If you had 10 rules of safely meeting
- Thread starter WriterDom
- Start date
ecstaticsub
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- May 5, 2007
- Posts
- 3,389
Trust your instincts
Mine have never failed me.
Mine have never failed me.
the captians wench
sewing wench
- Joined
- Jun 16, 2005
- Posts
- 12,258
even the best of safety measures won't protect you from yourself, so I agree with the instincts thing, usually you're gut tells you when something just doesn't feel right, listen to it.
I also let more than one person know where I am, who I'm going out with, what we plan on doing and so on.
Then my mom is my personal security station. I tell her when I'm planing on meeting some one and set up a call time, from there she usually will call every so often to check in on me. She gets as much info on who I'm meeting as I can give her. Name, phone number, car, picture if I have one, the day's agenda. She knows everything I do. She takes good care of me.
I also let more than one person know where I am, who I'm going out with, what we plan on doing and so on.
Then my mom is my personal security station. I tell her when I'm planing on meeting some one and set up a call time, from there she usually will call every so often to check in on me. She gets as much info on who I'm meeting as I can give her. Name, phone number, car, picture if I have one, the day's agenda. She knows everything I do. She takes good care of me.
Blkhearted_Rube
Experienced
- Joined
- Jul 27, 2007
- Posts
- 33
If meeting someone from the internet for the first time, meet in "neutral" territory.
Netzach
>semiotics?
- Joined
- Mar 3, 2003
- Posts
- 21,732
Import whatever in your vanilla life kept you from wasting time with dangerous people and unhealthy people. If you don't have those tools get a set before you go any further.
Multiple people knowing where I was going and who with.
If you MUST play, if you MUST get it on in private, Get out of your high heels, know where the door is, and do your first bondage with other people around.
Multiple people knowing where I was going and who with.
If you MUST play, if you MUST get it on in private, Get out of your high heels, know where the door is, and do your first bondage with other people around.
Last edited:
BiaTcHiNFiRe
lost in my thoughts
- Joined
- May 30, 2006
- Posts
- 6,790
nevermind
Last edited:
SubKekiLee
DrkSwords pet
- Joined
- Jun 21, 2007
- Posts
- 2,593
Safety
I agree with allof your anwsers to ensure youhave a safety net and to trust your instincts cause they are generally right.. I can tell you first hand... things can go awry.. Cause I had a guy a long time ago who slipped something in my drink and tried to take advantage of me. it wasnt pretty..
I agree with allof your anwsers to ensure youhave a safety net and to trust your instincts cause they are generally right.. I can tell you first hand... things can go awry.. Cause I had a guy a long time ago who slipped something in my drink and tried to take advantage of me. it wasnt pretty..
Noor
Citizen of the World
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2003
- Posts
- 32,180
a few things in no particular order
1) if you are out at a club or bar, get your own drinks or go with the guy when he gets them, just twinkle at him and keep talking while he gets them.. Take your drink with you if you get for anything.
2) don't tell anyone you don't know really well and haven't met yet any violent or rape fantasies.
3) tell someone where you are going. Have a code for things going bad. Let the person know that people know you are with them. If this freaks them out or upsets them tough!
4a) check out your prospects before meeting them. Do a zabasearch on them, a reverse dial look up, google their screen name, email address.
4b) check them out on the various warning sites-http://dontdatehimgirl.com/, http://www.womansavers.com/, http://truedater.com/ If you suspect they are a player go to oodle.com's personal section,enter their particulars and see how many sites they come up on. I learned this recently from my lovely experiences on plenty of fish.
5) have your cell and some money on you.
6) do not get into a car with them. meet them somewhere or follow them. A car is one of the best weapons you can have.
7) meet somewhere public (and where you know people, if possible.)
8) Try not to let them know where you live.
9) be on the phone with a close friend as you drive to meet them for the first time. If they are in or near a car give the license plate number to your friend, and a description of the car. Also a description of them before you hang up.
10) block your number when calling them until you know them well enough. *67 does it in the US even on cell phones.
11)if a guy tries to pressure you into meeting him, or meeting him some where you are not comfortable that should be a red flag. If they say what are you scared of? or variations implying that you are not brave enough to meet them, just tell them you are not stupid enough to meet them and leave it at that. These are not guys you want to have anything to do with.
****BiaTcHiNFiRe I am so sorry that happened to you, and glad you survived it.
I have been meeting people from online for a very long time. There is one mailing list I am on that has been around since the late 80's and i have met many of them, even stayed at their houses. Until recently everyone has been just as good or better as they are online and that includes guys from lit, though none were meetings for sex.
Recently though I have met a few guys from www.plentyoffish.com who have been not so good, a couple whom I could see being real scary if I were alone with them. I list my interest as friends on there, and yet I get these guys whose main interest is sex, and they try to badger you into it. Well I am one of those people that if I feel pushed I just dig in my heels.
I love sex, but only among people I know and trust and that takes time and experience with someone. I am that way even in cyber and phone. If I wanted meaningless sex I could get it with a lot less hassle than meeting people on line. Its like buying new clothes, each person should be as good as or better than what you already have ;-)
1) if you are out at a club or bar, get your own drinks or go with the guy when he gets them, just twinkle at him and keep talking while he gets them.. Take your drink with you if you get for anything.
2) don't tell anyone you don't know really well and haven't met yet any violent or rape fantasies.
3) tell someone where you are going. Have a code for things going bad. Let the person know that people know you are with them. If this freaks them out or upsets them tough!
4a) check out your prospects before meeting them. Do a zabasearch on them, a reverse dial look up, google their screen name, email address.
4b) check them out on the various warning sites-http://dontdatehimgirl.com/, http://www.womansavers.com/, http://truedater.com/ If you suspect they are a player go to oodle.com's personal section,enter their particulars and see how many sites they come up on. I learned this recently from my lovely experiences on plenty of fish.
5) have your cell and some money on you.
6) do not get into a car with them. meet them somewhere or follow them. A car is one of the best weapons you can have.
7) meet somewhere public (and where you know people, if possible.)
8) Try not to let them know where you live.
9) be on the phone with a close friend as you drive to meet them for the first time. If they are in or near a car give the license plate number to your friend, and a description of the car. Also a description of them before you hang up.
10) block your number when calling them until you know them well enough. *67 does it in the US even on cell phones.
11)if a guy tries to pressure you into meeting him, or meeting him some where you are not comfortable that should be a red flag. If they say what are you scared of? or variations implying that you are not brave enough to meet them, just tell them you are not stupid enough to meet them and leave it at that. These are not guys you want to have anything to do with.
****BiaTcHiNFiRe I am so sorry that happened to you, and glad you survived it.
I have been meeting people from online for a very long time. There is one mailing list I am on that has been around since the late 80's and i have met many of them, even stayed at their houses. Until recently everyone has been just as good or better as they are online and that includes guys from lit, though none were meetings for sex.
Recently though I have met a few guys from www.plentyoffish.com who have been not so good, a couple whom I could see being real scary if I were alone with them. I list my interest as friends on there, and yet I get these guys whose main interest is sex, and they try to badger you into it. Well I am one of those people that if I feel pushed I just dig in my heels.
I love sex, but only among people I know and trust and that takes time and experience with someone. I am that way even in cyber and phone. If I wanted meaningless sex I could get it with a lot less hassle than meeting people on line. Its like buying new clothes, each person should be as good as or better than what you already have ;-)
shy slave
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2004
- Posts
- 8,255
Like Noor I have been meeting people from the net for a long time.
I have met all kinds of people, interesting, boring, strange, dull but not one of them has ever made me feel I was at risk.
I was on my way to meet someone and I changed my mind. Just turned the car around and drove in the opposite direction. Have since found out he had a strange fetish for hair and the first thing he had planned to do was shave my head! It would have been interesting to see him try and achieve that in the very busy pub we had planned to meet in.
My screen name does give men the idea I am shy and instantly slave like. For those of you here that know me, know they may have the wrong impression. I am shy (at times) and I am slave like at times. But not all the time for every man who happens to say 'Hi'
Prior to Andante and I meeting he sent me his citizen number and a copy of his passport, which I emailed to my sister for safe keeping.
At the time some people thought here thought that excessive. But was it? He was a someone I did not know, could not speak to his friends (due to a language barrier), had little idea of his culture and the hidden aspects of how to behave and act with people.
Therefore he did everything he could to make me feel safe.
My thoughts are:
* Tell more than one person who you are meeting, when.
* Have their personal information emailed to you, keep it on your hard drive and print it off. If you vanish the police will start looking through your personal things for ideas of what has happened.
* Trust your instincts, better to walk away and feel like an idiot than end up emotionally or physically scarred for life.
* Once you meet try and meet people they know as well. How other react around them is a good indication of whether they are a complete tosser or not.
I used to say meet in public, but I would be a hypocrite to advocate that now.
I never used to see the point of references from others, after all their friends will say nice things and I don't want to talk to other women about his 'Dom' or sexual abilities.
In a couple of weeks I am planning to meet a man I have never met before at his house.
The next day we are going to a play party. It is being held at a Dommes house. I emailed and called her to ask about this man. She was blunt, upfront and honest. She also said he was a decent man (a shame I was hoping he was a sadist) and I would be safe that weekend.
Considering I don't meet men in non-public places, or get references or ever ever ever go to play parties; I am wondering what I am doing. I am not worried about such changes, just curious about the mental changes that are emerging.
However, good or bad I will at least meet some new people
I have met all kinds of people, interesting, boring, strange, dull but not one of them has ever made me feel I was at risk.
I was on my way to meet someone and I changed my mind. Just turned the car around and drove in the opposite direction. Have since found out he had a strange fetish for hair and the first thing he had planned to do was shave my head! It would have been interesting to see him try and achieve that in the very busy pub we had planned to meet in.
My screen name does give men the idea I am shy and instantly slave like. For those of you here that know me, know they may have the wrong impression. I am shy (at times) and I am slave like at times. But not all the time for every man who happens to say 'Hi'
Prior to Andante and I meeting he sent me his citizen number and a copy of his passport, which I emailed to my sister for safe keeping.
At the time some people thought here thought that excessive. But was it? He was a someone I did not know, could not speak to his friends (due to a language barrier), had little idea of his culture and the hidden aspects of how to behave and act with people.
Therefore he did everything he could to make me feel safe.
My thoughts are:
* Tell more than one person who you are meeting, when.
* Have their personal information emailed to you, keep it on your hard drive and print it off. If you vanish the police will start looking through your personal things for ideas of what has happened.
* Trust your instincts, better to walk away and feel like an idiot than end up emotionally or physically scarred for life.
* Once you meet try and meet people they know as well. How other react around them is a good indication of whether they are a complete tosser or not.
I used to say meet in public, but I would be a hypocrite to advocate that now.
I never used to see the point of references from others, after all their friends will say nice things and I don't want to talk to other women about his 'Dom' or sexual abilities.
In a couple of weeks I am planning to meet a man I have never met before at his house.
The next day we are going to a play party. It is being held at a Dommes house. I emailed and called her to ask about this man. She was blunt, upfront and honest. She also said he was a decent man (a shame I was hoping he was a sadist) and I would be safe that weekend.
Considering I don't meet men in non-public places, or get references or ever ever ever go to play parties; I am wondering what I am doing. I am not worried about such changes, just curious about the mental changes that are emerging.
However, good or bad I will at least meet some new people
BiBunny
Moon Queen & Wanderer
- Joined
- Dec 7, 2005
- Posts
- 12,194
Don't lose your mind and go apeshit over someone you've never met just because he's a "Dom." He's a person you have NEVER MET, and he should be treated with caution until you've had plenty of real-time experience with him.
Unfortunately, the people most likely to need this advice are the people least likely to heed it.
Unfortunately, the people most likely to need this advice are the people least likely to heed it.
WriterDom
Good to the last drop
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2000
- Posts
- 20,077
Vanilla women take crazy chances. At least they did when I was in my "AOL chick" mode. They would take me into their house at night with no one knowing I was there. At least a sub has a chance of getting some safety education if she does some homework.
HottieMama
Notta Domme
- Joined
- Mar 16, 2007
- Posts
- 6,066
i knew about don'tdatehimgirl, but i wasn't aware of the others.
Thanks.
Last edited:
HottieMama
Notta Domme
- Joined
- Mar 16, 2007
- Posts
- 6,066
WriterDom said:
Nothing really...i guess you just have to take it with a grain of salt.
BiBunny
Moon Queen & Wanderer
- Joined
- Dec 7, 2005
- Posts
- 12,194
At the risk of sounding like a bitch, I think this is one reason to meet people locally and not all the way across the country (at least in the US, since it's so freaking big) or internationally. The reason I felt so safe meeting B. when I did is that we grew up in the same county, a mere 15 minutes apart; we'd just never met each other since he's 6 years older, and we didn't run with the same crowd. We knew some of the same people, and I did some asking around about him. (This is a really small, close-knit area.) He did the same about me. He asked me the day we finally met what made me decide to finally give in. I said, "If women who spent time around you had a bad habit of coming up missing, I'd have already heard about it." 
LadyAmaranth
Virgin
- Joined
- Jul 25, 2007
- Posts
- 13
I know one of the things I would do is to tell the person that I am supposed to call a friend at this time and if she does not hear from me, she has been instructed to call the police or someone else. It never hurts to be safe and if they do not like it, I would have nothing to do with them.
I wonder if the opposite situation has occurred. A woman meeting a man and him telling her some people know that I am meeting with you. Wouldn't that be interesting?
Instincts to play a lot into it and anyway, would you really want to get that involved with a person you have met for the first time, even if you talked to them a lot previously.
I wonder if the opposite situation has occurred. A woman meeting a man and him telling her some people know that I am meeting with you. Wouldn't that be interesting?
Instincts to play a lot into it and anyway, would you really want to get that involved with a person you have met for the first time, even if you talked to them a lot previously.
