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Old 08-27-2007, 03:17 PM   #26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sr71plt
This is what the Geico "Even a caveman can do it" commercials are all about.
Can you believe that they are actually making a television program from the cavemen on that commercial?
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Old 08-27-2007, 03:35 PM   #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Daniellekitten
Can you believe that they are actually making a television program from the cavemen on that commercial?
Can you believe David Hasselhof is a judge on a talent show?
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Old 08-27-2007, 03:38 PM   #28
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The best thing about Star Trek is the second William Shatner CD, called 'Has Been', released in 2004, cowritten and produced by Ben Folds. The disc is a pop masterpiece, featuring guest performances by Joe jackson, Aimee Mann, Henry Rollins, and Brad Paisley.

For those of us who might be considered 'past our prime' it is the perfect soundtrack to our pitiful lives. In fact, I would think Scouries would love it, if he could see the humor in making fun of himself. I think that's the difference between Scouries and Shatner - Shatner knows he's a buffoon, and he plays on it for laughs, Scouries doesn't even realize it.

For those familiar with the first Shatner CD, which featured his dramatic reading of 'Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds', the new disc is a total departure. It's actual music, with Shatner talking through the verses, and the guest artist (or choir) singing the chorus. The songs are heart-felt, the music is lovely, and it's in my top ten list, right next to Sgt Pepper.

Back on topic, I checked my score on the Nude Day contest, but I haven't looked since. We all write for different reasons, and appealing to the lowest common denominator is not a goal I strive for. As a famous songwriter said: "In a room full of 100 people, I would rather piss off half and have the other half tell me they loved the song than have all 100 say 'that was nice.'"
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Old 08-27-2007, 03:46 PM   #29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DeeZire
The best thing about Star Trek is the second William Shatner CD, called 'Has Been', released in 2004, cowritten and produced by Ben Folds. The disc is a pop masterpiece, featuring guest performances by Joe jackson, Aimee Mann, Henry Rollins, and Brad Paisley.

For those of us who might be considered 'past our prime' it is the perfect soundtrack to our pitiful lives. In fact, I would think Scouries would love it, if he could see the humor in making fun of himself. I think that's the difference between Scouries and Shatner - Shatner knows he's a buffoon, and he plays on it for laughs, Scouries doesn't even realize it.

For those familiar with the first Shatner CD, which featured his dramatic reading of 'Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds', the new disc is a total departure. It's actual music, with Shatner talking through the verses, and the guest artist (or choir) singing the chorus. The songs are heart-felt, the music is lovely, and it's in my top ten list, right next to Sgt Pepper.

Back on topic, I checked my score on the Nude Day contest, but I haven't looked since. We all write for different reasons, and appealing to the lowest common denominator is not a goal I strive for. As a famous songwriter said: "In a room full of 100 people, I would rather piss off half and have the other half tell me they loved the song than have all 100 say 'that was nice.'"
There was a topic?

Dang.

I say that someone has to make the lowest common denominator happy. As Senator Hruska said during the nomination of somebody-or-other Carswell to the Supreme Court in the early 70s, "so what if he's mediocre. Don't mediocre people deserve representation, too?" Or something like that; I'm quoting from memory.
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The Readers Have Spoken:

"Your Treasure Island story was idiotic. Why do people such as you waste everyone's time. Maybe the men like that drivel you write, but us women find your whole approach to writing distasteful. Silly Ass!" - Pleasure Island . . . only half as many readers left to marshalienate.

"I liked it so much better than your last story which I quit reading after five or six chapters because it just wouldn't hold my attention." - The Judgment of Harris . . . something for everyone!

"First, you betrayed a competence of language out of sight of nearly every other author." - Acts of Grace . . . I'm a trader to my own kind. Traitor. Damn it.
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Old 08-27-2007, 04:20 PM   #30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MarshAlien
Can you believe David Hasselhof is a judge on a talent show?
Can you believe another scouries thread goes over one page?

Well done, Mr. Scouries, well done.
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Last edited by jomar : 08-27-2007 at 04:23 PM.
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Old 08-27-2007, 04:21 PM   #31
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DeeZire
The best thing about Star Trek is the second William Shatner CD, called 'Has Been', released in 2004, cowritten and produced by Ben Folds. The disc is a pop masterpiece, featuring guest performances by Joe jackson, Aimee Mann, Henry Rollins, and Brad Paisley.

For those of us who might be considered 'past our prime' it is the perfect soundtrack to our pitiful lives. In fact, I would think Scouries would love it, if he could see the humor in making fun of himself. I think that's the difference between Scouries and Shatner - Shatner knows he's a buffoon, and he plays on it for laughs, Scouries doesn't even realize it.

For those familiar with the first Shatner CD, which featured his dramatic reading of 'Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds', the new disc is a total departure. It's actual music, with Shatner talking through the verses, and the guest artist (or choir) singing the chorus. The songs are heart-felt, the music is lovely, and it's in my top ten list, right next to Sgt Pepper.

Back on topic, I checked my score on the Nude Day contest, but I haven't looked since. We all write for different reasons, and appealing to the lowest common denominator is not a goal I strive for. As a famous songwriter said: "In a room full of 100 people, I would rather piss off half and have the other half tell me they loved the song than have all 100 say 'that was nice.'"
Shatner's awesome. Loved Common People!
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Old 08-27-2007, 04:32 PM   #32
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Daniellekitten
Can you believe that they are actually making a television program from the cavemen on that commercial?
I can believe they would do something with it (the Aflac duck too), like maybe a made-for-TV-movie. But a full series seems a bit of a stretch.



Quote:
Originally Posted by MarshAlien
Can you believe David Hasselhof is a judge on a talent show?
No. Especially hearing his attempt at singing during the finale.
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Old 08-27-2007, 05:00 PM   #33
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sr71plt
I can believe they would do something with it (the Aflac duck too), like maybe a made-for-TV-movie. But a full series seems a bit of a stretch.





No. Especially hearing his attempt at singing during the finale.
Yeah well he may not have talent but he has pretty eyes.

I thought scouries just stuck up another thread for us to use for stuff like this. My bad, there was a subject?
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Old 08-27-2007, 06:47 PM   #34
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Originally Posted by Daniellekitten
I thought scouries just stuck up another thread for us to use for stuff like this. My bad, there was a subject?
I thought the subject was buffoonery, but I'm easily confused.
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Old 08-27-2007, 07:34 PM   #35
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Lightbulb What topic????

Yes, I understand that staying on the topic can be difficult for many of you. In fact, I understand, given your advanced ages, that for many of you even remembering what day it is can be difficult.

So I’ll reintroduce the topic and remind you all that the point of this thread was to honor LITEROTICA’S GREATEST AUTHORS.

Not to get into another petty name calling fight. Listen, I’m sorry none of you guys made the list. But can’t you just let these wonderful authors have their moment?

Can’t you try to tamp down your jealousy and allow these MASTERS their time in the limelight?

I believe that if you all spent a little less time posting on these threads and a little more time working on your writing skills, that eventually even one of you might qualify for inclusion here.

For my part, in an attempt to diffuse your anger, I have decided to retire from this thread. Effective immediately I have transferred ownership of this thread to Gabriella L., a new hiree at ScouriesWorld. It will now be her responsibility to maintain and update this list. All future ‘scouries’ posts on this thread will be made by her. She has already started the process of contacting our honored 1000 vote story authors in an attempt to find even more of these gems.

Please be kind to her, she’s a real sweetie….

jim

p.s. and remember, these guys and gals on the list are simply the best!
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Last edited by scouries : 08-27-2007 at 10:45 PM.
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Old 08-27-2007, 08:49 PM   #36
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And in the background, the haunting strains of "How Great I Art" emerge from the PA system

Quote:
Originally Posted by daniellekitten
ETA: is that the one where Kirk falls for the pretty blonde.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarshAlien
Yes, this being part of the plot of every episode of Star Trek.
I always knew there had to be sex in "The Trouble With Tribbles" but must have missed Kirk and the blonde one.

And just FWIW, there's no way I could have had both of my hands raised. I was busy scratching my ass at the time (a full-time job).

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Old 08-27-2007, 09:26 PM   #37
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I love that episode.

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Old 08-27-2007, 09:52 PM   #38
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I love that episode.

I always wanted a tribble, instead I got a Pomeranian.
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Old 08-27-2007, 09:54 PM   #39
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I always wanted a tribble, instead I got a Pomeranian.
Do those breed as fast?
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Old 08-27-2007, 10:42 PM   #40
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Do those breed as fast?
God I hope not. Of course, I only have a female cat for him to...
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Old 08-27-2007, 10:48 PM   #41
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God I hope not. Of course, I only have a female cat for him to...
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Old 08-27-2007, 10:48 PM   #42
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Smile Gabriella...

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Hi, my name is Gabriella, Gabby for short, and I’m a fairly new employee of ScouriesWorld.

Mr. Scouries, my boss, has today given me the responsibility for this thread and the job of finding every Literotica story that has amassed 1000 VOTES.

FYI – I’m 19 yo and have spent the last 2 years at Miami-Dade College where I received an Associate in Arts Degree majoring in Photography and Theatre.

I’m a short haired blond, five-nine and about 121 pounds, with green eyes and a very fit body. I have one tatoo but I’m not going to tell you where it is or what it’s of.

I was Miami born (not many of us around!) and love everything to do with the water. I swam competitively in High School and love snorkeling, deep sea fishing, underwater photography, wake boarding, ocean kayaking, etc., etc.

I’ve been acting in school plays since I was five years old.

I met Jim, Mr. Scouries, one day a couple of months ago at Haulover Beach. We were both naked so when I was subsequently went for a job interview with him I felt no compulsion to dress up to impress him. He already knew all my secrets. And I his!

I’m not a virgin but so far have lived a fairly conservative life. I’ve slept with less than ten boys. And although 99.99% heterosexual I have also slept with one girl. I didn’t sleep with my boss to get the job!

I don’t shave my pubic hair – which was lucky by the way since ScouriesWorld does not hire girls who shave down there. It’s actually a condition of my employment and all female employees are checked once a month. Although I think that just might be a plow used by the boss to get us naked.

I’m single at the moment and now seem to split my party time between South Beach Hot Spots and Latino ‘Salsa Dancing’ Nightclubs.

When Mr. Scouries hired me he promised that he had various tasks that would utilise both my intertests and my abilities. And so far it’s been pretty good here (although, pssst boss, the pay could be higher). I’ve worked in the photography studio as well as having a part in the first ScouriesFilm production, “Swimming With the Dolphins” (if you see the film I’m one of the strippers who talks to Dani and her Dad when they visit the nude beach). It was my first ‘nude scene’ but it was ok, Jim directed the scene with a deft hand and everyone agrees my scene is very tastefully done.

Anyway I don’t want to talk tooooo much about myself. What I really would like is to hear from authors who have written stories that have amassed at least one thousand votes but so far haven’t been recognised here. I want it to be all about you guys.

And I do welcome comments from other interested parties but PLEASE, couldn’t we all try to keep it polite?

Thanks! And have a good day,

Gabby

* * *BREAKING NEWS* * *

We now have 84 1000+ stories!

Four “New” 1000+ stories have been found! And not surprisingly they come from Literotica’s most famous author – rgjohn. The following are the four new finds (they’ve been added to the list in post #1. this author now has twelve 1000+ vote stories, double his closest competitor! We also have an adjustment for the #2 story on the list. Its vote total has been adjusted upwards to 5549 votes.

1594 votes The Time of My Life 2001
1584 votes Morning Light Part 1 2001
1357 votes Morning Light Part 5 2003
1067 votes A New Life Part 1 2006
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Last edited by scouries : 08-28-2007 at 10:38 AM.
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Old 08-27-2007, 10:52 PM   #43
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Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart," all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart."

Dear politicians and/or assorted twats who are against immigration,

We would be glad to help you pack.

Sincerely, Native Americans
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Old 08-27-2007, 11:15 PM   #44
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I think I agree with your first response more, Cloudy...yawn.

Though if someone has gone to college for two years they should know it's ploy not plow, a plow is something you do to the earth, a ploy is a deceitful scheme.
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Old 08-27-2007, 11:27 PM   #45
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Daniellekitten
I think I agree with your first response more, Cloudy...yawn.

Though if someone has gone to college for two years they should know it's ploy not plow, a plow is something you do to the earth, a ploy is a deceitful scheme.
I bet she likes long walks in the rain, holding hands, and candlelit dinners, too.

*yawn*
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Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart," all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart."

Dear politicians and/or assorted twats who are against immigration,

We would be glad to help you pack.

Sincerely, Native Americans
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Old 08-27-2007, 11:31 PM   #46
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How odd. Miami born, and yet utilizes the British spelling of recognise and utilise. That looks somehow familiar, as though I've seen it somewhere before.

In poker, they call this a "tell".
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Lowborn Ch. 09

06/28/13
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Old 08-27-2007, 11:31 PM   #47
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Originally Posted by cloudy
I bet she likes long walks in the rain, holding hands, and candlelit dinners, too.

*yawn*
You forgot the Pina Coladas...
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Old 08-27-2007, 11:37 PM   #48
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Originally Posted by Darkniciad
How odd. Miami born, and yet utilizes the British spelling of recognise and utilise. That looks somehow familiar, as though I've seen it somewhere before.

In poker, they call this a "tell".
Brilliant.

Yet another alt, hmmm?

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Old 08-28-2007, 03:55 AM   #49
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Hello everyone. It's been like 9 months since I was a regular poster, so... hello!

It appears that I've walked into some odd personality play / conflict by being contacted by Gabby about this votes list. It's hard not to notice that the person organizing the list happens to have the story on the top of it. That said, I do see some usefulness to the thing.

If well-maintained, it can be a slightly different version of a Top Reads list that could help many in finding stories they might like. After all, not all popular stories are highly rated. If advertising to readers is the goal, I think it would be great, Gabby/scouries, if you 1) add links to the story so that someone can go read them easily, and 2) add the category it is in. For instance, I don't enjoy nonconsent stories, no matter how popular or well done, so I would like to know before clicking where the link is taking me.

Have fun doing the list.

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Old 08-28-2007, 09:08 AM   #50
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