doesn't mean they should be censored. As far as I've seen, all her threads have been about different subjects, so what's your complaint?

It is really irrelevant how "patient & welcoming" anyone is. So what if she doesn't have a clue what she wants? Duh. That's why she's here and asking questions. I don't think she's attention seeking at all. Sounds more to me like you think you are all that because you think you know what you want and feel the need to put down someone who is going through a time in their life where they have just found BDSM and have tons of questions.

How rude of you to say that comment about her husband and her. Who do you think you are? A God of BDSM or Lit or what? Give me a break. :rolleyes:
Bravo!!! Well said!
 
entering the fray

I have spoken at length with shay and learned alot about her. She has graciously shared her online journal with me, and that gave me an insight into her struggle and her coming to grips with who and what she is. Very few journeys are in straight lines, and her's is no exception. Shay is more at peace with herself now than she has ever been in her life - and that is what is most important.
I have spoken at greater length with her friend amber - the one shay alluded to in her initial posting. When amber read shay's journal, it caused her to realize that she shares many of the same struggles in her own life, but was not familiar at all with the D/s lifestyle, and as she read what shay has shared, she realizes the perhaps, that is what she has subconsciously been seeking herself. Like many submissives, both shay and amber have had more than their share of being treated in ways that girls and women should not be treated, and now are struggling to put those pieces back together, and who better to help them do that, than a loving and caring DaddyDom.
Give them both the right to walk their own journeys with support from friends, not condemnation, because their path may be different than yours.
 
hotpup said:
Bravo!!! Well said!

Thanks! I was feeling a little bad about that post, because it sounded mean, but I am glad to find out someone else felt the same way!

Discovering your BDSM inclinations is hard enough without people insulting you. I just wanted the OP to know for sure that not everyone agrees with insulting posts such as that one. That is something that was lacking for me when I first posted on here and it caused a lot of heartache for me. Even though these are just "internet people" responding it still affects people who are in such a vulnerable position.

I think people who say things like that are trying to make being a "BDSM practitioner" into some kind of clique, which is not cool at all.
 
Last edited:
Excuse me?

Ok Im going to Jump off my fence

Yes it should probably of been placed in the ads, BUT you people have no offered one piece of advice for her friend to be publicly viewed,

This may sound bitchy

But we are going on about how it shouldnt be posted here when we are missing exactly what the poster is asking?
By all rights people could be PM'ing but maybe some of the doms or even subs could of offered a piece of advice to be passed on to her friend? but like stated above

YOU chose to read this thread
YOU chose to comment

( Now you can bite my head off :D)
 
gentlemaster612 said:
I have spoken at length with shay and learned alot about her. She has graciously shared her online journal with me, and that gave me an insight into her struggle and her coming to grips with who and what she is. Very few journeys are in straight lines, and her's is no exception. Shay is more at peace with herself now than she has ever been in her life - and that is what is most important.
I have spoken at greater length with her friend amber - the one shay alluded to in her initial posting. When amber read shay's journal, it caused her to realize that she shares many of the same struggles in her own life, but was not familiar at all with the D/s lifestyle, and as she read what shay has shared, she realizes the perhaps, that is what she has subconsciously been seeking herself. Like many submissives, both shay and amber have had more than their share of being treated in ways that girls and women should not be treated, and now are struggling to put those pieces back together, and who better to help them do that, than a loving and caring DaddyDom.
Give them both the right to walk their own journeys with support from friends, not condemnation, because their path may be different than yours.

I take My Hat (if i had one, and if i did it would be a nice one like that lad off AUS BB07 had, that zach fellow.. anyway!)
I take my hat off to you, And Support what you say, People Should be able to walk their path, they way THEY want, without being critisised for the way they do.
 
Having offered my services as a source of information, I'm still waiting for the first IM from Shay or her friend... :confused:
 
Back
Top