Old 06-11-2011, 05:15 PM   #4601
oggbashan
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Dear Daughter X,

If you and your children are going to get a vomiting bug, please can you time it better?

You wanted to use our garden for an event tomorrow. I had just erected the gazebo singlehanded, and cleared the builders' equipment which you knew would be there when you decided the date.

It would have helped if you, and they, had started to be sick a couple of hours earlier, before we had spent over one hundred pounds on party food that we'll now have to freeze, if we can.

I'm sorry that you and they are feeling so poorly. I hope that all of you recover soon but you had to cancel tomorrow's event so late that not just us but all those you had invited will have to rearrange - if they can.

Next time - a helping hand with the arrangements would be appreciated and please consult us before setting the date.

Og
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Old 06-12-2011, 01:31 PM   #4602
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Dear Universe...

Could you please arrange a small windfall sometime within the next few months? I'll be testing for my black belt in December, and I still lack a set of sais ($165), a set of kamas ($120), a katana ($400+), and a dress gi ($160). I rarely ask for anything for myself, but I could really use a little help.

Thanks in advance,

Cloudy

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eta: Wow! That was FAST! Sais and kamas taken care of...Thanks!
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Old 06-12-2011, 10:04 PM   #4603
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Dear Saturn

could you please get the fuck out of my venus in the secondary horoscope? Please go al least three signs further.

I love to write, I love to read what I wrote, I have enough in my head that wants to come out in words, I have enough time to write, but it's always the same with you, in everything I do: when it comes to create something of real value for me, you want me to feel bad, like a murderer who is closed to be overtaken by his conscience.

I'm innocent! Of whatever!

Could you please fuck Matrose Jürgen instead? He won 10 000 Euro and don't know what to do with it. I'm not as fat as he is. No, I don't beg for money, all I want is......

Please get the fuck out of my venus.

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Old 06-12-2011, 11:16 PM   #4604
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Dear X,
How drunk are you tonight?
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Old 06-13-2011, 12:05 AM   #4605
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Dear X,

Today was difficult, nerve-wracking, anxiety provoking, but worth it. Thank you for getting me through it.

I still want to smack you for putting me in that position...


C
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Old 07-10-2011, 07:05 PM   #4606
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Dear the-universe,

Why the heck is it so hard for a guy to find something cute but innocuous for a girl he likes? I visited every store I could think of--candy stores, drug stores, even the local sex shoppe. One of those tinfoil chocolate roses would've worked just fine! But no, nothing.

Sheesh.

disgruntled,
~me
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Old 07-13-2011, 01:23 PM   #4607
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Dear "Man Who Rocks My World",


Thank you for this morning....and this afternoon...and for every moment in between.

You have made this day the absolute best for me.


Your "Still Weak In The Knees Girl"
.





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Old 07-13-2011, 01:42 PM   #4608
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Dear "Lost Soul",

Happy Birthday to you!!!!

I sincerely hope your day has been "one for the ages", I try my best my love.

May we have many more days like this, and many birthdays together. Next year... side by side enjoying each others "gifts".

You are welcome, but in many ways, i should be thanking you.

Your "True Believer"



P.S. I'm Batman!!!! ... and we have a date!
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Old 07-30-2011, 10:40 AM   #4609
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Dear X,
Where are you doing your drunken ranting these days?
j
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Old 07-31-2011, 11:53 AM   #4610
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Dear God,
Thank you for getting me this far.
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Old 07-31-2011, 10:48 PM   #4611
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Handley_Page View Post
Dear God,
Thank you for getting me this far.
Hugs for you HP
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Old 07-31-2011, 10:49 PM   #4612
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Dear boss of mine,
I'm not terribly keen on this idea of yours that the department should do a retreat so we can get to know each other better.
After listening to the inane chattering, nattering, gossiping and personal phone calls of my co-workers for the last few years, I've decided they are mostly a pack of tail-wagging idiots and I already know much more about them that I'm comfortable with.
May I call in sick with uncontrollable diarrhoea that day?
j
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Old 08-23-2011, 08:01 PM   #4613
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Being a glutton for punishment, I posted a story in LW today. Here is a feedback I got on it:

Let ask a question
08/23/11 By: Anonymous
We always see that a husband doesn't want to do this or that in bed and therefore she can find someone that will.
Does it work in reverse? If she does give good, or any, blow jobs or doesn't do anal, can he justifiably find someone that will do that?

Well, Any Mouse, if we had a category about cheating husbands, I and many others would be writing stories similar to this one and posting them in it.

And, if I did write and post such stories in Anal or EC, I would probably be castigated by female readers, just as writers in the LW category are attacked by men.
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Old 08-24-2011, 12:47 AM   #4614
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Boxlicker101 View Post
Being a glutton for punishment, I posted a story in LW today. Here is a feedback I got on it:

Let ask a question
08/23/11 By: Anonymous
We always see that a husband doesn't want to do this or that in bed and therefore she can find someone that will.
Does it work in reverse? If she does give good, or any, blow jobs or doesn't do anal, can he justifiably find someone that will do that?

Well, Any Mouse, if we had a category about cheating husbands, I and many others would be writing stories similar to this one and posting them in it.

And, if I did write and post such stories in Anal or EC, I would probably be castigated by female readers, just as writers in the LW category are attacked by men.
Anonymous is your X? (who knew?)
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Old 08-24-2011, 01:58 PM   #4615
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Dear X,

give me more holidays please! Ones without work to do if possible...
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Old 09-12-2011, 04:22 PM   #4616
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Dear my-housemate,

It's just a shirt that accidentally went in the wash. Does it really require yelling? And slamming doors? And cursing? And bitching out your mother? The shirt won't be ruined (by your own admission) and you have a ton more of them, since you wear them to work. It's not the end of the world if something goes wrong, especially something this minor. It's just a shirt.

Maybe this has something to do with the fact that I try to avoid you whenever you're home?

your housemate,
~me
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Old 09-12-2011, 10:50 PM   #4617
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How dare you send me an email like that and then refuse to talk to me? You never say what you mean. It's all about manipulation and subtlety with you. Just fucking come out and say it right to my face for once.

I think you're unhinged.
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Old 09-13-2011, 01:22 AM   #4618
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Dear EM,

I didn't steal your job. You lost it for not caring enough about your work and treating others like crap. If you'd showed even a hint of real decency and drive maybe it would have been a hard decision for the bosses to choose which of us stayed.

We used to be the best of friends, but you continuously aspire to being judgmental, jealous and mediocre in your endeavors. Consequently you have made nothing of your life. Stop blaming me for your mess.

~ME
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Old 09-13-2011, 04:11 AM   #4619
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Dear X,

miss you
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"You gave him a gift that so many people can only dream of experiencing, and he gave you one, too. You invigorated and soothed him; you helped him find his music again. You deserved more time, but I am so happy that the time you spent together was so joyful and special and full of laughter. You gave him bwankets and I could see his tail wag. He felt you, and he took you with him everywhere. I think he took part of you with him to wherever he is now. That's part of why it hurts so much." Phelia on Byron to me.
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Old 09-19-2011, 08:16 PM   #4620
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Dear The Universe,

While I appreciate the one last chance to lounge around with no clothes on, 90 degrees is a bit excessive for the back end of September.

boilingly,
~me
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Old 09-19-2011, 09:57 PM   #4621
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the idiot
08/24/11 By: Anonymous
The idiot back and has all his sickos writing in comments, too bad we couldn't get them all in a boat and let them loose in the north atlantic in winter and see if their sick minds could get them home.



I appreciate your scholarly and highly literate critique of my writing. : Now, how about kissing my ass.
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Old 09-24-2011, 04:37 PM   #4622
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Dear X,

Yet another alt?

How special.

j
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Old 09-25-2011, 11:13 PM   #4623
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Because of its stupidity, your comment still remains one of my favorites:

fucking no good piece of writing
12/02/05 By: Anonymous in india
hey u fucking ass this piece of writinf is a piece of shit y dont u go and let santa clause go fuck u and suckur little dick that cant even satisfy a baby ,people might even think ur a woman with a tight pussy .fucking no god slut face cock sucking ass like u .
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Old 09-26-2011, 12:20 AM   #4624
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Boxlicker101 View Post
Because of its stupidity, your comment still remains one of my favorites:

fucking no good piece of writing
12/02/05 By: Anonymous in india
hey u fucking ass this piece of writinf is a piece of shit y dont u go and let santa clause go fuck u and suckur little dick that cant even satisfy a baby ,people might even think ur a woman with a tight pussy .fucking no god slut face cock sucking ass like u .
One might get the impression that English is not 'Anon. in India's' second language, or third or fourth ...
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Old 09-26-2011, 10:17 PM   #4625
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Dear X,

Please keep him safe out there. He asked too, so that has to mean something.



Signed,

Me
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