Mail Order Cuckoldress

[anton2148]

My idea is that a 38 yr old underendowed man orders a stunning virgin mail order bride who will not sleep with him until they are married. He lives in Las Vegas and owes money to the mob that he borrowed for his gambling habit. Long story short on the night after their drive thru wedding goons show up to harrass the guy for their money. They beat him nearly to death and while he is unconcious his new bride begs them to spare his life. She agrees to work at a bunny ranch that the mob owns in order to help pay off her husbands debt.

When she calls him from the ranch he finds out about the agreement that she made about how she saved his life. She agrees to keep him abreast of everything that happens every morning when she comes home from work which leaves him very arroused. She is usually too worn out to have sex with him so she just gives him a 69 while telling him what happens with her hung clients.

She befriends some of the other whores and starts doing BDSM with some of her submissive clients. Her whore friends reccomend she brings some of those games home to her husband because it solves her problem of being too raw to have sex after her shift. She starts humiliating him about his size and using a strap on on him. She enjoys the sex she is having so when the debt is paid off she lies to her husband and tells him that the mob put a ton of interest on the loan and because of all the fees she pays to work out of the Ranch she is far from paying off the debt. She tells him that as a solution she will do in-house and call girl work from home in addition to working out of the ranch. She is no longer asking and is now dictating the way things are going to go.

At this point her husband begins to hide in the closet while she is with her clients. She tells him that since she is paying off his debt that he must go down on her in return to prepare her in between sessions which leads to creampie eating. for his birthday she brings one of her middleaged whore friends from the ranch to have sex with him as well as dominate him which leads to fisting which turns him on more than ever.

The husband runs into one of the goons who used to pimp his wife out and finds out that she is no longer paying off his debt and that she must be keeping the money for herself. When he tries to confront her about it she admits the truth but tells him she has made enough money from hooking to leave him and that if she divorces him she will get the house after telling the judge he forced her to turn tricks out of their home which her whore friend will testify to. This leads to the conclusion of the story.................

(edited to say I want someone more experienced to write this story)

[bareman]

sounds interesting and well-thought out...I say "Write it up."

[Carnevil9]

Are you asking someone to write it? Or asking if you should write it? I say you should, you have a good start......Carney

[anton2148]

I want someone else to write it as I don't have any experience writing stories

[Carnevil9]

Looks to me like your writing is better than 75% of the stories already posted on this site. C'mon, give it a shot!

[BedtimeStories77]

You certainly do have a well thought out plot here. Me, personally, I don't know if I'd add BDSM to the "same" tale, though. It may make it too busy. In my opinion, for a good author to write this, it would be a long tale.

I think it would be a fun read.

[wehstar]

Have to agree - if you have anything like the time, I'm sure you have the ability to write it out yourself - the only way to ensure it is just right.

Whoever ends up writing it, the best solution would probably to turn it into on of those several chapters things.

[anton2148]

Originally Posted by wehstar

Have to agree - if you have anything like the time, I'm sure you have the ability to write it out yourself - the only way to ensure it is just right.

Whoever ends up writing it, the best solution would probably to turn it into on of those several chapters things.

Yeah I thought it should be like a 5 chapter story

[alias x]

Originally Posted by anton2148

My idea is that a 38 yr old underendowed man orders a stunning virgin mail order bride who will not sleep with him until they are married. He lives in Las Vegas and owes money to the mob that he borrowed for his gambling habit. Long story short on the night after their drive thru wedding goons show up to harrass the guy for their money. They beat him nearly to death and while he is unconcious his new bride begs them to spare his life. She agrees to work at a bunny ranch that the mob owns in order to help pay off her husbands debt.

When she calls him from the ranch he finds out about the agreement that she made about how she saved his life. She agrees to keep him abreast of everything that happens every morning when she comes home from work which leaves him very arroused. She is usually too worn out to have sex with him so she just gives him a 69 while telling him what happens with her hung clients.

She befriends some of the other whores and starts doing BDSM with some of her submissive clients. Her whore friends reccomend she brings some of those games home to her husband because it solves her problem of being too raw to have sex after her shift. She starts humiliating him about his size and using a strap on on him. She enjoys the sex she is having so when the debt is paid off she lies to her husband and tells him that the mob put a ton of interest on the loan and because of all the fees she pays to work out of the Ranch she is far from paying off the debt. She tells him that as a solution she will do in-house and call girl work from home in addition to working out of the ranch. She is no longer asking and is now dictating the way things are going to go.

At this point her husband begins to hide in the closet while she is with her clients. She tells him that since she is paying off his debt that he must go down on her in return to prepare her in between sessions which leads to creampie eating. for his birthday she brings one of her middleaged whore friends from the ranch to have sex with him as well as dominate him which leads to fisting which turns him on more than ever.

The husband runs into one of the goons who used to pimp his wife out and finds out that she is no longer paying off his debt and that she must be keeping the money for herself. When he tries to confront her about it she admits the truth but tells him she has made enough money from hooking to leave him and that if she divorces him she will get the house after telling the judge he forced her to turn tricks out of their home which her whore friend will testify to. This leads to the conclusion of the story.................

(edited to say I want someone more experienced to write this story)

One would hope that he wouldn't even consider stopping her, and would apologize at this point. Her previous decisions have saved his life, so if she wishes to continue than he should not only thank her but should continue to love her. His motivation to allow her to dominate him might partially be because he enjoys being dominated but the primary motivation should be love. Whether that love is returned would be a decision for the author.

[emap]

I don't know, 5 chapters seems rather short for something like this. I mean we are talking about a mail order bride, should have the picking her out part to. Especially since those russian bride one's basically whore the girls out to the visiting guys, many of whom don't pick a wife they screw as many as they can and go home.

So figure a couple chapters picking out the right woman for him. Another chapter of her flying in and his excited waiting for her, ending with her arriving.

Then of course you have wedding and honeymoon say, at least one chapter there. After that, well then you can do the running into goons, or if you split wedding and honeymoon into two chapters they are on the cruise. So then say three+ chapters of her whoring at the bordello, well possible to do two but hard to squeeze in the BDSM stuff, rare to find someone hooked on it right off the bat unless they have tried it before.

So after that, you have one or two more chapters where she has paid off his debt and then he finds out and she domme's him.

Right there your looking at 10 chapters or so, could squeeze it a little down to maybe 7 if you make long ass chapters. Or you could go longer, by alot if say each time there is sex, the chapter ends.

Ok, no I am not planning on writing this, I have so dang much on my plate as it is goodness knows when I could get around to starting let alone finishing.

[anton2148]

no takers?

[snooper]

Originally Posted by anton2148

no takers?

I agree with the others, you wrote the plot out competently, and we all have to start somewhere. Why don't you try writing the first part - say as far as the end of the first paragraph of the summary - and go over to the Editor's Forum to enlist the help of an editor/mentor? I'm sure one of them will help.

[anton2148]

Originally Posted by snooper

I agree with the others, you wrote the plot out competently, and we all have to start somewhere. Why don't you try writing the first part - say as far as the end of the first paragraph of the summary - and go over to the Editor's Forum to enlist the help of an editor/mentor? I'm sure one of them will help.

.........................

[BedtimeStories77]

Originally Posted by anton2148

well I am a film student...I guess I should practice my writing

Good boy. lol

[anton2148]

bump!

[DarkPleasures]

I'm guessing that by writing "bump" six years later you never wrote this?