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Old 08-11-2009, 10:07 PM   #6826
nh23
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The fact that I could peg the green lantern with lemon jello.
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Old 08-12-2009, 01:56 AM   #6827
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The look on my daughters face when I followed her under the table to get to the cherry jello. She still won, cause she can get off the floor faster, but she didn't figure I'd go after her! ROFL
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Old 08-12-2009, 04:11 AM   #6828
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Baiting a snot nose into a high speed pass on the right.

While the three seconds of testosterone filled glee may have felt good while you flew by four wheelers at 90 plus on your rice burner, it failed miserably in comparison to:
  • the ten seconds for the patrol car to catch you and make the traffic stop,
  • the ten minutes of laughter provided to those you passed after watching you bounce your helmet off the ground,
  • the 30 minutes for processing your reckless driving ticket during which time, the rest of us made it home,
  • the months of bus or buddy rides endured while your license is revoked,
  • and the hundreds of dollars you'll pay in increased insurance premiums.
In the future, check your six ... often.
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Old 08-12-2009, 04:36 AM   #6829
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AngelicAssassin View Post
Baiting a snot nose into a high speed pass on the right.

While the three seconds of testosterone filled glee may have felt good while you flew by four wheelers at 90 plus on your rice burner, it failed miserably in comparison to:
  • the ten seconds for the patrol car to catch you and make the traffic stop,
  • the ten minutes of laughter provided to those you passed after watching you bounce your helmet off the ground,
  • the 30 minutes for processing your reckless driving ticket during which time, the rest of us made it home,
  • the months of bus or buddy rides endured while your license is revoked,
  • and the hundreds of dollars you'll pay in increased insurance premiums.
In the future, check your six ... often.
It's things like this that make me remember why I like you.
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4/19/2014: Please forgive typos and other errors caused by only being able to type with one hand now. I *do* proofread, but may miss an error here or there. If/when I do, I apologize.

Legal Notice and Attorney's CYA Requirements: The author of this post is not an attorney, physician, or marital or sexual therapist or counselor (nor does he play any or all of the above on television). All opinions are offered only as the viewpoint(s) of an individual with a certain amount of life experience, and should not be considered to be legal, medical, or therapeutic/counseling advice.


Grammar: The difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.
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Old 08-12-2009, 02:04 PM   #6830
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir_Winston54 View Post
It's things like this that make me remember why I like you.
Trouble sleeping?

Getting her so hot at work she had to go in the bathroom and masturbate.
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Old 08-12-2009, 02:34 PM   #6831
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At my pre-admission appointment at hospital today (prep for an op in a few days' time), finding out my BP is fab and my heart sounds great, but especially having the doctor call the nurse over to listen to my lungs and saying how fabulous my lungs were, bright and clear and filling up right to the bottom, clean as a whistle. "Clearly you've never smoked", said the doctor. I had to tell her I smoked 20+ cigs a day for 19 years (gave up 5 years ago). I'm shitting bricks about the op, but I'm delighted with the state of my ex-smoker's lungs lol!
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Old 08-12-2009, 04:46 PM   #6832
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Nothing? Yeah nothing.

I am ungratefull bitch and all.
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"When I look into the eyes of my man, I see forever. I see warmth and safety. I see two hearts beating together for each other, for the rest of our lives."
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Old 08-12-2009, 05:14 PM   #6833
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"my mom is the female version of a daddy dom"

I'm STILL dying from that one!
 

Old 08-13-2009, 01:33 AM   #6834
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A good friend.....define special needs...........she is the greatest (not the friend that made me angry today)
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Old 08-13-2009, 01:57 AM   #6835
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir_Winston54 View Post
It's things like this that make me remember why I like you.
Same here.

(no I can't sleep, yes I'm still at training, yes I have class at 9am... Sigh.)
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Old 08-13-2009, 12:41 PM   #6836
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CutieMouse View Post
(no I can't sleep, yes I'm still at training, yes I have class at 9am... Sigh.)
I hope training is going well. Actually, "knowing" what I do about you, I'm sure it is.
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4/19/2014: Please forgive typos and other errors caused by only being able to type with one hand now. I *do* proofread, but may miss an error here or there. If/when I do, I apologize.

Legal Notice and Attorney's CYA Requirements: The author of this post is not an attorney, physician, or marital or sexual therapist or counselor (nor does he play any or all of the above on television). All opinions are offered only as the viewpoint(s) of an individual with a certain amount of life experience, and should not be considered to be legal, medical, or therapeutic/counseling advice.


Grammar: The difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.
[Jacked from Wenchie's friend's Facebook page. Thanks!]

If you or a loved one has been attacked by cancer
and you're not familiar with the "Fuck You, Cancer" thread,
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Old 08-13-2009, 12:45 PM   #6837
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What made me smile today?

Waking up and feeling immediately that I could breathe more deeply than I have in days, without having to work as hard at it.

Not coughing *once* until I read one of Dave's jokes in the "Crude" thread. Laughing can still trigger coughing, but it wasn't a *jag* like it has been. I'm getting over this damn bronchitis!
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Legal Notice and Attorney's CYA Requirements: The author of this post is not an attorney, physician, or marital or sexual therapist or counselor (nor does he play any or all of the above on television). All opinions are offered only as the viewpoint(s) of an individual with a certain amount of life experience, and should not be considered to be legal, medical, or therapeutic/counseling advice.


Grammar: The difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.
[Jacked from Wenchie's friend's Facebook page. Thanks!]

If you or a loved one has been attacked by cancer
and you're not familiar with the "Fuck You, Cancer" thread,
please feel free to click the button above.
 

Old 08-13-2009, 03:28 PM   #6838
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir_Winston54 View Post
What made me smile today?

Waking up and feeling immediately that I could breathe more deeply than I have in days, without having to work as hard at it.

Not coughing *once* until I read one of Dave's jokes in the "Crude" thread. Laughing can still trigger coughing, but it wasn't a *jag* like it has been. I'm getting over this damn bronchitis!
YAY!


So glad you're feeling better!
 

Old 08-13-2009, 03:32 PM   #6839
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Quote:
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YAY!


So glad you're feeling better!
I second that!
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"The moments when we awake, beside the one we love, are very special ones."
"When I look into the eyes of my man, I see forever. I see warmth and safety. I see two hearts beating together for each other, for the rest of our lives."
"Someone once asked me where I thought heaven was. I pointed to him and said, 'In His arms.'"
 

Old 08-13-2009, 03:39 PM   #6840
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As for what made me smile?

My A., my kids and one true friend.

Ohh and the fact that its evening!!!
I can finaly sit down and rest my ubersore feet. lol
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I am Jockdom's pet


"The moments when we awake, beside the one we love, are very special ones."
"When I look into the eyes of my man, I see forever. I see warmth and safety. I see two hearts beating together for each other, for the rest of our lives."
"Someone once asked me where I thought heaven was. I pointed to him and said, 'In His arms.'"
 

Old 08-13-2009, 04:45 PM   #6841
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gypsy*seer View Post
YAY!


So glad you're feeling better!
Quote:
Originally Posted by BiaTcHiNFiRe View Post
I second that!
Thank you both. I'm glad, too, and will be even more so when I feel *good* again. Right now, I'm still tired as soon as I get out of bed - hell, when I'm *in* bed - my nose is stuffy, my bronchi are still stuffy, but I'm happy as hell that they're not as stuffy as they *were.* Ah, well... I keep reminding myself, "It could be worse. It could be worse. You have friends for whom it *is* worse. KWITCHERBELLYAKIN!"
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4/19/2014: Please forgive typos and other errors caused by only being able to type with one hand now. I *do* proofread, but may miss an error here or there. If/when I do, I apologize.

Legal Notice and Attorney's CYA Requirements: The author of this post is not an attorney, physician, or marital or sexual therapist or counselor (nor does he play any or all of the above on television). All opinions are offered only as the viewpoint(s) of an individual with a certain amount of life experience, and should not be considered to be legal, medical, or therapeutic/counseling advice.


Grammar: The difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.
[Jacked from Wenchie's friend's Facebook page. Thanks!]

If you or a loved one has been attacked by cancer
and you're not familiar with the "Fuck You, Cancer" thread,
please feel free to click the button above.
 

Old 08-13-2009, 06:05 PM   #6842
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Oh, graaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaacieeeeee (and a bunch of others!):
Chocolate Helps Hinder Heart Disease
Marlowe Hood, AFP

Heart attack survivors who eat chocolate two or more times per week cut their risk of dying from heart disease about threefold compared to those who never touch the stuff, scientists have reported.

Smaller quantities confer less protection, but are still better than none, according to the study, which appears in the September issue of the Journal of Internal Medicine.

Earlier research had established a strong link between cocoa-based confections and lowered blood pressure or improvement in blood flow.

It had also shown that chocolate cuts the rate of heart-related mortality in healthy older men, along with post-menopausal women.

But the new study, led by Imre Janszky of the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm, is the first to demonstrate that consuming chocolate can help ward off the grim reaper if one has suffered acute myocardial infarction -- otherwise known as a heart attack.
Lots more at the original Discovery News article, linked in the headline above.
__________________
4/19/2014: Please forgive typos and other errors caused by only being able to type with one hand now. I *do* proofread, but may miss an error here or there. If/when I do, I apologize.

Legal Notice and Attorney's CYA Requirements: The author of this post is not an attorney, physician, or marital or sexual therapist or counselor (nor does he play any or all of the above on television). All opinions are offered only as the viewpoint(s) of an individual with a certain amount of life experience, and should not be considered to be legal, medical, or therapeutic/counseling advice.


Grammar: The difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.
[Jacked from Wenchie's friend's Facebook page. Thanks!]

If you or a loved one has been attacked by cancer
and you're not familiar with the "Fuck You, Cancer" thread,
please feel free to click the button above.
 

Old 08-13-2009, 10:03 PM   #6843
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getting a phone call after a shit day. I love when he welcomes me home with tortures, orgasms and dirty talk, and most of all his voice.
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Look ye to this woman, verily, as an example to all ye aspiring cocksuckers.

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Old 08-14-2009, 03:02 AM   #6844
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Just got my tickets for my flight to prague in october!
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The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts. Bertrand Russell
I smoke if that bothers anyone, I recommend you look around the world in which we live and shut your fucking mouth! Bill Hicks
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Old 08-14-2009, 07:41 AM   #6845
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Sir has slept most of the day on the machine so I know He will be up until the early hours. He's found a movie to watch at 10.30pm on the local community TV channel, in their "Schlocky Horror Picture Show" timeslot.

It's called - wait for it - "Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter" Oh Ma Gawd.....
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Old 08-14-2009, 09:55 AM   #6846
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Just got my tickets for my flight to prague in october!
This!

Cannot wait!!!!!
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"The moments when we awake, beside the one we love, are very special ones."
"When I look into the eyes of my man, I see forever. I see warmth and safety. I see two hearts beating together for each other, for the rest of our lives."
"Someone once asked me where I thought heaven was. I pointed to him and said, 'In His arms.'"
 

Old 08-14-2009, 02:34 PM   #6847
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My daughter and her best friend are fighting over a spot. Her friend will smack her butt and say 'GIMME MY SPOT' and they'll giggle, and then my daughter will smack her friends butt and say "MINE" and they'll both giggle.
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Think what a better world it would be if we all, the whole world,
had cookies and milk about three o'clock every afternoon and then lay down on our blankets for a nap.
~Barbara Jordan
*~*~*
Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
*~*~*
A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs - jolted by every pebble on the road.
~Henry Ward Beecher
*~*~*
You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old when you stop laughing.
~Michael Pritchard

*~*~*


My Stories
 

Old 08-14-2009, 02:42 PM   #6848
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My cats being silly, ehehe
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Old 08-14-2009, 03:17 PM   #6849
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Football tonight!

Not a real game but the cheerleaders will be real.
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Old 08-14-2009, 04:32 PM   #6850
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Shatner does Palin

Not, not like that, ya pervs. I'd watch it though.
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Millificent (aka "viv") and myinnerslut both call me "Master".
You can call me "Homburg". Still accepting Rope Bunny applications, of course.

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