Old 09-27-2011, 06:03 AM   #4626
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Dear My Muse,

Why can't you be turn-on-able, like a faucet? I'm only 16 measures in and I'm already out of ideas. I need some jazz chords and a way to kick-start the tempo, stat.

Don't abandon me now. You've already helped me write 16 of the best and most dramatic measures I've ever managed. We've got something good going here, I just know it. Come back and let's finish what we started.

with love and pleading,
~me
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Old 09-28-2011, 11:57 AM   #4627
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Dear Powers that Be~

Please just make something easy for me. I do my very best to be a good person, help others and make the world a little better of a place. And yet my kitten hates me, my landlords forclosed on the sweet home I was renting, moving is awful and I can't seem to find my brush...a little help would be great, thanks ever so much!

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Old 09-28-2011, 09:22 PM   #4628
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Well it’s Wednesday and aunt gabby and mr scouries go out to dinner and leave this new garbage for me to dispose of! It seems like we’re getting more and more each day. My aunt’s philosophy is that if you’re going to pee in our pool you better expect that someone is going to pee in yours! The QUEEN was invited to solve this quietly with a few words to the offending parties but so far she’s chosen not to.

If you’re new to this thread and can see this post let me just explain: three AHers, the dumb texan, misshick and miss odious have seen fit to repeatedly post the following (and other similar garbage) on various of the ScouriesWorld threads. We will return the favor as long as they continue their silly actions. Today’s come from the upper penisula … I will try to spread it around the threads so misshick doesn't smell up any one thread too badly… and we'll try to keep it to threads started by her enablers...

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[quote=misshick]






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Old 09-28-2011, 10:36 PM   #4629
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Dear X,

You are going to have regrets. You will lose the essence of you.
Sad.

Guenivere
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Old 10-09-2011, 09:45 PM   #4630
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Dear X-

How could you have sent such a callous reply? I spent close to an hour composing that five sentence email. Do you have any idea how awkward it was for me to have to explain something so personal to a work colleague I barely know?

My respect for you had fallen a bit after the strange demand you made in August, but I defended you when others said you were an unreasonable bitch.

After this, my respect for you have plummeted. I'm not excited about working with you. At all.

-Me
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Old 10-10-2011, 12:34 PM   #4631
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Oh mighty St Zeno,
Please; persuade a few coarse fish in my local canal to impale themselves on my hook when I go fishing. Please ?
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Old 10-16-2011, 11:06 PM   #4632
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Dear X,

How many hours next week will you spend perched on a bar stool?

j
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Old 10-26-2011, 02:31 PM   #4633
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Dear X.

Why did you have to give me such a chock?
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Old 10-31-2011, 03:16 AM   #4634
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Dear Silly man,

I miss you, I know, its not a secret, everyone knows. I say "I miss C...." and they say "I know" in kind of a regretful tone, like if it were within their power they would bring you to me.

I do Moodscope.com almost everyday, it doesn't help the missing you part, but it helps the rest of the crumble my life has become.

I am fairly content, although its not logical, things are really bad. My car is not scaring the hell out of me at the moment, and that makes me smile. Last week, it was one scary car, sounded like the axle was breaking.

I am taking an experimental online class and not keeping up, but I hope to catch up soon. Its hard, I understand the concepts but get bogged down by the expressions.

Then there is work and money. I have neither. Its beyond selling the silver time, and I just go on trying to keep faith that somehow things will get better.

That is also how I miss you, with the hope that somehow someday I will feel your presence again.

In the midst of all this, there are the battles of health, internal revenue, sleep (I somehow caught your sleep problems) and my own thoughts of distrust.
So far I am winning the battles, but it is so slow.

I miss the way you see the world. Stuff happens and I just want to tell you about it, like the new segway experience or the surreal experience of falling 3 feet and doing serious damage, better now though. The totally whacky times, like the orange popsicle in the hospital, being mistaken for a member of a very large polyamorous family, the LARP I am involved with, And the moving, one of those truth stranger than fiction things, it was unimaginable in so many ways. Oh and partying until 4:30 am with British soldiers at a scifi convention, it was a blast, and I got to try on a really spiffy helmet.

Soon I will be your age, and I wonder, will there be someone for me, like I was for you?
or will there be you in some form somehow, someday, somewhere?
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"You gave him a gift that so many people can only dream of experiencing, and he gave you one, too. You invigorated and soothed him; you helped him find his music again. You deserved more time, but I am so happy that the time you spent together was so joyful and special and full of laughter. You gave him bwankets and I could see his tail wag. He felt you, and he took you with him everywhere. I think he took part of you with him to wherever he is now. That's part of why it hurts so much." Phelia on Byron to me.
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Old 10-31-2011, 04:11 AM   #4635
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To my brother-in-law (and his girlfriend).

Grow the fuck up! It's bad enough that you have five children which are financed largely by the dollars of honest taxpayers, many of whom can't actually afford kids of their own because so much of their money is taken by the government to finance non-contributing, self-indulgant cunts such as yourselves.

But I could just about make peace with the above if it wasn't for the fact that:

a) You whine endlessly that the government hasn't given you a bigger house to accomodate your large army of state-financed kids, that you chose to have. Who do you think pays for these houses jackass?

b) You brazenly lie about your personal circumstances and your income in order to extort yet more money from the state, yet somehow manage to rationalise it as justified because it's 'for the kids'.

c) You have a 40" TV, 2 iPhones, two games consoles and a wall full of DVDs and computer games, yet you still managed to convince creditors that you were bankrupt and unable to pay off your debts, contributing in your own small yet meaningful way to the worldwide credit crisis.

d) At every opportunity you take advantage of the good will of your family to dump your kids on them while you go out and enjoy yourself even though you know it has meant that, for example, your parents have had to take unpaid days off of work and people have had to cancel plans as a result.

e) Every family event where you are present instantly becomes solely about you and your kids to the point where all the events of the day have to be planned entirely around their needs.

Get fucked you selfish, ignorant, delusional fucktards.

Regards
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Old 11-04-2011, 07:49 AM   #4636
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Dear X-Country,

I've had enough.

I have spent my whole life here and loved you. There was even a time, until not long ago, that I was even proud of you. I served you and spilled my own blood for you.

And I have watched in dismay and lately horror as you spiraled around the drain you are going down. Your people have become ignorant and apathetic, self centered and self righteous, unwilling to see or even look at the reality of the plight they have brought on themselves.

Truth is no longer important in the media, only money matters. So they lie, in the most effective way. They tell the truth, Just not all of it.

And the corrupt politicians have learned very well from it. Why do the people who are in charge of the welfare of our country NEED "Spin Doctors"? If they were doing what is right they wouldn't need to spin anything. But they would rather Do whatever it takes to make the other party look bad than actually do something that makes sense.

And the people who CAN do something about it don't care enough about it to do what needs to be done. They would rather elect the "lesser of two evils" than stand up and say "NO MORE CROOKS!"

Our Banks steal our money, then cry that they have spent it poorly and need more money to fix their fuck up or the country will suffer. Then they throw good people out on the street when they can no longer afford the demands of the bank.

How do the American people not see what they have done to themselves? How can they stand by and watch their country go down in flames and not DO something about it?

I have tried so hard to get people to look at the truth, but I am nobody, I have no sway with them. I just a crazy old coot who doesn't know anything. When our President brags that he has created hundreds of thousands of new jobs, am I the only one who see's that they are all minimum wage jobs that won't support a family? DId anyone even think to ask? Meanwhile good paying jobs keep disappearing.

I can't do it anymore. I can't sit here and watch the country I loved tear itself apart because it's people would rather "Win" the be "Right".

So, I have made the arrangements and bought my ticket. January 7th I will get as far away from this place as I can get. The opposite side of the world. I will NOT come back.

I leave my country in the hands of morons and I will spend what few years I have left in a new home with a new life. And I will not look back.

Australia may not be perfect, at least I won't angry every time I turn on the news.

Yours truly (well not anymore)

The X-patriot.
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Old 11-29-2011, 03:32 PM   #4637
LettersFromTatyana
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Dear X-

Just so we're clear.

Our project is being held up because we need to complete a task.

To complete this task, we need someone with skill-set A.

I have volunteered the information--repeatedly--that I have skill-set A, and have volunteered to complete the task. And yet you ignore me each time, and are instead trying to get some overqualified guru to do our work (for free) while assigning me menial data entry work.

Which, of course, leaves us with an uncompleted task and a research project that is falling further and further behind.

That sound about right?

I think I might just do the task next week. If you want to wait for the guru, great, but I'll be working on my part of the research project, thanks.

Signed,
Your under-utilized underling
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Old 11-29-2011, 06:54 PM   #4638
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Dear X,

I hope you are enjoying your five houses and your jaunts abroad; all paid for by the people or the 'client' [I have to admit the possibility of your wife's contributions to the overall richness). At least your successor has managed to stay more-or-less out of sight since loosing the election, which is more than can be said for you.

Your party's policies over the last ten years have encouraged or resulted in complete financial chaos for many of the citizenry. As if that's not enough, the self-fulfilling so-called prophesy in the financial sector has brought shame and penury upon us all; we, the people are being forced to pay for your monumental stupidity.

Crawl into a deep hole, little man and keep that trap shut.
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Last edited by Handley_Page : 11-29-2011 at 06:57 PM.
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Old 11-29-2011, 09:45 PM   #4639
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Dear owner,

Please be careful when using the electric shaver on me. It's the first time you've managed to gash me with them. How about let's make it the last as well.

love,
~your genitals.
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Old 12-07-2011, 05:54 PM   #4640
Trinique_Fire
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Dear X,

I'm so sorry I don't drive the way you want me to and that you feel the need to blather on with a running commentary about it when I'm at the wheel. Fuck you. Truly, I don't give a shit what your opinion is of yourself. You're a far shittier driver than I am, and I'll keep telling you until you feel as horrible about yourself as you make other people feel.

I'm sorry I don't cut apples as well as you do. I'm such a horrible person for not coring and slicing apples the way you do. I'm such a disappointment and a waste.

You hate my black hair? I hate your personality. It stinks like raw sewage. At least I don't walk around like some automated robot that can't control its mouth. You spout off and find negative shit to broadcast about everybody and everything. Bitch.

Fuck you,
Me.
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Old 12-10-2011, 10:24 PM   #4641
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dear x,

i worked all day with an uncasted broken hand and bronchitis and you have nerve enough to bitch about how i called i sick the next day?

sincerely'

the maybe i'll show up on monday and maybe i won't good little witch.
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Old 12-11-2011, 04:19 PM   #4642
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Dear X (aged 18)

Look, you imbecile, she's a lovely girl, you've known her for years, just ask her for a date. All you have to do is say, "Hi <name>, haven't seen you around for a while, would you like to go see a movie" or stuff like that. Stop just staring at her like a lovesick ape. The worst she can say is "no". What have you got to lose? Just do it, stupid, and stop tearing yourself apart.

From yourself, way into the future
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Old 02-01-2012, 09:38 AM   #4643
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Dear GoatPig,

DO SOME WORK!

Sincerely, the remaining portion of your brain that still functions semi-properly.

P.S.

GET TO WORK! The internet isn't work. Stop using the internet and get back to work.
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Old 02-03-2012, 07:35 AM   #4644
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Dear Love of my Life,

You spoil me rotten. The trip to the mailbox is like Christmas morning and the flowers are beautiful.

Be careful, I could get used to this.

Yours always,

Your Can't Wait to Spoil You Too, Girl.
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Old 02-15-2012, 11:15 PM   #4645
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Dear X,

Wrote something to you almost 5 years ago & never got around to sending it. This is the last two sentences.

"Let's just skip the next part where I would call you to try to explain how I feel & you would get angry and rip my skin off with your sharp tongue. We can go directly to the bit where I walk away & you head to the Shenago to tell the story of the stupid, ungrateful friend you used to have."

j
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Old 09-03-2012, 07:23 AM   #4646
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Dear Giraffe,
Please stop eating the tank cleaners, small one. I realize you are a growing girl and need your protein, but escargot is expensive if I have to replace it every week. How about one of the fish? I know they are a bit big but hey, if you split them up you could have the same fish for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I am also unsure if it is healthy for you to eat the shells, Mommy will check and let you know. I hope so because the idea of putting slugs in your tank creeps me out a little. I will get you more plants on Tuesday since you so sweetly tried to redecorate my living room with fully aquatic moss. It proved how much I love you when I stepped in it after turning on your night light.
Do you have any requests for meals since you decided to stop eating pellets in favor of fish fins and snails?

Love always,
Mommy
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Old 09-04-2012, 03:10 PM   #4647
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Feedback from Any Mouse

two nieces?
09/04/12 By: Anonymous
what happened next? did tito do gloria?

The name of the story is "My Cute Nieces, Ch. 01" Figure it out from there.
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Old 09-04-2012, 08:22 PM   #4648
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To the lords of the evening,
You got something about me not catching any fish ?
I ain't asking to feed the five thousand, you know; just the pleasure of catching a decent specimen (which will be returned alive to the water).
Me
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Old 09-05-2012, 01:50 AM   #4649
Noor
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Dear Me,

We frequently let you catch fish, why just the other day we let you catch two different kinds of fish and one of them was quite large!

What fun would it be to fish if you caught fish all the time?

Light of evening

Ps. the Lords are illiterate.
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I did feel like Icarus-Byron in Exile

"You gave him a gift that so many people can only dream of experiencing, and he gave you one, too. You invigorated and soothed him; you helped him find his music again. You deserved more time, but I am so happy that the time you spent together was so joyful and special and full of laughter. You gave him bwankets and I could see his tail wag. He felt you, and he took you with him everywhere. I think he took part of you with him to wherever he is now. That's part of why it hurts so much." Phelia on Byron to me.
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Old 09-05-2012, 06:24 PM   #4650
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Noor View Post
Dear Me,

What fun would it be to fish if you caught fish all the time?
It would be lots of fun
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