Can it ever be wrong to fantasise?

krkjmst

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Hi all, brand new poster here. I'm posting this thread here cos I don't quite know where else to put it. So to any mods, please move it if it would be more appropriate somewhere else. My question is, can it ever be wrong to fantasise? I myself have fantasies which I'm sure would make even the most chilling psychopath retch, but unlike a psychopath, I know to keep these thoughts locked firmly within the realm of fantasy. Without describing what they are, for fear that they would churn stomachs, can they still be wrong? Can it be wrong to write and share with other consenting adults fictional stories concerning these fantasies? Or is it perfectly acceptable to fantasise about anything whatsoever? As long as it stays within the realm of fantasy. If anyone is interested in hearing what my fantasies are, I'd be very happy to discuss them in a private IM session, provided you have an exceedingly strong stomach, and accept as I do that fantasy is fantasy is fantasy, and do not condemn me because you find my thoughts too disturbing. They're only thoughts.
 
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hullo, i'm new here too,
but i believe fantasy is healthy, even the slightly disturbing ones. in the privacy of your own head anythig goes as long as it stays there, if it crosses the boundry, ie non-consenting or not an adult, then you have a problem...
personally i sometimes fanasize about being gang raped against my will...i never actually want it to happen but i still can get excited about it if i want.
if you feel your fantasies are a bit too strong, maybe you should talk too someone and truely confront it.
cowgirl
 
Hi cowgirl, nice to meet a fellow newbie. I feel that my fantasies are very strong, but not strong enough to ever overwhelm my moral instincts, or even interfere in any way with my day to day life. But it's just unfortunate to me the way many conservative minded people feel about certain fantasies, and don't believe they should even be written about, for fear they'll encourage sex offenders to carry them out. I believe that if you have the potential to be a sex offender, you don't need any encouragement from a story.
 
How do you know your fantasies are any stronger or worse than someone else's? You can't see what someone else is thinking, so how do you know there are others out there thinking things that might be worse than what yours are?

You might just be more in tune to your thoughts and maybe you are also sympathetic to other people's feelings and know they have rights and such that you shouldn't infringe upon.

This is a very nasty world. There are a lot of things going on in the underworld that most people have no idea about. Unless you are able to experience such things, you don't really know how sick some people are.

When you think about it, there really are two types of people with distubing fantasies. One type will have the fantasies and not act on them. The other type will have the fantasies and act.

Some people who think their fantasies are overly sick or dangerous might feel the need to talk to someone about them. They feel they might some day act on their fantasies and are troubled by that fact.

The only way for someone to know if their thoughts are worse than others is to find some venue where it's possible to voice their thoughts without being condemed for them.

It would allow people to safely express these thoughts and find out if they are truly bad, or if they are just normal thoughts we all have. But, society is very good at judging people for their thoughts.

In fact, the shrinks out there who treat people for their disturbing thoughts have some of their own that can be quite distubing. But, the difference between them and their patient? Their patient at least feels disturbed by their thoughts.

I'm quite sure there are a lot of sick people out there with worse thoughts than yours. The scary thought is, they don't care what others think and are looking for a victim at this very moment.
 
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I guess I could just never imagine any fantasies worse than my own. But I suppose you're right. I'm not a mind reader, and as long as I don't suffer some horrific brain injury that switches off the part where my conscience is, I shouldn't worry about them.
 
I think the only time disturbing fantasies become dangerous is if you obsess (sp?) over them and cease to find other, more tame scenarios arousing. The fact that you recognize that your fantasies might be offensive to others, considered extreme and harmful to people if you were to carry them out is a very good thing and not to be undervalued.

If you do feel able to share some of them here I am certain that people will respond sensibly. As you have already said, a fantasy is fine if that's where it begins and ends. You won't find a more supportive or tolerant forum than this one.

What has prompted you to ask this now, may I ask? I'm assuming you've had these fantasies and kept them to yourself until now. Have your fantasies become increasingly disturbing? Do you feel desensitized to them? Just curious.
 
VelvetDarkness said:
I think the only time disturbing fantasies become dangerous is if you obsess (sp?) over them and cease to find other, more tame scenarios arousing. The fact that you recognize that your fantasies might be offensive to others, considered extreme and harmful to people if you were to carry them out is a very good thing and not to be undervalued.

If you do feel able to share some of them here I am certain that people will respond sensibly. As you have already said, a fantasy is fine if that's where it begins and ends. You won't find a more supportive or tolerant forum than this one.

What has prompted you to ask this now, may I ask? I'm assuming you've had these fantasies and kept them to yourself until now. Have your fantasies become increasingly disturbing? Do you feel desensitized to them? Just curious.

Oh no, thankfully I don't obsess. There are other things I do fantasise about, maybe not quite to the same degree or extent, but fortunately I'm not just wrapped up in the one type of fantasy, although it is my favourite. As for sharing them here in public, I'm afraid that's something I wouldn't be comfortable with. I have no problem sharing them with an open minded person in an IM session, but they are about things that are illegal in real life, and whereas I have seen other people share those types of fantasies here from reading a few of the posts, it's just not something I could ever do myself. Actually, I only came out with my fantasies about a year ago to two people I trust more than anyone else in the world. They have become increasingly disturbing, but I'm in no way desensitised to them, thank God. I picture them happening in my head, and I feel great and get a lot of pleasure out of them. Then I imagine them happening in real life, and no thought makes me sicker. The kind of stuff that if it were to happen in reality, you'd want to kill the person responsible. Heinous times a million.
 
krkjmst said:
The kind of stuff that if it were to happen in reality, you'd want to kill the person responsible. Heinous times a million.

Damn, now you've got me wondering... :eek:

Well I wouldn't worry about ti too much if I were you. If the friends you told are still your friends then I'd call that endorsement enough for your good character.

Hope the posts you've had have reassured you.
 
I think lots of people have sick fantasies.. that's why movies like Hostel are so popular.. people fantasize about going to a place like that and having a person they can torture in any way they want..

it's nothing new.. why do you think the Coliseum of Rome was so popular? thousands of people got off on seeing people mutilated and killed in the arena..

the thing that makes a person "sick" in my opinion, is when they start seeking ways to act out those fantasies..
 
VelvetDarkness said:
Hope the posts you've had have reassured you.

Thank you, they have. And yes, those people are still my friends. My best friends in the whole world, and I couldn't be more grateful for them.
 
Byakuya said:
the thing that makes a person "sick" in my opinion, is when they start seeking ways to act out those fantasies..

Thank you, that's what I needed to hear. I've tried sharing my fantasies with people in chat rooms before and have been condemned as a sicko by people who, I guess, feel that if your fantasy is really sick, then you're really sick, and you're gonna carry it out. I would disagree with you somewhat though and agree with that type of person in that I do believe if you have really sick fantasies, you are kind of sick in a way. There must be something wrong with you psychologically to fantasise about those things. But it's the kind of sickness you can live with as long as those fantasies don't become reality.
 
well, without knowing the details of your fantasy, I wouldn't be able to say.. have you seen the movie Caligula? when they stabbed that guy and then the women used his blood as lubricant and then pissed on his body while he was lying there dying.. I found that scene to be a turn-on.. is it much worse than that?
 
Byakuya said:
is it much worse than that?

Yes. If you do wanna hear what it is, PM me, but take an antiemetic (an anti vomiting drug) first.
 
krkjmst said:
Oh no, thankfully I don't obsess. There are other things I do fantasise about, maybe not quite to the same degree or extent, but fortunately I'm not just wrapped up in the one type of fantasy, although it is my favourite. As for sharing them here in public, I'm afraid that's something I wouldn't be comfortable with. I have no problem sharing them with an open minded person in an IM session, but they are about things that are illegal in real life, and whereas I have seen other people share those types of fantasies here from reading a few of the posts, it's just not something I could ever do myself. Actually, I only came out with my fantasies about a year ago to two people I trust more than anyone else in the world. They have become increasingly disturbing, but I'm in no way desensitised to them, thank God. I picture them happening in my head, and I feel great and get a lot of pleasure out of them. Then I imagine them happening in real life, and no thought makes me sicker. The kind of stuff that if it were to happen in reality, you'd want to kill the person responsible. Heinous times a million.
It's good that you have fantasies. We all do. It's a normal part of life. And, it's not abnormal to have the type of fantasies that might be filled with danger or something that would include the control or abuse of another.

Many people have fantasies about rape, but the actual act itself is repulsive to them. They are only searching the sexual aspect of rough sex on the edge, and not the crime of doing it to someone who might not share those same thoughts.

By role playing, a couple can create and live out a scenario to their satisfaction. Two consenting adults, sharing a kink to mutual satisfaction. God, I think I'm making myself horny, here.

There are more than enough people out there who would share the same rape fantasy, so finding a partner for that is probably not that difficult. And the reward would be pure pleasure.

Like I said before, thinking certain thoughts is not unusual. And, if they give you pleasure that's fine, too. The mind needs to be fulfilled and sexual satisfaction is a great means of doing that. Masturbation is a great tool for living out fantasies in the mind and getting pleasure from our more kinky fantasies.

I have fantasies that would be considered illegal and I know I wouldn't like the result if I ever carried out those fantasies in real life. But, sexual release is necessary and masturbation is perfect for that. It helps us channel what others might consider less than social into an area of personal pleasure without harming others.

Don't dwell on your thoughts as abnormal. To do so would eventually make you feel selfconcious about them and maybe even inhibit your ability to carry on a relationship with someone.

We all have these types of thoughts. At certain times we all think ours are the worst. But, knowing that some of the thoughts we have wouldn't be socially acceptable, we don't try to inflict them on other people.

This means we are caring human beings and are aware of the rights and feelings of others and repsect those rights and feelings, as they do the same for us.

This is a social society. We make friendships and relationships based on what we like and love. Trusting others with our inner most thoughts can sometimes heal the fear that we're evil inside.

Those who have thoughts are not evil. Those who decide to carry them out at the expense of others are the evil ones. As members of society, we do what's necessary to be thriving, social members of the human race.

We find ways of satisfaction that don't cause that society to ripple or crack and we live out our lives among others who are doing the very same thing.
 
Thank you all for the reassurances. It makes me happy to know there are so many open minded people around. Makes a change from the kind I usually meet. What do people think about the publication of stories on the net of really sick fantasies? So many of the sites I have discovered are afraid of being shut down because of the conservative governmental backlash, Bush's need to control our thoughts. And also, what of toons and computer generated imagery? My opinion is, as long as the stories, even if they involve real people, aren't real themselves, and the imagery was not created with the use of real people in real situations, these things are perfectly acceptable. The government, however, thinks otherwise.
 
If you want to post on lit there are some guidelines for very extreme stuff. If they think it's too disturbing then it won't get posted on the site. I imagine there must be sites for extreme erotica but I've personally never gone looking for them. Be careful what you do log on to though because the more extreme your tastes are, the dodgier the sites are. What you view can be pulled out of your hard-drive's ass by the police no matter what your intention was when you viewed it.
 
Sick fantasies rock heheheeh

I've had a few of my own, which i'm sure would land me in jail if i ever acted on them.
 
@ VelvetDarkness: Oh don't worry, I know exactly the kind of sites I should steer well clear of, but thanks for the advice.
 
somberReality said:
Sick fantasies rock heheheeh

I've had a few of my own, which i'm sure would land me in jail if i ever acted on them.

I've always been fascinated by the thing that separates us from the psychos, the conscience. What exactly it is. I'm actually studying psychology in college, but unfortunately I've never been taught any kind of course on how we learn and maintain moral values.
 
krkjmst said:
Thank you all for the reassurances. It makes me happy to know there are so many open minded people around. Makes a change from the kind I usually meet. What do people think about the publication of stories on the net of really sick fantasies? So many of the sites I have discovered are afraid of being shut down because of the conservative governmental backlash, Bush's need to control our thoughts. And also, what of toons and computer generated imagery? My opinion is, as long as the stories, even if they involve real people, aren't real themselves, and the imagery was not created with the use of real people in real situations, these things are perfectly acceptable. The government, however, thinks otherwise.
I don't think it's the government so much as the religious right that has such a large hold on our society that is making these rules. They try to convert everybody into seeing life as they see it.

They think their way is the only way and by the use of morality, they call everybody who doesn't feel like they do a sinner in the eyes of God.

Personally, I believe in God. I know there is an after life and I know he is watching what I do on this earth. But, I also know he also created various forms of pleasure as temptations for us.

Not that we shouldn't indulge in these pleasures, but how we indulge in them is the key. Like we've said in the previous posts, how we live our lives tells a great deal about us as people.

Understanding our needs and desires is one thing, but also respecting the wishes of others is necessary if we are to be allowed to live in society.

So, finding ways to enjoy our little kinks without forcing others to view them or even hear about them, if they don't want to, is being thoughtful of other's wishes and it turns out good, for everyone concerned.

I feel the consenting adults idea is best. If you have two people who like something, that's great. But, if the third person doesn't like it, that person should not be forced to see it, live it, or even hear about it.

Two people in love, kissing in the mall. That seems like a small thing to some, but what about the people who don't have someone to kiss? Maybe they are lonely and seeing such a sight only brings that loneliness out that much more.

And, some people consider that too much of a display of affection. I don't mind it, but I know there are some who do mind it...they even find it distasteful and disrepectful of the people around you.

Sure, you're a couple in love. But, think of those who don't share your love and save these affections for when you are in private. It's working within a society.

I'm not a game player, but I have friends who enjoy the computer games and Gameboy, etc. I see them wrecking cars, killing people, shooting police, etc. and I don't like it.

But, I repect them their right to enjoy the game and leave it at that. As long as they don't go out and start doing that in real life, I have no problem with it. That would make me as society a part of it, and they would have to be removed from that society.

The same for videos and various forms of porn that are out there in the Internet. They have a right to be there and others who share those various forms of enjoyment...more power to them. But, don't try to include non-consenting parties, children and animals, or we as society will come and get you.

Children and animals don't have the understanding to participate in such acts. That makes it cruel. It can cause a lasting image on the minds of both, and so it's not considered legal, nor is it socially accepted.

I'm sure there are cartoons out there that show such things and I see nothing wrong with that, but there are some who think these images will feed the hunger in those who view it to the point they will go out and do things in real life, because they have been desensitized to it by the cartoons.

If that's found to be true, then I couldn't honestly say the cartoons are OK. So far, I don't believe in that mindset. It's said that the cartoons of my day were very voilent and I watched a lot of cartoons. I didn't turn out as a violent man because of those images. If that's so, how can the images of today be doing it?

I will agree that there are a certain group of individuals that might be brainwashed in that way, but I think they are such a small group that we can't stop the rest of those in society just to regulate those few.

I think a lot of things are OK, as long as those who don't want to see them or even hear about them are allowed their peace of mind, too. It's when someone takes their kink and parades it in front of those who are against it as if to say "this is legal and you can't stop me" that infuriates me.

This is only making the religious right's point. You are seen as antisocial and a problem that society can't tolerate. It might not seem much more than a little helpless prank, but eventually, those against it will win, because you are seen as the pervert and morality will be against you.

Be smart and be a good neighbor. Keep your grass mowed and don't play loud music after a certain hour. And if you play little sex games in the evening, pull your window shades so the little old lady next door doesn't see you an call the police.

It's also been said, a good fence makes a good neighbor. What she doesn't know, isn't going to hurt her. But, what she does know might eventually hurt you.
 
DVS said:
I'm sure there are cartoons out there that show such things and I see nothing wrong with that, but there are some who think these images will feed the hunger in those who view it to the point they will go out and do things in real life, because they have been desensitized to it by the cartoons.

If that's found to be true, then I couldn't honestly say the cartoons are OK. So far, I don't believe in that mindset. It's said that the cartoons of my day were very voilent and I watched a lot of cartoons. I didn't turn out as a violent man because of those images. If that's so, how can the images of today be doing it?

...

I think a lot of things are OK, as long as those who don't want to see them or even hear about them are allowed their peace of mind, too. It's when someone takes their kink and parades it in front of those who are against it as if to say "this is legal and you can't stop me" that infuriates me.

I don't think it will ever be found to be true. I don't think a cartoon or a story can "desensitise" someone. If a person is capable of going out and committing violent acts against a non consenting adult, or a child, or an animal, I think he or she has been desensitised from birth by something physically wrong with their brain. It has been shown that the brain functioning of a psychopath does differ from a non psychopath. Notice I don't say differ from a normal person, as what is normal? I think as long as your brain is OK, then you can be shown all the nasty, violent imagery or stories in the world, and it won't have an effect on you other than severely traumatising you.

I also wouldn't approve of those who would "parade" their kinks. Sharing them with open minded people who are willing to listen and talk about them, on the other hand, is certainly very reassuring, and sharing them with like minded people who you can trust is very satisfying.
 
When I was growing up, and even until fairly recently I thought the things I fantasized about were 'sick' and meant I was 'crazy' and there was something 'wrong' with me. Now I know differently. Okay, I dont think mine are extreme in the slightest (generally involved light bondage my darkest secret was a rape fantasy), but my point is its all a matter of persepective.

If yours really are 'extreme' then as long as they stay in the realm of fantasy, which youve said they will, what is the harm in that? You enjoy them, they do something for you and it doesnt hurt anyone else. *shrugs* That seems fine to me.

Obviously if it is someone that is then going to go out and act on them, then thats wrong, but thats not the situation here.

By all means, have fantasies and I hope you enjoy them.
 
there's certainly nothing wrong with fantasies, however extreme or perverse they may be. i have some pretty extreme fantasies myself, some that i've shared (with controversy), some so perverse that i would never share with anyone except my Master. as someone else stated, as long as the fantasies are not an obsession, and as long as you are able to find fulfillment in your erotic life without them, it's not a problem.

although the lit story section is definitely not a place for extreme erotica...i've become such a perv apparently that there isn't a single story on lit that's intense enough to push my buttons. all too frou frou warm and cuddly for me. but there are erotica sites which are completely unrestricted, where you will find stories on any and every taboo, fetish, perversion, etc. feel free to PM me for info.
 
krkjmst said:
My opinion is, as long as the stories, even if they involve real people, aren't real themselves, and the imagery was not created with the use of real people in real situations, these things are perfectly acceptable. The government, however, thinks otherwise.

you have to be careful if your stories involve real people.. if someone interprets the story as a threat, it could get you in trouble even though in your mind it's only a fantasy..
 
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