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Why isn't there a 'Which Collar' Magazine?!!

minx1

minx1

Enchanted Rebel Girl
Joined
Sep 26, 2006
Posts
10,751
HELP! Why isn't there a 'Which Collar' Magazine?!!

I've been with my Master since the end of September last year, we are in a long distance relationship and are very happy. Recently we have been discussing collars....I don't have one as yet. We realise it is a significant step and aren't rushing into it, but He has told me to start looking into them more. God I am so EXCITED!! *laugh*
I am relatively new to the D/s scene and so am seeking some advice. I have seen some of the more traditional collars out there, but I wondered what alternatives other subs have, for example a couple of subs I know wear necklaces instead. I know many subs have a collection for different occassions, but at this point I am particularly interested in the collars or alternatives subs wear out in public.
A silly question but....where do you get them from? I've looked online, but perhaps I'm looking in the wrong place.
And one for the Dom/mes out there.....what do you like? do you prefer traditional or are you happy just so long as you both know its meaning?
And I know that the padlocks used to be significant...is this still the case?

Forgive me if this has been covered before...perhaps you can just point me in the right direction. Thanks for your help! :)
 
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I have a few different ones. For now I'm allowd to wear what ever one I like, and will until we can meet together and he give me my final collar. It's a very special thing so I understand his not wanting to just mail me one (tho sometimes I do pout about it.)

I have two regular dog collars that I bought at the pet store that yes I do wear out. But sometimes I dress a little gothy so they match me well. One is just a plain black leather collar with a purple heart tag on it that says "if found please return to Ireland". It's sort of our little joke because that's where he is, but I have yet to get to be there so I'm his "lost pet" so to speak. The other is pink leather with heart studs in it and a sliver heart dangle on the d ring. I don't wear it as much because I don't have too many pink out fits (but lots of what I call "glitter punk" wear), and it's a little tall for my short little neck.

Then I have 2 simple ribbon chokers that I wear to work. And one choker I made out of elastic and a belt buckle. The two ends of the belt buckle clasp together to make a heart.

His favorite for me to wear right now is a belly dancer necklace that I have. It's triangle shaped and falls right between my boobs. He's such a breast man. ;)

This is the one I would like to be my perminate one and I've shown it to him often. They also have a bracelet to match. It's simple enough that I could wear it to work even. And I love the idea that it would be locked on me and he would hold the key.

You might try this site or this one for some less obvious kinky wear. They're goth/alturnitive styles so they offer things that most people out there are kinda used to in small doses.

Sometimes I can find things that take my interest here or here. Tho I usually shop in the stores and the websites don't seem to offer much.
 
I don't know, I'm a bit of a traditional girl myself and just as I would not go out and buy myself an engagement or wedding ring, or have a selection of different ones for different occasions, so it is with my collar. He has bought all 3 (new one when the other either began to wear out, or had an allergic reaction), and he has placed all 3 around my neck the minute he bought them and expected them to remain there no matter where I was going. Being leather, the only time he has OK'ed their removal is if I had a rash, was swimming or taking a shower, when I am very ill and their removal makes it easier to cope, or in excessively high temperature and humidity conditions which meant they reacted too much with perspiration.

The first and third ones were bought in pet stores, the second one in a sex shop and way over priced. We are stil searching for one which will be best for my skin, and hopefully it wil be a metal permanently locking one but as I react to most metals as well, we are taking our time. Many of them are online and there are a few threads in the library at the top of the forum which give a range of sites and designs people have, but you can also get them in regular stores depending what it is you are looking for.

Catalina :catroar:
 
the captians wench said:
I have a few different ones. For now I'm allowd to wear what ever one I like, and will until we can meet together and he give me my final collar. It's a very special thing so I understand his not wanting to just mail me one (tho sometimes I do pout about it.)

I have two regular dog collars that I bought at the pet store that yes I do wear out. But sometimes I dress a little gothy so they match me well. One is just a plain black leather collar with a purple heart tag on it that says "if found please return to Ireland". It's sort of our little joke because that's where he is, but I have yet to get to be there so I'm his "lost pet" so to speak. The other is pink leather with heart studs in it and a sliver heart dangle on the d ring. I don't wear it as much because I don't have too many pink out fits (but lots of what I call "glitter punk" wear), and it's a little tall for my short little neck.

Then I have 2 simple ribbon chokers that I wear to work. And one choker I made out of elastic and a belt buckle. The two ends of the belt buckle clasp together to make a heart.

His favorite for me to wear right now is a belly dancer necklace that I have. It's triangle shaped and falls right between my boobs. He's such a breast man. ;)

This is the one I would like to be my perminate one and I've shown it to him often. They also have a bracelet to match. It's simple enough that I could wear it to work even. And I love the idea that it would be locked on me and he would hold the key.

You might try this site or this one for some less obvious kinky wear. They're goth/alturnitive styles so they offer things that most people out there are kinda used to in small doses.

Sometimes I can find things that take my interest here or here. Tho I usually shop in the stores and the websites don't seem to offer much.
Click to expand...

Oh thanks CW thats a great help. Its similar for us....He wants to collar me in person, (airmail just wouldn't be the same!) but that could be a good way off. I'll mention that you wear some already, until you get your final one...that seems like a good halfway house. But then it would to me because I am desperate to wear His! *laugh*

I don't dress gothy at all so am kinda restricted in what would 'pass' as part of my usual dress. But thanks for your links and the one you want as a permanent one is lovely :)
 
catalina_francisco said:
I don't know, I'm a bit of a traditional girl myself and just as I would not go out and buy myself an engagement or wedding ring, or have a selection of different ones for different occasions, so it is with my collar. He has bought all 3 (new one when the other either began to wear out, or had an allergic reaction), and he has placed all 3 around my neck the minute he bought them and expected them to remain there no matter where I was going. Being leather, the only time he has OK'ed their removal is if I had a rash, was swimming or taking a shower, when I am very ill and their removal makes it easier to cope, or in excessively high temperature and humidity conditions which meant they reacted too much with perspiration.

The first and third ones were bought in pet stores, the second one in a sex shop and way over priced. We are stil searching for one which will be best for my skin, and hopefully it wil be a metal permanently locking one but as I react to most metals as well, we are taking our time. Many of them are online and there are a few threads in the library at the top of the forum which give a range of sites and designs people have, but you can also get them in regular stores depending what it is you are looking for.

Catalina :catroar:
Click to expand...

Thanks Catalina, I will check out the links in the library.

I completely agree with you in terms of not going out and getting it yourself. Its difficult with our distance so I see this as research...when we finally choose one it will be a joint decision, as He says its important to Him that I love it and will be proud to wear it. Excuse my over excitement, put it down to the newness of it all!*grin*,but for me it could be a piece of old string if it was His! *laugh*

And now I am kinda torn because I can see your point about not having a selection. What about play though...excuse my naivety but don't some have them soley for that?
Thanks this is really useful and has given me food for thought and points that I can raise with Him
 
minx1 said:
What about play though...excuse my naivety but don't some have them soley for that?
Thanks this is really useful and has given me food for thought and points that I can raise with Him
Click to expand...

Some do, though you can get ones which are suitable for play and normal wear, and for special play sessions perhaps use the posture collars. We have one of those but have rarely used it as we tend to be spontaneous most times in what might be called playtime. Everyone is different, for me I am just a bit stuck in my ways in terms of symbolism etc., which is why I never accepted a collar before, and also why he never offered anyone else one either. I was fortunate to find the one I wanted to be with for the rest of my life because for me if I were to have had a succession of D/s relationships, and/or collars, it would sort of be like watching Tom Cruise declare his undying love for Katie on TV and thinking it all a bit fake as he has done the same with at least 3 other women and each time sworn it was the real thing and he had never felt like that before....hohum. It sort of begins to get jaded after awhile and for me would lose that specialness. Sounds like you might be on a similar path to having the one you want to remain with also.

Catalina :catroar:
 
catalina_francisco said:
Some do, though you can get ones which are suitable for play and normal wear, and for special play sessions perhaps use the posture collars. We have one of those but have rarely used it as we tend to be spontaneous most times in what might be called playtime. Everyone is different, for me I am just a bit stuck in my ways in terms of symbolism etc., which is why I never accepted a collar before, and also why he never offered anyone else one either. I was fortunate to find the one I wanted to be with for the rest of my life because for me if I were to have had a succession of D/s relationships, and/or collars, it would sort of be like watching Tom Cruise declare his undying love for Katie on TV and thinking it all a bit fake as he has done the same with at least 3 other women and each time sworn it was the real thing and he had never felt like that before....hohum. It sort of begins to get jaded after awhile and for me would lose that specialness. Sounds like you might be on a similar path to having the one you want to remain with also.

Catalina :catroar:
Click to expand...

Yes I believe that I am......I would love to stay His.
I too am an 'old fashioned' girl in that the prospect of a series of D/s relationships doesn't really do it for me.
Although I have to say in RL I am divorced and so I also appreciate that I could receive a collar from a Dom with who things may not work out, yet with whom at the time I imagined I would be forever...if that makes sense!
 
minx1 said:
Yes I believe that I am......I would love to stay His.
I too am an 'old fashioned' girl in that the prospect of a series of D/s relationships doesn't really do it for me.
Although I have to say in RL I am divorced and so I also appreciate that I could receive a collar from a Dom with who things may not work out, yet with whom at the time I imagined I would be forever...if that makes sense!
Click to expand...

Makes perfect since to me. :rose:

I do love the collars I'm allowd to wear now, but I think for me sometimes they tend to be more of a sucurity blanket, something that allows me to feel close to him since he can't be here. My mom had pointed it out to me a few months ago, but I didn't really realize it until Jounar told me to switch from my leather collar which (at the time) I only took off to shower and work, and replace it with my necklace that he loves seeing me with. I remember complaining about it and even asking him "you don't like my collar anymore?" :eek: He was kind of nonchelant about the whole thing and said "it's cool, but you look so sexy in the necklace". That's when I realized what mom said was right. So I stopped wearing my collar everywhere, and wore the necklace most of the time, or sometimes even nothing at all. Until he collars me what's on my neck is just a piece of jewelry. Once his collar is on me ain't nothing taking that baby off. *giggles*
 
the captians wench said:
Makes perfect since to me. :rose:

I do love the collars I'm allowd to wear now, but I think for me sometimes they tend to be more of a sucurity blanket, something that allows me to feel close to him since he can't be here. My mom had pointed it out to me a few months ago, but I didn't really realize it until Jounar told me to switch from my leather collar which (at the time) I only took off to shower and work, and replace it with my necklace that he loves seeing me with. I remember complaining about it and even asking him "you don't like my collar anymore?" :eek: He was kind of nonchelant about the whole thing and said "it's cool, but you look so sexy in the necklace". That's when I realized what mom said was right. So I stopped wearing my collar everywhere, and wore the necklace most of the time, or sometimes even nothing at all. Until he collars me what's on my neck is just a piece of jewelry. Once his collar is on me ain't nothing taking that baby off. *giggles*
Click to expand...

*laugh* I know that feeling well CW! Maybe with me my desperation to wear His is also a bit of a security blanket...in that I understand the significance and importance of him placing it on me, however I want one so badly that if I am truthful I would wear a temporary one right now! But then is that such a bad thing....he may not have placed it on in person, but we both know what it signifies.
I am so eager *giggle* When I said I didn't care what it looked like...he replied firmly, He did!
 
minx1 said:
Yes I believe that I am......I would love to stay His.
I too am an 'old fashioned' girl in that the prospect of a series of D/s relationships doesn't really do it for me.
Although I have to say in RL I am divorced and so I also appreciate that I could receive a collar from a Dom with who things may not work out, yet with whom at the time I imagined I would be forever...if that makes sense!
Click to expand...

It does, but then it also is why you shouldn't rush into anything until you feel more than just a rush of excitement and hope. I was offered collars along the way, some by some very nice gentlemen, but I knew it would be temporary for me and so said no....I wanted the relationship, the commitment, more than the collar which could be removed without much effort. I'm also divorced, or was, and stayed single by choice for 16 years. It wasn't I didn't have opportunities, or I didn't want to be with someone...I just didn't want to go through anymore shit than was necessary, wanted to be sure next time it was more than a temporary thing or mistake made for all the wrong reasons, and thankfully F and I have now been M/s and married for 4 1/2 years and it just keeps getting better. LOL, and people thought it wouldn't last just because we had never met in RL until he flew in to meet and marry me. :D

Catalina :catroar:
 
catalina_francisco said:
It does, but then it also is why you shouldn't rush into anything until you feel more than just a rush of excitement and hope. I was offered collars along the way, some by some very nice gentlemen, but I knew it would be temporary for me and so said no....I wanted the relationship, the commitment, more than the collar which could be removed without much effort. I'm also divorced, or was, and stayed single by choice for 16 years. It wasn't I didn't have opportunities, or I didn't want to be with someone...I just didn't want to go through anymore shit than was necessary, wanted to be sure next time it was more than a temporary thing or mistake made for all the wrong reasons, and thankfully F and I have now been M/s and married for 4 1/2 years and it just keeps getting better. LOL, and people thought it wouldn't last just because we had never met in RL until he flew in to meet and marry me. :D

Catalina :catroar:
Click to expand...

Thats just beautiful Catalina.

I think I may be like you in that if the divorce and my relationship did one thing for me, it made me very aware of what I wanted out of life and that not just any old thing would do. I took time out myself, although I have never felt the need to be in a relationship...I like me and I enjoy my own company lol.
I know that this man, my Master makes me deliriously happy..we have been through some testing times and have come out the other side stronger for each one.
I know that my rush of exitement is because I want His collar, not just for the sake of having a collar. I want it for all it signifies to us and for all we share.
I am sure of our commitment and love for each other and will gladly be His forever :)
 
I don't insist on the wearing of collars out in the mundane world. M has a vinyl silver glitter kitty collar and a blue and black leather working collar, H has a pretty twinkly little necklace and a red and black working collar. H has to have his collar with him if I want him to wear it, it's a standing rule.
 
Netzach said:
I don't insist on the wearing of collars out in the mundane world. M has a vinyl silver glitter kitty collar and a blue and black leather working collar, H has a pretty twinkly little necklace and a red and black working collar. H has to have his collar with him if I want him to wear it, it's a standing rule.
Click to expand...

Thanks Netzach...do you mind me asking why you don't insist that they wear them out?
I love glittery/sparkling things too. I kinda fancied diamonds....but then thought that might be a little frivolous! *laugh*
 
minx1 said:
Thanks Netzach...do you mind me asking why you don't insist that they wear them out?
I love glittery/sparkling things too. I kinda fancied diamonds....but then thought that might be a little frivolous! *laugh*
Click to expand...

Sure.

They're boys with a conservative/preppy appearance and I don't like things that don't "go." If they were at all necklace or bracelet people I'd probably make it happen. I'm more likely to put a ring in their privates ultimately. Big ass pet store collars will interfere with how they are viewed at work, and frankly I don't feel the need to work against that in any way.
 
Netzach said:
Sure.

They're boys with a conservative/preppy appearance and I don't like things that don't "go." If they were at all necklace or bracelet people I'd probably make it happen. I'm more likely to put a ring in their privates ultimately. Big ass pet store collars will interfere with how they are viewed at work, and frankly I don't feel the need to work against that in any way.
Click to expand...

That makes a lot of sense to me. I'm in a similar position where in terms of my usual dress or work environment I just wouldn't get away with a 'traditional' collar. I would stick out like a sore thumb! :eek:
 
Reading this thread made me smile :)

I cant offer much advice, just say how jealous I am that I dont have someone to offer a collar too..

Hopefully with time I will find one.

Minx. I agree with CW in the sense that until your master physically puts one around your neck, anything else will just make you feel closer and isnt the real deal. I have seen many collars from subtle leather ones right through to sparkly jewellery. Non of these would stick out like sore thumbs and can be found on many sex shop sites or even "goth wear" sites. As for padlocks, I am not sure, but I still think that even with the temporary one, your master should have a say in what you wear, after all, it is a symbol that you are his, even if he cannot physically put it on your neck.
 
naxalite0906 said:
Reading this thread made me smile :)

I cant offer much advice, just say how jealous I am that I dont have someone to offer a collar too..

Hopefully with time I will find one.

Minx. I agree with CW in the sense that until your master physically puts one around your neck, anything else will just make you feel closer and isnt the real deal. I have seen many collars from subtle leather ones right through to sparkly jewellery. Non of these would stick out like sore thumbs and can be found on many sex shop sites or even "goth wear" sites. As for padlocks, I am not sure, but I still think that even with the temporary one, your master should have a say in what you wear, after all, it is a symbol that you are his, even if he cannot physically put it on your neck.
Click to expand...

Aww Nax thankyou....you know one day soon your sub will er, come ;)

And you are right of course. He has already told me the kind of collar He wants for me and as I said to catalina i know that any final choice will be made together. Personally I would be happy to leave the ultimate decision to Him but I think because He knows me and my work, He prefers that we both have input
 
minx1 said:
Aww Nax thankyou....you know one day soon your sub will er, come ;)

And you are right of course. He has already told me the kind of collar He wants for me and as I said to catalina i know that any final choice will be made together. Personally I would be happy to leave the ultimate decision to Him but I think because He knows me and my work, He prefers that we both have input
Click to expand...

Then maybe choose some sort of gold/silver choker or necklace.. much more subtle and you still know what it symbolises.
 
naxalite0906 said:
Then maybe choose some sort of gold/silver choker or necklace.. much more subtle and you still know what it symbolises.
Click to expand...

Yeah I think that could be a good alternative Nax. I want something that ideally I can keep on all the time!
 
Mine has a black leather training collar from a local pet store that he wears at home and to kink-friendly events. He also wears a silver necklace in other circumstances, but that is more a reminder to him.

When I formally collar him, he'll get a silver chain with a locking screw, like these (we found that by googling 'BDSM collars', BTW). It will be a length that's a little shorter than a typical necklace, but still appropriate for work and everything else. It's important to me that it can be removed without cutting for medical purposes and such, but is otherwise permanent.

I also may have him tattooed with a symbol that means 'slave,' though I'm not positive on that yet.
 
SweetErika said:
Mine has a black leather training collar from a local pet store that he wears at home and to kink-friendly events. He also wears a silver necklace in other circumstances, but that is more a reminder to him.

When I formally collar him, he'll get a silver chain with a locking screw, like these (we found that by googling 'BDSM collars', BTW). It will be a length that's a little shorter than a typical necklace, but still appropriate for work and everything else. It's important to me that it can be removed without cutting for medical purposes and such, but is otherwise permanent.

I also may have him tattooed with a symbol that means 'slave,' though I'm not positive on that yet.
Click to expand...

They are like the ones I was thinking of erika :)
 
since i am in school to become a teacher and i work three days a week in a classroom, having a collar that screams, or even whispers, BDSM is out of the question. my collar is a choker that is absolutly beuatiful, and i can wear in any setting, casual or formal, kinky or non-kinky. Since we knew we were looking for a choker, not a traditional collar, Sir took me to the mall and let me choose. Though he of course did have veto power and have to approve of my choice, he said with his fashion sense he would pick out something terrible and i would have to wear it all the time. as is, he loves my collar ALMOST as much as i do :devil:

i also have two collars that are used in scenes, when he wants to make a point about something, or if i am given permission to sleep in a collar. (since the chain on my everyday collar is fairly thin, i take it off when i sleep). one is black with a silver ring, and was bought at claires, of all places (goth wear i suppose). The other is red and is an actual dog collar bought at an 89 cents strore in pennsylvania.

before i had my collar, i wore a necklace with a heart charm Sir made. on the inside of the charm he had written "property of ***hisname***"
 
SweetErika said:
Mine has a black leather training collar from a local pet store that he wears at home and to kink-friendly events. He also wears a silver necklace in other circumstances, but that is more a reminder to him.

When I formally collar him, he'll get a silver chain with a locking screw, like these (we found that by googling 'BDSM collars', BTW). It will be a length that's a little shorter than a typical necklace, but still appropriate for work and everything else. It's important to me that it can be removed without cutting for medical purposes and such, but is otherwise permanent.

I also may have him tattooed with a symbol that means 'slave,' though I'm not positive on that yet.
Click to expand...

Oh they are lovely Erika! Thankyou :) This is such a useful discussion for me as there are things that I and I'm sure my Master haven't thought about as yet, such as the permanency of the collar and issues regarding that.
I too like the idea of a tattoo....branding kinda scares me. OUCH!!
 
myinnerslut said:
since i am in school to become a teacher and i work three days a week in a classroom, having a collar that screams, or even whispers, BDSM is out of the question. my collar is a choker that is absolutly beuatiful, and i can wear in any setting, casual or formal, kinky or non-kinky. Since we knew we were looking for a choker, not a traditional collar, Sir took me to the mall and let me choose. Though he of course did have veto power and have to approve of my choice, he said with his fashion sense he would pick out something terrible and i would have to wear it all the time. as is, he loves my collar ALMOST as much as i do :devil:

i also have two collars that are used in scenes, when he wants to make a point about something, or if i am given permission to sleep in a collar. (since the chain on my everyday collar is fairly thin, i take it off when i sleep). one is black with a silver ring, and was bought at claires, of all places (goth wear i suppose). The other is red and is an actual dog collar bought at an 89 cents strore in pennsylvania.

before i had my collar, i wore a necklace with a heart charm Sir made. on the inside of the charm he had written "property of ***hisname***"
Click to expand...

Thanks for sharing that Mis! :rose:
When you say yours is a choker, I'm taking it you mean as in jewellery? It sounds lovely. I'm sure like yours, my Master has His ideas about what he would like to see me in...He's fond of velvet chokers, which again would be great for evening wear for me, but at work may look slightly out of place. Hence the reason I thought of looking for an alternative and He told me to look into it
I'll have to check out Claires as we have it in the UK :)
 
Master and i picked my collar out together. we were at the mall with my kids and we went into Hot Topic and as soon as i seen it i knew it was the one i wanted. when we first bought it it had a skull and cross bones on it but i asked if i could cut them off because they were just NOT me..He allowed me to and now it just looks like a choker, it has a rose pendant in the middle, somewhere around here is a picture of it that i posted, i believe it's on the distance Domination support thread. before we got this collar i had a necklace that He had bought me for christmas that i wore as a collar. they have them all over the place, we did look online but i couldn't find anything i really wanted. Hot Topic has alot, we even found one in Claires that i liked.....
 
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