the consentual non-consent scene???

......

First of all, I'm going to say be careful what you wish for. I enjoyed the one rape scene I've done, but it was way more intense than I expected.

The fear in mine was created by catching me off-balance. When I expected gentleness, I didn't get it. When I thought I was going to be slapped, I was choked, that kind of thing. He got into my head and exploited the things he found there. I have no idea how better to explain it, I'm afraid.

part of the problem for my fantasy scene is i want to fight back and be overpowered. if i think this is just another scene of ours, i wont fight back, i'll go with it. while what you describe bunny would bring about the fear, i still dont think i would fight back without knowing that i was allowed to. i would probably double my response time in order to try to please him out of both love, and fear. how does a scene get set up in which i know i am able to fight back, the fear is real, the emotions are real, and the whole thing doesnt feel staged??

The way I was treated at the beginning of mine pissed me off enough to fight back, in that "Don't put your hands on me!" way. Also, in the back of my mind, I knew that half the fun for the other party was having me fight back and inevitably overpowering me. Your mind has to be in two places at once--knowing that it's all a kind of game, but knowing that in a way it isn't.

Yeah, I need to go to bed. I'm not making sense at all.

I have done lots of nc "scenes" though they weren't usually identified as "okay, now I am going to something nc-like" - they just sort of happened. The prevailing emotion for me is terror, which is sometimes fun but most of the time it's upsetting.

I tried to get my top to do this, 'cause you live once.

Found out I have here a lover and NOT a fighter. My interest goes unsated, as this is something I'm not about to do with anyone else.

Netzach said:

I tried to get my top to do this, 'cause you live once.

Found out I have here a lover and NOT a fighter. My interest goes unsated, as this is something I'm not about to do with anyone else.

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Maybe I can change your mind someday. As a caveat I would not press charges if you manage to turn it all around on me. If you can.

Betticus said:

Maybe I can change your mind someday. As a caveat I would not press charges if you manage to turn it all around on me. If you can.

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Ok, that's just pervy.

Have you ever been had like that? The curiosity is killing me.

Object/violated/gangbang party favor, I'm convinced is a damn near universal fantasy, some of us are just more driven about it than others.

For me it's very very contextual. And it's even more interesting to see that it's off limits for my play partner, at least the physically overbearing hatefuck style of interaction. I can deconstruct that for days with this one, but nothing speaks volumes like a sudden limpie mid course.

Ahem.

This said, I have orchestrated this kind of experience before.

It helps to have friends, it helps to have muscle so you can really fight as much as you want to fight and KNOW you are not going anywhere. And it helps to do this outside in the remote nowhere. Both times I wrangled a victim it was far from the madding crowd, and I think you are way less likely to have problems.

Netzach said:

Ok, that's just pervy.

Have you ever been had like that? The curiosity is killing me.

Object/violated/gangbang party favor, I'm convinced is a damn near universal fantasy, some of us are just more driven about it than others.

For me it's very very contextual. And it's even more interesting to see that it's off limits for my play partner, at least the physically overbearing hatefuck style of interaction. I can deconstruct that for days with this one, but nothing speaks volumes like a sudden limpie mid course.

Ahem.

This said, I have orchestrated this kind of experience before.

It helps to have friends, it helps to have muscle so you can really fight as much as you want to fight and KNOW you are not going anywhere. And it helps to do this outside in the remote nowhere. Both times I wrangled a victim it was far from the madding crowd, and I think you are way less likely to have problems.

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If I go limp in that situation it doesn't mean I'm turned off. It's most likely that the desire to dominate has switched on and the walls are coming down and I'm letting my control go. Domination isn't always about sex but it is very, very sensual.

Netzach said:

Ok, that's just pervy.

Have you ever been had like that? The curiosity is killing me.

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Just that one time with my Domme buddy. It went back and forth, sometimes when I had total control she'd slip a hand onto my cock and seduce me with pleasure. She would play at giving in just enough to get the upper hand, push me down and mount me, fuck me till I relaxed then the little bitch would try to choke me down. It was an energetic evening...

myinnerslut said:

part of the problem for my fantasy scene is i want to fight back and be overpowered. if i think this is just another scene of ours, i wont fight back, i'll go with it. while what you describe bunny would bring about the fear, i still dont think i would fight back without knowing that i was allowed to. i would probably double my response time in order to try to please him out of both love, and fear. how does a scene get set up in which i know i am able to fight back, the fear is real, the emotions are real, and the whole thing doesnt feel staged??

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He could pick an argument with you, which could excalate to a full blown fight... and then that could escalate further...

Or if you really want to feel that fear (and careful what you ask for) he could nab you from the side of the road/drag you into a dark alley (or something), blondfold you & gag you...

Or he could slip something into your drink when you least expect it, so you wake up blinfolded & gagged in a strange place...

mmmm... I got an unhealthy array of these ideas...

Puman said:

He could pick an argument with you, which could excalate to a full blown fight... and then that could escalate further...

Or if you really want to feel that fear (and careful what you ask for) he could nab you from the side of the road/drag you into a dark alley (or something), blondfold you & gag you...

Or he could slip something into your drink when you least expect it, so you wake up blinfolded & gagged in a strange place...

mmmm... I got an unhealthy array of these ideas...

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the slipping something into my drink thing is out, medical interactions and all.

i suppose i only need the fear enough for it to feel real, unstaged. enough to inspire that fight or flight reaction. becuase the true focal point of this fantasy is fighting and losing. struggling . being overpowered. fear plays a lot in that, but we are going for fear, not unadulturated blinding terror. fine line, i know.

myinnerslut said:

i suppose i only need the fear enough for it to feel real, unstaged. enough to inspire that fight or flight reaction. becuase the true focal point of this fantasy is fighting and losing. struggling . being overpowered. fear plays a lot in that, but we are going for fear, not unadulturated blinding terror. fine line, i know.

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I hear you ! This one of my fantasies too. Finding the right level of fear / force, if there is such a thing, to make it 'real' is tough and different for everyone.

My suggestion would be to ask A to plan it carefully. Make sure he takes you unaware – even leave it so long that you think he's forgotten about it.

I too like the suggestion, put forward by Punman, of being blindfolded and gagged and doing it somewhere semi-public, like the alley will help with the reality element. Especially if it's cold and wet *strays into her own fantasy*.

Although I would strongly suggest that you don't try the 'pick a fight' option. There are too many risks involved with that idea – it would be easy for real issues to surface.

BTW – the extract of your email to A had me running for a cold shower *smiles*.

UK_Strawberry said:

Although I would strongly suggest that you don't try the 'pick a fight' option. There are too many risks involved with that idea – it would be easy for real issues to surface.

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especially with our big fight recently, i can almost garuntee the pick a fight element will go very very badly

Betticus said:

If I go limp in that situation it doesn't mean I'm turned off. It's most likely that the desire to dominate has switched on and the walls are coming down and I'm letting my control go. Domination isn't always about sex but it is very, very sensual.

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(lurking again)

RAWR!!! I don't know why, but that description is pervalicious! Thank you!!

myinnerslut said:

especially with our big fight recently, i can almost garuntee the pick a fight element will go very very badly

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Exactly what I was thinking.

There is another plus from doing this scene. Apart from the obvious !

If there are any resentments / feelings held back from the big fight you had this may be a way to release those for both of you without hurting each other emotionally.

myinnerslut said:

i would love to do a non-consent scene. the following is an excerpt from an e-mail i sent A.

"i want to fight. i want to push you away and be overpowered. i want to cry out for you to stop, just have have my cries ignored. your bigger then me, stronger then me. i wouldnt have to fake being helpless. you can easily hold me down when im trying to get away. youve done it before. i want to be helpless. to fight. to lose. to have the clothes ripped off my body, or cut off, or torn. i want to be pinned down or tied up. i want to fight. i want to scream and cry and be forced. to have my wrists pinned down with one hand while you do what you like with the other. dont ask me, just do what you want. take what you want. hurt me. use me. let me fight till the energy is drained out of me. let me struggle. laugh at how useless my struggling is. laugh at how i try to hide how much i enjoy it when you use me. laugh at how only a slut can enjoy being taken like this. helpless. vulnerable. humiliated by how my body responds even though my mind still fights. take me. force me"

A knows how much i want to do this scene and is willing to do it, but has been having problems with the logistics of it. i have consented to do the scene. with my safeword i have the power to stop it. so how does he create the neccesary fear? how does he create the conditions that he would need for this scene?

i know some of you (EG, for one) have done non-consent before, and any advice or ideas or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

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myinnerslut.........here's my take on the topic. I'm not talking to you directly,this is also directed to anyone who might come across this as interested parties in non-consent play.

Keep in mind that intense non-consent that I'm describing here is only for Doms who have common sense,knows when to checkup and can scene something this powerful and remain in control of themselves at all times. Total honesty on the part of the sub is very important in pre-scene negotiations,they should never overstate their case. Keep in mind that some things we hunger for cannot be mentally computed in pre-scene conversations. That goes for both orientations also.

The two parties MUST have a safeword. I suggest the red/yellow/green system. This goes a long way in making sure there's no confusion in the event of the sub having to halt or tone down the scene for their physical or emotional safety.

Once the scene is negotiated I suggest it be put on the backburner for a few days. This gives the sub time to drop their guard a bit and the Dom time to study and past conversations or any printed word the sub may have shared previously.

Serendipity in mandatory IMO. The element of surprize is a large part of what makes this work.

When the Dom decides to spring the trap he could send the sub out on an errand. This gives the Dom time to set the stage in the bedroom. Depending on the level of kink already being used in the relationship,this could be rope,cuffs,spreader bar..........or any impact instruments. Bondage is nearly always used in scenes of this type..............if the sub is not comfortable with bondage, consessions can be made. Hands on bondage or the sub being pinned down by the Dom can be substituted here if true bondage is not possible.

I would NEVER use anything within scene that has not been used before in previous scenes. Now is not the time to experiement IMO. Stick with tried and true props.

I suggest the Dom change clothes before the ''attack'' occurs............maybe camo or dark BDUs. A facemask and/or stocking over the head helps to look the part as well. Whatever the garb..........I suggest the Doms eyes be covered,it adds to the ruse of being taken by a stranger.

I prefer to ambush my ''victim'' as she comes through the door.............long before she expects anything. Again.............the element of surprize is key here.

In the begining of the scene it will be more physical,with few words used as you ''capture'' your intended ''victim''..............move quickly and with purpose.One may threaten the sub into doing what you wish as you ''capture'' them. Be mindfull of any ''hot word'' the sub has outlined as being outside of their limits of being used on them.

The Dom needs to be physically superior,or at the very least, physically more aggressive in the first stage of the scene. Personally............I will let my sub fight,but won't let her win. I might let her get away for a step or two...only to catch and reclaim her once again. Yes..........it's quite a mindfuck to think they have gotten away,only to be ''captured'' again.

If knifeplay is a part of previous scene activities..........one might use a butter knife to their sub's throat when you ambush them? Safety first mind you..............I would never suggest any edged weapon that coud possibily be harmful to either party during a struggle.

If one so chooses to go the knifeplay route........keep in mind that the effect of cold steele on your ''victims'' neck WILL have a powerful effect. The sub will either submit immediately or ramp up the intensity of their fight,due to the adrenaline rush brought on by fear. The Dom should always be prepared for a fight of unreal proportions at this point. Even those small in stature easily can overpower someone much larger in times of pure fright.

Once the ''victim'' is overpowered and totally control, the scene can take any direction that has been previously negotiated within the hard limits of the sub.............YMMV?

Again.........I pesonally would not experiement with new activities or sensations during this intense scene.

Non-consent play is VERY intense if both partners are truly into this.........

For the first time I would suggest toning down a bit. One can always ramp up the intensity in later scenes...............If things get out of hand during the first time at bat it could leave someone emotionally scarred and ruin what could be very enjoyable both partners.

what might make it more real is for the violater to cross some lines, e.g. agreed upon things, though not so much as to put you in hospital.

if you have said, 'nothing up the ass,' then he does it; if you have said,
'no blindfolding' , he does it. if you have said, 'no audience', there is one. enough of those things and you will first be angry, then afraid.

there are also bodily things you cannot control.

it is tricky to get beyond a staged scene with pretend reactions; these are usual in SM play.

--
PS, in response to the posting above, from Southern, i do NOT recommend knives or weapons of any kind.

I've found that having my weak girliness taunted during a nc scene will make the sammy in me fight even if my inner sub is reticent.

Surprise is definitely key but like others have said I'd save other boundary pushing. Although you have your safeword it's better to push one envelope at a time.

My first nc came about when I was really not in the mood for sex. I had a headache and was at the wrong end of a crap day with PMT descending like a red cloud. I told him exactly where to stick his dick. My Dom/bf couldn't believe my audacity and decided simply to take what he wanted. I was so shocked that I fought back and things just escalated. Not planned or agreed or advisible but very very hot

Pure said:

what might make it more real is for the violater to cross some lines, e.g. agreed upon things, though not so much as to put you in hospital.

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This is what happened in mine. Like you said, it frightened me, and it made me angry. The realization that there was nothing I could do to get away made it that much more intense. Mine was a very brutal experience, and I didn't like a lot of what happened. But that was the whole idea. I was ok once it was over. I don't know if everyone who wants a rape/non-consent scene would necessarily want it that way, though. In my own, I had no trouble "getting into character" because I was more or less forced there.

hmmm.........this is interesting...

thank you all for your ideas, keep em coming, you guys are amazing.

i will be showing this thread to A to help him come up with some ideas. the downside of this (which struck me this morning) is that i see everything you guys type.

soooo.... if any of you domly types (or subly types) have some things you would like to suggest to A, but that it would be better that i, the pyl on the recieving end, shouldnt see, just PM them to me with the title "ideas for A" or something like that and i wont read them. promise.

does anyone have experiences with nc used as punishment...?

timaea said:

does anyone have experiences with nc used as punishment...?

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That just screams Very Bad Idea to me.

please bear with me....very, very new........i'm just wondering if anyone have ever experienced this....?
myinnerslut, i'm very glad you brought up the nc subject....i'm excited to follow this thread...