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06-11-2011, 04:15 PM
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#4601
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Ancient writer
oggbashan is offline
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Facing the sea.
Posts: 23,640
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Dear Daughter X,
If you and your children are going to get a vomiting bug, please can you time it better?
You wanted to use our garden for an event tomorrow. I had just erected the gazebo singlehanded, and cleared the builders' equipment which you knew would be there when you decided the date.
It would have helped if you, and they, had started to be sick a couple of hours earlier, before we had spent over one hundred pounds on party food that we'll now have to freeze, if we can.
I'm sorry that you and they are feeling so poorly. I hope that all of you recover soon but you had to cancel tomorrow's event so late that not just us but all those you had invited will have to rearrange - if they can.
Next time - a helping hand with the arrangements would be appreciated and please consult us before setting the date.
Og
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06-12-2011, 12:31 PM
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#4602
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Alabama Slammer
cloudy is offline
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: neither here nor there
Posts: 37,963
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Dear Universe...
Could you please arrange a small windfall sometime within the next few months? I'll be testing for my black belt in December, and I still lack a set of sais ($165), a set of kamas ($120), a katana ($400+), and a dress gi ($160). I rarely ask for anything for myself, but I could really use a little help.
Thanks in advance,
Cloudy
*************
eta: Wow! That was FAST! Sais and kamas taken care of...Thanks!
__________________
Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart," all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart."
Dear politicians and/or assorted twats who are against immigration,
We would be glad to help you pack.
Sincerely, Native Americans
Last edited by cloudy : 06-12-2011 at 03:07 PM.
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06-12-2011, 09:04 PM
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#4603
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TEH BRAIN
PoppingTom is online now
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Berlin
Posts: 4,403
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Dear Saturn
could you please get the fuck out of my venus in the secondary horoscope? Please go al least three signs further.
I love to write, I love to read what I wrote, I have enough in my head that wants to come out in words, I have enough time to write, but it's always the same with you, in everything I do: when it comes to create something of real value for me, you want me to feel bad, like a murderer who is closed to be overtaken by his conscience.
I'm innocent! Of whatever!
Could you please fuck Matrose Jürgen instead? He won 10 000 Euro and don't know what to do with it. I'm not as fat as he is. No, I don't beg for money, all I want is......
Please get the fuck out of my venus.
Popping Tom
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06-12-2011, 10:16 PM
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#4604
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Literotica Guru
jayce1066 is offline
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Houston. TX
Posts: 1,501
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Dear X,
How drunk are you tonight?
j
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06-12-2011, 11:05 PM
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#4605
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4ever Angry Smurf's Girl
cc'skittykat is offline
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: In his arms.
Posts: 2,547
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Dear X,
Today was difficult, nerve-wracking, anxiety provoking, but worth it. Thank you for getting me through it.
I still want to smack you for putting me in that position...
C
__________________
Playgrounder and Proud of it!!! #131
TK Anonymous member #35
You get a lot farther if you talk to me on the boards before you PM me...
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07-10-2011, 06:05 PM
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#4606
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In a band!!
CWatson is offline
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: CA
Posts: 1,569
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Dear the-universe,
Why the heck is it so hard for a guy to find something cute but innocuous for a girl he likes? I visited every store I could think of--candy stores, drug stores, even the local sex shoppe. One of those tinfoil chocolate roses would've worked just fine! But no, nothing.
Sheesh.
disgruntled,
~me
__________________
"Haiku are easy
to write, but may not make sense.
Refrigerator."
"The plural of 'Surgeon General' is 'Surgeons General.' The past tense of 'Surgeons General' is 'Surgeonsed General.' "
Picture is not me; can be found at ShyAngela.com (thanks Dkling!)
Here is my story site, which has more material on it than my Literotica page. Oh, and, I'm now on Facebook!
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07-13-2011, 12:23 PM
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#4607
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Lawrence's Crab
Mandy57 is offline
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Somewhere not of my choosing....
Posts: 3,653
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Dear "Man Who Rocks My World",
Thank you for this morning....and this afternoon...and for every moment in between.
You have made this day the absolute best for me.
Your "Still Weak In The Knees Girl".
P.S. Tomorrow ~ Same Bat Time ~ Same Bat Channel
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07-13-2011, 12:42 PM
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#4608
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Mandy's Archer
Lawrence65 is offline
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: With my true love...
Posts: 1,756
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Dear "Lost Soul",
Happy Birthday to you!!!! 
I sincerely hope your day has been "one for the ages", I try my best my love.
May we have many more days like this, and many birthdays together. Next year... side by side enjoying each others "gifts".
You are welcome, but in many ways, i should be thanking you.
Your "True Believer"
P.S. I'm Batman!!!!  ... and we have a date! 
__________________
I fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) ~ ee cummings
In Love with My Crab
Last edited by Lawrence65 : 07-13-2011 at 12:50 PM.
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07-30-2011, 09:40 AM
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#4609
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Literotica Guru
jayce1066 is offline
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Houston. TX
Posts: 1,501
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Dear X,
Where are you doing your drunken ranting these days?
j
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07-31-2011, 10:53 AM
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#4610
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Terminally Innocent.
Handley_Page is offline
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: UK
Posts: 24,724
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Dear God,
Thank you for getting me this far.
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07-31-2011, 09:48 PM
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#4611
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floral nymph
kimbalee is offline
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: warm and naked under the covers with hubby
Posts: 30,111
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Handley_Page
Dear God,
Thank you for getting me this far.
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Hugs for you HP |
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07-31-2011, 09:49 PM
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#4612
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Literotica Guru
jayce1066 is offline
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Houston. TX
Posts: 1,501
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Dear boss of mine,
I'm not terribly keen on this idea of yours that the department should do a retreat so we can get to know each other better.
After listening to the inane chattering, nattering, gossiping and personal phone calls of my co-workers for the last few years, I've decided they are mostly a pack of tail-wagging idiots and I already know much more about them that I'm comfortable with.
May I call in sick with uncontrollable diarrhoea that day?
j
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08-23-2011, 07:01 PM
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#4613
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Licker of Boxes
Boxlicker101 is offline
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: With my face buried in her pussy
Posts: 20,686
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Being a glutton for punishment, I posted a story in LW today. Here is a feedback I got on it:
Let ask a question
08/23/11 By: Anonymous
We always see that a husband doesn't want to do this or that in bed and therefore she can find someone that will.
Does it work in reverse? If she does give good, or any, blow jobs or doesn't do anal, can he justifiably find someone that will do that?
Well, Any Mouse, if we had a category about cheating husbands, I and many others would be writing stories similar to this one and posting them in it.
And, if I did write and post such stories in Anal or EC, I would probably be castigated by female readers, just as writers in the LW category are attacked by men. |
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08-23-2011, 11:47 PM
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#4614
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Literotica Guru
sr71plt is offline
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Mid-Atlantic, USA
Posts: 27,142
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Boxlicker101
Being a glutton for punishment, I posted a story in LW today. Here is a feedback I got on it:
Let ask a question
08/23/11 By: Anonymous
We always see that a husband doesn't want to do this or that in bed and therefore she can find someone that will.
Does it work in reverse? If she does give good, or any, blow jobs or doesn't do anal, can he justifiably find someone that will do that?
Well, Any Mouse, if we had a category about cheating husbands, I and many others would be writing stories similar to this one and posting them in it.
And, if I did write and post such stories in Anal or EC, I would probably be castigated by female readers, just as writers in the LW category are attacked by men. |
Anonymous is your X? (who knew?)
__________________
"I don;t spend time checking on what other people are doing, I just worry about my own shit."
--Lovecraft68
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08-24-2011, 12:58 PM
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#4615
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Invisible but stylish
Tarakin is offline
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Germany
Posts: 8,382
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Dear X,
give me more holidays please! Ones without work to do if possible...
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09-12-2011, 03:22 PM
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#4616
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In a band!!
CWatson is offline
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: CA
Posts: 1,569
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Dear my-housemate,
It's just a shirt that accidentally went in the wash. Does it really require yelling? And slamming doors? And cursing? And bitching out your mother? The shirt won't be ruined (by your own admission) and you have a ton more of them, since you wear them to work. It's not the end of the world if something goes wrong, especially something this minor. It's just a shirt.
Maybe this has something to do with the fact that I try to avoid you whenever you're home?
your housemate,
~me
__________________
"Haiku are easy
to write, but may not make sense.
Refrigerator."
"The plural of 'Surgeon General' is 'Surgeons General.' The past tense of 'Surgeons General' is 'Surgeonsed General.' "
Picture is not me; can be found at ShyAngela.com (thanks Dkling!)
Here is my story site, which has more material on it than my Literotica page. Oh, and, I'm now on Facebook!
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09-12-2011, 09:50 PM
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#4617
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comeback kid
carsonshepherd is offline
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: miles from nowhere
Posts: 14,701
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How dare you send me an email like that and then refuse to talk to me? You never say what you mean. It's all about manipulation and subtlety with you. Just fucking come out and say it right to my face for once.
I think you're unhinged.
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09-13-2011, 12:22 AM
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#4618
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Virgin
Diezi is offline
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: United States
Posts: 1
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Dear EM,
I didn't steal your job. You lost it for not caring enough about your work and treating others like crap. If you'd showed even a hint of real decency and drive maybe it would have been a hard decision for the bosses to choose which of us stayed.
We used to be the best of friends, but you continuously aspire to being judgmental, jealous and mediocre in your endeavors. Consequently you have made nothing of your life. Stop blaming me for your mess.
~ME
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09-13-2011, 03:11 AM
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#4619
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Citizen of the World
Noor is offline
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Svaha
Posts: 13,322
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Dear X,
miss you
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09-19-2011, 07:16 PM
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#4620
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In a band!!
CWatson is offline
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: CA
Posts: 1,569
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Dear The Universe,
While I appreciate the one last chance to lounge around with no clothes on, 90 degrees is a bit excessive for the back end of September.
boilingly,
~me
__________________
"Haiku are easy
to write, but may not make sense.
Refrigerator."
"The plural of 'Surgeon General' is 'Surgeons General.' The past tense of 'Surgeons General' is 'Surgeonsed General.' "
Picture is not me; can be found at ShyAngela.com (thanks Dkling!)
Here is my story site, which has more material on it than my Literotica page. Oh, and, I'm now on Facebook!
Last edited by CWatson : 09-19-2011 at 07:18 PM.
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09-19-2011, 08:57 PM
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#4621
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Licker of Boxes
Boxlicker101 is offline
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: With my face buried in her pussy
Posts: 20,686
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the idiot
08/24/11 By: Anonymous
The idiot back and has all his sickos writing in comments, too bad we couldn't get them all in a boat and let them loose in the north atlantic in winter and see if their sick minds could get them home.
I appreciate your scholarly and highly literate critique of my writing.  : Now, how about kissing my ass. |
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09-24-2011, 03:37 PM
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#4622
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Literotica Guru
jayce1066 is offline
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Houston. TX
Posts: 1,501
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Dear X,
Yet another alt?
How special.
j
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09-25-2011, 10:13 PM
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#4623
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Licker of Boxes
Boxlicker101 is offline
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: With my face buried in her pussy
Posts: 20,686
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Because of its stupidity, your comment still remains one of my favorites:
fucking no good piece of writing
12/02/05 By: Anonymous in india
hey u fucking ass this piece of writinf is a piece of shit y dont u go and let santa clause go fuck u and suckur little dick that cant even satisfy a baby ,people might even think ur a woman with a tight pussy .fucking no god slut face cock sucking ass like u .
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09-25-2011, 11:20 PM
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#4624
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Wutchu talkin bout Willis
TE999 is offline
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Sitcom Land
Posts: 29,782
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Boxlicker101
Because of its stupidity, your comment still remains one of my favorites:
fucking no good piece of writing
12/02/05 By: Anonymous in india
hey u fucking ass this piece of writinf is a piece of shit y dont u go and let santa clause go fuck u and suckur little dick that cant even satisfy a baby ,people might even think ur a woman with a tight pussy .fucking no god slut face cock sucking ass like u .
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One might get the impression that English is not 'Anon. in India's' second language, or third or fourth ...
__________________
I used to be disgusted, now I'm just amused.
Never be led astray into the paths of virtue.
Artists are misunderstood. Not by people, but by themselves.
Life is but active anguish in a context of flux.
"Popularity is not whether people like you, it's how many people would like you to like them." Anon.
"Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company." Mark Twain (Samuel L. Clemens)
"Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret." Ambrose Bierce
"When my ugly ol' car won't climb the hill, I'll write a suicide note on a hundred dollar bill." 'Heavy Fuel' Dire Straits
"I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints, the sinners are much more fun ..." 'Only the Good Die Young' Billy Joel
TE's stories: http://www.literotica.com/stories/me...ge=submissions
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09-26-2011, 09:17 PM
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#4625
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.
MistressLynn is offline
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: On the Move
Posts: 42,574
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Dear X,
Please keep him safe out there. He asked too, so that has to mean something.
Signed,
Me
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