The SCOURIES reader – for both fans and serious scholars…

[scouries]

D E L E T E D

[BlackShanglan]

Originally Posted by cloudy

He's the "THREADMASTER."

Are you the "POSTKEEPER"?

*howls of horsey laughter*

Oh, thank goodness. I thought I was the only one with visions of Rick Moranis haunting the streets of New York.

[starrkers]

Originally Posted by BlackShanglan

*howls of horsey laughter*

Oh, thank goodness. I thought I was the only one with visions of Rick Moranis haunting the streets of New York.

*snort*
Oh, not by a long chalk! I had that image too.

[scouries]

D E L E T E D

sweetsubsarahh.

[Oblimo]

THE DOLPHINS ARE PLAYING OUR HOME GAMES IN LONDON NOW

"OH, SHIT," SAYS HUMANITY

[scouries]

D E L E T E D

[Vermilion]

Originally Posted by scouries

Now I know why my great, great, great, great grandfather decided to hop on a ship and come to America. Thank you sir!

Or maybe he was a big a twat as you are, only England had the sense to boot him out. buh bye now.

x
V

[scouries]

SAME OLD, SAME OLD!!!

I think everyone can see the pattern:

1 – Write a story in a category that has a very small audience.

2 – Have all your AHer chums vote and comment on it. (Beg if you have to)

3 – Discourage our normal Literotica readers from voting on it.

4 – Use your ALTS judiciously.

5 – Send e-mails and PM’s constantly to her highness Laurel III demanding that any vote under five be immediately jettisoned. How its soooo unfair you got a four.

6 – Collect your prize when it’s your turn.

* * * * *

[English Lady]

*L* thanks for the laugh, scouries.

I jsut saw you'd posted to this thread and I thought. "I bt he's moaning aout not winning the halloween competition and how it's not fair."

And well, bingo.

*chuckles*

priceless entertainment

[Vermilion]

OH MY GOD! OUCH OUCH OW - FUCKING HELL!

Those grapes!

They're so *sour*!

[sr71plt]

Originally Posted by scouries

Fushionee is apparently 2 different people which right off the bat should disqualify them.

All that other "stuff" aside, why should coauthored works be disqualified (beyond the fact that they aren't)? I've found that it's harder and more time intensive to write coauthored fiction than as a single author. What evidence do you have to the contrary?

Oh, and I guess the strategy of getting out of the country to play didn't work out too well for the Dolphins, did it? I'd jabber on about that but the Redskings got buried.

[MarshAlien]

Originally Posted by sr71plt

All that other "stuff" aside, why should coauthored works be disqualified (beyond the fact that they aren't)? I've found that it's harder and more time intensive to write coauthored fiction than as a single author. What evidence do you have to the contrary?

Oh, and I guess the strategy of getting out of the country to play didn't work out too well for the Dolphins, did it? I'd jabber on about that but the Redskings got buried.

It's because they're two "different" people. If they were two of the same people it would be fine. The only different people in Scurveyworld are people who aren't cousins.

[starrkers]

Originally Posted by scouries

116,000 literoticans read my Halloween story…

Sorry, you'll have to remove 1 from that score. I opened your story, read three pars and clicked away. So that view was NOT a 'read'.

Originally Posted by English Lady

*L* thanks for the laugh, scouries.

I jsut saw you'd posted to this thread and I thought. "I bt he's moaning aout not winning the halloween competition and how it's not fair."

And well, bingo.

*chuckles*

priceless entertainment

Oh, EL don't you feel sorry for him? I mean, his teensy weensy feelings are hurt.

[Darkniciad]

*chuckle* You're so predictable, scouries.

Now, why don't you dig into the comments on entries from people who never visit the forums or the AH? As I've pointed out to you ( in one of your multiple personalities ) before, you'll find quite a few comments from your "usual suspects" on those stories as well.

Once again, The reason there are a lot of comments from us is that we actually take the time to comment more frequently than your average reader. As writers, we understand how much that feedback means.

I know you comment a lot too, but praising your own stories with anonny comments really isn't the same.

Also - again - the sheer percentage of AH visitors who enter the contests just might have something to do with at least one placing a lot of the time, don't you think?

I can't believe I just said "Don't you think" *laugh* You answer that question in the negative every time you post.

Disenfranchised by the site that pays you massive royalties because you're their best-selling cash cow... *snicker* *guffaw*

[neonlyte]

Originally Posted by scouries

...
116,000 literoticans read my Halloween story…

Didn't think much of it then, did they?

Wish I'd known you were going to London, we could have had a duel on Hampstead Heath.

[impressive]

Originally Posted by scouries

The lesbians invariably slip one of their’s into the winners circle every contest.

Goooooooooooooooooo, Lezbeans!

[TE999]

This latest Scouries-Gram (misspelling intentional) is a laff a minute.

Disparaging both the contest winners and the people who voted for them.

In my case I voted for those folks because I enjoy their work and I know most of them. I voted for many others as well. Not you of course for obvious reasons.

How one person can carry such a load of paranoia in their head and not have it explode is beyond me.

ciao

[cloudy]

Originally Posted by TE999

This latest Scouries-Gram (misspelling intentional) is a laff a minute.

Indeed. His selective morality is most amusing.

[Darkniciad]

The pitiful number of comments should speak for itself, scouries. Even those who said they liked it said it wasn't up to your usual standards.

( which I believe defies the laws of physics )

I've said it before, you're a one trick pony, and that one trick isn't even that good.

Scouries readership upon viewing his latest masterpiece:

[babyfuckmommyplz]

Originally Posted by scouries

SAME OLD, SAME OLD!!!

You said it, brother! Here, let mommy wipe the snotty little nose. That's better. Don't let the big boys and girls see what a cry-baby you are.

Originally Posted by scouries

Christ it’s enough to make you throw up:

Shock Radio
by slyc_willie
Female?
25 votes and 4.96


Queen of Pain
by Fusionnée
Aka ABTRUSE female? and
Nirvannadragones female?
34 votes and 4.88


Down
by Varian P
Female
38 votes and 4.87


The Haunted House Club
by Five_Eight
Male?
28 votes and 4.86
Alt? (surprise, surprise, just happened to join this month)

ONLY 1 2 5 TOTAL VOTES!!!! On four stories???

Shee-it, I’m embarrassed when a story of mine only receives less than 200 votes. Four great stories and they receive 125 total? Christ, not one of these stories was popular enough to even qualify for the monthly contest.I’d hate to ask how many people actually read them.

116,000 literoticans read my Halloween story…

Yes. And others of us are embarassed when our stories aren't good enough for our devoted readers to rate them above...what? a 3? a 4? Just what did your story, with its many votes, rate?

And aren't you using the word "read" kind of loosely? Be honest. You know that most of the people who opened your story clicked out long before they got to the end of page one. Don't you?

Originally Posted by scouries

I’ve run both into fushionee and varian before. In the annual contest last year both were caught bending the rules. And this is how they’re rewarded?

Fushionee is apparently 2 different people which right off the bat should disqualify them. One, ABTRUSE, I just ran into on ScouriesWorld. She’s posted some 45,000 times on the site. The other ones gay and from the UK. And I definitely don’t want to hear anything more about that wonderful land across the pond. Who knows how many times she’s posted. You gotta wonder if all three voted on the story (fushioee, abstruse, nirvana)?

You mean, people with alts might use their other identities to vote multiple times, on their own story, illegally? Good thing we all know YOU don't have any alts, so we know each and every one of your 'reads' is 100% legitimate. Whew!

Originally Posted by scouries

The lesbians invariably slip one of their’s into the winners circle every contest.

Yup. You know how them there homos and womens and coloreds iz.

Originally Posted by scouries

Varian actually somehow entered a 2004 story in the 2006 Sexiest Female Character contest. That’s about all you need to know about her.

See, what's funny here, is that Fusionee and Varian didn't enter the annual contest, or 'bend the rules' as you libelously claim. The reading public, whose lack of voice you decry in this very post, suggested those stories for those awards. Do you care that the public be heard? Or...wait, what is it you really want?

Originally Posted by scouries

I think everyone can see the pattern:

1 – Write a story in a category that has a very small audience.

2 – Have all your AHer chums vote and comment on it. (Beg if you have to)

3 – Discourage our normal Literotica readers from voting on it.

4 – Use your ALTS judiciously.

5 – Send e-mails and PM’s constantly to her highness Laurel III demanding that any vote under five be immediately jettisoned. How its soooo unfair you got a four.

5 – Collect your prize when it’s your turn.

This was very instructive. These five steps DO appear to be the more effective route to contest success, as opposed to THE SCOURIES METHOD:

1 - Write a story in a category that has the biggest Literotica audience, BUT

2 - Write so poorly that thousands of "readers" give the story a poor average rating.

3 - Moan and cry when the Lit readers fail to validate the author's deluded notion that his stories are better than those acknowledged in contest after contest after contest.

Originally Posted by scouries

BUT WHERE’S THE READING PUBLIC IN ALL THIS????

You know, the hundreds of thousands of men and women who come here everyday looking for a good story to read.

You mean the ones invited, on the front page of the site AND in the story index, to read and vote on the contest entries? That public?

If the “public” voted on every story they read, the Ahers could probably each conjure up ten alts apiece and not put a dent in the ratings. But the public doesn't give a crap about you or the Halloween contest. They just want to read for pleasure. If your story didn't give them that, despite being in the best-loved Lit category, it's probably because your story sucked a little more than you realize, not because the wimminz and the lezbos stole the trophy that was rightfully yours.

[matriarch]

Originally Posted by babyfuckmommyplz

You said it, brother! Here, let mommy wipe the snotty little nose. That's better. Don't let the big boys and girls see what a cry-baby you are.

Yes. And others of us are embarassed when our stories aren't good enough for our devoted readers to rate them above...what? a 3? a 4? Just what did your story, with its many votes, rate?

And aren't you using the word "read" kind of loosely? Be honest. You know that most of the people who opened your story clicked out long before they got to the end of page one. Don't you?

You mean, people with alts might use their other identities to vote multiple times, on their own story, illegally? Good thing we all know YOU don't have any alts, so we know each and every one of your 'reads' is 100% legitimate. Whew!

Yup. You know how them there homos and womens and coloreds iz.

See, what's funny here, is that Fusionee and Varian didn't enter the annual contest, or 'bend the rules' as you libelously claim. The reading public, whose lack of voice you decry in this very post, suggested those stories for those awards. Do you care that the public be heard? Or...wait, what is it you really want?

This was very instructive. These five steps DO appear to be the more effective route to contest success, as opposed to THE SCOURIES METHOD:

1 - Write a story in a category that has the biggest Literotica audience, BUT

2 - Write so poorly that thousands of "readers" give the story a poor average rating.

3 - Moan and cry when the Lit readers fail to validate the author's deluded notion that his stories are better than those acknowledged in contest after contest after contest.

You mean the ones invited, on the front page of the site AND in the story index, to read and vote on the contest entries? That public?

If the “public” voted on every story they read, the Ahers could probably each conjure up ten alts apiece and not put a dent in the ratings. But the public doesn't give a crap about you or the Halloween contest. They just want to read for pleasure. If your story didn't give them that, despite being in the best-loved Lit category, it's probably because your story sucked a little more than you realize, not because the wimminz and the lezbos stole the trophy that was rightfully yours.

Bravo, well said.

[matriarch]

Originally Posted by Vermilion

OH MY GOD! OUCH OUCH OW - FUCKING HELL!

Those grapes!

They're so *sour*!

Indeed.

[matriarch]

Originally Posted by impressive

Goooooooooooooooooo, Lezbeans!

LOLOLOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

Porridge snort -

ummm. you can have a thousand alts ...........s'not gonna make any difference to your votes or your score cause the score and votes go per ip address and not per "person"

if you didnt know that .......... and you say you know the rules of contests?

get a life.