Old 11-11-2012, 09:47 AM   #926
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Dear Toy Company,

"Doggie Doo"?? Just gross. If I wanted to play a game where the object was to collect three doggie poops, I'd just go to my neighbors yard with a pooper scooper!

Grossed Out Consumer
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Old 11-12-2012, 07:54 AM   #927
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Dear Grossed Out Consumer,

With young children I feel this game could catch on. Maybe even reaching the exalted status of the Easter Egg hunt, or the classic, Hide and (In the US - Go) Seek.

Perhaps after that legendary turkey you folks enjoy during Thanksgiving, a game of 'Hunt the Poop' would be an ideal way to ward off the postprandial snooze-fest.

Can I suggest that a few basic precautions are taken in advance to avoid ruining the Thanksgiving to Christmas period with various bacterial or parasitic nasties:
Firstly, Alcohol hand wash, I think one or two 55 gallon drums should be enough, perhaps rigging one up to an emergency shower in case a particularly rich cache of the sought after poop is found by a little one.;

Secondly, space suites, you may want to consider getting some in team colours to provide both a bio-barrier and sense of esprit d'corps for the participants;

Finally, strike up a friendship with the boys from the local fire brigade, both because other women whom I know tell me this just a good thing to do anyway (not sure why!) and also because those high pressure hoses may expedite the tidying up process at the end of the game.
Best wishes for a fun-filled celebration.

Yours,

Astonished that this idea hit shelves

P.S. much as I would love to join you on that day, I hope you will forgive my absence as doggy poop makes me retch
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Old 11-12-2012, 09:53 AM   #928
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EbersMoll View Post
Dear Grossed Out Consumer,

With young children I feel this game could catch on. Maybe even reaching the exalted status of the Easter Egg hunt, or the classic, Hide and (In the US - Go) Seek.

Perhaps after that legendary turkey you folks enjoy during Thanksgiving, a game of 'Hunt the Poop' would be an ideal way to ward off the postprandial snooze-fest.

Can I suggest that a few basic precautions are taken in advance to avoid ruining the Thanksgiving to Christmas period with various bacterial or parasitic nasties:
Firstly, Alcohol hand wash, I think one or two 55 gallon drums should be enough, perhaps rigging one up to an emergency shower in case a particularly rich cache of the sought after poop is found by a little one.;

Secondly, space suites, you may want to consider getting some in team colours to provide both a bio-barrier and sense of esprit d'corps for the participants;

Finally, strike up a friendship with the boys from the local fire brigade, both because other women whom I know tell me this just a good thing to do anyway (not sure why!) and also because those high pressure hoses may expedite the tidying up process at the end of the game.
Best wishes for a fun-filled celebration.

Yours,

Astonished that this idea hit shelves

P.S. much as I would love to join you on that day, I hope you will forgive my absence as doggy poop makes me retch


Dear Astonished Litster;

I think that the Alcohol Hand Wash is an great idea, as is the idea of space suits in team colors. However, I think the most brilliant idea of all is for me to go make some new friends down at the local fire house! Very clever, indeed!

Yours,
Wishing you would join me if for no other reason but to hold my hair back as I retch, Litster
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Old 11-12-2012, 10:07 AM   #929
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Dear Astonished Litster;

I think that the Alcohol Hand Wash is an great idea, as is the idea of space suits in team colors. However, I think the most brilliant idea of all is for me to go make some new friends down at the local fire house! Very clever, indeed!

Yours,
Wishing you would join me if for no other reason but to hold my hair back as I retch, Litster
Dear Long-haired litster,

The picture is the proof. I am considering buying a set just so that I can burn it!

I will now believe anything you tell me.

Yours,

In my day it was Mouse Trap and Buckeroo, The Rooting-Tooting Bucking Game Litster
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Old 11-12-2012, 10:25 AM   #930
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Dear Long-haired litster,

The picture is the proof. I am considering buying a set just so that I can burn it!

I will now believe anything you tell me.

Yours,

In my day it was Mouse Trap and Buckeroo, The Rooting-Tooting Bucking Game Litster
Dear Game Playing Litster,

Mouse Trap was great fun! I've never heard of Buckeroo, the Rooting-Tooting Bucking game. Thanks to Google, though, I think I've found it! Was it marketed with the slogan "Put on a shovel, try a pick, if it's too heavy the mule will kick"? I don't think PETA would endorse that product!

Also, you will now believe anything I tell you, huh? Hmmm, I will have to think about how best to use this new power of mine.

Yours,
Believable Litster
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Old 11-14-2012, 01:51 PM   #931
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Dear Cousin,

Thank you for the lesson!

Yours,
Truly living up to that nickname now Litster
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Old 11-14-2012, 02:13 PM   #932
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Dear City of Angels,

I miss you already.
Thank you.

Yours,
Blissfully Happy Non-Traveling Traveller
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Old 11-14-2012, 02:25 PM   #933
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Dear Router Manufacturer,

When I have access controls enabled, and the current time is within the permitted Internet access window, it would be jolly dandy if your half-arsed firmware didn't drop packets all over the lounge carpet!

Yours,

My teenage son learning Java could do a better job, Litster.
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Old 11-14-2012, 02:40 PM   #934
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Dear Router Manufacturer,

When I have access controls enabled, and the current time is within the permitted Internet access window, it would be jolly dandy if your half-arsed firmware didn't drop packets all over the lounge carpet!

Yours,

My teenage son learning Java could do a better job, Litster.
Dear frustrated Litster,

That was all gibberish to me, but I'm sorry you're encountering difficulties.

Yours,
Confused but concerned Litster
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Old 11-14-2012, 02:59 PM   #935
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Dear frustrated Litster,

That was all gibberish to me, but I'm sorry you're encountering difficulties.

Yours,
Confused but concerned Litster
Dear confused but concerned,

I think, in plain speak, what he's trying to convey is something like this:



Sincerely,
I could be wrong, but it's rare.
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Old 11-14-2012, 03:20 PM   #936
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Dear confused but concerned,

I think, in plain speak, what he's trying to convey is something like this:



Sincerely,
I could be wrong, but it's rare.
Quote:
Originally Posted by imemkay View Post
Dear frustrated Litster,

That was all gibberish to me, but I'm sorry you're encountering difficulties.

Yours,
Confused but concerned Litster
Dear Rarely Wrong and Confused but Concerned Litsters,

I'm afraid I can't see the image (do I need to be logged into that site?).

However, briefly, there is no way to make the parental controls, advertised as a feature on this router, actually work. By, 'work' I mean 'WORK' - LIKE AT ALL!!!!!!.

Yours,

Pleased I kept the packaging and hoping I don't meet my progeny on this site until at least 2017 Litster.
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Old 11-14-2012, 04:04 PM   #937
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Dear Rarely Wrong and Confused but Concerned Litsters,

I'm afraid I can't see the image (do I need to be logged into that site?).
Dear Ebers,

She uses a Mac which is absolutely a tool of the devil. That's probably why you can't see it. She pulled that ghost picture from her playlist and posted it for only Mac people to see.

Sincerely,

PC Bro
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Last edited by pmann : 11-14-2012 at 04:12 PM. Reason: changed "dead" Ebers to "dear" Ebers
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Old 11-14-2012, 04:10 PM   #938
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Dead Ebers,

She uses a Mac which is absolutely a tool of the devil. That's probably why you can't see it. She pulled that ghost picture from her playlist and posted it for only Mac people to see.

Sincerely,

PC Bro
Dear PC Bro,

Whilst this next comment may bring us back to the whole, homo-erotic, rainshine, puddle convo, I have to be candid with you.

Currently, I am sitting in front of 13" of the fruity one's finest, skin-thin, aluminium-clad, uber-book.

And I still can't see the fecking picture.

Yours,

Feeling a bit 'metro-sexual' litster

Last edited by EbersMoll : 11-14-2012 at 04:14 PM.
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Old 11-14-2012, 04:15 PM   #939
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Dear PC Bro,

Whilst this next comment may bring us back to the whole, homo-erotic, rainshine, puddle convo, I have to candid with you.

Currently, I am sitting in front of 13" of the fruity one's finest, skin-thin, aluminium-clad, uber-book.

And I still can't see the fecking picture.

Yours,

Feeling a bit 'metro-sexual' litster
Dear Metro Man,

I'd love to call you out for your metro ways, but the moment I do, I'll get a heaping pile of shit for my fashion forward lifestyle. So I'll just hi five and chest bump you.

Cheers,

Totally Hetero Pmann
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Old 11-14-2012, 04:26 PM   #940
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Originally Posted by EbersMoll View Post
Dear Rarely Wrong and Confused but Concerned Litsters,

I'm afraid I can't see the image (do I need to be logged into that site?).

However, briefly, there is no way to make the parental controls, advertised as a feature on this router, actually work. By, 'work' I mean 'WORK' - LIKE AT ALL!!!!!!.

Yours,

Pleased I kept the packaging and hoping I don't meet my progeny on this site until at least 2017 Litster.
Dear Cheated Consumer,

I hate to say it but your "WORK - LIKE AT ALL" comment kind of made me giggle.
The thought meeting your progeny on this site though - horrifying! Return that rotten router at once!

Guilty feeling giggling Litster
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Old 11-14-2012, 04:35 PM   #941
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Originally Posted by imemkay View Post
Dear Cheated Consumer,

I hate to say it but your "WORK - LIKE AT ALL" comment kind of made me giggle.
The thought meeting your progeny on this site though - horrifying! Return that rotten router at once!

Guilty feeling giggling Litster
Dear giggling litster, and cheated consumer,

This sort of thing really does happen. At least one of you should remember me finding a pic of my younger sister on a femdom site not too long ago. Disconcerting to say the least.

Still slightly appalled, yet also slightly proud litster
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Old 11-14-2012, 04:57 PM   #942
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Dear giggling litster, and cheated consumer,

This sort of thing really does happen. At least one of you should remember me finding a pic of my younger sister on a femdom site not too long ago. Disconcerting to say the least.

Still slightly appalled, yet also slightly proud litster
Dear slightly appalled/proud,

I remember you saying something about that one time. I can see your dilemma.

I'd have to just pretend I didn't see anything Litster
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Old 11-14-2012, 09:02 PM   #943
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Dear Ex,

I haven't seen or spoken to you in years. I do hope you're doing well and happy in life, though.

-Me
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Old 11-14-2012, 09:10 PM   #944
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Dear X,

I don't regret our time together...I knew it would end one day though I hoped we would grow old together. You ended it like a coward though and that is something I won't forgive. I've done something worse than hate you though. I feel nothing for you...Your a shadow in the background of my mind now. A thought that slips in as something reminds me of the many things we used to share. A familiar TV show or writing plot. A woman with hair like yours or something about your part of the world in the news. Thing is I don't feel the need or want to pickup the phone like I once did. I start to care about how you're doing and I just stop, and know you don't care how I'm doing. You're someone I used to know, and I don't wish you ill or care for you to explain yourself and the lies. If you somehow appeared at my door or on my phone I really don't know what we'd have to talk about. I hope you will learn to live with the pain you have, and the next lover in your life will fair better. Haven't seen you on Lit, but I've stopped looking.
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Old 11-15-2012, 03:54 AM   #945
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Dear Hetero & Metero,

A girl could really get used to these little displays.

Yours,
Puddle Jumping with my Macbook Air clutched firmly under my arm
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Old 11-15-2012, 04:09 AM   #946
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Since this has gone back to Exs and not X = whatever, Ill give it a whirl.

Ex 1 - yep
Ex 2 - yes
Ex 3 - YES
Ex 4 - ah no
Ex 5 - yes and still
Ex 6 - OH YES and still

Still friends with all the yep and yes Exs

a few in-betweens get a hi and smile from time to time as well

not bad odds I think - a to them all except Ex 4
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Old 11-15-2012, 04:53 AM   #947
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Quote:
Originally Posted by imemkay View Post
Dear Cheated Consumer,

I hate to say it but your "WORK - LIKE AT ALL" comment kind of made me giggle.
The thought meeting your progeny on this site though - horrifying! Return that rotten router at once!

Guilty feeling giggling Litster
Quote:
Originally Posted by Saucyminx View Post
Dear giggling litster, and cheated consumer,

This sort of thing really does happen. At least one of you should remember me finding a pic of my younger sister on a femdom site not too long ago. Disconcerting to say the least.

Still slightly appalled, yet also slightly proud litster
Dear Politely Giggling and Boot Wearing Proud Litsters,

To the former, that's quite all right. We must take humour wherever we can find it. Rest assured, your giggles will be as nothing compared to the joy I will feel when exchanging the lump of blue LEDs and shiny black plastic masquerading as a router for a more functional item.

To the latter, oh my!! That must make for interesting discussions while washing the dishes after family get-togethers. Have you considered perhaps collaborating on a published account of your exploits? Maybe in a compare and contrast format?

Yours,

Battle-ready and pondering Litster.
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Old 11-15-2012, 06:31 AM   #948
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Dear Sandman,

Thank you so much for sending me some dreams last night. But seriously. did they have to be about brussel sprouts and squash?


Well rested litster
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Old 11-15-2012, 12:53 PM   #949
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Dear Fucking Stupid Idiot Driver,

You cut me off and I kept my mouth shut. I didn't even flip you the bird you so richly deserved. You were jabbering on your cell phone and wouldn't have seen me anyway.

But then you had the audacity to slam on your brakes in the middle of the goddamn intersection and when I laid on the horn while screeching my own brakes to avoid hitting you, you had the further audacity to actually climb out of your car and give me the bird with both hands?

Fuck you and your brass balls, asshole. I saw where you parked.

Have you ever seen what sugar does to a gas tank?

Sincerely,
Your Friendly Neighborhood Vigilante
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Old 11-15-2012, 01:17 PM   #950
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Dear Friendly Neighborhood Vigilante,

Put down the sugar and back away from the car. Slow, deep breaths. In through the nose, out through the mouth.

Put on some good music, and make me some pancakes???

Your friend with the improved skills
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